chapter one。

mei xie's the last one to get her hair done before their debut stage. she stares at herself in the big budoir, the large circular lights blaring into her eyes as she watches every movement of the stylist's hands. they comb, straighten, and wave her hair. her entire body keeps still, save for her slim fingers that curl and uncurl around her phone. from the corner of the mirror, she sees tsuta and quinn playing around. as per usual.

quinn's pressing her back against tsuta's front, the curve of her lining up perfectly with tsuta's pelvic bone. pretending she's in a club and intoxicated off the atmosphere, she shakes her head left and right, long brown hair getting in her face. one of the stylists gave her a withering look because they had just done quinn's hair, but she pays no attention. she sways her hips, craning her neck to look at tsuta's neutral face.

"where are you from?" she says over the non-existent edm music, "you're my style."

with a hand on quinn's hip, tsuta's lips quirk up in a lazy kind of grin. "sorry, but i don't dance with pretty girls. i marry them."

then there's haneul and jiwoo practicing off in the corner, though leader xie suspects it to be more goofing off than anything. jiwoo's looking into one of the mirrors, haneul right by her side as they finish a quick run-through of their intro choreography—"hey, why does every group have a song called intro?" "that's... a really good question."—before jiwoo turns to haneul with a cheeky grin spread on her visage.

"hello class, welcome to professor jjyujjyu's dance 101!"

"teacher bread tanner!" haneul cries out, voice high as she grips jiwoo's wrist and shakes it lightly, "please teach your haneul the ways of the master!"

jiwoo pats haneul's soft cheek almost affectionately, "watch closely, my young summer flower. this is the only thing you need to know." cracking her back and neck almost comically, jiwoo locks up the muscles in her arms and flails them in the air.

"what was that?"

"locking! woah!" jiwoo does it again, this time with a leg popping up off the ground. all haneul could do is hold back horrified laughter because that was just about...the jiwoo-est thing she's ever seen. but then again, everything jiwoo did was the jiwoo-est. she was another species all of her own.

being freed from the confines of the stylist's chair, mei xie waddles to the center of the waiting in room in attempt to walk off the cramp in her (how long was she sitting there for her to get sore, she asks herself). "kids, let's practice once more from the top of intro." she adjusts her thigh highs and the garter strings holding them up, eyebrows furrowing together when she notices—

"wait, where's seohwa?"

her eyes lock with yeoreum's. yeoreum shrugs. probably crying her eyes out like spilled milk—yeoreum self-admittedly doesn't exactly know the meaning of that idiom—how fun. she wishes she could see kang seohwa getting attacked by wolves just like she does every night in her dreams. that would be cool.

the other members stares at mei xie, quinn whispering something about the iljin faker to tsuta. 

their manager strides into the dressing room, running a hand through his (what jiwoo never fails to mention) receding hairline. the staff at mnet were driving him crazy. "manager, have you seen seohwa?"

"last i've seen her, she told me she was going to the bathroom. that was about fifteen minutes ago."

the girls look at one another, and jiwoo shrugs. "maybe she has the runs." 

"i'll go make sure she's alright," mei xie pipes up, "practice without us until we get back."

"okay." they all chime as the leader hurries out of the room.

the halls of the mnet building are a pristine white, almost remniscent of a hospital with it's sterile walls. the only thing that makes it feel like a broadcasting company building are the pictures of celebrities and awards hanging on the wall. mei xie walks as quickly as she can without breaking out into a jog, bowing at the waist to every senior she sees walking by. in other words, she pretty much walks bent over the whole time entire time, and she tries to pass it off as "looking for her contacts." rookies had to keep a respectful image and all that.

just as she's approaching the bathrooms, mei xie sees seohwa emerge from a room just before them. she seems disheveled, mousy brown hair tangled up all over the place. her foundation's splotchy on her cheeks, just as if she had wiped it off with her own hands. the stylists would not be happy. clutching her stomach, seohwa closes the door behind her, blanching once she spots mei xie.

"you okay?" mei xie asks reluctantly, watching seohwa walk stiffly towards her.

she can hear seohwa's shallow breaths, "just... not feeling well."

"take some vitamins once we get back to the dressing room, alright?"

once they return to the dressing room, the girls have to head almost right out backstage, but not before the stylists chide seohwa for messing up her hair and makeup. they re-do her as quickly as they could before sending the two off.

they look good—excluding yeoreum's opinion, not enough sparkles or pirate costumes. their disco ponte pants look trendy, they are trendy. yeoreum and jiwoo are sporting oversized graphic tees tucked into their high-waisted shorts (though yeoreum had added a bit of extra sparkles onto hers). seohwa's wearing a red, cropped chiffon blouse with a ribbon tied around her neck and a garter belt tied around her thin thigh. quinn wore something similar, although her blouse is a striking purple with red accenting. mei xie has on a cropped black turtleneck and an oversized bomber jacket with her thigh highs, and tsuta and haneul work cropped off-shoulder tops in contrasting colors.

they look good, and they know they look good. they had practiced their songs until the moves felt like muscle memory, they stayed up memorizing their lyrics until dawn. they were going to debut. they were ready to debut.




two am. mei xie had just given everyone break time, so the girls broke into their "cliques" and meandered over to their bags and awfully inviting iced water bottles. they slid down the walls and onto the cold, wooden practice room floor, panting hard in effort to catch their breath again. quinn and tsuta sat together on one side of the room, blonde hair resting on quinn's lap as she gulped down water. she offered some to tsuta.

"baby, you're perfect."

"drink it, dummy."

tsuta shot finger guns at quinn with a wink and quinn shot them right back.

seohwa and haneul sat down a few feet away as they watched jiwoo sway from side to side, arms waving in windmills, wondering how the girl still had energy to stand but also not questioning it because everyone knew lee jiwoo had more energy than a neuclear reactor. jiwoo talked about the squirrel she saw the other day that made eye contact with her, and how it made her feel like a disney princess, which eventually sparked a desire to try talking to the other animals.

seohwa shook her head, "why am i friends with you."

"because i'm your sweet, energizing coffee, unnie!" there was an ungodly amount of aegyo to her words, and haneul could feel her fingers and toes curdling like cheese.

"i am... disgusted." the girls laughed at the love and hip hop reference.

mei xie saw yeoreum sitting towards the front of the practice room, by the door, alone. she was staring at the wall, trying to unravel its secrets. mei xie approached her, "doing alright yeoreum?"

yeoreum nodded.

"try to get to bed immediately after practice, alright?" she said, "if you need anything, just let me know."

yeoreum didn't respond. the air between them grew thick, palpable, uncomfortable. mei xie didn't say anything more, didn't blink, didn't breathe. did yeoreum hate her? she honestly didn't know.

"are you excited for tomorrow? nervous?"

there was no reply.

just before the silence could strangle mei xie—because even though she liked quiet time, yeoreum's silence always made goosebumps errupt across her skin—there was a knock at the practice room door. mei xie opened it, and jung hoseok popped out.

"noona! did you order some hobi-min c?"

the other girls cringed at the amount of grease and the lame pun, even tsuta and jiwoo. mei xie cooed lovingly and patted his cheek.

a harsh kick to hoseok's sent him tumbling into the practice room, "hurry up, ." yoongi said as he and the rest of the bangtan members piled into the room, all carrying tasty-smelling bags.

the girls lined up at leader xie's call, bowing as they greeted their seniors. formalities aside, namjoon handed the bag in his hands to jiwoo who accepted it with an excited shriek, "we just wanted to wish you guys good luck on your debut stage today." 

jin handed his bag to seohwa, "we brought you some spicy braised chicken and some octopus soup so you'd have plenty of energy for tomorrow."

they thanked the boys for the food, quinn touching hoseok's hand and hoseok giggling like a school girl. mei xie sent quinn the i killed a man look. after a while, time filled with talking and discovering that the only reason they stopped by was because jungkook was thinking of haneul—"it's not like that!" "sure it's not, kookie."—bangtan headed back to their dorm for the night.

the girls sat in a circle in the middle of the practice room floor, the smell of spices and garlic filling the air. the steam rising from the bowls of food opened up their pores and made them feel refreshed.

"i was expecting jokbal."

"jokbal isn't a health food." seohwa said, not even bothering to look up as she broke her chopsticks apart, "don't complain."

tsuta stared at her, face blank but eyes flaring up with rage. jiwoo laughed as she took a bite of the chicken, sighing in foodie bliss. "it is for tsuta unnie! jokbal's unnie's only food group."

"don't mock jokbal, you little anchovy."

haneul asked anyone if they were going to eat the potatoes in their spicy braised chicken, and leader xie slid her potatoes down across the floor. she asked if yeoreum wanted any extra chicken or octopus. yeoreum shook her head.

no words were spoken between the group once they all began to dig into their food; lip smacking and eating noises did all the talking for them. a nice, large meal was exactly what they needed after hours of practice. mei xie watched as her children ate, her gaze shifting between the six of them. she leaned forward a bit, arm resting on her knee as her head rested in her palm.

the whole moment was peaceful. something about it was special despite the mundaneness of it all, and she couldn't quite figure out why. they had eaten together like this, but not quite like this. usually they ate kimbap or sandwiches. usually quinn would be missing.

it was a foggy seoul night. by this time, the streets would empty for the most part and damn near the whole city would be asleep. all the lights in the city were off except for the one in their practice room.

it made reality feel a bit distorted, as if there wasn't much more to the universe than the seven of them.

all seven of them held the beauty, the mystery, the vastness, and the potential of the universe. something as simple as the early morning hours of the day of their debut stage made even the smallest thing beautiful.

the specs of dust on the mirrors were beautiful, the condensation on the windows and their water bottles was beautiful, the smell of girl sweat mixed in with the aroma of food was beautiful.

mei xie's heart felt full in that moment, overwhelmed in a good way. her chatoyant eyes were soft with a warm, inner glow as she looked upon everyone.

"mei-unnie, what's wrong?" seohwa asked as she patted a napkin against her lips.

tsuta eyed mei xie's mostly filled bowls of food, "are you gonna eat that?" mei xie allowed her to take some.

"i was just thinking about how nice this is." mei xie said. she lowered her head to try and hide her mawkish smile, "i'm really greatful for all the hard work you've all done. and i'm really glad we're groupmates."

seohwa couldn't figure out where all of this was coming from. "are you nervous about tomorrow?" 

"i'm excited. this doesn't really feel real, but it does at the same time. i... i feel like i was able to make the people closest to me proud." ama, park, she made them proud. "and that makes me feel really proud. and i wouldn't feel this way if it wasn't for you guys, so thank you."

seohwa should make dumplings for mei xie some time. "i'm... nervous." she didn't want to share too much, in case quinn and tsuta were judging her, but she also didn't want leader xie to feel isolated in her sentiment. "but at the same time, it feels like i've managed to validate my life choices. like, i've began to leave my mark on the world."

looking up at the ceiling, haneul wondered if she should share her feelings or keep them locked up. but... everyone deserved to know how she felt about them. "i-it feels like i'm becoming haneul of trv and not just 'little legend, daughter of nam sanggi'. and... you all have been so nice to me and are some of the only people who see me as me."

"i'm just really really happy that i got to meet all of you." jiwoo said as she rocked back and forth on her heels. her grin was infectious and the apples of her cheeks glowed. "you all take such good care of me."

tsuta was living for all of this deep, sentimental communication! like her up, please. she was even digging seohwa's feelings because it wasn't a time for malice, it was a time for expressing and soaking up gratitude. "it feels like... we're all bigger than ourselves. like, this is what we were brought together to do, this is our destiny guys. everything up 'til now has been worth it."

she looked towards quinn, entwining their arms. tsuta wanted to know her deepest, most intimate, thoughts because they were friends. everyone was looking at her, even that iljin faker was expecting her to express feelings of camaraderie. "this is fun." she said, "you all make things fun. let's keep playing together." 

it wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the complete truth.

everyone looked towards yeoreum. "it's good." she said. they all assumed she was talking about the group.

either way, they all wanted to drink in the moment.

eating together at two am the day of their debut stage. it was a feeling they'd remember forever.





"trv, prepare to enter stage left."

the atmosphere's filled with quivering muscles, heart palpitations, and sweaty palms as the tech crew does a quick mic check for the girls. mei xie breaks the silence. 

"we came this far, we can't back out now. don't focus on how nervous you are, think about why we're doing this. we're here to achieve our dreams, right? remember how nice everything felt at two am this morning, and channel that into a fun performance our fans want to see. we'll do great and after this, we'll stuff our faces with dumplings, alright?"

she sticks her hand out, everyone piling their clammy hands atop hers. "one, two, three—"

"oi!"

oh my girl finishes their stage and trv bows to greet them before hitting the stage themselves. 

as soon as they walk out, fans began cheering and screaming. the girls lining up in a horizontal line upstage, weight shifted onto one hip with one leg bent at the knee. they wait silently before they finally recieve the cue.

quinn's sultry voice fills the music flowing into their ears, "hey boy."

on the first note, they turn to face the crowd in synch, bringing their fingers to their mouth in a whisting gesture.

"make 'em whistle like a missle, bomb bomb." jiwoo raps with the same amount of swag mei xie had instructed her to during the song recording, the crowd joining her on the 'bomb bomb.' their right arms circle above their heads, facing their right, and they pop their booties four times. "every time i show up, blow up uh. make 'em whistle like a missle, bomb bomb. every time i show up, blow up uh."

quinn begins to sing, looking directly into the camera with a teasing glimmer in her eyes. "you are so beautiful, i can't forget about you. your eyes still make my heart flutter, boom boom."

"24, 3-6-5." yeoreum sings, the camera quickly panning to her. "i only wanna be with you. during the day and at night, i want you like this, ooh ooh."

mei xie struts forward dripping with swagger, girls cheering as she moves downstage. "every guy checks me out daily, they all think they can have me. i don't want a lot of things, i want your heart. cut out your heart and show me confidently, sometimes chic chic. so hot, so hot make me not know what to do. softly call out to me like a whistle in my ear."

they form a small diagonal line with mei xie the furthest downstage and yeoreum on the opposite end, each member stepping up until they reach the edge of the stage. quinn holds her mic to her lips, waggling a finger on her other hand. "don't pass me by if you can't forget about me either, woah."

the rest of the girls move back as seohwa slides to center stage. "my heart for you is a fire, my heart is beating so fast," everyone runs around each other, "you can hear it more and more." they throw their right arms back before kicking their feet and flicking their wrists. "whistle."

"uh," mei xie's lips quirk up into a slight smirk at the camera, "whistle, whistle, whistle."

"can you hear that?"

"whistle, whistle, whistle." they do the handlebar dance move, one of their point choreography with jiwoo in the center.

"whistle."

"uh, whistle, whistle, whistle."

"can you hear that?"

"whistle, whistle, whistle."

"hold up." mei xie holds her hand up as tsuta moves to the center of the formation.

"don't say anything, just whistle to my heart. that sound makes my heart flutter, boom boom."

yeoreum sings into the mic taped to her cheek, "thoughts are boring, feelings are shh. every day, all day stay by my side, zoom zoom."

dripping with a chic kind of charisma, haneul takes the stage. "uh, i'm always stylin', i'm chic but in front of you, darling. it's getting hot like a desert island. the more i get to know you, the more my heart rings. stop hesitating, come over to me boy, it's checkmate now. i win this game. i choose you, i'll hug you harder before someone takes you away, uh."

"this beat got me feelin' like."

tsuta moves to the center of the formation once again, the others making their hands sway from side to side like a gentle breeze was blowing them. "i hope we won't just pass by like the wind."

"there's no need for so many words." seohwa sings.

"just take me to your side, ooh." quinn prepares and executes her heady high note and the group moves into their other point choreo, the jump rope.

"make 'em whistle like a missle, bomb bomb. every time i show up, blow up uh. make 'em whistle like a missle, bomb bomb. every time i show up, blow up uh."

up on that stage, beneath the sweltering lights and the array of cameras zooming all around them, time passes both quickly and slowly. it slows for those who were only dancing, and speeds up for those who were executing their respective parts. each time they hear fans singing along, their hearts hammer against their chests.

the renewed vibe complete their debut stage.





jiwoo sticks her face in the camera, it's hd screen capturing a close up of her nostrils and widened, made up eyes. "is this thing on?" her voice drops down to a whisper, "oh my god what if the orange juice i spilled last time—oh, wait." she sits right back down once she sees that it is, waving her hands at the camera with a bright smile. "hi everyone! it's trv's dancer, jiwoo! lee jiwoo in charge of dance! this is...my first log since we officially announced our debut, so long time no see. we finished our debut stage and filming for m countdown, so thank you to everyone who came out and those who watched from home!

"being on stage was just... wow. i feel like i fell in love with dancing all over again. i remembered why i came to korea. it was just so amazing, performing in front of so many people, and i'm so happy i got to share it with all of you and all of the unnies. right now, we're at mei xie-unnie's family restaurant and i'm hiding out in the bathroom to record this. unnie and her grandma are making us lots of dumplings. punsus out, bye everyone!"