CHAPTER FOUR.
ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ TRVㅤ✕ㅤBIGHIT'S NEW GIRL GROUPㅤ:ㅤChapter four。
yuju was busy, joy was busy, jungkook was busy. she wanted to fangirl over seungkwan's high notes but instead she's hanging with weird accent mark lee and johnny. they all sit at a rounded table bat some hole-in-the-wall hongdae cafe. mark wears a hideous beanie that he stuffed all his hair into, some oversized dragonfly glasses and a surgical mask. he looks ridiculous, and seohwa points that out immediately.
johnny laughs, as if he's safe from being roasted by the Noodle Queen™. "watch it johnny," she says, "he only has to do this because he actually debuted. let's not forget who hasn't."
"drag me, noodle mom!" johnny gasps, "drag your little pole dancer!"
they laugh, they talk, mark almost decks johnny, the usual. seohwa laughs with them, chats with them, tries to stop mark from dropping johnny like this is wwe, but she feels...huh.
she stops to think about it, to feel the sensations going on inside her lanky body. her heartbeat seems slower than usual. and her fingers tremble every time her thoughts flip to trv. and spots flash in her vision every once in a while.
seohwa's hurt. and pissed. all she wants is the group's success, and quinn jang is obviously in the way of that success, and she's the bad guy?
"jeez stella," mark says, "how much coffee did you drink today? your hands are shaking like wild."
"coffee is a natural laxitive."
she rolls her eyes, lightheartedly, of course. "thank you, young hoe." she fidgets with her hands, "i just... some members were fighting and then mei xie cancelled practice for the rest of the day. so i just feel kinda ty."
"why didn't you say so?"
"if we knew you were feeling down, we would've treated you to samgyeopsal! but since you didn't mention it sooner..."
"give me my frickin' samgyeopsal or i'll break your fingers, seo youngho. you haven't debuted yet, you can handle a few 'accidents'."
oh, how seohwa loves instilling fear in their hearts. she gets her samgyeopsal in the end. and talking to her friends about all the drama going on in her work sphere makes her feel better. her mother won't listen to her, her sister was too busy to care. mei xie has to remain impartial to everything, and yeoreum... isn't the best listener? the managers would rather not deal with all the girl drama, so the only people seohwa can really talk to are mark and johnny.
"... and if tsuta lived in a jokbal place, she still wouldn't be satisfied—"
"wait, tsuta lives in a jokbal place?"
without missing a beat, seohwa and mark breathe in, and on the exhale they let out a synchronized, "oh my god!"
"i cannot believe you." seohwa says.
"that is literally one of the dumbest things you've said." mark adds on.
their teasing is in jest, and as they vocalize their faux disapproval for johnny's intelligence, he nearly chokes on his scone from laughing too hard.
"guys, i almost died!"
she's grateful to have mark and johnny in her life.
she wonders why she couldn't stop seohwa, tsuta, and quinn from fighting. she should be upset with tsuta, she decides, defending someone who did something wrong and blowing up at someone who called out problematic behavior was ridiculous. but... she loves tsuta and quinn and seohwa, so she can't bring herself to take sides.
it makes her head hurt, taking into consideration everyone's possible rhyme and reason for their outbursts today. she rings the doorbell of the chic apartment she stands in front of, waiting in anticipation.
her feet led her here on their own, she just went out for a walk to think about things, and she ended up here.
haneul hears the door unlocking, and the look on her mother's face when she opens the door is priceless.
"wythe!" her mother's face was beaming, flushed with rich colors of joy and elation. her dexterous hands grab her temples, telling haneul that she can't believe it's her. with fast, precise movements, her mom wraps her into a tight hug, holding the back of haneul's head. "joon! joon, wythe's home!" she exclaims as she whisks haneul inside the stylish apartment.
it's strange, haneul felt calm as she knocked on the door, but being in her mother's warm embrace, seeing her mother again, and the fact that her dad's actually home when she decides to visit, all of her thoughts scatter.
kang hyunjoon walks into the wide, minimalist front room and sees the vibrant face of his only and favorite daughter. as soon as haneul lays eyes on him, her grin absolutely cannot be contained. "what's that in the sky? it's haneul!"
he goes in for a hug and haneul finds herself cringing with laughter at his lame name pun, something she's heard all 18 years of her life, something that reminds her that she's home.
her mom and dad crowd her, asking her all sorts of questions about idol life, about her groupmates, about if they're working hard or barely working. everything that haneul holds inside seems to melt away. all the feelings she's been bottling up, her worries, the stress, hearing her parents say her name made everything alright for the time being.
for now, instead of being trv's skylar, she's just wythe kang.
for now, being wythe kang is better than being trv's skylar.
her dad returns to the kitchen, revving up the skillet and preparing his pancake mix. he makes her and her mother large stacks of pancakes, topping wythe's with a whipped cream smiley face and a chocolate syrup heart. "dad, i don't like whipped cream."
"are you questioning my impeccable and wondrous service with a smile?"
"dad, just switch our pancakes!"
"i don't like whipped cream either."
her mom scrapes the whipped cream off wythe's pancakes to spare herself an hour long back and forth about whipped cream.
"i'll make some pancakes for your members too!" he says, "i'll mail them to you guys!"
"but dad, we all live in seoul, you can just drop them off."
"i know, but i want them to be a surprise. something to pick you all up when you're feeling down!"
her mother chimes in, "or if you ever feel like you need to take a break, you can always come back here."
wythe smiles. she grins, white teeth beaming. she's lucky to have such amazing parents. she's lucky to have such a strong support system. she's lucky to be the daughter of nam sanggi and kang hyunjoon. only to her, they're not nam sanggi and kang hyunjoon, they're mom and dad.
either way, she's luckier than she can believe.
she's kissing him, desperately this time.
it's strange, it's usually him kissing her like this, like she's trying to let go of all the stress and second-guessing and the feelings of being terrible and not good enough, like he usually was.
her lips are soft, and they taste like a delectable ambrosia of chocolate, honey, and mint.
chocolate cheeks and chocolate wings.
is it pretentious to think about your own song that you wrote about a girl? the very girl kissing you right now? probably.
his thoughts fade as he can feel her tongue, soft and wet and warm, sensations that are gross in the wrong context but currently feel so good.
her hips, he can feel them, moving against his.
he breaks away from her, not because he doesn't want her—he does. but he senses something wrong. he holds her by the small of her back, that sensitive and tender spot that fit perfectly in his hands. "something wrong?" he asks as he leans away from her lips.
maybe she'll want to talk about it, maybe she won't. asking is always polite, though.
"no." that's a lie and she knows it. it's a lie and he knows it.
"you're different today." that's true and they both know it.
"i just want you." he can't tell if that's the truth or a lie.
she leans in to kiss him again, and he stops her by pulling away some more. "seriously quinn, talk to me."
"nothing's wrong."
"do you miss your family? are you homesick? is your group fighting?"
he hits the nail on the head, but all she gives him in response is a grin.
she doesn't want to talk about it, not with namjoon, not with anyone. not even tsuta. no one can understand, no one wants to defend her. no one likes the favorite.
"wanna know how to make me feel better?" she leans in closer to his face, sweet breath tickling his cheek, "kiss me."
he frowns, only for a split second, before he leans in to seize her lips once more.
quinn jang won't let anyone in because quinn jang knows that, at the end of the day, she's all alone. she's all alone and people will despise her no matter what she does. her groupmates will always find another reason to hate her, so she's all alone. not physically, because namjoon's hands travel up and down her body. not socially, because she'll go to the club after this and mix & mingle with all the people there, but emotionally.
no, eternally.
the only person who knows what quinn jang is going through is quinn jang herself.
lee jiwoo looks ridiculous. younghye has her well-manicured, sharp nails gripping and toying with jiwoo's black tresses. she styles them in various ways, pig-tails, twin braids, sailor moon buns, everything cute and saccharine and completely the opposite of jiwoo's ranting.
"and—arg!—quinn, why do you have to bring namjoon into your affairs, of all people? the leader of our senior group, the leader of the group that's way more successful than we are, the leader of the group we're trying to avoid being compared to, you couldn't have chosen someone else?"
jiwoo's nostrils flare as she glares at the mirror. and by extention, herself. clad in a pink tutu, opaque blue tights, bedazzle jewels beneath her eye bags, childlike hairstyles, purple polka-dotted rain boots, jiwoo is once again being used as younghye's doll. younghye calmly responds to jiwoo's volcanic anger, "she did that before you guys were supposed to go on stage?"
"yes!" jiwoo's voice is taut as she pounds her thighs with her closed fists. "and she always skips out on practice because she's busy doing whatever she does! like, mei xie, my beautiful and elegant mother, hasn't missed practice once! even when she was sick with a really high fever! if quinn wants to do her own thing, why does she have to be part of the group?
"and then tsuta-unnie yells at seohwa-unnie for calling quinn out on her behavior! it's not fair to seohwa-unnie because she's worked so hard to make it here and quinn just slacks off and gets ahead! but it's weird because tsuta-unnie's the same way! tsuta-unnie works super hard to be good at things, so she should understand seohwa-unnie's perspective, but she sides with quinn just because she doesn't like seohwa-unnie!"
younghye grimmaces, "if there's already so much drama happening in the group, how long will you guys last?"
"there shouldn't be any drama! but—but namjoon just had to get himself involved with quinn! none of this would have happened if he would have said 'not right now, you have a broadcast, quinn'."
younghye wraps her arms around jiwoo's head. what looks like a full nelson turns into a warm hug, jiwoo's head against younghye's chest as she hugs her sad, angry, smol bean.
"yeoreum. do you wanna come with me to ama's?"
she shakes her head.
"are you sure you'll be fine by yourself?"
she nods.
mei xie frowns a bit before grabbing her keys and heading towards the front door. "don't open the door for strangers. there's food in the fridge and snacks in my bedside drawer." she opens the door and begins to leave, before sticking her head back in, "oh, and yeoreum?"
yeoreum looks at her.
"please don't summon any spirits in the dorm."
yeoreum makes no promises.
as soon as she's certain mei xie's gone, she gets dressed and puts on her black, thrifted boots and her raggedy backpack, filled with cat food and treats and bowls. her homework? beneath all the cat stuff.
she heads out by the garbage cans, resting on the side of their building. she looks around, up and down the mildly suspicious alleyway.
from the darkness, there's a deep, low growl that resonates. it grows louder and louder, as if more and more forces are joining together to make the noise.
the miniscule vibrations coming from the ground shake her to her core. faint goosebumps erupt across her pale, almost pallor skin.
she sees a flicker of green eyes, followed by more and more. they flood out of the darkness, swarming yeoreum.
they rub against her legs and thin, string bean body. their furry tails sway lackadaisically from side to side, and they meow at her, paw at her bag, beg for food and love. the corner of her lips twitch upwards as she feels them purr against her. as soon as she places the bowls down, all the cats freeze and look up at her.
she feels powerful.
she pours their food and pets their fluffy bodies and prods at their sides as they eat. they let out happy sounds, small "brrrup"s and "blep"s. when they're done, they're willing to follow her to the edge of the earth.
she decides to go explore. they follow her.
the looks she gets from people who see a ghostly looking girl being trailed by stray cats is hilarious, like taking candy from a baby.
she walks around the streets of hongdae. it was one of her favorite places because there were always new things to discover. she peers into the window of a secondhand shop, an bald middle-aged man looking up from his paper at her. "what's a ten year old doing here?"
"i'm sixteen."
it's fun, being outside and walking around. it makes her grin.
her chest rises and falls in time with the old woman's, their breathing completely in synch. dark eyes follow the world-weary, elegant, forlorn hands that pick up and tilt the aloe leaf onto the needlepoint holders. she flourishes them with ivy wrapped around their length and arborvitae at the base. baachan places more flowers in the shallow vase, setting them in place with a feathery touch.
she doesn't look up at tsuta at all. she doesn't say a word to tsuta.
tsuta can feel an itch in . she came over because she wanted to talk to her baachan, but the old woman was busy when tsuta arrived. she has no clue how baachan can do this, sit in silence for so long. her eyes follow baachan's saggy fingertips, watches as they feel the top of the needlepoints before another flower is set down.
"baachan." the silence is broken, a bridge between them opened, "what are you doing?"
"ikebana." the response comes without pause, "flower arrangement."
"what kind of arrangement is it?" tsuta asks in korean. the language once again tastes sour in . here she is, matsumoto tsuta, ethnically japanese member of the renewed vibe, speaking to her japanese grandmother about japanese things in korean.
her tongue feels like curdled cheese.
"moribana." baachan's hands continue to place down flowers precisely. "do you see these needles, tsutsu? these metal frogs?"
"yes." it's not much in her native language, but it makes her feel a bit better.
"i use these to feel where i can put flowers. i cannot see the space, but i can feel the sharp emptiness. and so i put a flower where it will be most needed."
tsuta scoots closer, resting on her knees as she takes a closer look at her baachan's work. she wants to touch the needlepoints, too. she wants to be like baachan. elegant, profound, wise. baachan can sense it.
"give me your hand." tsuta listens well and baachan wraps her old hand around her granddaughter's. baachan splays tsuta's fingers and presses the soft pad of her index finger against the sharp top.
tsuta flinches and pulls away, eyebrows furrowing and releasing as a tiny bead of blood bubbles at the surface of her skin.
"your fingers are too young. too eager to touch. they react actively instead of cautiously, and now your fingertip hurts."
tsuta looks between her baachan and the tiny bit of blood on her finger, holding her own hand by the wrist. "am i a bad person, baachan?"
"we all are."
"but am i despicable?" her lips press together in a slight grimace, and she smooths out her sweater as she awaits the woman's response.
it doesn't come.
"baachan—"
"you are flawed. this seohwa girl is flawed. quinn is flawed. do you want my honest opinion?"
"please."
"the ones most at fault, in order from greatest to least are : quinn, you, seohwa." tsuta's muscles tighten as baachan confirms what she already knows. she grits her teeth while the woman continues. "adjusting from a individualistic culture to a collective one is difficult for quinn, the concept of 'for the good of the whole' not resounding with her. however, when in a different country, you must abide by those slight nuances that run beneath the surface. there is nothing wrong with seeking pleasure after duties have been fulfilled.
"however, to be so hedonistic at such a vital point should not be condoned. seohwa cares for the group, enough to bring up the bad behavior, although at an inappropriate time when said behavior was not the discussion of the topic. you held no stakes in the conflict other than you liking quinn and disliking seohwa. you jumped into a conflict out of spite, with nothing to gain from the situation."
tsuta's body becomes unnaturally stiff, tense to ward off the small trembles that wrack her body. she forces herself to maintain eye contact. she knew this would be what baachan had to say, so why is she tight? she bites down on her lip.
"do not look like that. the fact that you asked me if you were a despicable person shows you're already aware of what you did." baachan shuts her eyes and gives a firm nod. "look, my tsuta."
tsuta's eyes follow baachan's gesturing hand to the finished flower arrangement.
looking closely at it, tsuta sees the ivy-wrapped aloe with arborvitae base to the left and right of the shallow vase, an exact replica on both sides. in between the two upwards structures are various flowers in shades of purple and cornish blue and ombre'd pink and white. smack dab in the center rests a yellow rose.
"it's pretty, baachan." equal parts minimalist and contemporary, a unique and free-form arrangement rests in front of her face. tsuta marvels at it for a while, wondering what it'd be like to get this placed in a museum.
"do you know what these plants mean?"
"no."
"aloe is for healing, protection, and affection and ivy is for friendship and continuity. the arborvitae means unchanging friendship. notice how the unchanging friendship is at the base of affection, healing, and protection? it is a strong foundation for the aloe. see how the ivy spirals up around the aloe? when you pair the aloe and the ivy, you get continuity of your affection. your group must reconcile, heal, and move past this in order to continue on together.
"see how these flowers create a bridge to your healing and continuity? the yellow rose represents your starting point, what trv already has; joy, friendship, and the promise of a new beginning." she points to the purple flowers with scalloped petals, "this is cranesbill. it means coming together, a sense of togetherness between mind, body, and spirit. you all must align to a greater purpose and focus on the greater good of the group."
she points to the cornflowers, their cornish blue hue aesthetically pleasing to tsuta's eyes. "cornflower. some people call it 'bachelor button'. it symbolizes youthful freedom and the anticipation of fulfilling the dreams you hold dear in your heart. you all share the same dream and the opprotunity to pursue it. why poison your dream with toxic negativity? and the amrayllis," she gestures to the pink and white flower that lines the edge of the cranesbill and cornflower, "the amaryllis is about building harmony with yourself and others. it signifies your personal magic, the magic of your spirit and soul that make all of you unique and beautiful.
"i made this for trv, because this is what you need right now."
she feels her face glowing in adoration and awe. her hand clenches at the fabric of her sweater, the fabric over her heart, "baachan?"
"what—" before baachan can finish, tsuta wraps her arms around the woman, who only responds by rubbing tsuta's back with a quiet smile. "head home now." she says, "don't make that mei xie worry about you. and take the flowers. and call more often. and don't stay up too late. and don't shirk your work."
tsuta responds with a steady stream of "yes, yes, yes" as she gathers her things and kisses baachan on the cheek and forehead.
in the cab home, she sends a message to their group chat.
'everyone come home baachan made us something'
she stares ahead with an unfocused gaze, a shallow sigh lingers on her lips. she opens to say something, only to close it and sit in silence for a few more minutes.
"i hate you right now, you know?" and as her words ride on the wind and up to the heavens, her eyes prick with tears. "if you were here, everything would be so much easier. i... god, i'm a failure as a leader. not even a month after our debut and everyone's at each other's throats. god, these girls are more trouble than they're worth.
"i wish you were... here. because i feel like right now. everyone's depending on me for so much all the time... and they're all so young! seriously, who lets a sixteen and seventeen year old into a hip hop group? i love them but i feel like a single mother trying to provide for six ed up children. and i just wish you were here to help me with them. i think they'd like you."
more silence rises between the two of them. "hey, are you the spirit yeoreum says is following me around? i don't mind if you are but, can't you support me a little more?
"i just... i want to go back. to before that day. back when it was just us against the world and we were happy."
the breeze is quiet and still, especially in the cemetary. it's a bit creepy, a bit forlorn, being here so late at night. she looks up at the stars in the 11:30 pm light-polluted sky and wishes she could see him in the constellations.
a cracking branch and shrill voice brings her from her reverie. "yah, lang mei xie."
"mother?"
kim yoomi doesn't say much, but instead motions to the person beside her. "this little one has been searching for you."
"jiwoo?" mei xie's first reaction is to ask jiwoo what she's doing up so late on a school night.
"you shouldn't let a girl like her be up this late on a school night." nevermind.
jiwoo approaches mei xie, who stands up. "i wanted to go home with you, unnie."
before mei xie can ask if something's wrong, jiwoo hugs her, the crown of her head resting beneath mei xie's chin. mei xie hugs her back, a quiet kind of desperation for assurance and physical affection. "do you think our group is gonna last, mei xie-unnie?"
"of course." mei xie wasn't sure herself, but she wants them to last, and jiwoo wants them to last. her chatoyant eyes flicker towards her mother. did she come all this way because she was worried?
no.
"let's head back, jiwoo."
they enter the dorm to find it silent, sans the low murmur of the television. on the screen was the title of a cheesy horror film, probably one yeoreum wanted to watch. everyone lays next to one another, cuddled up in a large, makeshift blanket fort. mei xie tells jiwoo to lay down as she begins cleaning the popcorn spilled out of fear and the soft drinks lingering in cups. there were face mask wrappers in a pile on the wooden floor and mani-pedi tools scattered about. they even had games and that lie detector thing out.
mei xie cleans quietly, manuvering around their sleeping bodies. the scene makes her smile, a scene of wholesome fun between her girls, a scene that restores her hope in the sake of the group. the only one missing is quinn, and mei xie sends her a text, asking her if she's alright and in a safe place.
"mei xie-unnie?" she hears jiwoo's voice call out for her.
"yeah?"
"whose grave were you visiting?"
mei xie pauses for a moment. should she tell jiwoo about park?
no, it's past her bedtime.
"i'll tell you about it one day. go to bed jiwoo."
"will you sleep with me, unnie?"
"yeah."
"soaring through the sky, skylar's log!" haneul shoots finger guns at the camera, flashing her dazzling smile. "today has been a nice day! i visited my parents and spent all day there... we actually talked for a really long time, wow. i went there at like two pm and didn't get home 'til ten? my dad made pancakes while i was there, the kind he always makes with the berry and whipped cream smiley faces, even though i don't like whipped cream. and then he said he'd mail all of us some. i was like 'dad we both live in seoul, just mail them to us' but he wanted them to be a surprise.
"and moto-unnie's grandma gave us these super gorgeous flowers! we're still trying to figure out where to place them. seohwa unnie says in the bathroom so our—"
" can smell like jasmine!" seohwa and tsuta shout.
haneul rolls her eyes, laughing at their rap monster reference. "will we ever find a place for our flowers?" in the background, tsuta and yeoreum are having a dance off on the sofa, with tsuta krumping as hard as she can. she krumps so hard that she falls off the couch with a shriek and just as seohwa and haneul look at her just before she reaches the ground, a 'to be continued' arrow moves from the bottom right to bottom left corner of the screen while the song "roundabout" from jojo's bizzare adventure plays in the background.
jiwoo laughs way too hard at that when she watches haneul's log.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is late and naturally, i had to include a meme to make up for it. have yall ever heard of the jojo's bizzare adventure 'to be continued' meme?? it's literally my favorite thing in existence please go watch compliations of it.
how does ya girl like to interact with fans? are they very interactive in person or are they more interactive through a screen? how do they usually behave at fansigns and fanmeets?
mei xie is better at fansigns than fanmeets, she likes the one-on-one interaction for short periods of time. she memorizes everyone's faces and tries to remember their names. if they're young and the fanmeet is on a school day, she'll scold them for not being in school. at fanmeets, she always tries to bring food for the fans that show up and who wait a long time to see them. she usually lets the more energetic members take over for her and she always tries to answer every fan's request.
tsuta loves everything about meeting with fans. she loves holding hands with them and hugging them and she loves recieving gifts from them. she's always doing fanservice for them, she does that usually but at fan events it just increases into maximum overdrive. she loves trv's female fans and swears she'll be their boyfriend for life. and when someone asks "what about male fans???" she'll respond with "i'll be their boyfriend too."
how does ya girl like to interact with fans? are they very interactive in person or are they more interactive through a screen? how do they usually behave at fansigns and fanmeets?
mei xie is better at fansigns than fanmeets, she likes the one-on-one interaction for short periods of time. she memorizes everyone's faces and tries to remember their names. if they're young and the fanmeet is on a school day, she'll scold them for not being in school. at fanmeets, she always tries to bring food for the fans that show up and who wait a long time to see them. she usually lets the more energetic members take over for her and she always tries to answer every fan's request.
tsuta loves everything about meeting with fans. she loves holding hands with them and hugging them and she loves recieving gifts from them. she's always doing fanservice for them, she does that usually but at fan events it just increases into maximum overdrive. she loves trv's female fans and swears she'll be their boyfriend for life. and when someone asks "what about male fans???" she'll respond with "i'll be their boyfriend too."
yall should give me ur girls astrological placements. lemme see those birth charts
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