Finally making up my mind, I pushed the button, the button that will decide my fate- our fate.

 

 

"Just a moment" I heard you shout on the other side, my heart pumped hard, see? You still have that effect on me, I missed you, I still do.

 

 

Then the door opened, I can see shock in your face, your face that never changed for the past 2 months.You were not talking, as if you'd just seen a ghost, I would have laughed if this was in September, but no, it's December now. How I wish I could go back to that month.

 

 

"H-Hi" I uttered out, my eyes not meeting yours, hah, as if you wanted me to. But you weren't talking, so I took it as a cue to speak up, that's my purpose of being here anyways.

 

 

"Taeyeon-ah" I started, I saw you blink, making me want to pinch you for the cuteness, but no, we're not in September. "I- I'm sorry" I muttered out, I knew you heard me, for your eyes widened up, a bit. "I'm sorry for that day, the day that I left the roses you gave me in my office and let it wilt"

 

 

"I've forgotten that already Sooyeon" You finally spoke, making my eyes meet yours, I saw you smiling at me, so I did the same, but it died out as soon as it came.

 

 

"I'm sorry for that September night..." i muttered, your face already unreadable, maybe you also remembered that horrible memory? That memory of September 30th of this year,of the year 2014. That's where it all ended, oh how I wish to go back in September

 

 

-----

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I'm sorry for not giving you a chance to explain yourself and let anger take the best of me" I cried looking down the floor, I couldn't bring myself to look at you, I'm ashamed of myself. "Taeyeon-ah, can we go back to September?" I asked, or pleaded might be the perfect word. "I swear to take care of you better, just please, please let me in once more." I cried out. "I promise not to leave you alone again."

 

 

"Sooyeon, I-" You were speaking but was interrupted by a voice too bubbly to my liking.

 

 

"Taetae" a woman squealed and wrapped her arms around your waist, I was stunned, petrified of the thought that came to my mind. "Who is she?" She asked, pointing at me, then I saw a ring on her finger, it was identical to what you were wearing... No....it couldn't be.

 

 

"Oh, Fany, this is-" I was the one who interrupted this time.

 

 

"I'm just lost, sorry for the inconvenience" I managed to blurt out, then, I did it again, I ran away, breaking my promise to you one more time. I heard you calling my name, asking me to come back, but I was already at my car, it's too late now isn't it? I'm too late.

 

 

I sped up, past through red lights, through cars honking in a distance.

 

 

A thought then came when I saw a truck on the other lane. If all I'll ever do is run, then, maybe I should run away forever. 

 

I swerved my car on the right, with a small smile in my face as tears streamed down, I welcomed the blinding light that seemed to accept me wholly. I heard noises at a distance, that's when everything turned black.

 

 

--------

 

 

Beep beep beep beep...

 

 

Continuous sounds I heard with my eyes shut, I couldn't move, and I barely managed to open my eyes, only to be met by a white ceiling, I tried to move my head down, there I saw a head leaning in the bed, beside medical apparatuses that I couldn't pinpoint the names. I lifted up my hand, little by little, then the figure stirred and raised her face, there I saw my sister's face- a swollen and shocked face, making a faint chuckle escape my lips.

 

 

"You look stupid Krys" I managed to say, my voice kind of hoarse, what happened anyway? I waited for your comeback but none came, you were still staring at me, as if you'd just seen a pig flying. "Hey-"

 

 

"Omy! Unnie!" You squealed and wrapped me in a suffocating hug. I was about to shoo you off when I felt my shoulder getting wet, you were crying, I hated seeing you cry so I didn't move, except my hand rubbed your back gently. "I...we thought..." You said in between sobs. "We thought you'll be sleeping here forever" 

 

 

"What do you mean?" I asked "What happened?"

 

 

"You don't remember?" You asked, now calmer,making me shake my head slightly. "You got into an accident" you simply stated, as if not wanting to remind yourself.

 

 

"I..." Then it all came back. Taeyeon... That 'Fany'...Ring...Run...Truck. "So I failed huh" I muttered, but unfortunately, my dear sister heard me.

 

 

"What are you saying?! So it's true that you were the one at fault?!" You screamed, a voice full of anger and frustration. I just kept mum, not wanting to aggravate you more. "You don't know how worried we were" you told me, tears again forming on your eyes. "You don't know how Taeyeon unnie cared for you in a vegetative state, how she stayed here everynight looking after you and waiting for you to wake up, how she cried herself to sleep everytime we heard of your situation getting worse, and how she blamed herself of what happened to you"

 

 

"Taeyeon? Why would she do that?" I asked, there's no way that she will, especially not to a woman who couldn't even keep promises.

 

 

"She's your girlfriend, why would she not?" You asked, as if it was the most obvious thing on earth.

 

"She's not-" I was about to deny when the door opened, revealing a Taeyeon who was carrying a bouquet of roses, I can see that she hasn't noticed my state yet.

 

"Oh, Soojung? I thought you already went home, you may rest now, I'll take care of things here" she said, as if it's a normal thing. "I'll inform you if she ever wakes up" she said, tending the flowers and putting them in a vase.

 

 

"About that-"

 

 

"I see that you haven't changed yet, Kim Taeyeon" I spoke, I saw her tense up and slowly face me. "What are you doing here?" I asked sadly, looking down as I felt tears building up. "You shouldn't-" then I felt arms wrap around my body, I struggled at first, till I relaxed on your hold, the one I missed most.

 

 

"I'll leave you two" I heard Krystal excuse herself, followed by the opening and closing of the door.

 

 

"I thought I'll grow old alone" you joked. "We were losing hope as months of waiting turned to years"

 

 

"What? Years?" I asked, backing away to see your tear stained face nod. "How many?" 

 

 

"Three" you said, pain visible on your face. "I thought I'll never hear your voice again" you fessed up, covering your face. "I won't be able to forgive myself if that ever happened" then you cried, the one I hated the most to hear. I brought my hand up, almost touching yours, when I saw the ring around your finger.

 

 

"You should go Taeyeon" I told you, making you raise your head up and face me, asking of what I was saying. "Your wife might've been waiting for you, I cannot let her bear anger towards you visiting me"

 

 

"Who?" You asked,blinking in...surprise? "I got married?" You asked again, and I nodded, pointing at your finger. "To whom?" You asked, are you torturing me?

 

 

"To that 'Fany'" bitterness filling my voice, there was a moment of silence, and was disrupted by your ahjumma laugh, it was my turn to look at you with curious eyes.

 

 

"Why would I?" You asked in between laughter, then I pointed at your finger, making your sight follow, then your laughter just leveled up more. I felt myself frown, are you mocking me?

 

 

"Yah, leave. Now" I said coldly, making your fits stop and stare at me seriously 

 

 

"Are you serious?" You asked, wiping tears of laughter off your face.

 

 

"Yes, so you'd better-" then it came, the kiss I was deprived of, I was about to kiss back when I remembered that this is wrong, so I pushed you off. "Your wife, I don't want to be the reason of a fight betwen you two" I muttered

 

 

"I don't have a wife" you let out, then you lifted up your finger, showing me the ring. "It's on my index finger, not in the ring" you stated matter of factly, I took some time to process the thought, what?

 

 

"What?" I said, flustered as it dawned me. "Stupid Jung Sooyeon" I cursed at myself under my breathe then I heard her laugh again.

 

 

"Fany was the bestfriend I kept on talking to you about back then, and the one I was talking with when you came home that night" I just stared at your face that showcased a sincere smile for what you just shared. No way, why was I so stupid? "And besides, I have someone I love already" you added, earning a frown from me.

 

 

"M-may I ask who that is?" I asked, maybe I really am too late, bless my stupidness.

 

 

"You" I heard you answer, making me look up again, eyes widened up as I saw your goofy grin.

 

 

"So...we can go back to September?" I asked with a voice full of hope.

 

 

"No" then I heard my world crashing down. "I don't need to go back to the past if I already have my future with me"