This is the story's Chapter-by-Chapter Author Commentary on reasons why I put those things in the story and where I got them.

First, I'll introduce the two main characters of this story and their personalities, etc.

Myoui Mina

• I chose her as protagonist because I ship them SO MUCH to the point that I hate the lack of contact even though they force it on shows.
• Represents me although we're almost the opposite (some matching like always ignored, cool and calm, "doesn't seek fun in life" when it comes to love) when it comes to personality but we do have the same hobbies and I like her versatility on roles she could do due to her silent nature.
• Speaks a lot in her mind, doesn't say much verbally. Noisy when she's interested in the subject matter.
• So much coincidental things in my real life could be connected to her and Chaeyoung.
• Passive personality (like me)

Son Chaeyoung

• Represents my biggest high school crush (but my crush looks like Tzuyu though)
• Also represents young love, curiosity and a young person trying to look mature through her actions and decisions but the ways she try to look like one just make her look immature

Why 1st person view?

The reason why I chose the first person view in the perspective of Mina is because I wanted the viewer to feel what Mina feels (of course) and going way more meta by making readers feel the ambiguity of each person's actions and motives especially when it comes to the truth. This is the main trouble or at least one of the main troubles of interacting with people in real life - only you can understand yourself and same for the other parties. You also only know if you're saying the truth. In this way I could make the readers think and imagine what might be going through each of their heads. From their lines and to small actions, the reader can guess where the story is going to.

Chapter Titles/What role does coffee bring in to the story?

Mina is basically a coffee addict and Chaeyoung is her coffee. Coffee tastes bitter. Some want to add a little sugar, creamer or anything else that they want to put in there. In this case, it's bittersweet. Representing her relationship with Chaeyoung. She still goes back to her even though it hurts already. It became a pleasure for her to get hurt by Chaeyoung, it feels good to her when she gets a taste of Chaeyoung's "sweetness" and through this she is supplied with "caffeine" making her feel alive and energized.

Caffeine's most known side-effects are faster heart rate (which Chaeyoung gives), adrenaline rush (Chaeyoung being Mina's muse, the reason why she does her best) and insomnia (Mina can't sleep thinking of her. Thinking of their past, the present and the possible future).

And in my experience, drinking coffee makes you have bad strength performances (fake stamina) and sleep. And what happens when those things happen? You regret them, right? You don't want to experience it again or at least avoid it. At this point, withdrawal is bound to happen.

Withdrawal symptoms of coffee addiction include lethargy (lack of energy and enthusiasm), sleepiness, and depression all of which Mina experiences.

And of course, Mina couldn't resist the temptation of another cup of coffee, making her go back to Chaeyoung.

What's the reason for the opening dialogues at the start of the chapter?

These were originally intended to be dialogues that were open for interpretations on who is speaking the line. It also opens the idea of what's going to happen in the chapter.

CHAPTER EXPLANATIONS

• Chapter 1: Brewing

Started the chapter with the classic quote from Mina's MILK interview during SIXTEEN. The foundation of this MiChaeng ship. 

I play a lot of Counter-Strike so I put this one here. Mina is playing on de_mirage specifically. There's not much to be explained here. Until we get to the bathroom part. To open the "how I got to write this by looking at my own life", I'll share how I totally fell in love with my "Chaeng".

I met her through our school's interschool group dance competition and we were in the same team. Like I told you before, she looked like/resembled Tzuyu (and this was before SIXTEEN even happened). She had the figure, some of the facial features, the poise and the personality. Even the bluntness. I thought that I was only ing on her, oh how I wish this was the case. It all started when I dreamed about her one time. I'll cut it down to this: We had in the bathroom, my bathroom which was also the first thing I saw in the morning. I woke up doubting myself and questioning my subconscious. I even went crazier when I saw the bathroom lit before my eyes because taking a bath was the first thing I do in the morning. And I remember every exact detail in that dream. The whole day I was screaming both internally and externally, my mind did me dirty. Dirty real good. From this experience though, I learned that is more than pleasure and is actually a connection. A view of ersion can be twisted in a nice way. A view of beauty before one's eyes; the connection between you and the person that makes you comfortable with each other . I realized also that day that the ones that I usually protect from malice and ersion were the ones I love. And that was it, I actually loved her.

That's what I wanted to show in this chapter. as a form of connection and not as something dirty. In this way I also wanted to attack the reader's morality, whether they'll think Chaeyoung should be ualized or adored chastely.

• Chapter 2: Mixing

​I actually just made up the opening dialogue. I couldn't think of anything. I'm sorry for being fraudulent LOL.

Most of the stuff in this chapter are fictional, the idea was taken from all the mall-ing I did with "Chaeng" and our friends. My confessions have never been accepted by a girl during my whole high school life, in case you're wondering.

The King of Fighters part was actually the part where Mina was showing her noisy side whenever she's doing something she's really into, in this situation, video games. I'm sorry if you didn't understand most of the fighting game terminologies but that was the point. No one could understand her but only herself. Me and "Chaeng" played a lot in the arcade with our crew.

Most of the dialogue of Mina during the part where they go home actually crossed my mind whenever me and Chaeng would go home together. We took the same route on the way home, that's why we went together all the time. The night sky would just match her beauty and sillhouette. Everything I wrote in that part, I really spoke those words in my head during those moments we were alone together. That also counts the part where it doesn't feel that those moments would last long.

• Chapter 3: Drinking

The opening dialogue was taken from Mina's part on Twice TV 2 Episode 5 iirc.

This part was almost all fictional except for karaoke songs part. Coincidentally, Mina's go-to karaoke song is "Almost Is Never Enough" and Chaeyoung sang "Gravity" in her V-App. Both were "Chaeng"'s songs and she sang those songs every time we went to the karaoke. Every time I hear those songs, I hear her and I get flashbacks of her singing it beautifully. It still hurts until now.

• Chapter 4: Caffeine

The opening dialogue was taken from one of the Twice's Elegant Private Life episodes where Chaeyoung was obsessed with kissing because she was curious. Totally giving out that this chapter had a kiss. I actually thought of this chapter already beforehand during the establishment of the fanfic's storyline.

This chapter was entirely a fantasy in my head except for the Mina's ex-boyfriend part and Chaeyoung's low-key having a boyfriend at school where she's kinda new to. Chaeyoung's cellphone wallpaper gave out a very obvious hint that Chaeyoung might be dating someone else, a man.

Anyways, to the story behind that story. I have a friend who's like a cuter and prettier version of Umji so let's call her that and a "friend" who's the biggest fuccboi in our school. Fuccboi is an old student and Umji was a new student that time and many people were eyeing on her. Even though her friends warned her that the fuccboi was a total player, she still went into a relationship with him. A lot of things happened between them and is one of those things. It's okay to have but fuccboi bragged about it in our group of friends a lot as if his masculinity was measured by the amount of women he had with. I felt really bad Umji because she was the one at disadvantage because the privacy of their relationship was being exposed. One time he bragged about having a lot of ual with her, it happened that she was behind us with her friends and I felt really, really bad for her. My friends in the same group hate the guy because of that reason too.

I wanted to put something actually something to ponder about related to my age bracket.

• Chapter 5: Sleepless Night

The opening dialogue came from Like A Fool, Mina's first verse and the chorus.

This chapter was inspired by me and my friend's romantic antics that we do as a team, and of course only mine went tragic.

My attempt on doing one was a promposal during prom season. The plan was supposed to be me giving her (my ex-best friend who resembled Sojin) chocolates and a bouquet of flowers and the words "Can I take you to prom?" being held by my friends letter-by-letter on the quadrangle. She said yes but this time she was actually flirting with the fuccboi even though I asked her if she was flirting with him the night before the big day. She was manipulative and took advantage that I liked her. During November 2014, I fell in love with "Chaeng" but she was too attached to her ex that's why I gave up and tried my luck on "Sojin". I was actually gonna kill myself after prom but a picture of Moon Hyuna convinced me to keep on living. It was too cute. Anyways, she got mad at me that day until the night before the prom night, telling me that she's sorry if she couldn't be with me during the whole night even though I thought that she dropped the idea of having me as a prom date. She was definitely a manipulative (sorry for the language but she is who she is).

In this chapter, I wanted to show Chaeyoung acting mature but actually showing her immature side due to this. She feared the media and wanted "the best" for them while she actually loves Mina and only using the nameless guy as a proxy for her to be safe from accusations. For me at least, love is when you're in trouble yet still want each other but instead of accepting the situation as it is, you work around it. She's actually the one keeping herself in her comfort zone while Mina reaches out of her own comfort zone. It was also a nice 4th wall breaking by relating real-life articles and how it would affect them since that article was written in like early February or something.

• Chapter 6: The Regret

I felt like Cheer Up lyrics really fitted the chapter.

Mina was actually starting to go through "withdrawal" at this point. Her monologue was taken from me when I got rejected by "Chaeng" on December 18, 2015. She was actually the reason why I got in our school's dance team. She brought it up during early 2015 that I should join the team but I told her that everyone was strong and I wouldn't fit but she still believed in my skill. I was part of the school's debate team during that time though so I really didn't have the time. The next school year on the same year, the dance team held an audition and my friend grabbed me by the arm while "Chaeng" and friends were in the restroom. I resisted my friend's attempt to literally drag me to the auditions for like 10 minutes and "Chaeng" went out and said "You should join." with a thumbs up. I immediately remembered the time where she told me I should join and we were walking down the sidewalk of the mall at that night. That night felt really intimate. So yeah, I easily got persuaded with three words and a smile on her face and stopped resisting acting like I still didn't want to join. Luckily, I studied The Ark's Intro choreography (or at least a part of it) during summer. I got accepted.

Since then, she was my muse. She was the reason why I danced. Every time I felt weak, I thought of her and worked harder. My friend would go shout "Go P*****e!" at me and I would shout the same thing at him except with his girlfriend's name and we would be fired up. I waited for her "good luck" every time we had a competition coming and it really insipred me.

Ever since she rejected me, I actually improved at dancing but this time, it felt really empty. I didn't know where to pull my energy from whenever I felt really tired. It felt like I had no reason to dance but I still loved doing it. There was even a time I told my friend to shout "Go Mina!" at me so I could get fired up. I tried to improve for myself and only myself but it really, really felt empty.

"Stitches" was also part of this and this was one of her songs too. I really like hurting myself, don't I?

The "Trained. Debuted." part actually refers to the days me and "Chaeng" were in one team.

The part was really intended to go in the story and was in the storyline. It's purpose was to be artistic. Again, I was attacking the reader's morality if the reader would ualize it or understand the situation they were both in to be desperate to do that and what drived them to go in even though Mina as we know, is pure. The part where they pulled back was my representation of one finding oneself again. A purpose renewed.

Nayeon represents my teammate who's kinda snaking me because she resembled Nayeon a little and Jungyeon represents her boyfriend who is actually my close friend (don't worry, I don't give in to the snaking). I'm a good friend so I don't meddle with their business. Sana represents the girl who "Jungyeon" replaced in "Nayeon"'s place during the period of their break-up last school year but they went back together during the same year. They're strong and their relationship is a lot like 2Yeon.

• Chapter 7: Withdrawal

The opening dialogue is the English translation of "Precious Love"'s first verse to the first chorus. Coincidentally, Chaeyoung sang the first three lines which fitted perfectly for her feelings for Mina in this story.

I actually talked eye-to-eye with "Chaeng" last school year. I loved looking at her eyes deeply. I was trying to make my feelings for her obvious that time.

Me and my friends have a running joke that every time I try to go for a girl, someone else in the circle of friends finds a girl and is actually successful in winning her heart while I sulk due to the heartbreak.

Okay, so the whole "Tuesday Rain" theme that started in this chapter was me and "Chaeng" eating street food after our training (so it was night time then) and she asked me if I wanted to come with her go home since it was going to rain. I didn't have an umbrella but she did so she let me hold it for her so that we won't get wet from the rain. It was pretty romantic though, it was a moment of a lifetime. I knew she had a boyfriend that time so I never got my hopes up, it was only for the greater good of her and the enjoyment of my heart. The rain got so hard that it was blowing in all directions, rendering the umbrella useless. We went to the mall to change clothes and wait for the rain to get weaker. The driver of the ride we got in was pretty messed up though. He pressed the gas while she was going down the jeep which made me held her hand tighter as I assisted her on going down. The whole dialogue about Chaeyoung's sickness actually happened. She had pneumonia like 2 weeks before that night and she said that and I said that inside me too. She had a paper bag that got drenched so I asked her if I could take her to her place so I could assist her with carrying all of her bags and she rejected it. She crumpled the paper bag and fit it inside her backpack. I was amazed too. Anyways the rain got calmer and it was okay for her to actually go alone since it was only drizzling. She really pushed that I shouldn't take her to her home and went alone though.

I went home and asked my friend (who is an iKONIC lmao) if she still has a boyfriend so that I could hold on to my feelings and not do something stupid but she actually told me that she broke up with her boyfriend (the ex she was attached to, she actually went back together with him before that month) and I checked her Facebook page and it was true. I jammed to Day6's "Congratulations" the whole night and went crazy and sad. Because it was the only time to push my last chance. Which leads us to...

• Chapter 8: Addiction

The opening dialogue came from Like A Fool, Mina's bridge.

The monologues really came from me. I was really going crazy for her that time. It got really hard for me to keep holding in my feelings for her and since I knew I was gonna get rejected, the silver lining for me was that I wouldn't carry something so heavy in my heart after I say it. Several chances to say it came but I became suddenly mute. And this is coming from a debater who speaks a lot. I knew what the consequences were and thought that "This is our last year together anyway and I could still restore our friendship in the span of three months." I held it in until the day of our Christmas party, December 18, 2015. We had our last mall-ing together and also our last karaoke session together. I treasured those moments. It didn't help that she looked so stunning that day. I'm really good at hiding my feelings and expressions for people but the burden of carrying those feelings around just was too much for me to handle. We went down in front of her subdivision together even though the ride was going to her place, from there she knew something was wrong. I held her hand after we waved good bye and said "I have been wanting to say this for a long time, but I really like you." I was feeling what Mina felt and also thought the same things too. I was going dizzy. She told me that she really hasn't moved on from her ex and won't date anyone from our school ending her statement with the words "It's okay, bro." It really hurt a lot. And the song "Free-hage" played in my head on the way home. I blasted GOT7's "Confession Song" and yes, I salt my own wounds.

Mina roaming in the streets is actually me every time I stroll down the streets, malls and every time I pass by a karaoke hub. I was immediately reminded of her. I keep telling myself that I'll move on and not fall in love with someone else but Mina. I actually asked "Chaeng" if she was transferring and she wasn't sure but I don't see her with the volleyball team anymore. I didn't want to see her anymore but I still kept looking for her. Up to this day. The volleyball team doesn't feel the same to look at without her. I dont want to see her again but I still keep looking for her. It's messed up right?

And also the ending? I wanted it to end like a circular plot would end except it happened with another person, that is Momo. It's exactly the same scenario as the first chapter's opening. Momo represents an old friend of mine who was with me and Chaeng in our dance group days. She is beautiful but she was still a friend but I fell in love with her after I "moved on" with "Chaeng". She loves to play Counter-Strike too. It never worked though. It was a one-sided love.

Also note how Mina still drinks coffee.

I left the ending open for interpretation of the reader but, it never happened. MiMo never happened in the fic.

Mina still wants Chaeyoung.

To wrap everything up, 80% of the story came from real life experiences and the coincidences were too convenient to not write about and MiChaeng was the perfect ship to express all of this.

Thanks for reading! I hope you guys appreciate my work as it's a mirror of my love life that will never flourish. I'll just stick to Twice and Mina. Sound's good right?