[CONTENTID1] scarcely numb and sane [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2][/CONTENTID2]

[CONTENTID3] 

i) our bonnie and clyde delusion

she comes in smokes and dreams and flurry kisses in the nape of her neck because "it's making you drown and drown even further right?" soojung will whisper dangerously to her ears and really, what seulgi feels is only adrenaline and life, energy surging into her.

more, more, more. "don't let go, soojung," she would say when she was barely breathing and soojung was her only salvation to cling into reality, her skin brushed into hers violently and their bones bumped and cracked together under the dim light of their rundown apartment soojung bought for them out of her college fees cause " college when we can live together forever here."

soojung's fingers would make her feel alive and thriving and send her to the gates of ecstasy and the highest state of euphoria when it encloses the empty gap between her thighs and she would make sure soojung feels that way too most of the times. because she is the apple of her eyes and soojung deserves all the best things in the world.

of shared cigarettes and lips tasting nicotine in each other's mouth soojung promises her "i am ready to die with you anytime, kang seulgi. you have to take me when that time comes because i'm too selfish to let you go on your own." her hand is cupped over her left jaw as hollow and dark eyes stare back at her, brown locks hanging by her face and when her palm's grip over her face hardens and her lips crushes unto her, seulgi surrenders.

"yes, soojung. we will go together and i will never leave you." her hands pushed soojung more and more to her, lips trailing and she forgets where the hell they are right now and when she realizes that she's in their bathroom, she knows it's not going to end up good.

ii) acid rain on velvet hearts

the first petal fall, and sooyoung questions if someone like kim mingyu exists because the boy in his kennedy smile and presley aura doesn't seem so. wearing that basketball jersey above lean yet toned body, he seems almost godly and sooyoung is saying this in full exaggeration.

of course she doesn't wave back to him when he waves his hand into her way, because his girlfriend is right behind her, the retired captain of the cheerleader team who's got the world in her palms while soojung barely has anything left to hold, even her life.

"don't look anymore," yeri tugs at her hand and she knows it's the sign of we're leaving because it's so ing obvious that she loves him already and they are impossible together.

she's nothing without her, and yeri is everything for her. so she lets herself being pulled away and shadowed by the warmth of her fingers lacing into hers.

when the second petal falls, she questions if this is really kim mingyu, standing in the pouring rain with no umbrella covering him and he looks less godly with no limelight above his face and only the ashen sky peering down at him.

he is walking with his head down, and she doesn't hold back from sprinting out of her room and out of her house with an umbrella in hand. she doesn't hesitate to take his hand and lace it into the open umbrella, then runs away when she sees him grasping at it before he looks up. because she doesn't want him to stand alone with the pouring rain attacking him, and she doesn't want him to see her. when she closes the door of her house tight with her back to it, she feels water on her face and long hair and she can't tell if its her own tears or the sky's grievance for mingyu's broken heart. 

she peers behind the curtains of her room and she sees him walking away with the umbrella, head now wandering to seek for his saviour. saviour? what a word she uses there. she is no saviour when she can't even save herself from him. and now that he is no longer with his goddess of a girlfriend, there is hope glinting inside of her muddy heart "will it be possible?"

it will be horrible if it is possible because you never go through the same love twice and really, their love for each other goes beyond everything she has seen and she wants something no other people had.

the third petal and sooyoung curses herself of her habit wearing bracelets in her right hand: a very distinct one in silver with an s pendant dangling from it. so when he decides to walk into her life like he owns it, what words do she need to say to cover that up?

"this is your umbrella right?" 

 she wants to pull on her bracelet so it will break apart and this will all be history. 

"no," she looks up to him who stares at her steadily yet at the same time. a little bit of warmth and longing because "you saw me walking in the rain alone with hunched shoulders and you came for me."

"no, it's not mine, sorry."

he purses his lips for awhile. "you did this also two years ago, sooyoung," the way he uttered her name is so fluid and gentle and really, she should be walking home already now. "i remember."

 "why are you lying to me?" she flinches when he takes a step forward as if he's going to take her hand, his face confused and for her everything is too dramatic. someone as high and godly as him doesn't need to take her kindness so seriously.

she can hear whispers and murmurs and she hates this all. 

"you know, it's just a small help. anyone would do that kind of th