Chapter 8: they never know

Nothing else can break my heart like
True love, true love

Running through the dark night, Jimin wishes the teacher’s dormitories aren’t so damn far from the main school campus. His feet carries him as fast as they can but he still feels that he could be, should be faster.

When he reaches the cafeteria, he sees a lone figure crouching in a corner, face buried in his folded arms. Jimin winces at this sight, his face crumpled in overwhelming emotions. He walks over, careful not to make any noise. He gently sinks onto his knees and kneels down beside the boy, placing a comforting hand on his trembling shoulder. The boy jumps, a soft whimper escaping his lips.

“It’s me,” he assures and smiles at the boy. The smile does not reach his eyes as he takes in the streak of tears running down his best friend’s face and the way his lips wobble as he struggles to speak.

“H-help me,” Jungkook chokes out while his shirt, tugging at the hems too harshly. He looks up with glistening eyes, staring straight at Jimin. “It feels like my heart is being ripped into a million pieces. Why does it hurt so badly?” he gushes in a shaky voice, tears starting to spill over his damp lashes again. Jimin is at a complete loss of what to do, words stuck painfully in his throat as he continues watching his best friend having a mental breakdown in front of his own eyes.

After all, it has always been Jungkook comforting him, never the other way round.

Jungkook had always been living behind a wall of emotions, his aloof and passive nature barricading his true feelings. All his life, only Jimin had been able to climb past his walls. To others, he might seem like a person with an ice heart and someone who is incapable of feelings because of the permanent scowl on his face and his introverted nature but to Jimin, Jungkook is a completely different story. To Jimin Jungkook is his best friend with an adorable bunny smile, his childhood companion who has a soft spot for puppies, the shoulder he can always lean on. Jungkook usually does not let anyone past his walls but when he does, the wall falls quickly and completely.

Jimin saw all of his walls crumbling down when Kim Taehyung entered his life. There was something special about Taehyung that melted Jungkook’s heart and flooded him with all kinds of emotions. His smile, his body language, the way he squirmed whenever Taehyung was mentioned, it’s all those little signs that pieced up into a bigger picture and it didn't take long for Jimin to realise that Jungkook is smitten for the boy.

Jungkook had never fallen for anyone but when he did, he fell hard and landed harder.

Which is why Jimin feels like his heart is being shredded and torn apart as he watches his best friend break down in his arms. He wants to tell Jungkook that it’s okay, he wants to promise that time will heal all wounds, but deep down he knows that the bruises which came along with falling in love with Taehyung will never fade with time.

Instead he just holds Jungkook tightly and hopes that this will alleviate the pain, even by the smallest bit.

He remembers receiving the call from Jungkook and hearing frenzied breathing on the other end. After a few seconds, he finally heard Jungkook speaking, but it came out in croaks as if he was suffocating.

“Hyung, I’m outside the dance studio and I-I see Taehyung.”

What followed next almost caused him to drop his phone.

“I think-think he confessed to the dance captain and now they’re hugging. I saw everything-every-thing.”

“I thought he loved me too,” Jungkook says and smiles wryly as they walk back to the dorms in the night while staring at the bright moon, breaking the stagnant silence between both of the boys. Jimin just wraps his arm around the younger boy and pulls him in for a side hug.

They finally arrive in front of Jungkook's shared room and he digs through his pockets to find his keys but the frown on his face tells that he forgot them again. Jimin sees light peeking from the crack below the door and knocks on the door. Soon enough, it swings open and Taehyung sticks his head out.

“Jungkook!” he exclaims, face lighting up with relief, “I was wondering where you were. You didn’t answer your phone and I was so worried.” The boy just smiles and mutters an apology. Watching his best friend putting on a strong front, Jimin feels something stab at his heart again and he almost grimaces. Taehyung opens the door wider and lets them in.

However, Jimin certainly did not expect to see Jung Hoseok, the dance captain, his dance captain, sitting cross-legged on the couch. When he sees them, he immediately gets up and greets them with a bright smile.

“Hi, fancy seeing you here Jimin,” he says and smiles friendlily at him. Jimin returns the smile but he feels his stomach churning. Taehyung goes to Hoseok’s side and sneaks an arm around his waist, pulling the latter closer to himself.

“I know this is really unexpected but this is my boyfriend, Hoseok. We recently started going out,” he beams and looks up at the senior, sharing the same affectionate gaze. Jimin grips onto Jungkook’s arm tighter, giving it a tight squeeze.

“Congrats Tae, I’m happy for you,” Jungkook mutters and shrugs Jimin’s hand off before rushing off into his room, closing the door behind him with a loud slam.

Taehyung glances at the shut door and looks over to Hoseok with a pout. “I’m sorry, he’s not like this usually,” he says and his boyfriend ruffles his hair adoringly.

“He had a rough day,” Jimin explains, “I’ll leave now. Good night.” He bows his head slightly and heads for the door.

“I’ll leave now too babe. Take care of yourself, and Jungkook too,” Hoseok says behind him and Jimin freezes when he hears the dance captain kissing Taehyung, making a loud smooching sound. They walk together to the stairs in awkward silence.

“How did you meet Taehyung?” Jimin finally asks. Hoseok barks with laughter at the question.

“We met through our friends. Are you very close to him, Jimin?” Hoseok eyes him with curiosity. Jimin shakes his head.

“Not really, but he’s a lovely friend. Look after him well, hyung,” he answers and waves goodbye to the senior when he reaches his floor. The latter merely nods with a smile.

“See you in practice!” he shouts and Jimin waves for one last time before turning towards his room. As soon as he enters it, he lets himself drop to the floor.

His mind drifts away to Jungkook and Taehyung and suddenly, the thought of an unrequited love scares him so much. He could be Jungkook any time, sitting down on the floor crying his heart out, waiting for someone to love him back. He could be Jungkook now, the person he loves never looking at him the same way he looks at that person. He could be Jungkook in the future, when the person he has fallen heads over heels in love with decides to love another person.

Before he knows it, he picks up his phone with shivering hands and dials a familiar number, waiting for the other side to pick up the call.

The call finally gets through after the seventh ring and he feels a surge of emotions when he hears a scratchy “Hello?”

Jimin takes in a deep breath before he whispers, “Do you love me?”

Silence follows, just as he expected. In this silence, Jimin hears his own erratic heartbeat, feels the tears forming and crosses his fingers while waiting for an answer.

“Is this a joke, Jimin?”

In that sentence, he thinks he has found his answer and he feels everything in himself falling apart.

“Can I meet you behind your dorm?” he manages to say despite the huge lump in his throat.

He finds himself standing in the cold night, forgetting his jacket because of how impatient he was to run towards the stone building. He promises himself not to cry but his vision is already blurry when fifteen minutes has passed and the person he is dying to see has still not appeared.

Maybe I’m just being dumb again.

Suddenly, he feels a jacket being pressed into his skin and this startles him, knocking all the air out of his lungs. He sputters and starts coughing violently. He looks up to see warm hazel eyes staring back at him.

Jimin is breathless as he stares at him, the soft light from the nearby lamp casting a soft glow on him and highlighting the faint pink dusting his cheeks. “You really came,” he chuckles and lets his gaze drop to his shoes, staring holes into them, “I thought you were joking with me.”

The younger boy lets out a horrified gasp. “Is that all I am to you? Is everything I say a joke?” He raises a fist and lands a soft punch against narrow shoulders, hot tears struggling to escape from his eyes. “Here I am, trying to confess to you because I’m crazy over you, hyung, and there you are, laughing at how pathetic I am? I guess that’s all I am to you, I guess…” his voice trails off when the tears finally break through and form a steady stream.

Warm arms wrap around him and he feels soft lips being pressed into his hair. “Silly brat,” Yoongi mumbles and embraces him tighter.

“Answer me, answer me,” Jimin cries and sobs into his shoulder.

“A billion times yes, Park Jimin.”

Jimin cries harder at this but this time, it isn’t because his heart is being dropped and broken into a thousand tiny shards.

This time, it feels as if his heart is exploding like the fireworks on the fourth of July.

This time, he can finally erase the boundaries between both of them and say that Min Yoongi is in love with him too.

a/n: i dropped it i dropped the bomb or should i say two bombs.

don't kill me pls.

i've been planning for this chapter for a long time and writing it makes me feel so relieved.

and happy 3rd anniversary bts, the 7 dorks who have taken over my life. thank you for being so amazing always, you inspire me so much. ♡

as always, i welcome comments with open arms! (≧∇≦*)

see you next time~