Reviewed by: gaksitalGaksital

Title: 3/5

I'd say your title is very original. I quite like how it does connect with the theme of your story, which is friendship. I particularly like how you start every chapter with a word beginning with the letter ‘F’ and how that chapter pertains to the meaning of that word that you chose.

In any case ,there is something that does not attract me to the title. I’m not quite sure what it is. I suppose at first glance, the word ‘cursed’ insinuates that the letter ‘F’ may be...you know, that curse word we tend avoid, haha.  

I would suggest that you swap ‘Cursed’ for something else. ‘Dreaded Letter F’ might be one or even ‘The Unlucky Letter F’. It’s entirely up to you, of course. This is just my opinion.  

Description/Foreword: 7/10

Wow, your description and foreword is very neat. It has nice font and the size isn’t too large or two big. Gakistal screamed ‘Bingo!’ while I read it. The only that brings your marks down is your grammar in the description. It needs a bit of cleaning up. I understand that English is not your first language, my dear, but I assume you requested this review so as to improve your knowledge of English. Am I right in that? I’ll go into more detail on which areas you might need to brush up on in the grammar section below.  

There is nothing drastic about your errors in the description. You seem to avoid the use of commas and go for full stops instead. Full stops are find but sometimes they can be abrupt and make your summary seem more like a sharp textbook when reading rather than a narrative type of story. Since you are going for such an emotional theme, the use of commas will be fine. There are plenty of workshops here on AFF that specify where you can use commas.

I suggest you look into some workshops for some tips.

Also, you like using pauses a lot -- just remember that it should not be a capital letter when you use a pause. Another thing you should remember that in English, we only use three dots when describing a pause in the midst of a sentence, not two or four. I see that in some of your chapters, you ended up using two dots or four. It should only be three.   The same rule applies to anything that follows a colon or a semicolon (e.g. : or ;)  

For example:   “Tears...Happiness...Struggles” -- “Tears...happiness...struggles.”   

Plot: 21/25  

Actually, I’m a er for bromance stories or any story that reflects on the theme of friendship/family. I think it’s a nice change on AFF, away from all those cliched romance stories. I rarely read stories on AFF because the quality of plots has dropped (solely my opinion). However, it’s nice to see that authors still strive to write plots that revolve around themes more relatable -- to me anyway.  

Hanbin and Jiwon’s friendship is something precious, though I half wanted to see more moments of them being friends than the conflict that came after chapter 1. You could just add a few fragments of memories here and there just to familiarise the reader, and hence, increase sympathy for the characters. The following chapters after chapter 1 result in a lot of conflict and it is almost unbearable to see the Hanbin getting rejected after every attempt he tries to reconcile with Jiwon.  

The ending caught me by surprise, haha. I actually thought you killed off one of the major characters but then again, we all realise how much we hurt someone when there’s a life on the line, right? I’m just confused though -- Jiwon and Hanbin were good friends for such a long time yet Jiwon never knew that he suffered from Haemophilia?  

The geneticist in me needs to let his out -- haemophilia is not a disease boys acquire over time. They are born with it. Basically, they’re missing the gene that helps stop blood flow after a scratch/cut/etc. It’s just something to be aware of when you’re writing future things. It’s important to do a bit of background research just so you