Time for a little treat for you JoonMin shippers :3

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I can't sleep at night, and when I do, I dream of you. In my dreams it is all so simple. You and I are together, everything is going to be all right. Easy. But when I am awake the weight of all that's between us and all that divides us lies heavily on me. Mum is nearly fully recovered, but she is fragile. Her treatment has taken more out of her than the disease. But the thought of never seeing you again is, well, it's unthinkable. I tried to come to you, but it didn't happen. I willed it with all my might, but you have cut off from me. It is only by writting this down that I can connect with you. I know I am being unfair. I wish I didn't have to choose.

Hyomin shut the book, her own heart felt heavy, troubled by something. What became of her, she wondered, the author of this diary? What happened to the boy she loved?

She was sitting in the window seat of her Dad's office reading, staring out at the winter that seemed permanently on their doorstep. The house was empty again. Her parents had gone to collect Hwayoung from the sleepover the other side of town. Getting up with the book under her arm, Hyomin wandered through the kitchen and opened the fridge.

She was halfway through making herself a sandwich when a knock on the back door startled her. Nobody comes up here without warning. It couldn't be Jaejoong -- he was away with his family. She held on to the bread knife and padded cautiously to the door.

"Who is it?" She asked slowly.

"It's Joon." His voice was low, humble-sounding.

Hyomin looked down at the bread knife, holding it behind her back, and flipped the latch on the door to open it.

Snow was falling on his scruffy brown hair and on his grey duffel coat.

"Hi," he said, rubbing his gloved hands together. He took a step forward. "I know you don't want to see me. And I understand how you must feel about me living with .. But I want to explain ..." He smiled wryly. "Do you think I could come in -- for a while?"

Hyomin bit her lip but opened the door wider. Joon looked and sounded adorable. He took a tentative step inside, brushing the snow off his hair.

Realising she was still holding the bread knife, Hyomin dropped her hand. Joon's eyes grew wide as he saw it.

"Woah. I really don't want to get on the wrong side of you, " he said, catching her eye then, grinning. His perfect teeth and his perfect mouth. The tiny lines at the corners of his eyes crinkling.

"I was holding it," she said dumbly. "When you knocked ... I wasn't going to ..."

"Attack me?" he said, smiling still. "I know that."

She raised the hand holding the knife. "I'll put this away," she said, turning towards the kitchen. "Come through."

Joon followed her to the kitchen. She pushed the breadboard with her half-made sandwich on it to the back of the counter and dropped the knife into the sink.

"I'll make some tea," she said, her back to him. "Take a seat."

As she filled the kettled Hyomin could feel his eyes on her. Once she had plugged it in and dropped a couple of teabags into the pot, she turned and drew out a chair next to him.

Joon still had his coat on, the grey wool made his eyes stand out more than ever and his hair was perfectly dishevelled. He put his still-tanned hands on the table and stared at Hyomin.

"I talked to Hyuna." He said finally. "About what she did."

Hyomin felt a familiar thud in her stomach.

"Oh god." She slumped back in her seat. "I can just imagine what she said about me," she stared angrily at him. "She's poisonous."

"She's grown up a bit," he said seriously. "She said she feels really bad."

"Hmmm." Hyomin chewed her lip. "I'll believe that when I see it."

"Well maybe you should," he said then.

"Should what?" She sat up slightly, frowning.

"See it?" He rubbed at the table with his finger.

"If I saw her ever again it would be too soon," Hyomin said firmly. "You just don't understand, Joon." She threw up her hands. "How could you? You've always been so perfect, I bet."

He waited a second before replying. "So, you've known me all my life have you? You know everything about me?"

"No..." She began, flustered. "Of course not. But look at you. You have no Achilles heel. You're untouchable."

A strange expression crossed his face but he didn't look away.

"No one is untouchable." His voice was quiet. "And not me, for sure." Hyomin watched as his eyes wandered around the kitchen, settling on a family photograph her mum had stuck on the windowsill. A much younger Hyomin, with short curly hair. Her dad, with more hair, and her mother, smiling and looking down at baby Hwayoung. His eyes lingered on it for a while, and Hyomin swallowed. Joon's family was broken. Scattered. And here she was trying to detach him from the few relatives he had. Hyomin rubbed her hands together, feeling at fault somehow.

Joon turned from the photograph and his face softened. "But it's not about that. It's not about the past. It's about the future. I've never felt this way about any girl before. I want you in my life, Hyomin. I can't stand the thought of this just ... ending." He looked up at Hyomin, holding her gaze. "And for the better or worse, Hyuna is kind of in my life too. If she apologised to you -- really apologised -- would you consider being my girlfriend?"

Would she consider being Joon's girlfriend? She nearly laughed out loud. Instead she kept her expression steady.

"I can't imagine being friends with Hyuna," she said. "After everything she did ..."

"I know it's asking a lot." He reached out and twined his fingers through hers. Hyomin didn't pull away. How could she?

"I don't know." Hyomin shook her head. "You don't know her like I do."

Joon held her hand tighter, his thumb gently massaging hers. "Worth a try, though," he said. "For us?"

Hyomin smiled then rolled her eyes. "You're good at this, aren't you?" She said. "Getting what you want?"

He pulled her a little closer to him, putting one hand out to the hair off her face.

"I just can't walk away from this," he whispered, his lips coming closer to hers. "From you."

And Hyomin felt her resolve melting away as she gazed back at those eyes, those cheekbones. As their mouths came together and she felt the softness of his lips on hers, Hyomin knew what she wanted to make him happy. They kissed each other tenderly and slowly before she forced herself to pull away.

"Okay," she said, quietly. "But not yet. I'm not ready yet."

"Cool. Whatever you want."

"It's all in the past, I guess." She said, more brightly than she felt. "I've got to put it behind me."

He smiled, and reached out to hug her to him. "You're a brave girl."

"I'm not brave. I feel like I just ... let things happen to me."

"Even better," he said playfully, pressing his lips to her cheek.

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Hyomin thought about Hyuna while she was watching TV with her dad and Hwayoung, who lay sprawled across the sofa, snuggled up to him. Hyomin tried to rationalise what she'd done. Was it just harmless schoolgirl stuff? Was she older and wiser ... and nicer now? The prospect of seeing her, talking to her, normally, was unimaginable. But maybe it would lay it all to rest. And give Joon and Hyomin a chance.

She gazed at the screen, not seeing what was playing out in front of her. Hyomin couldn't believe that she had changed. Not really. And it would take every ounce of her backbone to give her a chance.

Her mum wandered in with a pile of ironing. She dumped it on an armchair and plumped down next to Hyomin at the end of the sofa.

"You made it up with Joon, then?" she said quietly, tapping her knee.

"Kind of." Hyomin tucked her legs under her.

"What did you fight about? He seems such a nice boy."

"He is." She hesitated. "But his sister isn't."

Her mum frowned. "Who's his sister?"

"Hyuna. Kim Hyuna."

"You're joking?" Her mum said loudly, causing Hwayoung to look over at them, curiously. "Well, I can see why you'd be angry about that." She shook her head. "That silly spitefuly girl is Joon's sister?"

"Stepsister ... actually ... And Joon thinks she's changed. She's really sorry apparently." Hyomin sighed. "She wants to apologise."

Her mother raised an eyebrow. "And what do you think? What are you going to do?"

Hyomin hesitated. "I think ... I think i'm going to let her apologise," she said then, a slight smile on her face.

Her mum rubbed her knee. "That's very big of you, darling. I'm not sure I'd be quite so forgiving. But then again ... Joon might be worth it."

"Yes," Hyomin said, looking back at the television. "I think he might."

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Did my lack of updates chased you guise away? ;~;

Will i get more comments if i promise to update more frequently? :3