NOTE: This is badly written. Read my A/N about why in the end.

 

***

 

Irene woke up giggling. She dreamt about Wendy. She opened the curtains and sunlight brightened her room.

 

Today was a good day.

 

"Irene, are you alright?" Taeyeon came into her room when she heard the old woman giggles--something she wished Irene didn’t inherit from her.

 

"Yes! I am!"

 

If she said she was fine, then Taeyeon had no reason to question her.

 

"Tiffany texted me yesterday. Huh."

 

She missed the messages since Irene had read them and cleared the notifications.

 

"My MIL!"

 

Irene was still in high spirits after yesterday's event. She could not believe she and Wendy were actually together now.

 

"MILF?"

 

Irene wanted nothing to do with this conversation. She didn’t want to know what her mother was thinking about.

 

*=

 

Juhyun, the ever reliable one, was responsible for waking her family members up. It could get weird sometimes.

 

"I am a huge stone. You can't make me move."

 

Wendy was a difficult and grumpy child in the morning, but her sister knew that eventually she would wake up.

 

Her parents on the other hand were on another level. It was a miracle that she and Wendy weren’t like them when it came to waking up.

 

"Mind your own business."

 

Juhyun flinched when she heard Tiffany say those harsh words, but for some strange reason, she imagined her aunt Sooyoung saying it. She shuddered at the terrifying image.

 

While her mom lay in bed and refused to get up, Jessica was simply unmoving like a dead body.

 

But that was no problem, for Juhyun's elbow could wake even the deadest man.

 

A dolphin scream echoed in the house.

 

Jessica curled into a ball, hugging herself and groaning in pain. Juhyun’s sharp elbow stabbed her in the stomach.

 

“I feel like I just lost my left ear. Am I van Gogh now?” Tiffany mumbled to herself--or so she thought, as her hearing was barely working.

 

Thanks to their eldest daughter, they were finally prepared to leave home. They picked up Yoona on their way to the park.

 

Just as Yoona had said, she was good with (old) people. She immediately got a conversation going with Juhyun's parents.

 

"Who do you think is Juhyun’s biological mother?" Jessica asked.

 

Yoona chose Jessica. The parents were not surprised by her choice--barely anyone got it wrong when asked, but they were curious as to why people were able to guess correctly.

 

"I find too much resemblance between Aunt Tiffany and Wendy."

 

“True. They’re both loud.” Jessica agreed.

 

“Not always a bad thing though.” Yoona said.

 

Jessica and Tiffany gave her a weird look, but Yoona just blinked innocently at them.

 

Surely Yoona meant nothing bad or naughty.

 

*=

 

On the other hand, Seulgi and Hyoyeon walked to Sooyoung’s house so they could go to the park where they were having the picnic together.

 

“Hyo, it’s fine! I can drive. Just sit and take a nap.” Sooyoung refused Hyoyeon’s offer to take over the driving duty.

 

“Girls, put your seatbelts on.” Hyoyeon warned, her expression solemn.

 

Seulgi and Joy had never seen her so serious, so they followed the instructions without any opposition.

 

“Let’s go!” Sooyoung announced and started playing the danciest songs that had ever been released.

 

Hyoyeon held on to the handles in the car even more tightly, as much as she could while dancing and singing along.

 

Thirty minutes later, they got to the park in one piece, luckily.

 

“See? I’m an awesome driver.” Sooyoung boasted to herself.

 

Hyoyeon’s vomit noises could be heard from the background.

 

After she cleaned up herself, she woke up the two figures that fainted in the backseats.

 

*=

 

“I’m starving.” Tiffany groaned as she sat down at the table.

 

“When are you not?”

 

Tiffany glared at Jessica, but immediately got distracted when she placed a box of sandwiches in front of her.

 

“I love you so much!”

 

“I know.”

 

“I was talking to them.” She gestured at the sandwiches.

 

Jessica rolled her eyes. Soon her wife would get whatever was coming for her.

 

But before Tiffany could take a bite of the food, she was interrupted by Taeyeon and Irene’s arrival.

 

“Someone, please help! My mom got flattened into a piece of paper by the weight of the food we brought!”

 

“Shush, Irene! I’m fine!” Taeyeon swore she was not as fragile as people thought.

 

“I better go and save the food.” The food was Tiffany’s priority.

 

While she was away, Sooyoung showed up following the scent of the food.

 

“The kimbap looks amazing. Who made them?” Sooyoung commented and stuffed one in .

 

“Juhyun’s girlfriend, Yoona.”

 

“Oh my God.”

 

“Do you have to be so surprised at this? Juhyun is old enough to be dating.”

 

Sooyoung shook her head. Her face contorted and she spat out the kimbap she just ate.

“Whatever you do, don’t eat this crap.”

 

Jessica nodded. If her food-loving friend said it, then it must be bad.

 

But when Tiffany came back, neither of them mentioned it to her. It was like they were sharing the same brain cell at that moment to trick her.

 

“Finally, some food.”

 

Jessica observed Tiffany with interest as she ate the sandwich, waiting for her to react.

 

She waited.

 

And waited.

 

“This tastes great!”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah, I said it, it tastes great. Are you happy?”

 

Jessica was unsure about her reaction, but she would gladly take the compliment.

 

“Try this kimbap from your daughter’s girlfriend.” Sooyoung sensed that something had gone wrong with whatever she did and followed up with another attack. She would not suffer alone.

 

“Sure!”

 

It was at this moment Tiffany knew... She messed up. Curse her for loving food and missing the smirks her wife and best friend exchanged.

 

“Oh my God! What is this crap?”

 

Sooyoung and Jessica immediately asked her what was wrong, while pretending to not know about the salty mess that Yoona made.

 

Tiffany took a leave to buy some drinks--non-alcoholic, she said--to rinse out the salt in .

 

In the meantime, Taeyeon and Hyoyeon also stopped by the table and ate the kimbap.

 

“Tastes good, right?” Sooyoung and Jessica smiled at them.

 

“Uh, sure…” Taeyeon’s face was turning blue from not being able to breathe.

 

“Nope…” That was the last word Hyoyeon muttered before she passed out.

 

Grinning evilly, Jessica swore she would do everything to protect Yoona and Juhyun’s relationship.

 

*=

 

Keeping the promise of having a date at the picnic, Juhyun invited Yoona to go on a walk with her.

 

“You know, your personality isn’t what I thought.”

 

“Too different from what I show on TV?”

 

As shallow as that sounded, Juhyun nodded. It was better to come clean before things got out of hand.

 

“Then I just have to make you fall in love with my real personality.”

 

“You don’t have to do that.”

 

“I won’t be so easily discouraged.”

 

“I mean, I already like you.”

 

Juhyun didn’t look at her when she admitted her feelings, but it affected Yoona the same.

 

Yoona was dumbfounded with the turn of events. Her jaw dropped like a crocodile.

 

“Come on, let’s get back before all the food is gone.”

 

Things were going well for Yoona. She unknowingly got the blessings from Jessica and basically scored herself a girlfriend, even if they haven’t put a label on their relationship.

 

"What a walk to remember." Yoona mused.

 

*=

 

Seulgi and Joy were in a delirious state after that car ride. When they finally recovered and were able to move, the food was either claimed or gone.

 

“Mom! Where is my food...” Joy whined.

 

“Over there, help yourself!” Sooyoung pointed at the table.

 

If by helping herself, Sooyoung meant to take the food from Tiffany, then Joy would rather starve herself. She was hungry, but she wasn’t stupid enough to steal food from her.

 

Seeing this, Seulgi offered Joy whatever snacks she could salvage from other tables.

 

“It’s not much, but you can have mine.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Seulgi nodded, but her sight didn’t leave the food, not knowing that Joy had noticed her swallowing her saliva and the growls from her stomach.

 

Joy laughed at her antics, but was also moved by how Seulgi was willing to sacrifice for her.

 

“I’ll only eat the food if you let me share it with you.”

 

“Deal!”

 

In the background, a nature documentary filming was taking place.

 

“October 7, 12:50PM, a rare sighting of a bear sharing food with a chicken…” Sooyoung said in a narrator’s voice.

 

“Said chicken then split the food in half to share with the bear. Nature is amazing…” Hyoyeon followed.

 

Taeyeon was just about to die from laughter.

 

“Soo, this is child abuse. Let your kids eat!” Tiffany yelled over her mouthful of food, interrupting the atmosphere built up.

 

Of course, the adults gave food to the kids in the end, but only after they had trolled them enough.

 

“Why is this so salty?”

 

It was unfortunate that the only food left could hardly be considered edible. The salty kimbap claimed another two victims.

 

*=

 

Irene thought this outing would be a great experience with Wendy, but they only discovered their common dislike for the outdoors and how terrible their stamina was.

 

Irene and Wendy could not figure out why they were so tired, when all they had done was eat.

 

Sure, perhaps having an eating contest with their aunts was a bad idea, but if they didn’t join, the food would’ve been gone in the name of competition.

 

Then they sang and danced to some songs with everyone, namely Shake It with Juhyun.

 

They didn’t know what they were getting into. No one expected her to like that song so much.

 

“I taught her well.” Hyoyeon was wiping her tears when Juhyun danced.

 

Then they tried to overpower Tiffany’s volume during the Whisper Challenge.

 

There was no doubt Wendy was Tiffany’s daughter. The security guards even stopped by to make sure a bloody murder didn’t take place there.

 

OK, perhaps they overestimated themselves and did some crazy stuff.

 

"Nap time." Wendy said.

 

They laid down on the blanket, cuddling.

 

"You guys match well." Hyoyeon commented when she saw the two of them on the blanket, looking dead.

 

"Thanks."

 

“I didn’t mean to make that sound like a compliment.” Not that the two could hear her.

 

*=

 

"Wendy and her girlfriend are sleeping together." Hyoyeon quickly reported the latest gossip to Tiffany and Jessica.

 

The thing with Hyoyeon though… She was not the best at phrasing.

 

"What?" Tiffany exclaimed, horrified.

 

"I meant it literally! They're sleeping together, like, sleeping!"

 

She saw them on the blanket, leaning on each other in their sleep.

 

Her heart dropped.

 

If it were anyone else, Tiffany would have thought they were adorable, but her daughters were her precious babies. She couldn’t help but be protective of them. She was not sure if she trusted Irene entirely.

 

(If she knew Yoona had made those kimbap, the girl would’ve been on her list as well.)

 

Sensing her wife's inner struggle, Jessica patted her shoulder to comfort her.

 

"You gotta let Wendy make her own decisions. She is not a kid anymore."

 

Tiffany smirked and stared into her wife’s eyes.

 

"That doesn't mean I can't scare her girlfriend a little."

 

The lioness within Tiffany wasn’t gone, just tamed.

 

 

 

 

 

***

A/N

I started this a few years ago (after I wrote ch. 8, basically), but I got bored and stopped writing.

But today, when I was moving my old documents, I found this WIP that was more than 50% done (from what I can remember), so I decided to complete it hastily and post it here. I cannot give up the opportunity to write about the salty kimbap.

I forgot about all the settings in this story, so if anything doesn't make sense, please ignore it.

I would say don't expect more chapters of this, because I don't think I'll ever get motivated to write this again, sorry. 

I hope this wasn't a total disappointment of an update and that you enjoyed reading the ancient jokes in it.