Winter came with clear warnings; the cold temperature, whitening scenery, packed coffee shops, and not so busy city. It’s almost Christmas because there were a lot of trees with blinking lamps everywhere around the city. The decoration was never flat for Christmas. It’s two days before the big day that people were waiting. I was somehow too lazy to go home so I spent more time walking in the street with music flowing through my ears. Some of the café that I passed were playing romantics songs or Christmas carols.  I felt the coldness of Mr. Snow who tried to persuade me to go home soon, but I ignored it.

Time flew fast because I never tried to break it wings. I always believed that time heals. But somehow, it hadn’t proved that spell until now. I looked up and tried to stop my tears from flowing. I smiled bitterly at my miserable self. It had been 4 years since she left me. The war didn’t really give a happy ending. Jinah passed away, a week after the surgery. And our baby, fortunately she was still with me now even though her condition was not that good. There were two holes in her heart, maybe one was mine, and another one belonged to Jinah. The holes made her suffered a lot. The doctor couldn’t do a surgery until next year because Elena was too small for it.

Elena. Jinah named her that way. She said that our baby would be a very bright light for my life and the people around her. It’s true though. I would never be here if it’s not because of my baby. I smiled again and looked at some pictures that we took before Jinah left me. The three of us was running away from the hospital room and had a date in the hospital park. It was a really good memory of us. Then the other pictures of my big girl with her big tummy because Elena was still inside came out. I remembered everything just like yesterday. Then the last picture, it was the picture of my bride. It was the second when she looked at my eyes in the end of the aisle, just a second before her father gave me that small hand of his precious daughter. Jinah, I miss you.

I was lost in my own thought when suddenly my mother-in-law called me.

Where are you Kris? Still in the office?

“I am heading home now. Why?”

Elena keeps asking about you…she is crying now.

I let out a sigh. My little princess, indeed. She wouldn’t sleep without me. “Please give the phone to her mom, I’ll talk to her.”

Daddy…

“Hi El, I’ll be home soon, baby. Why are you crying?” I walked faster to reach home soon. It’s only less than 2 km now. I stopped in the crossroad, waiting for the green light.

I miss you.

I looked at nothing in front of me when suddenly I saw her, standing still, with her pretty dress, smiling. Tears were formed in my eyes and made my sight blurred. I refused to blink them because I was afraid that this beautiful scenery would disappear once I did. She was crossing the street while looking straight to my eyes, still with her best smile that I knew very well. Those clear and sparkling deep eyes that showed me she loved me, those thin lips that I never missed to kiss everyday, they were still the same as I remembered. She came closer and closer, every step she took felt like forever to me. When she was in front of me, she stopped. I tried to capture everything in front of my eyes and keep it in my memory. Every second was worth my life here. She came closer to my ears while her small hand was making its way toward my eyes, made me closed them.

I miss you. And I love you Kris.

~ The End~