Like Ripples in the Water

Keeping the Balance

                The last vestiges of moonlight were clinging to the lightening sky but it set the perfect backdrop for the almost playful combat happening behind dawn’s curtain. Pale and practically luminescent, Yoongi slipped away from his raven haired protégé with fluid ease. Jungkook’s cloak was out as he tried to corner, or at least head off, the other vampire, but it was awkward and jerky when he moved.

                “Relax, Kookie,” Yoongi encouraged, taking another sidestep that moved him safely out of the attack path. “You’re trying too hard,” he added when another lunge sent the younger vampire past him.

                Jungkook wrinkled his nose and scowled before he paused. “I keep saying you’re too fast,” he accused, giving the shorter vampire a mild glare, though a smile simmered on his lips all the same.

                “This?” Yoongi asked, a raised brow and wry grin following while he openly shrugged with both hands.

                “Don’t…” Jungkook warned as he realized what the other man was referring to. “Ack!” he flinched, coming to an abrupt halt and taking a step back when Yoongi ramped up the speed and practically appeared in front of him.

                Nearly nose to nose, he whispered, “Boo,” much to Jungkook’s flustered consternation.

                “You-” he grumbled, taking a half-hearted swing at Yoongi.

                The Rank 3 vampire could tell Jungkook was surprised when he caught his wrist instead of avoiding the attack. “-am trying to tell you you’re faster than you think you are,” he continued from the other vampire’s start. Without waiting for a response, he leaned back and pulled the other man after him, much to his continued surprise.

                “Yoongi!” he yelped, flailing once before he got his feet situated under him.

                “Just like under the Coven, you can feel things clearly if you calm your mind,” he reminded the other vampire, still racing around the yard while moving backwards. They were fortunate it was a large area but even so, he did have to keep an eye out for the odd bit of debris or the outer perimeter. That was harder than he cared to admit when Jungkook’s excited and perturbed face was just in front of him, torn between being annoyed or thoroughly enjoying this moment.

                “Slow down!” he grumble-laughed after a stumble made him almost lose his footing.

                “Speed up,” Yoongi winked, extending his other hand to offer quiet support.

                Jungkook reached for it quickly, the initial response one of pseudo-desperation, but by the quirks at the corners of his mouth, it was obvious he was enjoying it. “Show off,” he mumbled, settling more easily into the pace with both hands secured.

                It was a perfect moment. One of a handful Yoongi had experienced recently over the past two weeks. And yet… he couldn’t quite shake the slowly growing unease niggling at his gut. A flash of concern struck him, seemingly coming from nowhere, and settled just as quickly. He was getting used to them again, and so didn’t react when it happened, leaving Jungkook none the wiser. Determined, he firmed his smile and shifted, pivoting quickly and placing himself at Jungkook’s side, still holding one hand while his other braced the younger vampire’s back. “Like this,” he encouraged, increasing his speed and leading Jungkook with him.

                “Whoa!” the other man yelped, a bubbling excited laugh escaping his mouth.

                The sound was intoxicating. Yoongi wanted to hear it more and he grinned harder. “Hold on,” he whispered near Jungkook’s ear. This time, he moved them in leaps and bounds, lithely gliding from one landing point to another. His companion’s glee knew no bounds and he yelped and laughed, high on the adrenaline and excitement. “Having fun?” he asked, a crooked smile tugging at his mouth while he watched Jungkook’s profile.

                “Yes!” came the immediate response. Eyes shining and brilliant in the waning evening’s luminescence, he looked at Yoongi and asked, “Can we go faster?”

                Yoongi experienced a brief moment of hesitation. He could, but the confines of the Coven weren’t the best for really testing one’s speed. Yet how could he say no to Jungkook’s request like that, with his face the way it was and his own desire to make this moment last? He knew it was against his better judgement – and Namjoon’s wishes… er orders – but… “If you want,” he murmured back, a smile playing on his lips.

                His strength had been returning and he was fairly certain it was back to its full level, or should be soon anyway. Pulling power around him, he cloaked them in his strength and leapt, sending them bounding over the Coven walls like a sprinting deer. Jungkook’s hand tightened in his and he gasped in surprised delight. The trees near the Coven blurred by in a streak of green and brown, giving way to the lit streets and taller residential houses as they moved away from the city. Pedestrians were a flash of color in the oncoming dawn and the odd car vanished beneath them when Yoongi leapt to clear such obstacles.

                No one saw them pass. Not that Yoongi could tell, and it emboldened him further. Ahead, the slightly shimmering walls of the city beckoned and he smirked. Practically b with energy, he leapt again, eliciting another yelp from Jungkook, though this one was tinged with nervousness when he realized their destination.

                “Yoongi?” he wondered, his body tensing slightly as the wall approached.

                “It’s alright,” he promised back, even as he gathered them up to soar through the magical screen. It washed over them with the slightest of tingling sensations and the morning world opened before them, green and wide and seemingly endless.

                “Whoa…” The breathless whisper from Jungkook soothed any unease Yoongi might have felt and he looked over to see the look of sheer astonishment on his companion’s face. Sunlight was just touching the area, setting the tops of the trees alight with glowing green halos. His lack of attention on their landing point led Jungkook to warn, “Tree!”

                Abashed, the canopy of one of said trees rose up to catch them, nearly making Yoongi trip over himself. “Hang on!” he cringed with a laugh while his cloak unfurled, surrounding them in flexible fabric that formed a hardened protective dome around them. Branches snapped and the tree itself broke under the force of their momentum fueled impact. Jungkook flinched at the sounds and the impact vibrations but held tighter to Yoongi in the near total darkness. With a thought, he opened a thin latticework window to see through, letting him know when the ground was approaching. “Here we go,” he grinned, banishing the cloak as they alighted upon the ground once more, still moving swiftly.

                Jungkook’s face was a mask of wide-eyed surprise, but he didn’t question Yoongi or ask him to stop. His hands were tight on the vampire, clinging to one hand and pressing hard on the other, but there was no resistance to try and end it. That was all the permission Yoongi needed.

                Shifting his power, he dropped the field to hide them and instead projected his energy this time, warning those in front to get out of their path. In the trees, it was harder to dodge and he’d rather not have to worry about other people. Pulling Jungkook closer, he continued his almost mad dash through the rising trunks shadowed by vibrant foliage above. Animals fled with abandon and the odd creature hid or moved out of his way at their passing. Before too long, the trees themselves fell away and the horizon opened up with hills on one side, the odd village or smaller city in the distance, and the blue line of the wide expanse of the sea to their right.

                They were heading south and it felt almost as if he ran fast enough far enough, he’d be able to outrun everything but the way he was feeling right now. Yoongi wasn’t sure why he’d chosen that direction until they’d crossed nearly half the island on foot and it made him hesitate for just a second. He diverted their path and made his way to the top of a nearby hill, the peak of which gave them an unobstructed view of the land on the other side. From here, they could see the sea on either side of the island, but if he looked far enough to the west, he could see the main continent in the distance. To the east, there was naught but a seemingly endless expanse of water. And south…

                Obviously uncertain and a little uneasy, Jungkook shifted beside Yoongi and asked, “What is that place?”

                Yoongi followed his gaze and sighed as he took in the castle-like structure. At one point, it had been, but apparently his parents had a Mage change it from heavy and cold stone bricks to sturdy wood and plaster with a pleasing shade of bluish gray on the outer walls. It was large enough for dozens of people and had been their abode centuries ago. In more recent times and after the Dark Ages, it had housed only two for a time. And then three… “Home,” he whispered, frowning at the recognition.

                Jungkook’s confusion was obvious and he blinked quickly before pointing at the large structure. “That’s your home?”

                “Yes,” he answered, swallowing once and shifting closer to Jungkook with a tense look on his face. His stomach was starting to do flip-flops and he had a familiar but unwelcome tingling sensation setting in on his chest.

                Oblivious to Yoongi’s discomfit, Jungkook asked, “So what’s the Coven then?” But when he looked back to hear the answer, he noticed the other vampire’s expression. “Yoongi?” he asked, freeing his hand to put his arm around him in a supportive gesture.

                “It’s my Coven,” he answered quickly, forcing a weak smile he didn’t feel as he desperately tried to tap down on the array of feelings bubbling up from within.

                “Are you alright?” his companion asked, beginning to notice the shift.

                Yes. No. He wasn’t sure. The elation from his all-out run was gone and he feared he had gone too far. Why had he tried to come home? And why did home fill him with so many confusing emotions at just seeing it? It should be impossible to feel so many things at one time. He didn’t want them, so he turned to the only thing that might help: Jungkook. “Kiss me,” he said, not sure if the words were a command or a plea. He grabbed Jungkook’s shirt collar and pulled him close.

                It was not the kiss he wanted. Jungkook obviously didn’t understand Yoongi’s distress and his answer was surprising at best, but he didn’t pull away. That at least was enough to quell some of the disquiet in him. Arms around his back felt like they just might hold him together and the feel of Jungkook’s lips on his, the smell of him, everything about him and his closeness helped anchor Yoongi so that he didn’t feel overwhelmed with emotions.

                But in the quiet of the cacophony of feelings, three rose acutely in his awareness: fear, longing, and rage. It was the last that set him on edge and made his skin itch; that made him feel as if something was waiting just beneath the surface. “No,” he denied, turning his face to bury it against Jungkook’s shoulder as he clung to the younger vampire.

                “What’s wrong?” he asked, holding Yoongi tight with his lips against the vampire’s hair. “I’m here,” he added when he got no response, fingers pressing harder against the other man.

                “Something…” he trailed off, fighting for the words, for control, for some kind of stability. Something… Panic flashed when power flared nearby and he growled, “Something’s here!” Almost feral in his response, he shoved Jungkook behind him and lashed out with his cloak, the edges jagged and claw-like.

                “Stop!” The command rang out like a clarion call as another cloak blocked his reactive strike.

                Dark eyes with white pinpricks of fire met his gaze and he gasped, “Namjoon.” Surprise and the command held him still but could not banish the offended, defiant rage that howled within. It made his fingers crook into claws and his cloak start to spread, an ominous wave rising behind him.

                Namjoon’s eyes narrowed and his expression hardened as he stepped forward, his commanding aura following him closely. “I. Said. Stop,” he reiterated forcefully, each word hammering against Yoongi’s will like a battering ram.

                At last, Yoongi did stop, but he was confused and no small amount scared. Why was he fighting Namjoon’s command? Why was Namjoon here at all? Why was he feeling this way?! “Joonie…” he exhaled pitifully, searching the other vampire’s face with lost eyes.

                The Vampire Lord’s expression softened to one that was almost pity before he stepped closer and traced his fingertips against Yoongi’s cheek. “Sleep, Yoongi,” he urged, issuing another command.

                Yoongi, or something in him, fought it desperately, clinging to rage as if it could keep him afloat. But Yoongi didn’t want the rage or the feelings it carried. Sleep sounded like a good idea just then. His last fleeting thought was of the vampire behind him. “Jungkook,” he gasped, turning just enough to catch a glimpse of the younger man’s transfixed face before he succumbed to sleep’s call.

                Jungkook’s eyes followed Yoongi’s body as it collapsed on the ground, the cloak dissipating swiftly, leaving him looking like his usual self and not the slightly frightening version he’d been before. At a loss and completely confused, he reached a hand towards the slumbering vampire before looking up. “Namjoon?” he questioned, brow furrowed and mouth slightly parted.

                “It’s alright, now, Jungkook. Sleep,” Namjoon smiled, the expression deceptively peaceful as the command sank in without resistance.

                When the Rank 1 vampire’s body crumpled beside Yoongi’s, Namjoon grimaced and rubbed at his temples with his fingertips before scrubbing his face with both hands and groaning. This was not how he’d expected his morning to go… Frowning, he knelt next to Yoongi’s resting form and placed a hand over him, feeling for his power. Everything seemed alright now. It wasn’t entirely reassuring though. With a low growl in the back of his throat, he stood up and snapped, “Ailee!” his voice practically crackling with power.

                It took her a minute, longer than he would have preferred, but the Mage did appear as called. A portal doorway opened not more than five meters away and he could see Ailee was just coming from her sleeping quarters, still smoothing a wrinkled long-sleeved dress as she did so. He didn’t get more than a glimpse before the portal closed with a muffled pop and she stepped over to investigate for herself, rubbing sleep from her eyes and hastily patting down her bed mussed hair. “Well this is new…” she trailed off, mirroring his action from earlier as if testing Yoongi’s powers for herself.

                That was not what he’d been hoping to hear and it only served to make Namjoon more annoyed. “I thought you said everything was fine,” he reminded her, arms crossed as he glared at the still kneeling Mage.

                “Everything was fine,” she agreed with a sleepy nod before blinking hard and rolling her shoulders. She threaded her fingers and extended them in front of her, conjuring several pops as she did so. It was almost galling how at ease she was, given the situation. “Still is too, from what I can see right now,” she added, though her eyes did slide over to Namjoon with a thoughtful gleam and she nodded to herself.

                “My command almost didn’t work,” he warned her, wondering how she’d react.

                Ailee didn’t respond the way he thought she might. She simply nodded in acknowledgement before rolling Yoongi onto his back so she could lift up his shirt. “This close to home, that’s not too surprising,” she mused, tracing her fingers clinically over the silvery gray marking on the left side of his chest. “Like I said, everything is as it should be. But…” she hesitated, biting her bottom lip before setting the shirt down and standing up to mirror Namjoon.

                “But what?” the vampire demanded irritably. “It’s not like Yoongi to just ignore my orders and even less like him to come… here,” he finished, gesturing towards the castle in the distance.

                “To be fair, quite a few unusual things have been happening lately. Yoongi actually going into the field for the first time in a while, training a new vampire, being completely tapped out, and…” she finished, shaking her finger in Jungkook’s general direction suggestively.

                Namjoon rolled his eyes and pursed his lips before muttering, “Leave the newbie alone.”

                “I’m just saying. He would be the best one to have answers to our immediate concern,” she explained, nodding at Yoongi’s resting form once.

                It was a fair point, but one that Namjoon was not eager to concede. He wrinkled his nose before looking at the castle and then focusing on Yoongi again. “His timing is terrible.”

                Ailee hummed in agreement but she shook her head and shrugged. “It’s not like it’s exactly a tested science here. We knew there might be hiccups along the way. And it’s not like you’ve been helping either,” she added, pointing a finger at him with a side-eyed look. “You haven’t been pushing him to work towards Rank 4 which we could argue might be part of the problem.”

                “He doesn’t want to advance to Rank 4,” the Coven leader snapped.

                “He doesn’t?” she asked archly, glancing at the younger vampire before swinging her attention back to Namjoon.

                “It amounts to the same thing either way now, doesn’t it?” he grumbled, starting to get annoyed.

                “Yes, yes,” Ailee soothed, taking a step closer as she made calming motions with her hands. “Which is partly why I’d like to see Jungkook’s recent memories leading up to this moment. Let’s not forget I’ll have to alter them anyway,” she reminded him with a shrug.

                The Mage could be incredibly irritating sometimes. Her arrogance wasn’t as bad or overt as Ryeowook or Seokjin but it was grating all the same. Especially when things beyond his control, or damn near that point, happened. “Fine,” he grudgingly agreed with a frustrated wave of his hand. “But make it fast. I had to leave a meeting with Sungmin without warning and the longer I’m gone, the harder it’ll be to explain.”

                “Ah. Been busy making the rounds lately,” she laughed with a quick smile.

                “Until the mimic has been dealt with, yes,” he grumbled, leaving it at that.

                Ailee didn’t let his grumpiness bother her as she moved to kneel next to Jungkook, her fingers already drawing markings on the ground around his head They were currently invisible to the eye but power sang where she wrote and when she finished, a light like a halo rose up around Jungkook’s head to float in the space above him. “Let’s see what started everything,” she hummed, her face tightening as she concentrated. She tapped the circle and a picture came to life, actively projecting to the area before them so they could both watch. With each minute movement of her fingers, the image moved, starting at the moment that Namjoon commanded Jungkook to sleep and rewinding slowly.

                It was always weird to hear his own voice in these things and this time was no different, but Namjoon was enthralled all the same. He wasn’t usually privy to such Magework and it was fascinating, even if he didn’t entirely approve of it. It was also strange watching things from Jungkook’s point of view. Strange and a little uncomfortable because he felt like a peeping Tom for watching them just before he appeared and because when he looked at Yoongi before things started to shift, Namjoon couldn’t remember the last time he had seemed so happy. Oh, the cocky, unflappable smirk and confidence was pretty par for the course, but that smile was new.

                Namjoon snorted and shook his head. “That’s enough,” he called, looking down at his coven members.

                “But we haven’t even reached the beginning,” Ailee blinked, pausing as she looked up so she didn’t accidentally mess something up.

                “We don’t need to. It’s obvious Yoongi’s falling. I mean,” he added as he gestured at the image she’d managed to stop on. “He’s clearly showing off here.” Manipulating his cloak to be a full circular shield with a perfectly formed lattice window was no small feat.

                Ailee carefully pulled her hands away from the image as she ran the idea over in her mind and nodded along. “Okay. So he was using a lot of power beforehand and he’s got endorphins running all through his head,” she gestured meaningfully at Yoongi’s body. “Not to mention the… reset, so to speak, he recently experienced that probably upset the previously established balance which might have been a subconscious push and… here we are.”

                Namjoon let the explanation roll around in his head for a moment before he nodded. “Yes.”

                With a wave of her hand, Ailee banished the image and the circle and tapped at her cheek with her finger. “Since he doesn’t want to become a Rank 4, have you considered letting him spend more time with…” she hesitated while searching for the right words, “less powerful companions?”

                Namjoon grimaced and shook his head. “I’m not against it but he hasn’t wanted to.”

                Ailee laughed once and gestured at Jungkook with both hands.

                “Ah. Right,” he nodded, considering it. “You think it might temper his power fluctuations?”

                The Mage shrugged but nodded. “Strength calls to strength. It’s not impossible to think that your command was a challenge which could explain the greater reaction you got when you first arrived.”

                “And if there’s no one to challenge him…” Namjoon hummed thoughtfully. “That would be a decent workaround for the Rank 4 conundrum. But why is this attraction causing such a problem? His last one didn’t,” he scowled, frustrated.

                Again, Ailee barked a laugh. “His last one was short lived and based on friendship. Nothing more. The last serious one was nearly a hundred years ago when things were still new and stable and we didn’t have new things cropping up to poke at the past.”

                “Ack! Enough with your logic, Mage!” Namjoon grumbled, waving at her with frustrated hands.

                “For a vampire lord, you’re very cute when you’re annoyed,” Ailee giggled, intentionally teasing him. He glared at her in response, which only seemed to make her even more amused. When he looked away, she grinned gleefully. “Even your angry face is charming.”

                He usually let her playful barbs pass by without much reaction. After all, he had no reason not to, but it might have been that she was starting to forget, or at least not acknowledge, that he was a Rank 4 vampire. Even if she was a Mage, he was owed some degree of respect. In the blink of an eye, he concealed his power and moved. By the twitch of her eye, it was clear she was aware and tracking him, but that was fine. Let her. Force met force as he circled. Her powers skirted over his senses and he warded her off with his own, keeping them at a stalemate for the moment.

                Feigning indifference, she gestured with one hand and began, “I’m just going to start altering their memories then.”

                Not until he’d made his point, she wasn’t. His form suddenly lost its shape, becoming wispy and thin as it circled around her.

Ailee paused to consider what was happening and her fingers flexed in response. “Touched a nerve, have I?” she asked, the question a slight taunt but at least she’d lost some of her certainty.

                It was difficult to focus in his fog form – his senses extending to every part of it as if he had eyes everywhere, but it also allowed him to ‘sense’ the shield she’d put up around herself. Either she’d forgotten one thing or she was leaving him an opening, but he was going to take it either way. Their stalemate extended… one second… two seconds… three- Flame white eyes burned as Namjoon appeared in front of Ailee, his power keeping hers from latching onto him. For a moment, she seemed almost disappointed with nothing outwardly changing until she tensed up with another flick of her hand. Namjoon smiled slowly and she nodded once in recognition while glancing over her shoulder, her eyes narrowed.

                “Well played Vampire Lord Namjoon,” she acknowledged, banishing her Mage shield with a flick of her fingers and stepping forward. pulled down slightly when fabric tore as the claws of the shadow vampire behind her remained motionless, and her cheek bore a small scratch from when she had looked over her shoulder. “Well played indeed,” she stated again, turning to observe the shadow figure that was still connected to Namjoon’s feet.

                Namjoon dipped his head once in acceptance and relaxed the shadow, allowing it to resume its normal shape on the ground once more. “I’m no Exile but it would not be wise to dismiss me or those like me as no threat.”

                Ailee made a face and tapped at her shoulder with a loose fist, at least slightly embarrassed. “Ugh. I’ve gotten soft since the Dark Ages,” she groaned, rolling her neck but looking at the younger vampire once more, a hint of respect in her eyes. “But I hear you,” the Mage promised, tilting her head in his direction again before gesturing towards the two resting vampires in mute askance.

                Satisfied with the general response, even if she didn’t apologize directly or give any obvious thanks, Namjoon smiled and waved her on. “Be gentle with them though,” he warned, shaking a finger at her in a return of their usual taunting banter.

                “Aren’t I always?” she winked back, brushing at the thin red line on her cheek before she pushed her sleeves up and moved to kneel beside the two vampires again.

                That made Namjoon give her a crooked smile and he shook his head. “I take it you’ve got the rest well in hand?”

                “But of course,” she responded without looking up. “Finish the alteration, send them home, wipe the area, and go back to bed,” she checked off, glancing up long enough to wrinkle her nose at him.

                He waved at her and turned to leave, stepping through shadows to return to his previously abandoned meeting. Hopefully Sungmin wouldn’t be too annoyed with him. The leader of the Co-Existors could be quite finicky if he wanted to be. Then again, most djinns fell under that category…

 

(a/n: Wasn't sure if I was maybe giving too much away in this chapter or not but you could probably start to make some educated guesses or draw some interesting connections by now, if you haven't already. haha Either way, I'm happy I got this out much sooner than previously and I hope that you all enjoyed. As usual, I'd love to hear your thoughts if you want to share and if not, please continue to enjoy. Thank you!)

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Amalya
I should definitely take more plotting walks. XD So many ideas from the one today! Now if only I can get us there... lol At least I have the general layout for the next part in mind, if nothing else. ;)

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Sungmena
#1
Chapter 35: Ooooh nice. See for me it’s always easier to understand something when ppl explain it to me so yoongi going over the kid’s cases and whatnot helped me a lot in that department lol. Thanks for that actually. Till next time ^-^
Sungmena
#2
Chapter 34: I really enjoyed this chapter. I like the relationships budding between the characters. Whether it be romantic or friendly. I also like how yoongi treats kook kinder? Idk if that makes sense but it’s more open and I appreciate it lol. Also he done ed it up at the end there huh lol poor guy. Hates to loose tho huh? Thanks for the update and sorry I’m late ^-^
Sungmena
#3
Chapter 33: Did he really kill it. Pls tell me he really killed it and it didn’t somehow survive Dx
I hope taekwoon gets better (as “better” as he can) especially if hakyeon destroyed the who made him that way. Oh man I hope everything and everyone is ok for a little while at least lol
Sungmena
#4
Chapter 32: Ok ok ok ok woah. First off taekwon, im glad he’s ok, Hakyeon however should probably grow a pair and just visit him. I understand why he isn’t but the nurse lady (im too lazy to check sorry) was right and they both might feel a lil better. Also I feel so bad for jeongmin. Poor baby being threatened like that ):




BUT that whole ending there. I swear I haven’t squealed like that in a while lol. I knew something was going on as soon as namjoon said “nope never mind” lol. He knows what’s up ;) and honestly we all need a namjoon in ou likes. But I’m glad yoongi and kookie are close tho. Like they need each other? BUT I can’t help the feeling that something is gonna happen.
Thanks for the amazing update that made my sugakookie heart explode lol. Till next time :D
Sungmena
#5
Chapter 31: Had some catching up to do lol. Ok ok so firstly wth is up with namjoon and ailee. I’m too slow to piece these things together lol. AND dear lord kook is adorable here. Some much needed sense or normalcy for him I suppose. Amazing update as always! Super excited to see what’s next ;D
Sungmena
#6
Chapter 29: You know I like these chapters because I feel like it’s kinda a behind the scenes to what’s happening in the bigger picture. Like yeah SugaKookie ftw! But nice background too, makes everything come together and makes me WANT to keep reading. Thanks for the update! ^-^ till the next one :D
Sungmena
#7
Chapter 28: YAS!!! Oh man so much going on. Something sus is happening but idk what. I feel a roller coaster coming on



KISS! YES! lol

Thanks for the update (sorry for the tardiness, had a bit going on but I’m here now ^-^ )
Sungmena
#8
Chapter 27: Oooh. Interesting. That is some next level right there. BUT on the bright side yoongi is finally making progress :D
Sungmena
#9
Chapter 26: I swear yoongi is like emotionally constipated