Yoongi didn’t feel good at all. For few days now, a week maybe, he kept feeling nauseous whether he ate or not, drowsy and he kept getting occasional headaches.

But today was especially bad – he woke with the sun rising, and ran straight for the bathroom, like his life depended on it. He managed to get in just at time to throw up all of the almost-digested food from yesterday’s company dinner, not even lifting the toilet seat in his rush. It wasn’t the first time he threw up during promotions, be stress or fatigue the reason, but it was slightly different this time – he knew he got enough rest, food and other physical and psychical needs fulfilled.

‘Just give it some time. Whatever the sickness is, it’s either gonna get fine or worse… and if it does, then you go to hospital. You felt worse, just wait.’

He was never a fan of hospitals. In his opinion, all of the vitamin shots and regular check-ups their company obliged them to were simply to keep them calm, not having much effect. ‘A placebo. Working for those who believe it.’ He thought and grimaced for himself while brushing teeth.

After cleaning his crime scene clean, he moved to living room and fell asleep on the leather sofa in his usual fetus position.

--

The second time Suga woke up this morning, were to a loud noise. He grunted to himself and after few seconds of really waking up, moved after the source of the sound, the kitchen.

“What the hell? Are you filming a drama or just trying to sabotage my sleep..”

He was half smiling when he saw the situation in front of his eyes. Jin was cleaning a porcelain shards from the floor, lightly sighing at Yoongi’s comment. Next to him was Jimin, crouching and holding his head with both hands, whining softly. Jungkook was leaning on the counter, sipping some hot beverage and looking kind of unamused at the scene.

“Ah.. well, Jimin hyung wanted to help Jin hyung with making the pancakes, but hit his head on the open counter above the cooker..” Jungkook chuckled quietly.

Jimin answered him with a little louder whine.

“Well, if you came for a breakfast, you will have to wait few minutes.. the first batch of pancakes is inedible now, since it all ended up on the ground.” Sighed Jin.

“I’m sorry, hyung.” Answered Jimin apologizingly and stretched his hand to grab one of the bigger shards.

“Hush!” stated Jin and slapped Jimin’s hand away lighty. “One injury in a day should be enough.”

“It’s fine, hyung” said Suga. “I’m kinda hungry, but I can wait anyways” It took just those few minutes since he woke up to realize how hungry he really was. ‘At least I have an appetite..’

In the end, Jimin, Yoongi and Jungkook ended up sitting by the table, waiting for Jin to finish today’s second batch of pancakes with blueberries, and chatting their time away. When it was finally ready, Jin placed a plate in front of every of them and happily encouraged them to dig in, placing a bowl with the rest of pancakes in the middle of the table for others to serve themselves when they wake up. At the very first mouthful, Yoongi knew something was wrong.

‘. This is surely not how pancakes should taste like. Was there something rotten..?’

He glanced around to look at others’ expressions to prove himself true. But all were eating, nothing seemed to be off judging from their delighted expressions. It wasn’t every day, Jin made them pancakes, after all.

Yoongi tried another bite, but ‘Crap. This is disgusting…’ and the worse part – it sure wasn’t making his stomach feel good. He decided only to sit and wait for his stomach to calm down, but the sounds of clashing cutlery and occasional noisy eating weren’t really helping. He tried to take deep breath and decided to go get himself a glass of water. But as soon as he stood up, he could already feel his stomach juices making their way up his alimentary canal. He turned in place, held palm over mouth and sprinted to the toilet for the second time this day. He could only hear Jin shouting his name once before he dumped the contents of his tomach in the bowl he cleaned so thoroughly only few hours before.

He sat on floor, hugging the bowl and cooling his head down, when there was a loud knock on the door followed by Jin’s muffled voice.

“Yoongi? Is everything okay?”

“ah.. yeah, hyung.. I’m okay, I’ll be out in a sec”

He heard a quiet sigh and as there were no more knocks or words, he supposed Jin has decided to wait for him to come out.

Except, hell, nothing was okay. Yoongi suddenly felt like crying. His head started to hurt, he was hungry but sick at the same time and worst of all, he made s worry. Wait, crying? Yoongi might not be in his best condition, but he was sure it wasn’t something to cry about. He only cried about two times since they debuted and he was sure it was in situations, where others might actually break down. He never cried. He lightly slapped his cheeks, flushed the mess and got up to move to the sink.

When he finally left the bathroom after few minutes, there were member running all around the living room, in different phases of getting ready to go out. He spotted Jungkook, the maknae was trying to fit in his trousers, only to fail few times and give up eventually, letting out a ‘dammit’ as he grabbed another pair. ‘We told he’s getting more muscular but he was protesting so vehemently..’ Suga smiled.

“Oh, hyung!” Jungkook finally spotted Suga, who wasn’t making any move from the living room entrance.

“Are you okay, hyung?”

“Ah, yeah, I guess I ate something yesterday.. it’s fine now.”

Jungkook still didn’t look content with the answer.

“Oh, actually Jimin hyung started to feel a bit dizzy, so they decided he should get a check up in hospital later.. so he doesn’t have a.. conclusion.. or something. Jin hyung said you should go, as well.. even if it’s nothing, you’ll get to rest.. oh but, Sejin hyung called us, that he’s gonna be here in ten minutes and Bang PD wants to hold a meeting.. so you should go get ready now.”

Suga was about to stop maknae’s rumbling by claiming he’s ‘really fine, and doesn’t need a check-up’, but Jungkook managed finish him monologue and run to the bathroom before he could do so.

‘Great… ing great start of a day…’ Suga grumbled to himself and left to get ready, not before sighing loudly.

--

The meeting was over in two hours. Jimin managed to doze off after the first half, and since Bang PD wasn’t heartless, after being explained the situation, he let the poor boy sleep. After they left the room, Jimin was being taken to the hospital and Jin and Hoseok both urged Yoongi to go with him. They saw it’s not going anywhere as Yoongi was very energetically refusing and because they saw him during the meeting eat one of the three pizzas on table by himself, they eventually gave up.

Bangtan had no real schedules for the day, but they were also not allowed to leave the training room. It was the second hour into their training when Yoongi suddenly felt a tearing pain in his abdomen. He gasped for air and fell to his knees, vision going back and forth. Hoseok was the one who saw the scene, shouted loudly, which alerted others and they came swarming around him in seconds. In the pain he was is, he could still think: ‘.. so this is it.. I ed up..’

“Hyung.. Hyung! What is wrong? What happened?” Hoseok was kneeling in front of Yoongi, probably subconsciously clenching one of rapper’s hands that wasn’t on his abdomen, shocked expression visible.

“I’m.. I’m… , it hurts” ‘Oh, no “I’m fine” anymore’

“Where does it-“ Hoseok was shoved away, uttering ‘, hyung!’ not so quietly.

“Yoongi” Jin’s caring eyes. “Manager hyung went with Jimin.. I’m gonna grab my car and I’m bringing you to the hospital. Don’t even think about resisting. Wait!” And he ran away.

The pain was slowly decreasing and Yoongi was starting to take in all the pained expressions around him. Hoseok somehow found his way back to the place closest to his hyung and held his hand in one of his own. He was wiping sweat from Yoongi’s forehead with other.

“Shh, it’s fine, you’re gonna be fine!”

Yoongi smiled. “As expected from J-Hope” He tried to laugh before giving up, he hurt and felt drained. After few minutes, Jin arrived and him and Hoseok helped him to the car. Hoseok insisted he’s going as well, but in the end Jin sent him back and they took off. Yoongi wasn’t protesting anymore.

--

During the ride, Jin tried to ask Yoongi about how was he feeling and what actually the matter is. He said he had no clue, but to be honest, he had about two theories. The first one was, Yes, he has a cancer and he is ing dying. He was always scared of illnesses, cancer particularly, who knows why because his family is one of the healthiest he’s ever heard of. It was also more the reason he hated doctors – because they would tell him it’s over for him! But he knew it’s mostly unreasonable fear. And the second theory, well, it made much more sense. Too much ing sense, if anyone would ask him. So yea, he's made a mistake and now he has a very different incurable disease, which he could have easily prevent. If only he gave enough s. ‘, that’s the worst pun you ever made, brain, thank you very much’.

--

Jin took him straight to the emergency section, which was extremely busy, nobody was paying the two idols attention. Apparently, there has been a big accident on one of the arterial roads. Everyone as running around as crazy. The scariest part was, that there wasn’t enough cries. ‘It’s always the worst cas-‘ Yoongi’s thought got interrupted by a young nurse calling him inside.

“I’ll wait here for you” told him Jin and Yoongi only nodded.

The doctor was a young man, a little too young, by Yoongi’s judgement. He introduced himself and let Yoongi explain his problems without sparring him more than a second glance. He either didn’t know Yoongi is a celebrity or simply didn’t care. It was nice. It was slightly irritating. Then he performed a usual check-up: blood pressure, dilating pupils test, checked lymph nodes, heartbeat...

“Now, please, lay down and roll up your T-Shirt”

Yoongi did so willingly. The doctor started touching his abdomen lightly, then tapping it. He didn’t push in different places and ask about pain and it was fast over. The doctor sighed.

“Well, Mr. Min, your lower abdomen seem to be very rigid, it is never a good sign. It could mean some of the organs is secreting a liquid in abdominal cavity. Even tumor is a possibility. I need you to undergo an ultrasound, if you agree?”

“Yes…” Yoongi felt himself getting paler. So the doctor said it. He’s dying, alright.

“No need to be stressed yet, though, alright? Unfortunately, the ultrasound we have here is being used, but I will write you an application and you should go to the gynecologic section for your treatment. You might have to wait, but still it will be faster than here… ah, what a day...”

The doctor let out a tired sigh, handing Yoongi an agreement with ultrasound examination to sign, not really noticing the idol’s trembling hands.

--

So, yes, Jin and Yoongi ended up sitting in Gynecology Ward. It’s been almost two hours since they arrived. First, he refused to tell Jin what the doctor said, but Jin was urging him, Yoongi could swear he could feel his motherly concern. So he gave in and during sobbing explained he might actually have a tumor in his stomach. Jin hugged Yoongi and “shhh”’d him until he calmed down, whispering about how ‘It’s gonna be fine’ and ‘We’re with you whatever happens’. Normally, Yoongi would snort at these words, but now, he really appreciated them. This was a really bad, bad ing day for Yoongi. After the initial shock and some coffee, he started joking about being the first man that’s waiting for his appointment at gynecology. If the situation was different, he could actually die of shame; this was a very unknown area for him, and it would be the best if it stayed that way, he thought.

When the nurse finally called him in, all the nervousness came back at once. Jin agreed before to go in with him, so seeing how Yoongi stood up and didn’t really made another step, he grabbed his hand and pulled him to start moving.

“You know, we might be the first two guys walking through this door and holding hands” Jin semi-whispered to Yoongi.

Yoongi pulled his hand free and nudged his hyung’s shoulder, giving him jokingly disgusted look. But yes, it was funny and he felt slightly better.

Inside, the introductions and handling papers were similar to the procedure at emergency. Doctor’s name was Son Jinhwan, he was about 50 and Yoongi felt better this time, because of the doctor's 'more experienced and wiser age.' But he had to say, he was bewildered, that the doctor was a man because he expected the person to which women confide intimately to be of the same gender. On the other hand, it wasn't like Yoongi knew about women, body or mind - he went to all boys’ school before and he was gay ever since he could remember. Not that he wouldn’t know the basic physiology, his friends in high school were a bit too informative for his liking, but he never felt the need to research about these things. ‘Well, if I went to have my examined, I would surely like another man to do it. I mean... not too pretty one, but... yea. Man for sure.’

“No need to be too nervous, Mr. Min. I need you to relax muscles. And when you’re ready, lie down on the table and shirt up, please.”

‘You’re not the one dying, sure!’ Yoongi bit his lip and proceeded to do as told. He glanced at Jin who sent him encouraging thumbs up back. The nurse was setting the ultrasound machine ready.

“Good to go, Mr. Son” she said.

“Alright, I need to apply this liquid on your abdomen, it will be cold, but try to relax. The examination doesn’t hurt, do not worry.”

Yoongi’s head was spinning, he was sweating profoundly, but sure, ‘no worries’.

“You can take a look at the screen, I can give you a little guide tour about your inner organs, if you don’t mind?” The doctor tried to show Yoongi a calming smile, but Yoongi was still too nervous about his situation. The doctor’s friendliness seemed a bit out of place. Well, Yoongi only managed to nod.

“Oh, you cannot actually see the organs on the screen, but where the sensor is touching now is the bowel. The ultrasound can only find irregularities on the intestines by using a special sound waves…”

Yoongi kept nodding and he occasionally taking glances at Jin in corner. Jin seemed to be interested in doctor’s lecture, staring at the man with slightly open mouth. That made Yoongi smile faintly. He was glad he didn’t have to go through this alone.

“Anyways” the doctor continued “everything is fine here, so let’s move a bit lower”

The rapper was slightly uncomfortable with sensor being a bit too close to his private areas.

“So here is th- Oh?” The doctor seemed to lose his thread of speech as he produced not too loud surprised sound. Suga heard Jin hiss in his corner and his heart started beating too fast once again. He could hear Mr. Son asking the nurse to configure the machine, but he didn’t pay attention. The doctor found something to be wrong, that’s all he needed to hear. He was shaking, sweating bullets and thought he might faint every second. Eventually, the doctor and nurse agreed, the machine is working properly and doctor turned to Yoongi once again.

“Mr. Min, do you happen to be an inter?”

Yoongi lifted his head and looked at the doctor, utterly confused.

“Um... I don’t understand the term.” He heard Jin humming, meaning he also didn’t.

“It’s a reference to a person having slightly different characteristics than most, most known cases are people bearing reproduction organs of both male and female. The term hermaphrodite is more known, I suppose.”

“No... I am not? I’m a man.” Yoongi was too confused to give real thought to anything the doctor was trying to explain. Why was he even speaking about this? He just wanted to know when will he die. He doesn’t need to learn difficult foreign words. He was starting to get angry, and was just about to speak rude, when he looked at his hyung. Jin was staring at Yoongi with mouth wide open, shocked expression as if he’s seen a ghost. It surprised Yoongi and his anger was replaced with confusion once again.

“Well...” the doctor began to speak, diverting Yoongi’s attention back to him. Before continuing, he coughed, reached for a tissue to wipe few drops of sweat and nervously laughed.

“Ehm... I don’t really know how to say this, it’s new for me. But Mr. Min, according to ultrasound and well, to my 24 years’ experience of working with the machine.” Mr. Son laughed nervously again “you are pregnant Mr. Min.”

There was a silence.

No one dared to move. Because... What? Yoongi was sure he heard wrong, the heavy atmosphere was making his mind perplexed.

“To explain a bit more. If you look at the monitor, you can see the foetus. It appears to be 3 to 4 weeks old, the development seems to be optimal. Ah, it’s right here” The doctor moved to point at a place on monitor. “It is still too early to distinguish its features. But it will- “

“Wait” Yoongi’s loud voice echoed through room. “Are you kidding me, huh? Is this a hidden camera?” His face was staying neutral, but he was sure, that if this was indeed a hidden camera, it’s going to be the one where main character gets angry and leaves instead of laughing it off with everybody. It would still count for success, though.

“Excuse me, a what?” now the doctor looked very confused.

“A joke” said Jin “Is it a joke?”

“Ah, no… I’m very sure about my diagnose. It’s 99 percent positive.”

Silence.

“BUT HOW COULD HE-“ Jin stood and shouted. The nurse rushed close to him, urging him to sit and calm down. He eventually did.

But to Yoongi, everything seemed as if it was happening in a mist. Too unreal. What was the man saying? Yoongi is with a baby? Yoongi was very sure he was a man. Men can’t bear children. But, somehow... something… was telling him it is true. It explains everything, his mood swings, nausea, fatigue, recent different tastes in food even. He saw enough movies to know the symptoms. But.

“No. No No No”. Yoongi felt his eyes starting to sting. “It’s not p-po-possible. Right, Hyung?” he looked for his opinion’s support in Jin, but Jin just stared at him with unidentifiable gaze.

“Um, let me ask you Mr. Min, in a time of about four weeks ago, have you” the doctor coughed nervously “have you performed a ual with another man?”

In the lying position Yoongi was in, suddenly, one memory followed by another started to flash before his eyes as a silent movie. The sponsor’s dinner. Champagne. He looks bored and Yoongi goes to chat with him. Champagne, much more. Yoongi invites him to meet him at bathroom, in hid drunken state. He does and then...-

Yoongi comes out of his fog and takes one final look at the ultrasound monitor.

And then he notices his vision getting blurry. ‘Yes, that’s it, it’s a nightmare, nothing more…’

He hears shouts before he finally passes out.