REVIEW 005

DEFENCE AND OFFENCE  |  by PRODI-J

REVIEWED BY BULOUP

 
 *I've come to realise I am quite harsh so I'm going to try and tone it down a bit. XD Hope you still find this helpful, and I hope you are not offended by any of my comments as I'm only trying to be honest in order to help you to improve.
 

TITLE: 5/5
 

Obviously the title does fit in the with the plot, especially seeing as it is a football au. The assonance used works really well and sounds nice when read, and the words easily link to the plot, and it is even referenced throughout the fanfic. I can't complain, this title really works well. 

DESCRIPTION: 9/10

The rhetorical question really makes it obvious so I usually tend to stay away from including them in descriptions, however for this kind of short, -based fanfiction, it doesn't really matter too much as you'd kind of expect people to be reading it more for the than anything! 

So the description really summed up the plot line which is always better than leaving it too vague. And honestly, I was intrigued right from the start; this is exactly the sort of thing I read anyway so reading the description really got my attention and I'm sure it's the same for many of your other readers. 

PLOT: 25/30

I found that some of the events that took place within the fanfic were confusing and rushed. Almost instantly I found myself wondering what had just happened when the USB was stolen from an opposing football team(???) I dont think it was explained properly, though overall I suppose that was just a minor flashback to show how Kyungsoo got involved with the team in the first place. I think that scenes like these are important though, and making them clearer will definitely help with the plot. This was the only thing I really found confusing though. 

Actually, the plot was was great. Humerous and with a great build up of which is always a bonus! And knowing that there was more to it than just really made me happy haha. 

I know this was mostly based on the and I have to say that you did a great job on it. I'm no expert in - I've tried writing it once or twice but I find it to be the most awkward thing ever XD - but you did well in describing it vividly. Nice. 

Though this sort of plot has been used many times before, especially after Love Me Right was released, this type of fanfiction never gets old so originality isn't an issue - it's more about the way it was written more than anything. Overall, the plot was interesting and compelling and that's all that really matters when tr