Letting Things Slip

My Number One Fan

A/N: this chapter is full of drama hohohoh ;) another update will be here either tomorrow or the next day! love you guys and please enjoy!! <3 happy new years

Pulling apart roughly, Kibum and Jonghyun regarded each other with wide, desperate eyes. The ticking of the clock seemed to sound in slow motion, and Kibum didn’t think that he’d ever moved so quickly in his entire life. Practically diving off the couch and landing sprawled on the packet of chips below, Kibum’s hands shook frantically in an attempt to redo the buttons on his shirt. His breathing ran heavy, and when he looked up at Jonghyun to see the older male smoothing down his hair and clothes with haste, his eyes seemed to scream death.

Crushed chips were splattered wildly over the floorboard, and it was as Kibum attempted to clear the mess with unsteady hands when Kibum’s mother walked into the room, a few bags of groceries in her grasp as she surveyed the scene before her. First, her gaze landed on Jonghyun, hair rustled slightly and shirt marginally askew, but otherwise looking perfectly average. She offered him a kind smile and he returned it almost immediately, unconsciously fixing his hair so that every strand was perfectly in place. And that was when the woman’s gaze fell to Kibum, face screwing up strangely as she noticed her son with his buttons uneven, mussed hair, red cheeks and salt and vinegar chips spilt wildly over the floor.

“Kibum?” she questioned, strict lines harrowing her face as it lifted again to examine Jonghyun. Now that she peered closer, she began to notice that he too had a pinkish hue to his cheekbones and was awfully aware of how he seemed to appear, tugging and pulling at his shirt as though it burnt his skin.

Kibum looked up and smiled tightly. “Hi, mother. Sorry about the mess…I accidentally slipped on this packet of chips.”

His mother nodded slowly, unconvinced. “What about your buttons, Kibum?”

Immediately, his head flew down to survey his shirt, cheeks reddening even more so at the state they were in. But Kibum, being the excellent actor he was, played along with his embarrassment and lied smoothly. “What the heck, have these been like this all day?! Jonghyun, why didn’t you tell me? That’s so embarrassing…”

Jonghyun chuckled good-naturedly, and although his mother wouldn’t have, Kibum took note of how his laughter seemed slightly forced. “I thought it would be funny. Sorry.”

“You don’t seem very sorry,” Kibum scowled, redoing his buttons so that they were even and neat.

Scepticism still laced the woman’s features, and then as though a lightbulb had gone off, her head shot to face Jonghyun once more. “Then why aren’t you in your school uniform, Jonghyun?”

Fear trickled down Kibum’s spine, and he regarded Jonghyun with desperation screaming in his eyes. Jonghyun met Kibum’s gaze and his eyes softened as though reassuring Kibum that everything would be fine, and looked back up to smile dazzlingly in Mrs Kim’s direction. “I have gym last, so instead of changing back into my school uniform I usually just wear casual clothes.” he explained with a smile. “My school clothes are in the car.”

“Oh. Okay” the woman responded with a frown, looking in between the two boys a few times with uncertainty before turning away to head to the kitchen.

Both Jonghyun and Kibum let out deep breaths of relief upon her departure, and Kibum finished cleaning the mess on the floor before collapsing onto the couch beside his boyfriend. “Your mum is kind of scary.” whispered Jonghyun, eliciting Kibum to giggle loudly in agreement.

“Yeah, I guess.” the younger male responded, dimples poking softly into his pink cheeks. “She sure asks a lot of questions.”

Jonghyun grinned impishly and leant forward slightly to fix Kibum’s hair, whispering in his ear softly as he did so. “True, but considering how much you lie, I wouldn’t blame her.”

With a pout, Kibum pushed Jonghyun away and instead went to grab a handful of chips, clutching the packet tightly to his chest.

“Hey…” Jonghyun whined. “Let me have some too.”

“Not if you’re gonna be rude.” refused Kibum playfully, grabbing another handful and shoving the whole lot in his mouth, humming softly in delight. “Mmm, delicious.”

A mischievous glint shone in Jonghyun’s eyes, and as his boyfriend closed his eyes in pretend euphoria, Jonghyun took his chance and dived forward, fingers tickling every expanse of skin he could lay his hands on. Kibum gasped, packet dropping out of his grasp as they moved desperately to protect himself, and although he really struggled not to, the loud bouts of laughter which escaped Kibum’s lips really were inevitable.

“S-Stop!” he breathed loudly in the midst of wild laughter, kicking at Jonghyun’s relentless arms as though his life depended on it.

Jonghyun grinned. “You never told me you were ticklish.”

“B-Because I knew…This would h-happen.” Kibum squeaked out, kicking one of his legs instinctively hard when Jonghyun’s hand brushed over a particularly sensitive patch of skin. Jonghyun’s eyes practically bulged out of his head, and before Kibum had even known what he’d done, Jonghyun was rolling around on the floor in pain, hands laying protectively over his groin.

“Oh. My. God.” Kibum spoke, watching Jonghyun’s pained form with an astonished expression. “Did I..?” he paused, surveying Jonghyun’s figure for a few moments in silence (bar the groans of pain emitting from the elder’s mouth.) And then Kibum was howling even louder than before in laughter, clutching his stomach as the chuckles shook his lithe frame. It sounded unattractive, but Kibum couldn’t help but wheeze in a struggle for breath, finding all too much amusement in what he’d caused his boyfriend. “Karma’s a , isn’t it Jjong?”

Jonghyun grumbled in pain. “H-How is it karma when you didn’t let me eat any chips in the first place? Please…My family is starving.”

Voice reaching another octave higher, Kibum was laughing once more, clambering over to tickle Jonghyun’s exposed ribs.

Kibum’s mother stood in the kitchen, leisurely unpacking her groceries as she thought about the scene she had stumbled upon just moments ago. Uneven buttons and a rustled appearance certainly wasn’t something Kibum would usually leave the house with. Sure, the middle aged woman wasn’t home much, but she knew for a fact that fashion had a big influence on her son’s life and would be damned if Kibum had genuinely left the house looking like that. Perhaps he’d been in a rush? Or maybe he had a secret girlfriend he wasn’t telling her about. Kibum’s mother shook her head. It just didn’t make sense.

She knew her son. He was a smart, quiet and often moody boy who didn’t have many friends, and despite his asocial habits, Kibum definitely wasn’t awkward. The possibility of him having a girlfriend wasn’t completely off limits, but the thought in itself just didn’t settle right with Kibum’s mother. She didn’t know why, but for some odd reason, deep down she knew that wasn’t why his buttons were uneven that day. Maybe, just maybe, there was a lingering thought in the back of her head that had been growing even steadier over the past few weeks. Something she didn’t dare mutter aloud for anyone to hear. With the strong influence of her husband, Kibum’s mother didn’t even want to acknowledge it, and instead pushed down the instinctive feeling to the bottom of her gut where it would remain for what she hoped would be forever.

And then, breaking through the silence of her own wild mind, came the sound of loud, pure and genuine laughter which rang melodiously through the air like joy. It spread around the kitchen and engulfed the middle aged woman in a feeling mixed with surprise and warmth, and upon hearing the sound of her only son boisterously laughing with upmost happiness, she realized something that in one whole motion broke her heart and taped it back together again.

Perhaps…She didn’t really know her son at all. And while that feeling should have been a horrible one for a mother of 19 years like herself, instead she found tilting up at the edges in contemplation. So maybe she didn’t know her son very well. It would do no good to deny that fact. But, if that beautiful sound of mirth and love escaping his mouth at that very moment was even a fragment of what he had to behold, then Kibum’s mother was more than ready to get to know her son wholeheartedly. She grinned, her dimples reflecting the ones that were being showcased on Kibum’s beautiful face as he chuckled.

Yes, she concluded mentally to herself. I want to get to know my son.

It was around an hour later when the front door creaked open once again, this time announcing the return of Kibum’s father. Jonghyun noticed it immediately. The way Kibum’s shoulders suddenly tensed, the hitch of his breath and the constant desire to look and appear immaculate. Unconsciously he frowned, and although he wanted to loop an arm around Kibum in reassurance, he knew that around Kibum’s father, it was well off limits. The man looked marginally surprised to see Jonghyun there watching a movie with Kibum, however brushed it off within seconds and didn’t even acknowledge the boys again until dinner.

Sitting at the dining room table, Jonghyun was more cautious and aware than ever. Every single movement Kibum’s father took was watched by him closely, and he couldn’t help the anger from clouding his features every time Kibum flinched or tensed at something the middle aged man had said or done. The words that Luna had texted him were practically echoing in his brain, and even though he knew they were just assumptions, that certainly didn’t make them any less important or concerning.

He had witnessed the man’s harsh nature for himself. Calling his own son those abhorrent names for simply wearing eyeliner…Constantly filling his head with prejudiced thoughts on the homoual community. People didn’t choose their parents, and Jonghyun understood that. But, considering Kibum’s own uality and personality, it was safe to say that his parents (or perhaps just his father), were the worst a boy like him could have ended up with.

Dinner, he noted, was delicious. The different types of food to choose from were vast and diverse, although it was clear to tell that somehow, it just wasn’t cooked with the same sort of love his food at home was. Jonghyun didn’t dislike Kibum’s house. In fact, he thought it was grand, beautiful and magnificent. But something about it just felt cold, and Jonghyun finally found himself understanding why Kibum enjoyed the company of his sister and mother so much.

Maybe it wasn’t a matter of love. After all, family were meant to love each other unconditionally, right? Kibum had just been brought up without as much attention and affection as Jonghyun, and so his family functioned in different ways. That would have been perfectly fine with Jonghyun, had the younger boy not looked so uncomfortable around his own father. Jonghyun himself hadn’t really grown up with a father figure around the house – his own had left them at an early age. But even if Jonghyun didn’t know a lot about how they were meant to act, he knew for a fact that children were not meant to fear their own fathers. They were meant to admire them. Look up to them.

Kibum didn’t admire his father. He seemed to sneer his name whenever they spoke about family, and now, looking to his left, Jonghyun saw that he was quivering in his boots.

‘Just what type of man is Kibum’s dad?’ Jonghyun thought to himself, brows furrowing even more so as he did.

His expression of deep thought and anger, along with his slow pace when consuming dinner didn’t go unnoticed by Mrs Kim. She saw the way that Jonghyun was glaring at their husband, and unconsciously, felt herself gulping in discomfort. Had Kibum told Jonghyun what had happened? It wasn’t as though she could ask aloud. And so instead she simply remained quiet for the remainder of the meal and observed Kibum and the mysterious Jonghyun with curiosity swimming in her brown orbs.

Protectiveness seemed to aura around Jonghyun in small waves, and another drop of that strange, instinctive feeling fell into the pit of her stomach. The woman tried to brush off the feeling, after all, it would do not good to dwell on her probably false inklings. But no matter how hard she tried to concentrate on other matters, it didn’t seem to budge, slowly but surely taking over every corner of her intelligent mind.

“Sorry dinner was so quiet,” apologized Kibum later that evening, head bowed. “Father and I had a disagreement the other day so…He was a little cold.”

Jonghyun snorted. “Yeah, I could tell something was a bit off. Are you sure you’re okay to stay here?”

Surprised at how serious Jonghyun sounded, Kibum could only offer a nod of the head in response. A small grin made its way onto the older boy’s face, and Kibum suddenly felt better at the tender, warm expression in Jonghyun’s chocolate brown eyes. “Good,” he commented, lifting his hand to gently ruffle Kibum’s hair. The height difference made it seem a little awkward, however neither boy could really bring it within themselves to care – after all, that was probably the only physical contact they could make with Kibum’s parents being so close nearby. “And Kibum?”

The singer’s voice was softer than usual. Gentle, delicate, as though Kibum might break at any moment. Kibum didn’t quite understand – he was perfectly fine, wasn’t he? “Hm?” he responded, tilting his head slightly to the side.

“If you ever, y’know, feel unsafe or like something’s wrong…Just know that you’re welcome at my house whenever you want. Early in the morning, during school, for dinner, in the middle of the night. Any time’s fine.”

Kibum blinked. “Oh…kay? This is a bit random, don’t you think?”

Awkwardly, Jonghyun his lips. “I know, I know…The offer’s just always there, alright?” Cupping Kibum’s shoulder warmly, Jonghyun offered him one last bright smile before opening the front door. “I’ll catch you later, Kibum!”

“See you, Jonghyun.” responded Kibum softly, closing the door behind his boyfriend and staring at the wooden frame wistfully. No, he thought to himself. This wouldn’t do.

“I left something in Jonghyun’s car mum, I’ll be right back!” Kibum was out of the door before he could even hear the woman’s response.

“Jjong, wait!”

Jonghyun turned around in shock, surprised to see Kibum running towards him. Cheeks flushed from both the chilly air and embarrassment, Kibum paused before Jonghyun, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry…I-I forgot something.”

And before Jonghyun even had time to comprehend what Kibum had said, the younger’s slim, cool fingers were holding his face firmly and his lips were pressed against his own. It was sweet and short lived, but Kibum’s expression was immediately brighter when they separated. He bit his lip shyly and stared at his shoes. “Forgot my goodbye kiss.”

Jonghyun’s ears were painted pink, and a smile larger than the moon adorned his rouging face. “R-Right. Of course.”

“I…” Kibum paused, and the mixture of light provided by both the streetlamps and the moon’s rays shone down to illuminate his flawless face. It took all of Jonghyun’s willpower in that moment not to grasp Kibum and kiss him once more, but he resisted, and simply stared at Kibum awaiting his words. “I um…really loved that song, by the way. Thanks, Jjong.”

Jonghyun smiled, half disappointed that he had to leave so soon. “I’m glad…But I really best be off now. See ya, Kibum.”

“Bye, Jonghyun! Take care.”

‘I should be saying that to you’, thought Jonghyun mentally, opting to keep his thoughts to himself. Instead he simply waved, blowing Kibum a sly kiss out the window as he drove away.

The week seemed to elapse slower than ever, and it was with hunched shoulders and a grim expression that Thursday when Kibum was pulled to sit with Amber’s group of friends for the nth time over the past few days. It wasn’t horrible. Kibum had someone to sit with at least, and every now and then Amber would make sure to include Kibum in the conversation as best as she possibly could. It consisted of mostly girls, and although they didn’t speak to him, Kibum figured it was better to have nothing said in contrast to something horrible. He ate his lunch in silence, and the only time it really made him uncomfortable to sit there was when a few of the guys would seemingly glare into his soul, not budging until Kibum looked up from his lunch to halt them with a scowl.

“You’re not going to make any friends if you don’t make civilized conversation with them.” Amber had told him one day before school.

“Do I look like I want to be friends with them?” Kibum had retorted. Amber had shrugged casually, but both of them knew that the answer was a solid no.

Kibum felt a little guilty that he’d been invading Amber’s friend group every day despite his obvious dislike for them, but when he had told Amber that he was fine to sit alone, the tomboy had vehemently refused and practically pushed Kibum all the way to their sitting place at lunchtime. He found that despite their catch up on Tuesday, Kibum was missing Jonghyun more than ever, and they’d only been separated for a measly two days. It wasn’t as though he was desperate. Really, Kibum wasn’t the clingy type of boyfriend. It was just that the idea of sitting in the company of someone who genuinely wanted you to be there really was quite pleasant.

But although the concept of being with Jonghyun at that moment was pleasant, it was awfully unrealistic, and so Kibum remained sitting with the group of loudly chattering boys and girls who, bar Amber, couldn’t really give a crap about what he had pressing at his mind. It wasn’t great. And it certainly wasn’t very fun. But, Kibum concluded, it wasn’t horrible.

This was getting ridiculous, Minho noted as he poked his head inside the dance room only to land upon Kibum’s lack of presence once again. Taemin, unsurprisingly, was still there, eating his lunch contentedly without an ounce of concern painting his face. “Hey, Taem.” Minho greeted with a soft frown, slipping inside and taking a seat on the floor across from Taemin.

He unwrapped the foil around his sandwich, taking note of the fact that its sound was clearly distinguishable from the otherwise silent room. The two ate in silence for a few minutes, but as the ticking of the clock blared pressingly in Minho’s ears, he found his mouth moving before he even had time to comprehend his thoughts. “Where’s Kibum been lately?” he questioned curiously, mostly to himself. “I’m kind of worried about him…”

Looking up from his container of rice, Taemin’s eyes were darker than usual, and Minho faltered in surprise. his lips awkwardly, Minho cleared his throat before trying again. “Did something happen?”

Taemin scowled, and once again, astonishment and disbelief shrouded Minho’s veins. The Taemin he knew…The Taemin that he’d befriended was nothing like the boy sitting before him.

“Who cares about Kibum?” Taemin muttered, diverting his gaze back to his food before adding under his breath, “He’s disgusting anyway.”

Minho blinked. “Excuse me?”

Lifting his eyes, Taemin repeated in a low tone. “I said,” he gritted out. “That he’s disgusting anyway.”

Anger boiled in Minho’s veins, furious at his best friend’s words. “You don’t mean that, Taemin. What’s gotten into you?”

“I meant every word. Common sense has gotten into me and nothing else.” His gaze locked on Minho’s, but the older male didn’t miss the way Taemin’s gaze flickered away from his. He couldn’t keep eye contact.

Minho shook his head. “I can’t believe you. You know what it’s like to be targeted because of people’s prejudice, and now you’re doing the exact same thing just because Kibum and Jonghyun are dating. You’ve talked to Kibum…And you’ve enjoyed talking to Kibum! So tell me, god damn it, what’s gotten into you?”

‘Just because Kibum and Jonghyun are dating…’ The words echoed in Taemin’s head, and instinctively his mouth dropped in surprise. He’d known that Kibum had a crush on the older male, but the information about their newly established relationship came as a surprise to Taemin. Taemin’s voice stuttered, trying to form some kind of response, but Minho stood up and talked for him instead.

“Kibum was there for you when you were cornered by those bullies, and now you’re bullying him…Seriously, it seems like I’m the only one in this god damn school other than Amber who actually gives a about the kid! Even his own dad—“ Minho paused suddenly, deciding that he’d said too much.

All the newly acquired information was swimming around Taemin’s head at such a fast pace, and with red cheeks he tried stuttering out an apology. He knew he’d said something wrong…He knew he was wrong but somehow, the apology still wasn’t genuine. “I’m sorry…”

“Save it.” Minho spoke, shaking his head in disappointment as he made move to leave the room. “I hope, Taemin…That you’ll have come to your senses the next time we speak.”

And then he was gone, slamming the door shut behind him and leaving Taemin once again, alone in that white, white room. Taemin stared at the walls, a blank abyss that perfectly portrayed his numb mind. Kibum had been such a good friend. He’d helped him when there was no one else there to help, he’d made Taemin laugh, he’d invited him to parties and yet still…Taemin had discarded Kibum just like all of his first year peers had done to him. His eyes burnt and tears blurred his vision, but Taemin refused to let them fall.

‘It’s fine.’ He told himself. ‘I’m doing this because of Minho. Minho is more important than Kibum.’

Taemin paused with horrible realization sinking into his skin. Minho had left him. Just minutes ago, Minho had stormed out of that door with disgust shrouding his handsome features because of the things Taemin had done. In pursuit to keep his best (and possibly only) friend, Taemin had only pushed him further away. The first year felt physically ill.

“What am I going to do?” he mumbled softly to himself, clenching his fists so harshly that half-moon marks were left on the palms of his hands. “What am I going to do?”

Humming in contemplation, Kibum’s mother considered the two items in her grasp once again before placing one delicately back on the shelf and carelessly letting the other fall into her shopping basket. There were only three of them at home of course, but with her husband and her being out so often for work, the middle aged woman felt as though the cupboard needed to be fully stocked at all times in case her son felt peckish. But recently, she thought to herself, Kibum hadn’t been home much at all to even eat all the food she’d been buying. With a shrug, the mother kept the snacks in her basket nonetheless and continued down the aisle, pausing in her tracks once she’d reached the other side.

Perhaps her eyes were fooling her…She hadn’t seen the boy much for herself anyway, but—

It was fruitless to deny that the male standing a small distance away from Kibum’s mother was indeed Jonghyun. With a light frown adorning her aging features, the woman pulled up her sleeve to check the time on her watch, the creases around her brows increasing even more so at the presented 1:42pm. School hours were still running, and last time Kibum’s mother had checked, lunch time finished at 1:30pm. Her footsteps quickened towards her son’s friend, waving slightly as his gaze met hers.

Panic seemed to illuminate his eyes for a mere millisecond before they returned to their previously neutral state, and with what seemed like a forced grin, he waved shyly back. “Hi, Mrs Kim!” he greeted politely, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck.

“Hi, Jonghyun.” she responded with a nod of the head, briefly taking note of the woman by Jonghyun’s side. Her stare returned to Jonghyun and paused, allowing her head to tilt in confusion. “If you don’t mind me asking, dear…Why aren’t you at school? Are you ill?”

The woman beside Jonghyun looked terribly lost now, looking from Jonghyun to Kibum’s mom in an attempt to figure out the scene before her. Jonghyun opened his mouth marginally to respond, however was halted as the woman interrupted him, light humour lacing her voice. “School?” she snorted. “I know he looks pretty young, ma’am, but Jonghyun here is twenty one.”

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jjongorbit
#1
Chapter 29: it's really sad that the story isn't complete or that it has had an update. which is a shame considering how good she is. i read it all in one day and with each chapter i wanted more and more. i will still waiting an author-nim update
21Ame-chan #2
Chapter 29: It would be great to see this finished. Looooooove it! ♥️
BTS_4_Life4821
#3
Chapter 29: SO MUCH FEELS!! :")
*Crying in a corner*
--catastrophe #4
thank you for the update ;;;;
japulee
#5
Chapter 29: I love you.! Thanks for the update
Kdubz624 #6
Chapter 29: So many feels! Can't wait for the next update!
shawollll #7
Chapter 28: Poor Kibummie I can't wait to see what happens next I loove this fic please update soon ^^
AlexRoze
#8
Chapter 28: *scream of frustration*


... I hate you author-nim... and the stupid teacher, hrmph