Chapter 3-3

A Glimpse From The Past

Yonghwa’s eyes followed cautiously upon a man who was sliding the doorleaf off then entering the room, meeting his gaze right after. He straightened up his body in sudden alert. Personally he wanted it badly to make this visit in a perfect private, ultimate secret. But this house wasstrangely opened in discovering him. Just like this time.

“Talk to me when you’ve finished.” Yunho’s voice choed, stabbing Yong Hwa a longing yet anxious glare after he digested his dongsaeng’s rare presence. His expression was stiff mixed with a bare anxiety.

As a brother who lived separately from his dongsaeng for almost seven years, any relation could stain Yunho’s exhausted heart. He deeply eagered to pull Yong Hwa back into this house, locking him in secret room, unletting him to run away again for no trace, as freely as Yong Hwa’s guts wanted a long with his distress, then gave him neverending limitation.

“I’m just finished.” Yong Hwa got off, untightening his hands from his father’s fingers, then making his way out. One voice underneath his heart pounded, telling the truth that he was unwillingly getting out. He just got around ten minutes to be his father’s side, after many years. And now he was about to step out. His feeling was ached.

But the logical brain win once again by forcing him to think inversely. As stupid as reasonable he could trace the thought, he snierked. Yes, Jung Yong Hwa. You’ve left this family. No reason to stay longer.

Yunho’s eyes ran over the younger’s movements, then stayed there, gaze encounter was inevitable between them. The unspoken words aired in silence.

Yong Hwa broke his gaze, another way to ignore, as he passed Yunho in the doorway.

Yunho was faster enough to grasp his dongsaeng’s arm, pausing his pace. Yong Hwa then stopped.

“Stay here.” Yunho broke, hardly and sternly. Turning his neck around, he witnessed Yong Hwa’s stiffness. “Don’t ever dare to run again, Yong Hwa-yah.” His anger bending with worriness softened his voice.

“I’m no longer a part of this family, Hyung.” He answered, avoiding Yunho’s glare.

Yunho tightened his jaw up. “You’re always my brother.” He drave along as Yong Hwa was shutted, “You’re Appa’s son, Omeoni’s son. You belong to here. You’re Jung Yong Hwa, a part of Jung Family.”

“I’m not—“

“Yes you are.”

“I’m not!” Yong Hwa’s patience came to the verge as he yelled out, inducing Yunho to shut his lips in one flip. Yong Hwa finally turned around to face his older brother in frustation, “I killed him.” He pointed a man who lyed on the bed so weakly in coarse sound, glancing at his father who was being placed between the thin thread of life and death. “I killed him, Hyung.” His voice trembled as he said the words.

Yunho shaked his head.

“I killed.. appa.” A thrill expanded to his hands as he hang his fingers onto his father direction, “How can I step inside this house as a son? I’m a murderer!”

“You’re not!” Yunho hated this sentence for the soul he carried everytime. He hated how Yong Hwa called himself by ‘a murderer’. He hated the thought of a killer. He hated the past. Yunho gripped the younger’s hanging hands to move down, eyes glimmering in long hanging pain, “Please.”

Yong Hwa was so rigid like a statue. Yunho finally took a position.

“Listen,” Yunho gulped, using the split seconds attempting to mutter other words after he dealed with a bitter feeling, “Just pay the redemption.” This was his goal: making Yong Hwa to come back here. And saying this sentence, indirectly, he himself pointed the dongsaeng as a murderer. He hated this way, trapping Yong Hwa dirtily. But he faced no choice. “If you feel wronged.”

He could witness Yong Hwa’s confused face being plastered.

“Be Appa’s side by living here again. Be the first to meet his opened eyes again, Yong Hwa-yah. Take a good care of him.” Gradually, he could examine Yong Hwa’s uneasy gesture, “Just pay the redemption.”

Silence broke to air Yong Hwa’s unspoken feeling. Yunho was right. He needed to repay his uncountable mistakes, his greatest fault. Moreover, he needed to cure himself from the black guilty hole which trapped him for long years. And there’s just one way, to be his father’s side, to be here.

Yong Hwa was stunned enough, no impulse to induce the thought anymore. He backed off as he loosened up his Hyung’s grip then walked way, without any words, without response.

Yun Ho watched Yong Hwa’s figure to be faded away in unwilling feeling, until someone patted his back and broke whatever the thought flying inside his head.

“Yunho-ssi?”

He spun around and found a pair of sparkling eyes beaming his surprised eyes. His face expressed a relieved to be caught by this girl. “Oh, hi.”

Seo Hyun took a light bow, gaining a form of little smile from him as a reply.

“What are you doing here, by the way?” Yunho asked, frowning.

“Hara is gone.” She grimed, getting sullen, “Your sister’s is uncontrollable, Yunho-ssi. I could give her a lesson, bad lesson. I could poke her anytime, and glued her body on her chair, right?” She spat without thinking the obvious position she was at, as a common employe towards the boss.

But Yunho was exploded. He laughed, being amazed by her brave sentence. “Right. She was disobedient, a spoiled girl. You’ll have a hard time, Seo Hyun-ssi. But, still, thankyou for taking care of her.”

“My job.” She answered, “And your job to help me find her.”

“Ne?” Yunho pointed himself out, “Me?” And this was the first time someone commanded him without platitude. Someone, he could say, some levels below.

“She’s your sister, not mine, I guess.” She rolled her eyes, “Beside, she’s in your house which is in charge, her house, too. I don’t know anything since this house was so much larger than my whole apartment building. And, she’s your responsibility, don’t forget.”

Yunho broke another laughter, obtaining a deep wrinkle on Seo Hyun’s forehead as she thought she was being serious.

He nodded, agreeing, “I know. Let’s search.”

Seo Hyun’s face actually brightened, “I passed thirthy minutes to be useless, aish!” A fed up mumble escaped on her lips, as she took a step to begin the searching. Yunho hung a thin smile while following her pace.  This girl has so much fun. Indeed.

*&^%$#@

Yong Hwa got drained after one hour working out at the evening. Running during this time was so much perfect and enjoyable, he thought. And getting seven rounds circling around the karate area was inducing his blood stream to flow faster, his body grew lighter and stronger. One he loved the most, he could regain a new energy.

He was about to take a water on the park couch in front of the main office, controlling his breath, when Jae Jong appearead and approached him, putting his body next to Yong Hwa. As a head of karate school, Jae Jong had much feminine appearance than a solid feature face on his. His jaw shape was thin and pretty slim, combined with a curved eyelashes, almost no man has. The perfect feature of his bulging muscles was the one everyone can sure actually what he really is.

“Your hour flight increases. Everyday you spend your time running and running. Feeling better?” Jae Jong opened the talk, gaining a playful grin from Yong Hwa after hearing the comment.

“Never this best, Hyung.” He answered, then snapping as he remembered something, “Ah, I shall leave from here soon, since my new apartment was almost done being renovated.”

“Ah, really?” Jaejong’s big eyes grew wider, “Fine with that.”

“Thankyou for letting me to live here for a while. It helps me a lot.”

Jaejong hung a warm smile, “Don’t mention it. You can come back anytime you want.”

Yong Hwa nodded, replaying his smile.

As a karate partner, and a close friend, Jaejong was more like his another brother. Meeting at the first time in Japan, as two Korean boys who lived next door, they got closer for the time walking. When he run from his life and trying to forget the pain, Jaejong was the person who introduced him to karate world. Then he loved it. He loved the shout when he pulled his energy to kick, to punch, to sway.  He loved the concentration he should collect when he was practicing. He loved the moves that wreaked every emotion he bore. He could think nothing if he does karate. And, he never got enough to thank Jaejong for all.

“Are you sure, you don’t want to go home?” Jaejong carefully asked.

He knew Yong Hwa hated this topic so much. That he was a former talented young guitarist, Jaejong knew it, but the reason why he escaped from something he loved, he had no idea. Yong Hwa chose to bury everything down, tidily on the corner, and never put them back on the surface. So he had no rights to dig them out. He just stayed silent, supporting every positive thing he could help this lost man.

Yong Hwa shrugged, “Take some visits, I always will. But moving in, that’s quite far idea.”

Jaejong nodded, understood enough not to interfere anymore. “I hope you’re still here around, and teaching karate. Students like you. You’re my asset.” He grinned.

Yong Hwa laughed, “I never thought to look for another job. I’ll be here.”

“Good,” He smiled, “Because I promise someone to have you as her private teacher.”

“Private teacher?” Yong Hwa formed a deep wrinkle, questioning everything. “Who?”

By the time Jae Jong got off from the couch after realizing someone was approaching them, unintentionally ignoring Yong Hwa. The head-school took a greeting bow to the approaching person, and when Yong Hwa spun around, he could catch a familiar figure wearing casual shirt and flower-pleated skirt took a pace towards them. Smiling. His eyes grew larger.

Seo Hyun.

Yong Hwa quickly stood up in surprise.

“Finished up with all the registration stuff?” Jae Jong asked cracking the silence, gaining a big question inside Yong Hwa’s head.  

The girl answered calmly, “Ne. Gansahamnida.”

“Here she is, Yong Hwa,” Jaejong backed to Yong Hwa, who was stiffened as the man predicted some bad idea would be muttered by the head-school, “Your private karate student.”

He needed a silence to digest the situation. And his eyeballs looked like will be out from its socket as he was jolted with the startling news. He took a glimpse at Seo Hyun who hid the smile inside the bending neck, then going back to Jae Jong in desperation mood, “Are you kidding me? Her?”

“I’m just serious as I always am.” Jaejong went straight, sounded sure.

“Why suddenly..?”

“Because you just keep circling around the hell, ing hell.” Jaejong said, gaining a full-gaped mouth of Yong Hwa. He inhaled to take another breath, before kept going something he should say frim long time ago, but he just couldn’t. “Everyone knows you’re lost, Man. And me, since the years passed by, can’t bear it anymore.”

“And now you’re going to against me?” Yong Hwa asked blatantly. Jaejong knew the unwell relationship between him and Yunho, how he attempted himself to avoid his Hyung and his family. Jaejong helped him to hide from the sophisticated and agile workers of his family who searched him, during these years, even Jaejong himself didn’t really know what the motives behind Yong Hwa’s act.

But now, it seemed different. The head-school felt like turning into another direction.

For Jaejong, this was the exact time to get Yong Hwa stand up on his shoes.

“I’m none of against someone.” Jaejong continued, “I’m no one in your past. But I’m your friend on your present. I hate you being lost. And,” He cut Yong Hwa to mutter another protest as the younger began to point Seo Hyun in hatred eyes, then Jaejong glanced at Seo Hyun, “She knew you better than me.”

Yong Hwa was out of words. He was pissed of. “What are you talking about?” He hissed. Stupid idea. Who is she anywhy? Wait, did I knew her? Fans? My fans since years ago, like she said? Crazy idea. How could I remember something fool like that?

“Get a loose, Yong Hwa yah. Don’t restrain yourself.”

Before Yong Hwa could utter another complain, Jaejong took a step first, walking away and leaving him the last encouraging smile and a friendly pat. And Seo Hyun stood there, giving him a light bow to accompany his leaving.

Then she turned his gaze to Yong Hwa after the figure of Jaejong diminished from their sight. Yong Hwa glared at her sharply, like wanted to eat her fully. She took another bow as calm as she could manage, getting a silent permission to go first. But Yong Hwa grabbed her arm firmly after one of her first step.

“What’s your real intention?” He asked in a deep low tone, getting fed up of her. “Why are you always interfering my life?” Why are you everywhere? What do you want?

Seo Hyun gulped, but she would never let him go. Not after the steps she crossed so far, not after the old memory. So she raised her chin, getting her eyes to meet him defiantly. “You already know.”

“I said I never come to your way as FNC employer. Over my dead body.” He clutched harder, Seo Hyun cringed as it got hurt.

“That’s!” Seo Hyun yelled, getting annoyed, pain, and dejected. “You told me not to do the actions behind your back. And now, here I am,” She tightened up her jaw, hissing, “I confront you.”

“What?”

“Let me go.”

Yong Hwa snierked, amazed enough by Seo Hyun’s bravery. He crumpled up his grip onto her hands, inducing her to wince in a pain. He lowered up his tone, glaring at all her feature of face like a monster, “You know the consequence to make me this angry, right?”

“I don’t care.” Seo Hyun abbled confidently, “All I care is your neglected music talent. I’ll never stop disturbing you until you come back to your sense.”

“Try it.” Yong Hwa challenged. “And you’ll regret.”

“I won’t.” She said more challengingly, “Because I know you. I know you love music. I know you’re in escape. I know you’re avoiding music in purpose.”

Their eyes went to a war as the gaze competition between them was tight and tense, like they always do when they encountered. Yong Hwa got a loose first. He restrained his piqued emotion as controllable as he could set. So he decided to release his strength on Seo Hyun’s hands, and took a step, started walking away.

“I’m not only your fans.” Seo Hyun muttered, gaining a pause on Yong Hwa’s pace. She continued after making sure that Yong Hwa was hearing, “You’re my music inspiration. You make me choose music pathway, and be here now. May you know my motives, that it was sincere, more than just a duty.”

Yong Hwa tilted his jaw and half-ly his head. He could see a glimpse figure of Seo Hyun when that girl took the last bow, turning around, and fading away.

Something inside his heart moved, something he had been hidden from a long time ago.

Who the hell are you? He was irriated. Seo Hyun look like someone who knew him more then he judged her. And he didn’t have the point to discover who Seo Hyun was. He hated it, suddenly. He also wanted to recognized her. He wanted to remember her in a time.

*&^%$#@

A spoiled child Jung Hara was lost again in the middle of a piano private class. As usual, almost the routinity Seo Hyun would face everytime they got a class: the nerve-wrecking situation induced by that mischievous girl. Searching the Jung’s little girl around the home was her job, and after thirty minutes, she couldn’t deny her exhausted legs needed some rest. She demanded a help. So she called a random maid who brought a glass of chocolate milk on a tray to stop the pace.

“Please, would you mind to help me find Hara?” She asked wearily.

The maid threw a puzzle expression before discovering her pretension, “Okay. But, wait. I need to go to Jung Yunho..”

“Give him this milk? I’ll do it.” Seo Hyun placed the tray onto her hands and carried it away before asking the agreement. All she needed was out of Hara’s matter for a minute. At least Yunho would throw her some encouragement to be patient of his siter, but she just didn’t mind of it.

She swept the corridors on the second floor and suddenly felt so stupidly lost. Idiot, why I didn’t ask where his room is? Pabo! And finally, all she did was a natural instinct, and a random guessing. She kept walking and decided to go to the room on the corner of the corridor with the largest brown doorleaf was located.

“Jung Yunho-ssi.” She tried to call him. “Jung Yunho-ssi.” And attempted again. As no response, she braverily knocked on, and when she still met no reaction, she opened up the doorleaf, and got in awkwardly.

The room was as bigger as her bedroom being merged with her kitchen and so living room. Very large and glamorous. So well-decorated and well-furnished. All she could see was beautiful pantings with luxurious manly furniture. Just like his taste, she said inwardly.

She stepped in, still being amazed, and looking for any direction to find him. But no one was appeared. So Seo Hyun put her decision to put the glass on the working table nearby. She waited for him, pouting while thinking and examining the room, finally taking his milk glass as nothing she could do anymore. She wiped the glass, playing with it, eyes were still running, and then finally studying the content and goods on his desk. Then her eyes stopped there.

Her gaze was stunned upon a yellow pencil inside the pencil tube she just discovered. A yellow pencil with her initial name on the tip of it: SH. Her mind run to the event, seven years ago.

“Can I borrow your pencil?” Yong Hwa asked her at music practice room, after two weeks from their first encounter. They were just meeting in silence afterwards, raising communication through music, and listening to others playing without talking and commenting. But she realized, she enjoyed everything he played. And eventhough he spent the whole presence in music room by sleeping, Yong Hwa indeed heared her playing sometimes, and never throwing a protest as being such a sleep nuisance.

Seo Hyun felt a burst inside her heart like it would be popped out. “Sure.” So she handed off her pencil to him, the yellow one, with her initial name on the tip of it like she always did to name everything she owned. Just to maintain not to be vanished, she thought.

She was extremely contended by that event. Finally he talked to her! She didn’t mind while Yong Hwa was going out first without returning back her pencil, like he just forgot about the pencil.

That was the last time she met him, before he was lost. And before, the crucial incident of her mother’s death crossed and made her to be absent from school.

Seo Hyun got thrilled. Why this pencil is here now?

“What are you doing?”

A low barriton tone cracked the silence, cutting off her fantasy. Someone caught her. She was startled enough to answer and instead of it, she dropped the milk glass from her grip and made the content spilled out accorss the table.

She lifted her head up. “J-jung Yong Hwa-ssi?” Finally she could mutter the name of the man who was standing in front of him in hair wet and wrapped by a towel-dressed. Her mind’s content was suddenly blown out of its brain. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s me who’s supposed to ask.” Yong Hwa looked so dejected, “What are you doing in my room?”

Seo Hyun blinked. And suddenly the situation between her, Yunho, and Yong Hwa made everything looked so bright and clear. She was just too surprise to know the reality, and the confirmation words was still escaped from her lips, “So you are..”

“Jung Yunho, Jung Yong Hwa.” Yong Hwa cut her question of, “Got it now?”

Seo Hyun nodded in perfect circle mouth which was still hanging on there for a while.

“Get my table cleaned.” He pointed his finger on her, almost gaining a complain before he barked, “You have five minutes.”

 The arrogant Yong Hwa never failed to make someone do whatever he wanted. He naturally got the authority, so Seo Hyun took some tissues silently and start moping the table. She kept her gaze to Yong Hwa, running wherever he moved his body around. And then he stopped his steps in front of the wardrobe, opened it up, and taking some clothes out.

“Don’t!” Seo Hyun reflexively yelled, making Yong Hwa to turn around and face her confusedly, “Just, change your clothes in your bathroom.” Then she looked away in baseless embarassment.

Yong Hwa threw a hollow laugh, mocking her, “You’re so funny.” And walked to the door in the corner of the room, slamming it as loud as he could to show her that he didn’t have that kind of mind.

Seo Hyun was just finished up the cleaning materials together with Yong Hwa who was done changing into his home shirts. Their gaze met once again before a maid knocked on his door to break the silence, “Jung Yong Hwa-ssi. Dinner time.”

*&^%$#

Seo Hyun felt so strange and oddly unfamiliar with this kind of dinner situation: being stucked in the middle of her boss’ family, her piano student, and her hatred yet inspiration man. All blent into one table, one event, and she awkwardly follow whatever the maids and Mrs. Jung offered to her. She became a ‘yes’ girl to anything. She located everyone on the moods: Yunho was brighter, Mrs. Jung was, she could say, not that contended and grateful, Yong Hwa was in usual solemn and reluctant, and Hara, magically, sat there cutely after the unfinished piano lesson.

“What make you come back here?” Mrs. Jung asked Yong Hwa while cutting the beef steak, didn’t look at him even once.

“Omeoni!” Yunho, who sat next to her, hissed in a warning. “Please.”

But Mrs. Jung didn’t a millimeters change her position. She put the diced-beef into while glaring at Yong Hwa who was absentmindly shrugging, cutting his own beef steak. “This is my home, isn’t it?”

“Then?”

“Ask your son.” He gestured his chin to point Yunho who forced a smile. Mrs. Jung piereced Yunho from the corner of her eyes, before she backed to Yong Hwa, “I’ll move out from here and Karate school, by the way. My new apartment will be finished.”

“You’re just here not a day yet!” Yunho protested, getting extremely piqued, “Yong Hwa-yah?”

“I didn’t bring any lucks in this house.” Then Yong Hwa throw the diced-steak into his mouth, chewing it rigidly. “Am I right, Omeoni?” There was a strange intonation while Yong Hwa said the word ‘omeoni’ and that deed could be read so easily. The relationship between this son and mother was in risky position, could be broken up everytime.

“So, Hara-yah.” Yunho attempted to melt the tense situation by calling the maknae, “How’s your piano lesson?”

“I’ve told you I do not like piano!” Hara shouted, pouting, and stayed sullen. She chewed her meals faster in anger.

Seo Hyun knew it, that Hara didn’t have any interest in piano. And as her piano teacher, she was nothing but sad. But she had a belief which lead her to the thought: someday this young girl would fine her dreams. She would try to help her, by the time walking.

And both Yunho and Mrs. Jung tried to control her by saying that music was good for her future, would increase her value as a person, would be beautiful way to enjoy music, and all. Seo Hyun put a little smile upon the warm encouragement Jung Hara gained, and suddenly getting surprise after hearing Yunho said to her, “So, Seo Hyun-ssi. May we hear your piano playing?”

She was surprised enough to follow Yunho’s direction: a piano behind the dining table. She thought for a while, catching a stiff expression from Yong Hwa. “Sure.” Then she got off, swaying onto the piano and getting ready.

“I love this song. But until now, I still didn’t understand what this song means. And always getting puzzled.” She smiled, gaining many pairs of eyes took a spot on hers. Yong Hwa looked so completely annoyed, he also prepared to stand up and leaving.

Then Seo Hyun began to press the first tuts, follow by the others, and others, move onto other parts and keys. Her fingers dancing accorss the black and white piano tuts, embodying with the melody, starting to pull her emotion into the songs.

Yong Hwa started his steps. Like usual, he hated music and every voice it made.

And than she played that part. A part he was magically familiar enough.

A part which was his own past hands was out the melody itself. Upon the notes paper.

He tigthtened up his jaw to control every scrambled emotion he bore this time. His heartbeat raced as a response, as the contain inside his head pounded to scream every memories which were very well-burried. One by one, everything flashed to roll back the moments from the past. As the remaining pieces started to jab from his brain, he clutched to gain any control.

The music score, the music room, the piano girl, and..

He run off to his room, frantically going to his desk, and roughly swept away every obstacles on his searchings. Then he found it. A yellow pencil. SH. Seo Hyun. He grabbed it and run back.

Then he discovered, Seo Hyun stood politely there, taking the last bow of her performance before muttering some information, “This is my very first song. Some of the parts were composed by someone who inspired me a lot..” Gaining a mini applause from his family, she smiled, then her eyes caught his.

Their eyes were locked once again, surrounded by unspoken silence.

Yong Hwa could witness the hope inside her warm eyes, asking him about the past.

Did you remember me, Jung Yong Hwa-ssi?

Before she could utter another single word, Yong Hwa run to her and grabbed her hands in sudden, “Let’s go.”

So she reflexively taking her bag eventhough she was startled in hell, and tried to mutely followed his pace due to his tight grip.

Following by the questioning expression of everyone in the home, and also family members, Yong Hwa swoop a key car and pulling her out by him. Then he pushed her inside the red car after they reached outside. If Seo Hyun was blanked, this was the first time she couldn’t think of any single thought. What is he doing?

She witnessed the abrupt reaction of him while turning on the machine, and after they were out of house gate, he asked, “Where’s your home?”