Seulgi

“Hyoyeon-ah, please bring this upstairs to your Jongwoon oppa. He’s not eating yet.” Auntie said as she put a tray of food in front of Hyoyeon unnie, who is seating in front of the table. 

Unnie frowned then look away, “Why would I?"

Auntie sighed. She understands why Hyoyeon unnie is acting like this. She’s mad at Yesung oppa. 

“Hyoyeon-ah, please. You understand my Jongwoon better than the others. You should know that he’s not capable of expressing himself, especially this kind of emotion; love. He doesn’t know how to handle it. That’s why he keeps pushing Yuri away. But we both know she is special to him. You know that.” Auntie said softly; trying to reason with Hyoyeon unnie. 

“Huh, special?” Hyoyeon unnie smirked. She looked at auntie with anger in her eyes. “He treats her like a garbage! He treats Yuri like bull! He doesn’t care about her feelings at all! He even asked her to die! And now he’s acting like that, like he regrets everything. That’s stupid. He can’t fool me. Tss.” she stood up and headed for the door and closed it with a loud bang. 

Auntie sighed then looked at Seohyun unnie. “Seobaby, would you please?” gesturing toward the food for Yesung oppa. 

Seohyun unnie nodded and bring the food upstairs. To Yesung oppa’s quiet room. 

Jessica is first one to break the silence. “Umma, I apologize for what Hyoyeon did. It’s been three years already.” She said and bowed to auntie. 

Auntie shook her head. “It’s alright. I understand that she’s still mad at Jongwoon. But I just want to explain my son’s side, how his heart and mind works. I know Yuri’s feelings were never one – sided. It’s always been mutual. Jongwoon loves her.” 

Jessica unnie nodded. It’s really been three years. 

Three years since Yuri unnie disappeared from our lives. And we have no idea where she is. 

“He just doesn’t know how to say it to her. That’s why he’s like that. That’s his way of expressing his feelings; by making her cry. Or mad. He doesn’t know any other way. She’s the only one who can bring out those kind of emotions from him.” Auntie sniffed. Tears are threatening to fall. 

“It’s been three years already and my son is still like that. He’s gone colder, more quiet that before. He locks himself upstairs in his room. He even stopped going to work. He stopped talking to his father. It’s like his world stopped circulating. He doesn’t show it to others but every day, I can hear his sobs from his room, calling Yuri’s name, asking her where she is. Even in his sleep. Most of the time, he will just stare into an empty space. It’s the first time I’ve seen him cry with so much pain. I’m his mother, I can feel it. His eyes were empty whenever you look at them. I pity my son. He’s feeling so much pain and regret now. And I can’t do anything about it.” 

Joy went to her and hug her. “It’s okay, umma. We didn’t stop looking for Yuri unnie, right?” She smiled. All of us nodded and mirrored her smile. Making auntie smile, too. 

Seohyun finally came back from Yesung oppa’s room. And her face is sad then she sighed. 

“Umma, Yesung oppa didn’t eat his food. He didn’t even open the door. I tried persuading him to eat, but still.” 

Umma stood up and go upstairs. We followed her and watch as she carefully open Yesung oppa’s door with bakc - up keys. We let umma come inside first as she looks for her son. And we find him in the corner, by the balcony, wearing his pajamas and white tees. He’s looking outside, his face blank with traces of dried tears. He looks wasted. Like really. 

Umma walk slowly and crouched beside his son, “Jongwoon – ah, let’s go eat?” she spoke softly. Like her words would hurt her son.  

We just stood at his bedside. We don’t want to disturb their conversation. And we probably don’t want to frighten oppa with our appearance. 

But Yesung oppa shook his head slowly. Not even speaking a word. He just continues staring outside. He’s like waiting for Yuri unnie to come back. 

“Jongwoon, you’re getting thinner every day because of the amount of food you take. I don’t want you to get sick. Yuri won’t like that.” Yuri unnie’s name got his attention. He flinched at the mention of her. 

But we were shocked when oppa spoke in low voice. Almost a whisper. 

“She’s not coming back, isn’t she? After years of trying to stick up with me, she finally gave up. Maybe because she finally realized that I will never love her. That’s why she chose to be away from me. She thinks that her love for me was wasted.”

His face reveals that he’s in so much pain. Without crying. He ran out of tears already. 

“But it’s not, right? She’s special to me. She has my heart. I love her. Can’t she see that?” then he smirked. “Of course she can’t. How can she when all I bring is pain? She keeps on crying because of me. All the wounds from being bullied in school. She doesn’t care about that at all. All she cares about is that I know that she will always love me.” 

“Maybe I got too sure. I got too comfortable that she will always be behind me, following me. I got too sure that I forgot that yes, she will always love me, but that doesn’t mean that she will not stop pursuing me. She got tired following me around, got tired of my insults. She got tired running after me.”

“It is tiring trying to catch someone who doesn’t want to be catch.”  

“But she can’t get away from me, right? She’s married to me. And when she comes back, I will let her feel every bit of my love for her. So that she will not leave me again. I will make her love me again. I will beg her to love me again.” He said with a smile but quivering voice. A smile that immediately disappeared and replaced by quiet sobs. And when I thought he already ran out of tears... 

Yesung oppa is crying. His tears don’t stop from flowing. 

I can’t help but felt shock on what I’ve seen. Yesung oppa is crying because of Yuri unnie. 

I turned my head toward the girls and see them crying silently because of what oppa said. I didn’t notice but myself is crying, too. 

If only Yuri unnie will hear this, she will definitely be happy. The love of her life loves her, too. 

After a few minutes, we noticed that Yesung oppa fell asleep. He cries himself to sleep. 

Auntie decided that we go outside already. She said she will return later to ask again Yesung oppa to eat. Then we rest at the living room. Nobody’s speaking. 

“Wait a second, did you ever wonder who exactly discharged her from the hospital? I mean, we are the family. We should know anything about that matter. It is actually weird that we didn't know how the hell it happened.” Jessica unnie said. Breaking the silence. “Someone is keeping a secret. One of us knows where she is…” 

Her statement makes sense. One of us know where Yuri unnie is. 

But who is it?

Auntie frowns, “You’re right, Sica. But who will keep it a secret? And why? Everybody is going crazy looking for her. Jongwoon… he’s literally going crazy thinking of her. And it’s getting worse every day.” 

“Yuri unnie’s parents… they disappeared, too. When we discovered that unnie is missing, they’re already gone. Could it be them?” Joy said in low voice. Wondering. But Wendy unnie shook her head.

“No. It’s not them. I talked with Yuri unnie’s mom that day. They’re gone because they are looking for her, too. It’s somebody else.”

“We should ask her other friends aside from us. They could be lying. Of course, they’re mad at Yesung oppa.” Seohyun unnie said. 

Then suddenly, something clicked in my head. I look at them, “Hey…” and they look at me in wonder.

“We should ask the nurse and the doctor again. They’re the last ones to see Yuri unnie before she disappears. THEY could be lying.” 

They’re eyes widened. They know I could be right.

---x---x---x---

Weeks past after that discussion. We found out that that both the nurse and the doctor left the hospital. So we’re back to zero again. 

But there are some improvements. Yesung oppa is going out of his room once in a while. He started to look for Yuri unnie, too. His smiles are slowly returning. Though, sadness is evident. 

One night, we are complete inside their house. Except for Hyoyeon unnie and Irene unnie that is doing her part time job. She should be home by now.

Suddenly we heard footsteps, we turned and saw Irene unnie with a bothered expression. Then she speaks, "Let's go to the living room. I'll tell everything. Call Yesung oppa, he needs to know this." 

So we all went to the living room and sit. Yesung oppa followed, but remained standing. 

“I know where Yuri unnie is.." 

We all stop moving. Even breathing, I think. 

Yesung oppa froze. All of us did. 

“W… what? How?” he said in a hoarse voice. 

“I found Yuri unnie, oppa." Irene unnie looked at Yesung oppa. "But..." 

"But what?" 

She sighed, "You should understand. They didn't know I finally found out where she is. I saw Heechul - sshi, Yuri unnie's doctor, this morning, entering a cafe in Seoul. And he's talking with..." She looks at Yesung oppa, checking his expression. 

Yesung oppa frowned, "Go on. He's talking with who?"

"...Hyoyeon unnie." 

Yesung oppa's eyes widened, his fists clenched. Turning white. It scares me. 

"Hyoyeon? But... Why would she keep this a secret?" Jessica said. Not believing what she said. 

Irene unnie continued, "I know, right? That's why I followed inside. Making sure they will not see me. And boy, they did talk in such low voices. I need to listen very carefully. Prevention, I assumed. They're making sure that no one will know about Yuri unnie."

"The first they talked about Yuri unnie's progress about something. Brain activity? I'm not sure. But Heechul said the damage in her brain is what slowing the coma, it extend unnie's unnecessary sleep."

"Brain damage? As far as I can remember, the doctor - Heechul, didn't mention anything about damage in Yuri unnie's brain. I don't understand." Seohyun unnie said, not comprehending anything. Just like the rest of us. Yesung oppa's face remained stoned. Mad. But still listening. It's Yuri unnie we're talking about, anyway. 

"That's exactly what I thought. But Heechul said something, something that scared me... and Hyoyeon unnie." Irene unnie continued. Biting her lip then looked at Yesung oppa with teary eyes. 

"Heechul said that unnie is the problem herself." she said. It's deep. I know it. Something's off with Yuri unnie's condition. Irene closed her eyes and speak again.

"He said that Yuri unnie herself doesn't want to wake up anymore." 

We all still and glanced at Yesung oppa. My heart clenched when I looked into his eyes. 

They looked so lost. Agonized. Tortured, even. 

Yesung oppa lowered his head to his hands. Not speaking. And suddenly, he tensed, turning his back to us. 

"I don't want to hear anymore." 

Irene unnie's eyes widened and speak again, loudly. 

"No! Jongwoon oppa, that's why exactly I came to tell you this. Yuri unnie needs you! Heechul said that if a patient in coma is not willing to wake up, then she won't. No matter how great science is. Yuri's losing it, oppa. Do you know how painful it is? Knowing that Yuri unnie, the strongest person I've ever met, is finally giving up." 

Yesung oppa's body is shaking and his fists clenched again. I wish Irene unnie would stop already. It's hurting Yesung oppa. But, he needs to know. Everything. 

The Irene unnie smiled sadly, looking at Yesung oppa. " You see, oppa? Yuri unnie loves you so much. She'll do everything for you. You want her dead? She'll give you that."

Yesung oppa fell to his knees, his hands holding his head. He's sobbing loudly. 

"Stop it! No! No! She won't leave me. No!" then he cried and continue to scream. It sounded like he's being tortured. 

We silently cry at the sides. His screams' overwhelming all of us. It's so painful. I wish it would stop. 

Moments passed, Yesung oppa's cries became quiet, though he's still on the floor, his body shaking. 

Irene unnie slowly went near him and touched his arm. Looking at him like she's looking at a wounded child then talk slowly, too.

"There's still chance, oppa. Go to Jeju Island and wake your love from her long and deep slumber. Bring back Yuri unnie. She's done fighting for you. It's your turn now to fight for her. Go oppa. Search for your love." 

He nodded without looking at her, just straight ahead. His eyes red from too much crying but burning with with determination, too. 

Yesung oppa left exactly that night. He went to Jeju to look for Yuri unnie without knowing the exact place. But he said it doesn't matter, if needs to flip the island upside - down just to know where she is, he will do it.

Good luck, oppa. Work hard to get Yuri unnie back in your arms. 

Work hard for your love.