I scribble down notes on my blue college ruled notebook trying very hard to ignore the fidgeting mess next to me. But that proves rather difficult because every few minutes of peace I find myself succumbing to, Junhong's obnoxiously long legs would resume quivering against the desk as if taking pride in making me slowly lose my equanimity. Just what the hell is going on with his anatomy that he feels the need to shake and twitch every so often?!

I narrow my eyes at him peeved by his inability to sit still like he's some teething two year old and look up to catch another tragic incident courtesy to Professor Park's unpalatable spitting problem. Everyone took the liberty of sitting three rows up from the front in the big lecture hall and the indifferent shrug he does before every class is evident that he knows this is an issue. I doubt he could do anything much about it though and in a way it is admirable how insouciant he can be. I know I'd be so embarrassed to talk, I'd probably opt out talking and bring post-it-notes to converse with everyone.

I offer the late student a small smile that doesn't meet the eyes as Professor's Park's saliva fires to his unguarded face and I can almost time when the panic and in denial cry of his eyes takes place. Poor kid. I shake my head unable to lift my head, meanwhile Junhong chooses that moment to shake his leg again and tap loudly with his pen.

"Junhong, can you please refrain from convulsing in class or take your shaking problem outside? I am trying to take pity on the poor late kid who just got showered in old man spit. Can't I enjoy the little bit of normalcy I can muster in our graduate university life?" I bark powerless to his trembling anxiety. Charcoal black irises seek mine out as they widen in confusion and then roll in comprehension of what I just said.

"Noona you're so weird" he responds albeit lamely, and the smile on my face stretches as he shakes his head at me.

"Which you should already know, but honestly can you stop shivering every 5 minutes? All that nervous energy is unsettling. Just spit it out-hehe- already!" I return tilting my head at him and prod him with my eyes despite the momentary chuckle I had for my own pun.

He shakes his head at me again probably because I laughed at my own fairly decent pun (in my opinion), but whatever. He sighs dejectedly and I realize this was more than just my lame joke and more so about last night's squabble.

"C'mon Junhong, stop worrying~ You'll be fine, okay? I'll be there to smoothen it out and make sure you don't fall inside the garbage can or something" I offer him a wink and his already faltering facade dissipates into a hopeful smile.

"Nice, want to add salt on my wound, too?" he beckons looking over my notes clearly not having illegible ones on his end.

"Not salt, but alcohol. It may sting, but it does the trick" I poke his arm with my elbow and he looks up to Professor Park recommencing his lecture or water work shows, whichever you prefer.

"Sounds pretty accurate to me" he grumbles scribbling in his overly tall as if I can't hear him right next to me. Yet, I ignore him and continue being a good student for the both of us. Someone's notes had to be good or else we would never get through this class. 

----------------BAR-----------------

I snake my fingers through my hair, arranging the strands together and check the small mirror on my locker to see how it's looking. I raise my shoulders and push my chest up to fix my horrible posture and tug on my white lab coat. I straighten my blue volunteer polo shirt and wipe any stray lint on my black slacks. I take one last look in the mirror double checking everything before I grab my ID and close my locker. 

I take a deep breath as I walk out of the dressing room and head out to meet noona by the hall. I turn the corner and see her clad in the same blue polo shirt, white lab coat and black slacks. She put her hair away in one of her classic buns and changed her bright orange lipstick to a pale--- one, which she corrects me about frequently. I slowly approach her, while she straightens her pants and she only acknowledges me when I nudge her arm. She rolls her eyes at me and starts fussing over my white lab coat.

"Junhong, there really is no way I can't notice you when you can make the ceiling look cramped. But anyway-" she pauses and cranes her neck to double check my face. She smiles, flashing her straight white teeth at me. I hunch and peer at her teeth checking for any lipstick stains. I give her a thumbs up. Sometimes, mirrors aren't enough, you know?

"Ready to go?" she queries and I nod faking the confidence that might just fool the people around me. She leads the way to the department and before we even reach the next hallway, in comes Nurse Min. Her blonde hair directing attention to her like one of those neon signs and she offers us a small smile. She walks in step with noona, while I hover behind them. 

"Hello unnie, how's the department today?" noona casually starts a conversation.

"Busy busy busy! I was actually on my way to herd you guys over! Junhong," she calls out and I poke my head out in between them. I rest my arm on noona's shoulders and noona moves over to the right to let me in. Nurse Min laughs while shaking her head.

"You two are like one entity split in two different bodies. I think you guys are more in-sync than most of the machines at the lab" she comments while I look at noona and my hand resting on her shoulders. I take my hand off noonas shoulder and lift it up, while shrugging my shoulders. 

Nurse Min laughs again, louder this time and it echoes down the halls like her voice usually does along with her ebullient personality. I watch her eyes disappear into slits and her head bobs lightly. Then, I turn my head over to noona to see what's so funny when I see her hands mirroring mine in a less elaborate shrug.

"I swear it's never on purpose" I chime in and she nods while clutching her clipboard. 

"That's the point! Well, anyway, Junhong you're going to be shadowing Doctor Jang again today while he works with the intensive animal care unit and Soohae, you're going to be working with me and Doctor Chansung with the new arrivals." Nurse Min looks up from her board and I nod at her fighting the sudden sagging of my shoulders. Great, I'm gonna be trap on the other side of the department the whole time. How am I suppose to ask her anything?

Noona looks over Nurse Min's clipboard and tucks a loose strand of her hair behind her ear still smiling widely from the mention of Doctor Jang's name. She may or may not have a huge crush on him well ever since high school really, but she claims it's just "loving from afar." 

"Unnie, can I shadow Dr. Jang instead? I've been on arrival duty since we started and I'm sure Junhong feels the same way about being in the intensive care unit." Nurse Min taps her pen on the clipboard and motions for us to keep walking. 

"That might not be such a bad idea, since I wouldn't want you guys to burn out so soon." she pauses with a touch of banter rolling off her tongue. "You know where it is right?" she asks noona as her steps quicken and the hallways become more familiar. We turn to the right and wait for the sliding doors to let us in the Veterinary Department.

"Yup, just the opposite end of where you guys are going" she supplies smile so wide, but she bites it down and tries to be professional. I roll my eyes at her feeble attempt to be indiscreet.

"Okay, alright. You can go to Doctor Jang then" she gives in fully now and turns to her right to go to the other unit.

"Thanks Unnie and I'll see you later Junhong!" noona waves us bye as she heads to the left. Nurse Min nods not even turning around, so she misses the childish smile on noona's face and the wink she gives me. I wink at her back knowing her courageous sacrifice isn't just for my benefit and may have more to do with her obvious infatuation over Dr. Jang. 

She turns around heading to her unit and even starts skipping there. Yup, she is killing two birds with one stone in this one alright. I chuckle at her before taking huge steps to catch up to Nurse Min. I swipe my hand nervously over my hair again and try to slow my breathing. I mentally cheer myself on for good measure and open my mouth to start a small conversation when she turns the knob to our unit and we step in. 

My eyes jolt out of their sockets for a brief second as I silently count the number of occupants present in the room. This was twice or nearly three times as much as I ever get to see in the intensive care unit. People old and young fill up the black velvet seats with their pets ranging from small hamsters to one really drooly Saint Bernard. The receptionist at the desk sees us come in and the way she lights up at the sight of more assistance makes me take a huge gulp of air. 

"Thank god, you guys are finally here! Dr. Chansung is attending to one right now, but he should be finished soon. A number of them here are just due for shots or yearly physicals, so nurse Min you can do those, while Junhong, you can prepare the room for this patient and wait for Dr. Chansung" Nayeon, the pretty brunette receptionist fills us in and Nurse Min logs on to the computer. Nayeon shows her the list on her computer of the people awaiting our service, while I log myself in as well. 

She hands Nurse Min one of the papers and then Nurse Min calls one of the owners over. A lady with her pet French bulldog stands up, smiling and follows Nurse Min to the check up room. Nayeon hands me another set of papers and I call over Mr. Yang who is accompanied by his two sons. A small white puff ball follows one of the boys and her tail wags excitedly at us. 

"Hello, sorry for the hold up we've been very busy today, but we'll get--"

"Sul(Snow), her name is Sul" the tiny boy pets the Pomeranian's head and she leans into it.

"Yes, Sul will have her check-up safely with Dr. Chansung. So if you can follow me into this room and I will set it up" I motion for the room right next to the one Nurse Min is working on. I turn the light on and open the door for all three of them. They all go in with little snow in the arms of their father. I replace the white sheet on the examination table and direct their appa to bring Sul on the table. He obliges and Sul plops down tilting her head at me. 

"Has there been any problems with Sul recently?" I ask as the two boys try to reach up at the table. I put on a pair of blue gloves and lower the height of the table so they can see her. Sul remains seated, her tail wagging from left to right and attention towards them. The father smiles at me, assuring Sul's great health and I place the paperwork for Sul on a clipboard. I take one of the pens on the pocket of my lab coat and ask them regular questions about Sul to double check the information.

Then, I disregard the clipboard on the table and pet Sul's head. She averts her beady eyes at me and caresses my palm back.

"Hello, Mr. Yang is it?" a deep baritone calls from the door and I look up to see Dr. Chansung walking in the room.

"Why yes hello. You must be Dr. Chansung?" the father asks while Dr. Chansung confirms his identity with a short and crisp handshake.

"Yes that is me, and I see that Junhong here has got you guys situated- oh hello~" Dr. Chansung extends his hands to shake the hands of the two boys and they both take it with a big grin on their faces. Dr. Chansung always had a way of making everyone feel like they were right they were suppose to be. He reassured everyone and treated them all the same, which explains how the kids were now looking at him like some sort of celebrity.

"I'll assume you have accessed their paper work?" Dr. Chansung queries while I hand him the clipboard and he double checks everything. He goes down the list of information with his pen and then looks up with a nod.

"I thought you might have forgotten since you've been working with Dr. Jang this whole time, but I see our training has stuck with both you and Soohae~ Good job" he raises his palm to pat my shoulder, but aims a little lower and grazes my arm instead. He tilts his head and notices the few inches I've managed to snag this summer and laughs.

"I can still remember when you were just a head shorter than me and now I have to reach up to even pat your shoulder. You've really grown up" Dr. Chansung's big eyes smile into sideways crescent moons and I can't help the warmth beneath his words both literally and figuratively. "Okay, so I'll lead with the test today, but if it's okay with you Mr. Yang, I would like to give this opportunity for Junhong to guide me through a physical exam? Of course it is completely alright if you would prefer not to" Dr. Changsung asks Mr. Yang, while I try to put my best I am a efficient worker face, but still staying neutral and not looking too eager. Don't wanna seem too desperate.

"Uhm well I think the kids wouldn't mind seeing someone else young like them manage big kid stuff like this" the father supplies looking at his kids and they both nod enthusiastically. I try not to let that build any more pressure bubbling in my stomach and take a deep breath. Just remember the routine like they always advise.

I pet Sul's head one more time for reassurance and nod at Dr. Chansung to aware him that I am ready to start. He nods back at me and I look at my audience before opening my mouth and starting with the procedure. "Well a physical exam requires a full examination of the body to see if there are any infections or any other problems in the overall health of your pet. For dogs, it is usually advised to start with the head and go down to the legs. So, to start off, Dr. Chansung will check Sul's eyes using small circles to push the eyeballs back and assess if there is any abnormalities and discharge there." I keep my voice steady and try not to ramble so fast so Dr. Chansung can hear my explanation and so will Mr. Yang.

Dr. Chansung takes two gloves from the drawers and puts them on. Then, he pets Sul and gets her situated comfortably on the testing table. He traces small circles by her eyes and observes them as he pushes her eyeballs to the back. He leans on the table to check if there is any discharge or abnormalities there, but everything looks clean.

"It is also a good time to check if there is any blemish on the skin by her face" I add and Dr. Chansung nods while caressing the fur on her head, then going down by her eyes to the sides of . He brushes her fur the opposite way it grows and continues to inspect any blemish to see if she is suffering from any parasites. 

"Nope, she is clear and has very nice and shiny white fur. You've raised her well~" he smiles and I check that off the papers and add the comment on the clipboard.

"Then, we have to check the condition of her teeth by examining the sides for cracks or any redness on the gums." I direct Dr. Chansung to her teeth and he slides his fingers down to and lightly pull the side of up to check on her teeth. There are no cracks on them and her gums have no redness to indicate gingivitis. He presses on the guns with his thumb and swipes it down to see how quickly it changes to red and see that both sides show no signs of infection.

"Good as well and the gums are healthy" Dr. Chansung reports and he uses his other hand to pet her once again.

"Then, we have to check the inside of for any lumps and bumps inside" I continue and Dr. Chansung slowly opens from the front and peaks for any abnormalities there. She whines a little bit as it can be uncomfortable with her head leaning back like that, but it had to be done to make sure nothing goes amiss. The boys encourage Sul by petting her tail and the she stops whining. 

"Sul-ah, mianhe(I'm sorry), but we just have to check that you are healthy from head to toe. It will only be slight discomfort until we're done" Dr. Chansung coaxes Sul and lets her the back of his gloved hand. I open one of the cabinets and find the treat bag. I take one of the smaller bone ones out and hand one to Sul.

Dr. Chansung shakes his head. "And when is the time to hand out treats?" he throws at me and I grin back.

"Usually at the end of the procedure to commend a job well done, but there are exceptions when the pet is behaving extremely well and can be given a treat to reward such behavior or also at times when she is feeling a little more anxious than usual" I smile, proud of myself and pet Sul's tail along with the two boys.

Dr. Chansung shakes his head at me again, but the malice is far from his facial expression. "You have been spending quite a lot of time with Dr. Jang. I see he is rubbing off on you" he comments and I laugh a little as I remember Dr. Jang's inability to resist baby-ing all his patients, especially the small fluffy ones. He just couldn't help himself. "So, what's next Junhong?" Dr. Chansung commands me to go on with the exam and I take a quick look at the clipboard to double check any missing information on them.

"Next would be the nose and then the ears. For the nose it is good to make sure it is moist and that there isn't any discharge coming out of it or on the sides" I state as he swipes his thumb over Sul's nose.

"Good as well" he informs and then goes to the ears. He resumes petting her head as I assist him in holding her to the table. He places his left hand under her jaw and uses his right to bend her ear to his line of view to see if there is any redness or discharge. He leans towards her ear and draws his nose close to it to check if there is any smell and then, does the same to the other side. 

"Good girl Sul~" He her head again and slides it all the way down to her tail. "Everything is clear, but let me check further using the otoscope." Dr. Chansung adds as meticulous as ever and very ardent at taking all the measures to ensure prevention of any risk. I go through one of the cabinets by the door and find a small one that would most likely fit into Sul's ears. I hand it to him and he places it inside Sul's ear to see if he missed anything. After checking one ear and changing the magnification, he moves on to the other ear and checks that as well. He gives me another quirt nod and places the otoscope on top of the cabinets.

"Next would be to examine the condition of her neck and feel for any swelled up lymph nodes" I recommence and he brings both his hands up to her neck and massages his fingers there to check for any swelling. He does them in small circular motions, going clockwise and slides his fingers to the right when he finishes two rotations in one area until he is by the base of her neck. The boys keep comforting Sul by petting her tail and her back to encourage her to comply to Dr. Chansung's examination.

"Her condition here is good as well, no swelling and the skin is once again blemish free" Dr. Chansung reports and I scribble it down the paper. Dr. Chansung checks her back legs as well for any taut muscles. Sul gives in easily this time and even snugs her paw on Dr. Chansung's arm as he massages her legs. I laugh and the father chuckles along with the kids while Sul lays her head on the crook of  Dr. Chansung's elbows.

"Someone is enjoying herself "He caresses the top of her head again with his free hand before giving her another round of his massage. "What's next on the list Junhong?" he asks while smoothing the fur he just upturned with his massage.

"Time to check her pulse and her breathing using a stethoscope" I inform Dr. Chansung and he pets Sul's head before he slowly moves his arm away from her. He puts on the stethoscope wrapped around his neck and places the end on her chest area. He listens for her heartbeat in various areas making sure there are no murmurs, which would indicate turbulence in the heart valves. 

"Are you a doctor?" one of the boys questions while petting Sul's tail.

"Er-- Not yet... I'm studying to be one right now and as part of our schooling, we have to assists doctors in these procedures" I reply smiling at him and hoping that he doesn't think that makes me incompetent like some owners have done.

"That's cool~ You look tall like a grown-up, but you also look young like me!" the kid supplies and his brother nods his head. I sigh at them relieved and feel a smile tug at the corner of my lips. 

"Then, we should check her abdomen area and check the organs and any deviant masses forming in this area" I supply more confidently after that nice complement, while Dr. Chansung takes off the stethoscope and repositions Sul closer to him.

"How old did you start working with animals?" the father asked while Dr. Chansung presses the tip of his fingers on Sul's abdomen. He taps them against this area to see if any abnormal growth has occurred. He pulses them twice then, moves them over until he has thoroughly checked her whole abdomen. 

"I mostly started in high school with my friend. There was a really great veterinary care club(VCC) in our school and the doctors like Dr. Chansung here use to visit and teach us demonstrations. We enjoyed every minute of it and asked if we could volunteer at their other facility." I reply and Dr. Chansung gives me a thumbs up signaling a healthy abdomen as well.

"Junhong and his best friend were one of our best students and we were more than glad to let them work with us again" Dr. Chansung added with a fond smile that showed those crescent moons again.

"Wahhh~ a veterinary club in school? Daebak!" the boys eyes sparkle a nice chestnut brown.

"They really want to be good doctors to help others like Sul one day, and I think you just peaked their interest even more~" the father adds and a soft warm feeling envelopes me and the confidence glows even brighter.

"Thank you~ I always liked animals when I was younger too and I think you guys will love it~" I offer them the best smile I've conjured all day and feel relieved to feel good after all the anxiety this whole weekend. They smile back and I check the clipboard again for the final touches. "Afterwards, we have to examine the functionality of their legs and check the condition of the bones-" I instruct as Dr. Chansung spins Sul's back leg in a small circle to check her hips and knees.

"As most things, you're gonna have to study a lot though, but you also learn from volunteering and shadowing doctors during exams like this one. You really get to see what are required for you as a veterinarian and if this is something you want to do with your life." I add, while Dr. Chansung does the same for her other back leg and listens for any cracking or popping noise.

"Sounds amazing! Daddy where do we find a clinic to volunteer at?" one of them tugs at their father's pants.

"You guys are still a little young to start--"

"No! We'll be fine and they'll see how good we are if they give us the chance!" the small boy refutes clearly a little disheartened, but he stands straighter and nods his head determinedly. The father pats his son's shoulder, but the kid keeps his stance.

"Well you are a lot younger than me when I started, but doesn't mean starting earlier is a bad thing-"

"See daddy! Mr. Junhong here agrees with me!" the boy jumps delighted, but I quickly defuse it so the father doesn't feel like I have no respect for his parental authority.

"But, when I started they made me do a lot of smaller jobs as a volunteer before I really got to watch the doctors, so if you start now you'll probably be doing a lot of standing and small tasks before they feel you're old enough to do other things. So, I think you should enjoy your free time now with your friends and family because later on when you get to my shoes, you won't have a lot of spare time to do all those things anymore." I reply and brave looking at the father who seems pleased enough with my answer and the wrinkle by his eyes disappears. The boy slumps his shoulders back to the way they were earlier and they both look at each other before nodding obligingly.

"I guess you're right" the boys says sheepishly.

"It doesn't mean you won't get practice and it starts with taking care with your own pets, which I'm happy to say you guys have done a great job at by the way you took care of Sul. She is very healthy and obedient. Amazing job boys!" Dr. Chansung praises and once again the light in the kids' eyes are back and they are reassured. Like I said, Dr. Chansung has a way of making everyone feel like their efforts are seen and appreciated. He makes you feel more sure of yourself and gives you that belief that you are right where you should be.

---------GAIN----------

After a few more physical exams and some small procedures, the long line of patients outside the hallway gradually decrease in number. I begin to resume that efficient routine they engrained in me last summer and the checks become smoother as we go on. With the last patient getting ready to discuss billing with Dr. Chansung, I walk out of the room and spot nurse Min saying goodbye to the last patient of the day.

She casually waves them goodbye as the woman with her cat walk out the door and then she sags her body down the comfy chairs on the waiting room. "Mondays are always so hectic my goodness!" she calls out and Nayeon nods her head sighing into her chair behind the desk.

"Seriously! I was nearly panicking when all those people came in and most without an appointment..." she musters and I turn to one of the water dispensers and get some cold water. I hand one cup to Nayeon who smiles at me and then give one to Nurse Min...definitely not shaking a little as she meets my hand halfway.

"Thanks Junhong! How was working with Dr. Chansung? I hope your first day back here wasn't so stressful" she adds taking small sips of her water and sighing resolutely into it every time she took a sip.

"It wasn't so bad. I remembered most of the procedures and he's still as interactive with me as I remembered, so I feel more confident the more we do them" I casually slide to the seat next to her and try with all my might not to shake my leg since noona pointed out how annoying it is, but it also seems to calm me down a little...Or maybe it exacerbates the situation which is why I couldn't stop feeling like someone was hammering something to my chest earlier.

"Oh yeah! One of the reasons why I love working with him. Although watching Dr. Jang handle surgeries so calmly is also one of my life goals. He really gets in the zone once he's doing them." Nurse Min discards the paper cup into the trash bin next to her.

"Definitely! Sometimes I forget where I am and just continue watching instead of double checking the procedure and read the data from the machines" I confess and Nurse Min nods her head.

"One time I even forgot I was suppose to be helping with the surgery" she laughs and it echoes in the room I stare as her hair shakes again. "For a brief moment of course and then I got my stuff together." she adds and I smile.

"Nayeonnnah, can you come here for a sec and help us with the billing. This new program always fights with me~" Dr. Chansung calls from his office and Nayeon clicks a few more times at her mouse before getting up and walking over there.

"I'll be right back-" she says closing the door behind her and then the sudden emptiness in the room dawns on me. Ohmygod! Now's my chance. what do I say....

"So uhh--- do you always dance after your shift?" I manage to speak cohesively although the ending of that sentence was less than eloquent and I hope it didn't show so badly.

"Dancing? Oh right! Last week." she pats my knee and I stiffen by the sudden contact. Get it together man.

"Yeah I definitely wasn't expecting to see you there-- I mean not that I think you wouldn't have rhythm--  no of course you'd have rhythm because well you sure do-- with the way you danced and got to do that solo and all..." I continue feeling the walls enclosing on me and taking air and my wits along with it. I feel hot air slowly emit from my cheeks and keep my eyes by the door. I sneak a quick glance her way, but then she averts her eyes to look at me, so I quickly turn away and look at the door again. I think I even stopped breathing at some point because when I hear a slight crack from the door, I gulp a huge whiff of air and swallowed before I finished breathing the air in.

So, my throat starts to burn like I swallowed water in the wrong tube and a coughing fit ensues. Nurse Fei who opened the door comes running towards me and I feel Nurse Min's hand on my back. She's patting it and I try not to wheeze because I'm becoming even more unattractive by the second. One of them hands me water and I take it making sure I separate my breathing and swallowing water down into two different mode of action and lean my head against the wall. 

My breathing finally evens out and I let a few more baby coughs to just get it out of my system. Dr. Chansung pokes his head out the door and looks over at us." Are you okay?" he voices the question I see mirrored in Nurse Min and Fei's eyes and I nod sheepishly awaiting my end. This always happens. Tragedy after tragedy just when I was getting good with my physical exams earlier.

"You sure? I hope we didn't over work you too bad today" Nurse Min comments, her eyes so round and intensely looking over me that I feel even more self-conscious.

"No.." I say pushing my voice out and frowning at how hoarse it sounds. "I'm okay just--" I pause and force a cough out to relax my throat. "yeah. I'm okay but if you don't need anything else?" I reply still feeling the remnants of the burn and the rasp in my voice worsens as I speak. I suddenly stand up feeling a simmering heat at the tip of my ears and now pulsing against my neck. 

"No. you've done well today Junhong. I'll see you--"

"Thursday. I'll be back Thursday and well thank you everyone and I'll uh--see you then!" My voice turns into a whispery mess by the end of my response and I bow awkwardly before springing back up. I don't dare to give Nurse Min or Nurse Fei any more eye contact and wave at Dr. Chansung before rushing out the door as untroubled as I could manage.

"God just bring a whale to swallow me whole please. I don't care how you do it when you do it just let it swallow me--" I the top of my volunteer polo and speed walk as fast as I can out of the damn hallway. I don't need to give them anymore reason to question my social abilities and getting out with a nice cold breeze is gonna ease the blasted heat of embarrassment that's spreading all over me.

I jog to the exit out of the veterinarian unit and pretty soon my legs just pick up speed and I am literally dashing out of the whole hospital. I make my way to the front of the building and then catch a sight of a bench at the side by the entrance. I make a run for it and get through the sliding doors. Upon reaching the bench, I fall hard on its wooden seat and snug against it to ease the violent ramming against my chest.

I close my eyes and my elbows automatically rest on my thighs as my palms nestle through my hair and stay at the sides of my head. "ughhhhhhhhh!" I grunt and mess my hair up before sighing the frustration out and leaning back into the bench. I bang my head against the back of the bench repeatedly trying to erase the last 10 minutes muttering pleas for a whale attack.

"Er-- you okay?" a weight falls on the bench as a person takes the seat next to me and my head whips to the side to see to whom do I owe the pleasure.

"Dae--Daehyun?" I say mouth agape and just---

"What am I doing here?" he adds and I close my mouth and nod.

"Easy, the show's cancelled because Himchan is feeling sick, so I opted to eat dinner with Youngjae who had a meeting close to the hospital, so I told him I'll just wait for him here. But, the hard question is why are you grunting on a wooden bench looking like you want to run towards that ambulance truck?" he smoothly alliterates not missing a single beat and still manages to breathe through his nose and out from his mouth. Why can't I do that?

"Ha, nicely put-" I reply not able to let the sarcasm at bay. I draw my hand out on the arm of the bench and drum my index finger against it's metal surface.

"Rough day too?" he asked and I nod without averting my eyes his way. "Say no more! Mine hasn't been a ray of sunshine either... Not when these exams are coming for my injured and I'm stuck with lazy rich kids in a group presentation that no one has started besides nerdy me..." he grumbles at no one in particular, but the cars driving by to pick up their loved ones are easily the one his eyes land on as he mutters with his eyes narrowed and nose flaring.

We stay silent after that, stuck in our own disappointed bubble and I take comfort in this chance to just sink into my own thoughts and be allowed to be miserable once in a while. Everyone always wants a smile and think a quick pick me up does the trick, but it's also good to just revel in those ugly emotions and ride them out. This way I can exhaust all the possible outcomes and instant replays in my head (painful as they may be), and finally kick them out of my mind.

"God, I wish I took something else that didn't stressed the hell out of me, but of course I had to actually like children and taking care of people in general...my mistake for finding peace in helping other people...-" he mumbles again almost inaudibly this time, but surely loud enough for me to hear since I'm sitting right next to him. I don't even think he remembers I'm here.

"But you are really good with children" I add and that eases the grip Daehyun has on the bench and lets them fall at his sides as he turns to address me. The lamppost does this weird trick of illuminating his caramel skin and I swear I can even see the natural curl on his dark eyelashes as he bats them close and open. That little mole is there beneath his eye and his hair falls over them. The noise of the cars beeping each other becomes a muted buzzing and those brown irises dive into my soul and blurring all the lights around us like they're the out-of-focus part of an image that is centering only on Daehyun's eyes.  

Guys can have nice curly eyelashes. Noona complains all the time how it's unfair that most guys have them, so it really means nothing that Daehyun's could be comparable to those of women's. Then he parts his lips visibly saying something, but I can't hear it over the buzzing from the cars which was muted from before but now is suddenly drumming hard against my ears. So, I stare at them. At his plump lips, so plush and pink and once again similar to those of attractive women like...i don't know um... Angelina Jolie?

And yeah, subjectively speaking, women with nice plump lips are appealing, so it would be sort of ist to say Daehyun's lips aren't...well-- uhmm nice-looking because he's a boy. That would just be very backwards of me to strictly categorize nice lips as a woman thing and there's clearly nothing wrong with admitting a boy has nice eyelashes that curl at the tips and well shaped lips in these times. Just stating facts and subjectively taking in my surroundings.

"Junhongg? Hey!" I feel a right smack on my shoulder and I didn't even notice when I got my back off the bench to face my body towards Daehyun. I jump from the impact and turn my head to see noona and Youngjae next to each other.

"Why are you staring at Daehyun's face so intensely?" Noona asks and I feign innocence because okay I was staring but it was purely scientific you see and I actually was looking at his eyelashes and his lips, so technically she's too vague and therefore wrong. But that doesn't stop the slight heat I can feel coming back to my ears, ing can't trust them and I quickly lean towards Daehyun and brush something off his hair to make it seem like that was what's distracting me. This however proved to be a bad idea, because claiming close contact to Daehyun's neck and then his hair only resulted in me breathing in his scent(only natural reaction you see), which was a mixture of fresh minty men's shampoo with a hint of lemons. The smell invades my olfactory receptors and I had to grit my teeth and push myself away from that inviting smell.

Let the record know that I love freshly out of the shower smell the most and lemons...well that was something I learned I just might actually like, so once again this is just normal and a observational scientific thing. "There was something in his hair" I comment making sure Noona knew why and understood my point because she seemed like she needed a little more convincing that nothing unconventional was happening here. 

"Alright, well anyway, Junhong you won't believe what happened!" she says visibly jumping on the sidewalk, and glowing like the moon up in the night sky.

"Enlighten me" I reply and give a casual wave towards Youngjae as he takes a seat next to me.

"Well, actually don't be upset or anything because it was all just happening at once and I thought you may have already asked so I just went with it and---"

"Just get it on with it-" I command not really one to cope well with anticipation and she meets my eyes before confirming to go on.

"Okay yeah. I'm blabbing, but I was talking to Dr. Jang-- he's fabulous as ever, thanks for asking but anyway, he asked me about this coming weekend like plans and stuff while I was heading to your department and we bump into Nurse Min and Fei on the way. They overhear me talking about the pool party at Youngjae's place and well they sort of just mentioned how a pool break would be just the best way to end these stressful few weeks. So, seeing the opportunity so clearly in my eyes. I asked them to come along and mentioned how you were saying the same thing and would've invited them too." she squeals and roughly shakes my sides, while Youngjae high fives her afterwards.

I smile just from the sheer happiness on noona's incandescent face and laugh along with her as she crosses her arms and her lips pull into a smug smile. "Aren't I the greatest?" she asks, but I'm sure she's not really looking for an answer and I just nod my head too taken by the happy energy around me. Youngjae pats my shoulder for support and I chance a glance at Daehyun who was watching noona looking completely proud of herself. He catches me as I was about to look away and winks. Freaking winks with those curly lashes batting at me again and no, I did not smile a little wider because of him. That was just the thought finally hitting me and that woah I was gonna have a chance to chill with Nurse Min. Yeah. Super daebak!

------------ING-------------

I lean my left hand on top of the counter and extend my right one as I balance at the tip of my toes and hope that my finger can reach the fruit bowl on the top of their kitchen cabinet. Why they decided to put a fruit bowl in the top most shelf is beyond me and of course I, the smollest of the bunch had to volunteer getting plates and the utensils for the pool party not knowing that reaching these things was gonna be a problem.

I jump, lifting my feet off the ground and for a brief moment I graze the bottom of the bowl, but then I lose my balance and land back down on my feet. Disgruntled, but still determined to do my part, I press my back against the counter and place both my palms on it as I kick my legs up and lift my into the counter. I sit there for a second catching my breath and keep my body close to the cabinet as I extend my arm again. I squat at the edge of the counter still coming up a bit short and then proceed to bend my knees on the counter and legs sticking out of it. I keep my grip on the cabinet with my left hand and then use my right to finally grip the fruit bowl.

"Yes!!!" I exclaim excited to finally reach this damn fruit bowl and then within seconds it slides away from my grasp and I had to cling into the cabinet by the pull of it.

"YAH! What the heck?!" I yell finding my center and quickly turn around and sit on the counter top to glare at the rude intruder of my victorious moment. 

"Sorry not sorry, but watching you--" Yongnam shakes while laughing robustly at me and even holding the refrigerator for support.

"You were watching the whole damn time and didn't do a single thing?!" I yell incredulous. Is he serious?! I narrow my eyes into angry slits and pierce his laughing face with it. I try not to grab the dish towel near me and throw it on his amused face. 

"Well you looked so determined up there I didn't wanna ruin your concentration-" he jokes again and this time I do throw the towel at his face, but he ducks in time (stupid soccer reflex) and hear someone else groan instead. Naturally, Yongnam laughs even louder clutching his stomach this time and I quickly get off the counter to apologize to the innocent bystander.

"Oh my god! I'm sorry that was suppose to be for Yongnam!" I run towards said victim and bow in apology before looking up to see Yongnam's features staring back at me. I make a double take confused, but then straight black locks fall on his ears and those shaved eyebrows come into view. I step back a little in shock and he looks at me finally looks at me instead of casually by-passing me...rude ...

"It's alright and here-" he takes the towel now in his hands, rolls it in a ball and throws it without warning at Yongnam who is as caught off guard as I am. I revel in the sudden yell of shock that comes out of him before the towel lands square on his disbelieving face and then it's my turn to laugh insistently albeit it sounds a little more obnoxious than normal, but who cares?

"What the heck Guk?" Yongnam takes the towel off his face and I stick my tongue out at him, but slightly still managing to hide behind Yongguk in case Yongnam wants to pull a fast one on me. And I was right to assume so as I see him curl the towel at the corner of my eye and I nudge Yongguk as a sort of truce since he did hit Yongnam for me, but then Himchan steps in rather dramatically that you can't possibly disregard him.

"Excuse me, but where's the fruit bowl and all the other stuff? I'm hungry and need my daily nutrients as a growing boy!" he demands hands on his hips and then looks at Yongnam's hand behind his back about to throw the towel, and me and Yongguk hunched by the island table to dodge it. "How can you guys play games and not invite me? I feel left out!" Himchan huffs and grabs the towel in Yongnam's hand and makes his way towards the island. 

Yongguk tugs my arm and we move to the opposite direction Himchan is walking in and then hear another splat and Yongnam's yell. "Channie- what the !" he yells and we raise our heads from the islands abruptly like squirrels on the hunt and see the towel falling off Yongnam's face and Himchan laughing by the counter.

I laugh again and Yongguk high-fives Himchan as Yongnam grumbles and glares at Himchan. "Bros before hoes" Himchan quirks his brow at Yongnam, but then, he smirks back at Himchan and grabs the towel from the floor. He makes his way to the sink and that's when I take my cue to run out of the kitchen. Yongguk follows me close behind and I can hear Himchan screaming from behind us. I hesitate and almost turn back, but then I catch a glimpse of Yongnam encircling his arms around Channie and attacking him with kisses. 

Okay, nope. Must continue running and dragging a supposedly "clueless" twin brother with me. We make it out of the house in record time and I keep a watchful eye behind me to make sure he doesn't see what's going on back there. Then I hear loud laughter and splashing water sounds coming close. I head to the right to where all the sounds are coming from, but then Yongguk takes my arm and steers me to the left.

"The pool is this way" he says and I tilt my head confused, but since he's been here he should know where he's going. I follow behind him and we walk on those stone paths you see on TV. After a few more steps, we turn and spot a small pond in the center of this mouth dropping garden. I gawk at the small bonsais and lilies decorating the pond. Then, all the lavenders on the left by a small gazebo and multi-colored chrysanthemums. A nice gradient of purples, reds, oranges, and yellows. 

"Daebakkkkk~" I couldn't help standing frozen on the stone path as we approached the wooden gazebo decorated with orchids. I crouch down on the stone and can't help but reach out to the bonsais by the pond. The leaves feel freshly watered and smells like the back of my father's shop. I move my body to the center of the pond and cup the lily flower feeling right at home and smile at the well taken care of garden. The koi fish silver, orange, yellow and variations of all three swim by the lilies and flock to the small waterfall. My father would be so excited to see this, especially the chrysanthemums.

I get up carefully after touching a few more lily flowers, following the stone path and almost forgetting Yongguk's presence. He stays by the gazebo checking out the orchids and I crouch down to the yellow to orange to dark red gradient chrysanthemums by the entrance of the gazebo. "These are beautiful, my father would love these!" I graze my finger tips on them and I hear a small chuckle behind me.

"Himchan mentioned your father worked at a flower shop. Said you grew up with it, so I thought you'd probably enjoy Youngjae's garden since everyone just sees it aesthetically, but I can imagine how much more this is for you" he states in that deep oceanic voice he has and I can't help, but turn around and smile at this small surprise. 

"Thank you, really. This is beautiful. I have to take pictures and show my appa!" I hurriedly take my phone out of my pocket and take a couple of snapshots of the flowers and even an in depth video showing how healthy the leaves and petals are. 

"You want me to take a picture of you with them?" he asks stepping next to me and I hesitate for a second before handing him my phone. I stand next to the chrysanthemums, but he motions for me to sit at the edge of the gazebo entrance close to the flowers. I nod and sit down, while he counts me off. 3. 2. 1. Click. Click. Click. 

He gives me a thumbs up before approaching me and handing me back my phone. "Thanks!" I say checking the photo out and thank God my smile isn't crooked and I don't look unhappy to be here. I have a bad case of RBF(resting face) you see. 

"Yeah, no problem, but we should head back. They're probably looking for you" he says and I get up from the gazebo, swiping the back of my shorts for any stray leaf or dirt and continue on the stone path back to the other side of the house. We make it back to the noisy laughter and splashes and when I make the turn to the pool area. Himchan comes running towards me.

"Thought you got lost in this great big mansion!" He throws his arms around me and I am squeezed tightly against his chest.

"Is that noona?" I hear loud footsteps coming towards me and then out of nowhere a loud splash of water and some even hitting me, but most is being covered by Himchan, who shakes violently from the cold and then lets me go in a hot minute.

"Who the fu---"

"Everyone in the pool!" Jackson hollers out and before I even have a chance to walk away, I feel a hard push dragging both Himchan and me to the pool and the cold water swallows me into the bottom of the pool. I stay in the water just relishing in the cold despite the rude awakening and slowly paddle my arms up back to the surface. There is laughter and other splashes resonating in the pool and I just smile. Himchan is beside me splashing Jongup hard in the face and I make my way to the side to get away from the splashing. I feel a sudden tug on my leg and kick away before Junhong's head pops up beside me.

"Where'd you go?" he says lifting himself up easily, grin on his face and sitting by the edge of the pool.

"Just took a detour to their garden. It's gorgeous. Have you seen it?" I say dipping my head back in the water and then climbing up to the edge with Junhong.

"Nope. Himchan mentioned it though and so did Daehyun. Apparently it's his favorite studying spot" Junhong shares while looking over at the guys splashing and making a mess. I look around and see other girls I've never met before and some other guys too. "Some big party right? I don't think we've been to one of these in so long!" Junhong snakes his hand through his hair smile fresh on his face and I nod along with him.

"It really has! Any sign of Nurse Min?" I ask and take the liberty to check the area for a brilliant blonde head. Not able to spot one I look over to Junhong, whose looking over by the white lounge chairs near the pool. There is Junior basking in the sun's bright rays with a striped cerulean towel between him and the chair. A girl is on his left also sunbathing with a striped pink towel underneath her and a towel on her face. To his right is a sun-kissed Daehyun under a shade of an oversized umbrella reading a book in his hands with headphones in his ears. He's the only one still clad with a shirt and he looks like he's lost in the pages of his books. Per usual the rest of the guys are shirtless and in good shape which makes no sense since most of them eat like they've been starved for days. I clutch my white shirt a little tighter thankful it's covering the lines on my stomach.

"Earth to Junhong?" I snap my finger by his face and he turns his head at me.

"Huh? Oh uhm-no. I haven't seen her yet. Have you?" he asks head falling down sheepishly. He's probably nervous. 

"Nope, but she said she'll be here. You okay?" I ask and is met by another silent response. I follow his line of sight again and find myself staring at Junior who is now happily chatting with the girl on his left. I turn my head to see why that's so captivating to Junhong when I realize his eyes aren't really towards the left. I shift my gaze to the right and there Daehyun finally puts his book down, Youngjae's sitting next to him, talking and laughing about something and this time minus the shirt.

"Is there something in Daehyun's hair again?" I ask a little louder this time and that somehow gets his attention and he shakes his head like I'm a crazy person for even asking.

"What? No? I don't know why you're even asking me that..." he splashes some water with his toes and I quirk my brow at him.

"Well you were looking so intently over there again so I figured there was something on him again." I reply and he laughs a little more throaty than usual.

"Oh, no. I uhm--er-- I'm thinking about getting a tattoo." he blurts and I tilt my head at him.

"Really?" I asks a little taken aback and he nods. 

"Yeah. Just thought it would be cool to finally get one, but I'm not really sure where to get it..." he elaborates and Youngjae starts waving at us. I wave back thinking it was just a small hello, but he points towards the house and a hint of blonde hair pops up. Nurse Min is here. I look at Junhong and he gets up from the edge of the pool.

"Let's go then-" he says as Youngjae and Daehyun make their way there and Junhong looks at me first before he starts walking there to. Moment of truth,

-----------💙----------

I don't know what it is about attractive people, but every time I find myself around them, I just turn into the biggest blubbering mess.

"Soohae! Junhong! heyyy~" Nurse Min calls us and Nurse Fei, Suzy and Jia also waves as we approach them.

"I hope you're really okay with us bringing the rest of our crew here-" Nurse Fei interjects and Youngjae quickly dismisses that thought with one of his business-casual smiles.

"What- no, really! The more the better. I am Youngjae by the way, the owner of said house" he says shaking everyone's hand and Daehyun plays along and shakes their hands too although he knows all of them from the hospital. They laugh, a chorus of girly giggles that makes my stomach churn and reminds me that I have to somehow attract one of them. "There's food being served at the sides of the pool, lounge chairs free for use and...unfortunately abuse-- YAH! STOP SPLASHING AT THE CHAIRS AND UPSETTING JARVIS OR YOU'LL BE DOING HIS JOB LATER!-" Youngjae's momentary cool is intercepted by the rough play the boys in the pool are taking part in and a disgruntled looking butler whom I assume is Jarvis, takes out a mop to keep the walkway by the pool dry and prevent any untimely accidents. 

The boys stop abruptly after being told off, and proceed to nod their heads and go to the middle of the pool to continue their childish splashing around. Back to his professional air, Youngjae only gives them a moment of attention by rolling his eyes and smiling back at us. "If you just excuse that side of the party, I'm sure you'll enjoy yourselves~" he adds smiling saccharine white.

"I'm sure we can manage that- thanks again for the open invitation. Unappealing as that is-" Nurse Min indicates to the boys in the middle of the pool- "the prospect of a pool day on the other side is amazing!" she continues and Youngjae takes that as his cue to walk them to the other side of the pool where Junior and his girl have moved to clearly not having the water splashing either.

Youngjae chats happily with Nurse Jia and Fei with Daehyun, while we accompany Nurse Suzy and Min. "Have you guys been in the water?" Nurse Suzy asks directing our attention to the pool. "Unfortunately yes," noona replies and both nurses quirk their heads a little confused.

"We we're both pushed unwillingly into the water so the unfortunate part is for that, but other than that and the sudden contact of cold water, everything feels great being inside" I remedy and they smile, blonde and dark brown hair bobbing in excitement. Yes. I didn't stutter! I mentally congratulate myself.

We reach the lounge chairs and the girls proceed to drop their things on the lounge chairs and take off their shirts and shorts. Already shirtless and ready, I sit at the edge of the pool waiting for them to finish and let the cold water try to calm the remaining buzzing of my nerves. They follow suit sitting beside me and noona on their left. They slowly dip their feet in and then their legs as they sit down.

"Hey, why don't we play a game?" Daehyun suggest as he sits next to noona and Jia, Fei, and Youngjae sit next to him. 

"What kind of game do you have in mind?" Nurse Jia asks and Daehyun smiles all bright and slips into the pool. A small splash spreads mostly just brushing against noona and Jia's thighs. He dips in and we see his shadow cruise beneath until he reaches the steps and emerges from the water. He walks out of the pool, and the water rushes down and traces every curve and outline of his body. Up from his hair, down to his eyes, then jumps off the tip of his nose, and plummets down to his abdomen. It runs down lower and lower until it makes contact with his blue-green palm trees swimming trunks. He snakes his hand through his dark brown locks still grinning at us.

"Is there a point to all that?" Youngjae shakes his head and a second later Daehyun disappears to the table with equipment. "Seriously what the f--" Youngjae complains and I look at the girls to see if they share his exasperation, but their all ogling over Daehyun. Can't really blame them since that display was something----.... because you know he er-- swims well. 

"Let's play Volleyball!" he says throwing the ball up, and then bumping it with the insides of his arms. The ball flies over the pool and lands by our feet. It splashes again and this time a bit more explosive, but the girls agree with fervor and all dip into the pool. Another sport with them. Hhmm, I wonder how this will play out.