Being friends with Himchan means a lot of things and that includes being taken away from my bestfriend duties as a careful watch guard to go and get some "fresh air"... whatever that entails.

"Soo Hae, cmon!" Himchan whines calls for me by the door of Daehyun's room as the morning light intensifies and the sun reaches the peak of its rotation. I take one more glance at Junhong's still form accompanied by his slow and lazy breathing. His dark roots are peaking out and he almost looks 10 years younger when we took naps by the Han River. The sun would be hot on our skin and the grass sent goosebumps on our bodies after immediate contact, but he always offered his white button down shirt for us to sit on. Both to make it at least a bit more comfortable and to piss off his mom who at that point he argues he can't stand, but I'm sure he craved her attention just the same. 

"Coming~" I say a few seconds later and make sure the blinds are shut, so the sun's rays are faint and won't disturb the peaceful ambience he's in. I slowly walk out the door, not missing Himchan's arched brow and omniscient smirk. I roll my eyes knowing his insistence for what isn't there will probably never get old and I can't deny the reinforcement I just provided, but feign innocence anyway.

"What?" I ask placing my hair behind my right ear and he looks at me before he smiles full of teeth and sugary sweetness.

"Nothing" he draws the words out maybe hoping for a dramatic confession, but I just shrug my shoulder and that jerks my hair out of place. "Just so you know, psychology gives you quite a bit of insight and--"

"I don't know what you're--"

"Nostalgia, I presume?" he cuts me off with impeccable timing and I momentarily let the shock of his accuracy tug at my nerves. But it's only for a moment and I can't let his annoyingly sweet smile intimidate me now if we're going to be friends. He wouldn't appreciate a lack of challenge. My sisters never did and it's sort of fun to have this relationship with people other than my sisters.

"Or just my unfailing sense of obligation to fix things" I remark offering an equally sickening smile and he laughs before tucking the loose strands of hair away from my face.

"Yes, definitely that! Now let's go before your best-friend wakes up and heaven forbids you miss it!" He says with all the theatrics he can imitate mouth agape and right hand carefully masking his indecent tongue exposure.

"I didn't know you were religious?" I say opening the door and waving at Youngjae with his male doctor friend whose name I can't remember, but presence and help I greatly appreciate. 

"Only when it fits the situation." He nods at Youngjae and gives an overly flirty wink at the male doctor making him flush involuntarily and Youngjae laughing out loud.

"Definitely not right now though" He says with an apparent smirk. Leave it to Himchan to always leave with a bang.

--------------A---------------

"So you took me out of Daehyun and Youngjae's place to go here?" I asked incredulous and yet totally not surprised.

"Don't be so prudish. You've probably seen worst as a doctor-to-be I'm sure~" Himchan doesn't even spare me a glance as he strolls through the durable glow-in-the-dark boxer brief stands with a wide selection of bright neon rainbow colors.

"You do know I'm studying to be a veterinarian right?" I say awkwardly smiling at the male salesman that Himchan shooed away all so elegantly, like he's one of his servants that needn't bother to interrupt him and his afternoon tea.

"Well where's the fun in that?" He finally directs his attention to me, not even bothering to be complacent about his comment because he is too busy choosing between the neon yellow or blue. "Which one do you think should I get?" he queries holding out both boxers in my view and disregarding my blatant discomfort.

I stare at them knowing all too well that Himchan means business and resort to taking the task as objectively as possible. Coming up with nothing other than why not both, I think of my father and how he would handle customers who couldn't figure out which plant would sit well in their homes. First he would find a similarity or soft medium between potential owner and plant. In this case, neon yellow is all flirty and sweet like Himchan, while the neon blue is unmistakably a scene stealer, which is also very Himchan. Next, he would also take into account what the buyer wants from the plant and how they want to be viewed. Well for obvious reasons he needs underwear, not that I wouldn't peg Himchan to be the "I'm so beautiful watch me walk around stark because my skin is luminous under the moonlight type." 

"Does it take you this long to choose between undergarments?" He looks over them again, brow arched from my lack of reply.

"What do you want your underwear to say about you?" I question opting to follow my dad's unfailing Flower Decider Checklist and feel stupid when Himchan gets quiet and his face becomes completely blank. Maybe that was only meant for flower related stuff.

"Hm...I never really thought about that. But I guess something along the lines of Underwear is for the weak, watch my and package fill out this --" 

"Ummm?" I whisper loudly if that even makes sense, feeling extremely indecent and check if the salesman or anyone is near the premises.

"Oh right, clean version. So I guess... Who needs clothes when I got an an as--cheeks! Cheeks as sweet and plump as cake and my pride and joy so majestic, watch it--"

"No! Holy no!" I flail my arms trying to make it stop and Himchan outright laughs all elegance forgotten. I feel the heat in my neck spread to my face and pray to god the workers ignore us.

"I'm sorry Soo Hae, but watching you externally panic was priceless. I'm just messing with you~" he says laughter still at the tip of his lips and hands gripping the stand from his fit.

"Not funny" I narrow my eyes at the stupid underwear in his hands, too embarrassed to look up and give him the satisfaction of seeing the blush on my face.

"I'm sorry honey~" he looks at me tugging at my cheeks and squishing my pout away. My frown deepens and his smile fades. "Okay, that was a bit crude even for me, but I'll treat you to some bubble tea if you stop looking like a kicked puppy left out in the rain...with whatever other extra treat you'd like~" he wiggles his brows animatedly and his brown eyes bore into mine.

"Fine, I forgive you" I mutter looking away from his hypnotic eyes. "And honestly, I was more terrified that you think about underwear like that..."

"Not me" he dramatically denies- "Yongnam. We're boxers shopping for Yongnam."

"Right--"

"They keep tearing apart, so I just have to get--"

"I'm gonna go wait outside, byeeee!" I hurriedly run to the door.

"Wait you haven't even helped me pick a color!" Himchan runs after me nearing the door and I internally cry. Just pick a damn color and this madness can end.

"Get the neon purple. It matches the teams' colors" I yell right before I slip out the door and walk a few feet away. I'm never passing by that store again even though Calvin Klein has some damn good underwear.

-----------------T-------------------

Himchan gets the glow in the dark boxer briefs, neon purple to my surprise, and the whole freaking rainbow set because he wanted to see how they would look. I nod my head content with his lack of enthusiasm to explain further, and digress on my bubble tea and other yummy treats. We go back a little after, stopping by a flower shop, which fuels Himchan's growing fascination about my florist background...well my parents anyway.

"Whoa, so he really bases people's personalities after the flowers he recommends them to buy?" He asks as we wait for the elevator at Daehyun and Youngjae's apartment.

"Yeah, actually the question I asked you earlier was one he usually used and is part of a checklist he swears by" I confess and Himchan seems to light up in vehemence. At least we're on safer ground and nothing of the embarrassing sort.

"I love it! It's like psychology, but with flowers! Why didn't I think of that?" he exclaims startling the old man getting on the elevator with us and making him twitch involuntarily. He bows his head and apologizes, while the old man nods him off and going back to his newspaper. He leans in closer to me and I try not to smile at his attempt to be quiet and almost bashful.

"So he reads into people's demeanors and habits? And Gets to know them other than the basics people show?"

"Yeah...I guess you can say that, my mom helps a lot too. My dad never really makes a decision without eomma's opinion~" I supply and tell him about the story of my dad refusing to sell flowers to this one boy who was very ill and wanted to send his lover away, so she can move on and live her own life after sitting through his sickness for over 3 years. Other than notoriously trying to change the boy's mind, my dad stared at the white and pink tulips expressing deep love and apology. He figured that was what the boy wanted to say to his devoted lover, but in the end he chose to side with my mom on the Pink Carnations that rang of optimism and a message saying I will never forget you. 

"That's beautiful~" Himchan comments sounding far away and lost in his own thoughts.

"I know." Feeling a proud surge at Himchan's approval of my parents' jobs. It may not be much to people, but they bring the little joys in an everyday life and say things we can't always articulate through words.

"It's so selfless and daring.... I want one!" Himchan pipes in forgetting his bashfulness as the elevator door opens and the old man walks out.

"A flower?" I quirk my brow and he smiles all giddy with excitement.

"Yes~ I want you to pick one for me!" he beams at me and I gulp.

"Is this some kind of test?" 

"No. I just- I want to know what kind of flower I would be" he answers honestly and I nod trying not to feel the pressure behind those words. I look at Himchan, sinking in his features and the events of our friendship so far in hopes of describing who he is in flower terms. I consider all the his quirkiness, his sass, and dig in deeper from the big hearted motherly figure he displays.

DING! The elevator door opens and we both jump. 

"You don't have to tell me now, just tell me when you think you've got it, okay?" he says as we head to Daehyun and Youngjae's apartment. I nod determinedly not really one to back down from a challenge, but also at a complete loss. Himchan rings the bell and the door is opened by bright ash blonde hair.

"Hey hyung! Everyone was beginning to wonder when you'd turn up again and oh, hey SooHae!" Jackson casually chats and opens the door widely for us to come in.

"Had a bit of freshing up to do. I see the gang is all here." Himchan smiles as a chorus of hellos and loud banter echoes. I wave them all a small greeting and wonder if all this noise is actually waking up Junhong. Curious, I head to Daehyun's room and as I turn the knob to open the door, messy curls poke out of the door. I almost fall forward from the force he uses to open the door, but he quickly steadies my shoulders accompanied by some more wiggling eyebrows. Is this like their group's shared expression or something?

"Hey Soohae!" Yongnam pats my head. "Just finished chatting up with our Crouch here, and you'll be pleased to know he is completely awake and taken care of~" he smiles amicably and then steps out of the door for me to go in. 

"Remember Junhong, don't do anything hastily until you've really prepped for it~" he winks, holding out three fingers, and I turn to Junhong who looks completely mortified.

"You okay?" I ask and Junhong turns even paler and his eyes freeze for a fraction of a second before he pushes himself up on the bed and moves his hands briskly against his pillow. I come closer and he fidgets some more. "You look like you've seen your own birth video or something" I joke, curious if all this awkward/frightened vibe is coming from whatever Yongnam meant by taken care of. Junhong twitches and his ears are a tomato color.

"Please don't say anything remotely close to that" he groans.

"Hello to you too and what's with--" I sit on the edge of the bed next to Junhong when I notice something poking out of his pillow. I tug it out and he quickly slaps my hand and snatches the book away.

"What the hell-" I yell rubbing my hand and grilling him. He jumps, dropping the book and reaching out for my hand. I take that moment to seize the book on the bed and the words Kuma Sutra pop out in this new edition of for Dummies book. My grip on it falls, and it bounces off the bed and into the floor.

"Well then. I'll leave you to it" I say while hopping off the bed about to step out of the room as Junhong groans again.

"It's not what it looks" Junhong tries to explain and I don't even know what to make of that.

"Are you preparing for a hot night out or?" 

"What? Nooo! How is that even possible with the way my body is hurting right now?"

"Hmmm... Well, that's not really.." I mumble and Junhong groans for the third time and closes his eyes in what looks like frustration, but who knows with these change of events.

"Are you gonna tell me or should I come back at another time?" I draw out the end of that sentence waiting for a reaction or even a non-verbal response, but Junhong's face just tightens, clearly weighing his options.

"Okay, okay!" he mutters begrudgingly, shifting his gaze towards me and I wait for him to continue. "My leg was feeling uncomfortably on the bed, so I moved to a position where I could--"

"Umm I don't really need details--"

"No! Not like that! My leg was going numb okay? So I was moving, when I heard the door open and Yongnam comes in with that smug look on his face. I should've known then that that was a sign of foreboding torture, but I thought you know, he's probably worried and just trying to brighten the situation. But like hell he was, because then he hands me that book for some reason and other things I would never like to speak of. Giving me a talk I never want to recall when all I wanted was to move my leg, so I can sleep some more. But no, things had to get super awkward and honestly I just to drown in alcohol so the memory of this morning will go away forever!" he shakes involuntarily and sinks into the bed.

"What kind of other things?" I joke and he narrows his eyes at me, hair sticking out everywhere and ears still very red.

"I said never!" he yells and I burst out laughing from the insanity of the situation. 

"Trust me, my trip out the apartment with Himchan was awkward too, but yours beats mine by a mile!" I chortle even louder as the discomfort deepens on his face and he sinks even further into the bed if possible.

"This isn't some contest noona and stop laughing at me!" he complains and I fall back on the bed, clutching my stomach so I can get a hold of myself. The look of absolute horror on his face earlier makes so much sense now and that odd advice Yongnam was giving him before he left. Ohmygod.

"Thank you, really. I am pleased that my pain entertains you, but would you kindly call the doctor lady, so I can get out of here before he comes back with another book or more weird things!"

"Doctor lady?" I sit up, the giggles finally leaving me and good, because my cheeks were starting to hurt from all the muscle straining. 

"Yeah, the one who was here last night checking my pulse or whatever" Junhong looks at me as a matter of factly and I tilt my head to the side.

"Uhhh.... There wasn't a lady doctor here..." I reply and Junhong looks at me completely bemused.

"What do you mean? She had dark hair, red lips, lab coat, and put the stethoscope on my chest and everything..." he explains, but the only doctor that was here was the guy Himchan winked at.

"So did you tell Yongnam all this before or after he gave you the book?" 

"What are you even---" Junhong glares indignant and then it hits him and I can tell it does because the red on his ears spreads to his neck. "She's not some fantasy I made up!"

"Okay, sorry. I couldn't help it, but there seriously weren’t any lady doctors. There was only one and trust me he's definitely not a lady with red lips" I add and Junhong opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it. We sit in silence, his eyes avoiding mine and taking refuge at the open window, while I take in the contents of Daehyun's room.

Harry Potter posters on one side of the wall, dogs on the other. Everything is clean, crisp and there's so much white. Books stacked neatly on the table and a big calendar on his closet door with vibrant post-it notes and stickers. Daehyun is very orderly and I find myself staring at an old soccer championship photo beside his books. They all look so sweaty and messy, but the smiles on their faces are beaming even through the photo. Then, a loud involuntary growl fills the room and Junhong stiffens under the blankets.

"Want a snack?" I offer getting up from the bed and willing him to look at me. He nods still fixated on the view outside the window probably embarrassed and I crouch down to the floor. I take the book and place it on his lap.

"Be back in a sec" I call out before I leave the room and he looks down at the book before shaking his head at me. That's more like it. I step out and walk to the kitchen where the boys are feasting on Chinese food and cola. 

"How is he?" Youngjae co-owner of the apartment asks in between bites of his egg roll. 

"He's doing okay. Well, okay enough to have his appetite back" I add as Youngjae gives me room to sit by the table.

"That's good. More than I can say for Daehyun" he wearily informs while stuffing a plate with more fried rice necessary, sweet&sour chicken and an egg roll. 

"Is he okay?" I stop filling a glass of water and look at Youngjae who finally notices the large amount of rice he is pouring on the plate. He slides some on to his and sighs making his shoulders uncharacteristically slumped.

"Joo-won, the doctor says he's doing okay, but he hasn't woken up yet so I'm just a little perturb" Youngjae sighs again, abandoning Junhong's plate and bites into his egg roll.

"Well he's the doctor, so he knows what he's doing. Daehyun's probably just tired and in a really good sleeping position because Junhong only woke up due to his legs going numb" I add the bit of information, hoping to cheer Youngjae up and Jongup who has been silently eating and watching us, shoves the rest of the egg roll into Youngjae's mouth before he can say anything. Youngjae leans back surprised and Jongup demonstrates a chewing motion at him as if he forgot how to eat or something. Youngjae chews, kicking Jongup under the table and passes me the plate. 

"Thanks!" I take the plate and leave the two to it, Jongups muffled chuckling loud in the background. The living room is filled with the rest of the group, with Himchan and Yongnam seated together in the midst of all the eating and howling at the TV. I turn the knob of the door again and take a short glance at the other room Daehyun is currently sleeping in. He's going to be okay. I remind myself before going back in and handing Junhong the plate of food. He turns away from the book still in his lap and evidently kicks it before taking the plate. I go back out to grab his water and see that Jongup and Youngjae are now tackling each other. I quickly step out the kitchen and go back in the room with Junhong.

"I see you can move your hands and legs with no trouble" I comment after the silence seeps in and he nods mouth filled with food. 

"It still hurts, but it's a lot like the pain I get after an intense dance workshop, so I think I'll be okay to move around by tomorrow...with a lot of wincing and maybe some limping" he messily informs in between his loud chewing.

"That's the spirit! And unfortunately, more than we can say about Daehyun..."

"What happened to Daehyun? Is he okay?" he abruptly stops and looks up from his food.

"I'm sure he is, he just hasn't woken up yet. But, I can imagine he wasn't rudely awoken like you might have" I reply and Junhong chokes on his food and shoves water down his throat. He calms down after awhile and I wearily gulp my saliva.

"You don't think Yongnam went to him either do you?" he asks finally finding his voice, eyes wide with anticipation, like my answer depends on something bigger than just a simple opinion.

"I wouldn't think so and even if he did, he would have been dealing with an unconscious recipient anyway. But why would it matter if Yongnam went to visit him? He surely wouldn't be giving Daehyun any weird advices...I mean why would he?" I ask making my way to the chair I slept on the night before and finding my bag. 

"No idea, but I didn't think he'd do that to me either and look where we are now" Junhong quickly replies, stuffing his face again, and I take out my laptop. I sit back on the chair and open the notes I was taking yesterday.

"Good point and while you continue to attractively consume your food, I'm gonna read some of our notes out loud for this week's quiz" I slump on the chair and Junhong smiles at me crookedly with food in between his teeth. A snort comes out of my lips and he smugly winks at me before I start reading.

---------------T-----------------

We leave their apartment a little while later, after I showed them my ability to move around with a bit of help and lots of mumbled swearing. We take a quick visit in Youngjae's room and find Himchan there with a finally awake Daehyun. He smiles at us like nothing is wrong and I apologize a total of five times before we leave the room. We overhear Youngjae asking Yongguk if he has time tomorrow to take notes for Daehyun during his classes. Youngjae says Daehyun will be okay, but he might have to call tomorrow off since he isn't recovering as fast I am. Daehyun's lectures are apparently very important for exams and the thought plagues my head. Feeling the guilt heavy in my chest, I in the conversation and offer to take the notes for Daehyun. Youngjae reassures me that it's okay, but I insist and we thank them for everything before we head back to my apartment.

"I guess I'll have to brave class by myself tomorrow then" noona settles onto her makeshift bed with lots of pillows and blankets on the floor.

"I'm sorry noona, but I feel bad making Daehyun miss class because of me...and he's also under a scholarship, so I can't just not try to help" I plea and noona sits up.

"He's under a scholarship?"

"Yeah" I move to the edge of the bed to show the picture Youngjae gave me of Daehyun's schedule and how it says he's a scholarship recipient below his name. I try to ignore the pain of abruptly moving like that and noona nods her head in approval.

"Makes sense with how hard he studies and don't worry about it Junhong! I would probably do the same if I was in your situation." she smiles and crawls back onto her bed. I make my way slowly to my pillow and turn off the light. 

"Good night noona~"

"Night Junhong!" and that is the last thing I hear before the exhaustion of the past two days and the familiarity of my bed lulls me into a nice long sleep.

-----------------R------------------

"Junhongie what do you think?" A startling brown-eyed lady with red lips and curly dark hair spins elaborately at me. I nod in agreement and stand up feeling oddly over dressed in tight black dress pants, white button down shirt and an Egyptian blue corduroy vest. She giggles at me, still spinning at a slow pace. 

I take a hold of her wrist, playful smirk tugging at the edge of my lips and pull her close. Her dark curls become wild and fall in her eyes. I tuck them behind her left ear and my eyes fall on her now peachy lips. Confused, I look up and noona winks at me. I arch my brow but she tugs at my hand and leads me away.

I don't move for a bit, but she calls me over, pigtails bouncing with the wind and her blue dragon dress sways in motion. She's 10 again. Small hands and feet, big brown eyes and she clutches onto her favorite pink hello kitty lunch box. Taken in by her affable smile, I let her sit me down on to the swings in our old Primary School and she sits next to me. 

We push back the swing, count off 1, 2, 3, and then let go. We lean our whole body back, let go, and then lean back again completely in sync. She giggles loudly and I find myself laughing with her corduroy vest tugging at my stomach. Then, she gets up on the swing and I wearily follow. She leans back further and then, as the swing moves forward she jumps off and falls in the sand. 

She freezes for a whole second and my heart does too until I hear her disheartening cry. Her small body shakes and she sits up wiping the tears from her face. I immediately get off my swing and approach her, but then a curly haired man gets in my way.

"Remember Junhong always prep for it" he says holding out three fingers in both hands and I try to push him away, but he's still grinning. He circles around me and I yell in agitation before pushing him away and running to her. I carry her weight into my arms and pat her back, but her back expands and she becomes heavier. I move back to face her and kitty whiskers stare at me for a split second. I blink and the whiskers stay, brown short hair gleams in the light and thick rosy lips call out my name.

My eyes fix on them and then down his throat, swallowing a gulp, and look back up to meet eyes staring right at me. I cringe at the fierce eye contact and force myself to look away, but he starts leaning into me. Plump lips mere inches away and eyes still insistent in keeping our eye contact.

"I'm not some made-up fantasy now~" he purrs ing purrs, hands on my shoulders and Yongnam's words replay over and over in my head before noona came in the room.

"I know you're gonna deny it, but I saw you and Daehyun in that compromising postion, first time having a go with a man?" I picture his smug face, emphasizing the words man as Daehyun's breath tickles my lips and for goodness sake I stay frozen. 

"With a man~ with a man~ man man man man" my head sings as I pull the back of his head toward me and our lips finally touch.

My heart leaps out of my chest and my eyes open as I gasp loudly. I look around in the dark, panting hard and unable to calm the harsh beating in my chest that's making my head spin. I try to take things slowly and let my heart rate slump as I finally piece together that this is my room and that out-of-line freaky string of events was all just a dream. A stupid, unrealistic, uncalled for dream. 

I wipe the sweat collecting on my forehead and double check for noona whose still serene figure spreads out on the blanket below my bed. A stupid, bizarre dream that is completely baseless and unreal. This becomes my mantra like the counting sheep trick and I hold onto it as an attempt to regain my sanity and calm the overwhelming sensation of being that close to Daehyun. Everything felt so real and warm and so so close but so so wrong. I shake my head not wanting to further entertain the thought and with some sheer will power and lots of staring off at anything, I finally relax myself back into a sleepy state. I feel my breathing come to a slow rhythm and sink deeper into my unconscious. Yet, as soon as I close my eyes, I see kitty whiskers and those plump lips daringly on my mine to finish off what we started. I jerk out of my bed again completely disturbed.

"ing hell!" I mutter under my breath and my senses take that as their cue to go on overdrive again. This is not real. This is not freaking real.

I tell myself that for hours and I stop checking the time when it's pass 4am. I think of all the things that makes me cringe like the smell of my mom's perfume or the aftershave my dad uses to distract myself. When that doesn't work and just makes me ticked off, I try to think of things I do fancy like the new dance workshops Jongup was inviting me to go to, or the new skateboard I saw in the mall the other day and even girls. Because I like girls. Short girls, skinny girls, tall girls, curvy girls and just girls in general, but then that topic proves to be a little sensitive, so I shrug it off and stare out the window.

-------------A----------------

An overbearingly bright light falls on my face and I groggily fidget in my sleep. I defiantly throw my blanket over my head refusing to wake up before my alarm even rings, but the sun is up and the sunlight has already disturbed my hopes on catching some more sleep. I kick at my legs, forgetting about my sore muscles and feel a sharp stinging on my knees.

"-" I groan already done with the day and then my alarm blares on the nightstand. I glare at it, stubbornly wishing it away, but the noise crescendos even louder and I reluctantly reach for it. I glance over to noona on the floor to see if my alarm has woken her up, but as usually she is soundly asleep. Lucky her and her deep sleeping abilities!

After an inevitable stare down at my ceiling for no particularly reason other than my refusal to get up, I sigh and slowly slide my legs to the edge of the bed. I count to three before easing my feet on the floor and use the nightstand as support. I make my way to the bathroom, wincing every now then as my left foot steps on the floor and turn the light on. I rest my hands against the sink and wash my face. I stare at my reflection after a good cleansing and almost back away from disbelief. I look like with my raccoon-like dark circles, skin a little red from the rubbing and pores more noticeable than usual. 

A sigh escapes from my lips and I discard my clothes, hoping that a quick shower will brighten my mood. After the shower, I hurriedly go back to the room and find some decent clothes to wear to class. I grab my phone on the nightstand and open the text Youngjae gave me this morning.

Hey Junhong, I just wanna say thanks so much for offering to go to Daehyun's classes today. If you need anything just let me know and I'm sure Daehyun will share the same sentiment. Text me before you come to the apartment!

I stare at the message and can't help the frown forming on my face. I am being a good friend and Youngjae is more than appreciative of it, but why does the mention of Daehyun leave my insides feeling raw and like they're trying to claw out of my stomach? Unwanted flashes of the dream and Yongnam's words replay in my head because my brain thinks I need a ing reminder. I sigh willing myself to focus on the prospects of the day and drink a cup of water before heading out. 

Despite the obnoxious growling of my stomach, I don't think I can eat anything without throwing up and blast my music for some distraction. I text noona that I left to go to Daehyun's early class and take a deep breath before stepping in his class. 

---------------C---------------

To be fair, the first two were pretty decent and medium paced, while the third one was a hot mess of me trying to keep up with the teacher's slides. My heart kept beating erratically fast as I struggled to type and listen at the same time. I never felt so overwhelmed to be in class and that's saying something being in grad school and all, but I kept reminding myself that this was for Daehyun. And while that brought back my motivation to focus, that very same reason also triggered a whole lot of insinuations favoring the events in the dream and Yongnam's words. It was like the gods were physically trying to bring that topic back as inconveniently possible as they could and I can feel my grip for control tightening.

Noona offered to go with me to Daehyun's, but then her mom wanted her home after being away all weekend and she couldn't refuse that. I panicked a little not wanting to be alone with Daehyun with all these stupid thoughts plaguing my head and calmed down when I remembered Youngjae's text. I didn't miss the twinge of concern in noonas eyes before she left because I have to admit I was doing a very job of masking my momentary panic, but I told her I was fine.

I texted Youngjae I was coming, after anxiously erasing and re-typing many excuses, so I wouldn't have to visit and give him his notes today. But, I rationalized that desperately running away from Daehyun just means there is a problem and there was no way in hell I was agreeing to that. Thus, here I am a door away from the star of my recently bizarre dream's apartment unable to ring the bell. I take a deep breath, forcing my nerves to calm down and quickly press the bell. My phone rings notifying me that I received a text message, but before I can distract myself, a voice calls out from the other side of the door.

I step back and a few seconds later, the door opens and cat whiskers welcome me. Startled, I shuffle further away and unknowingly take in Daehyun's presence without ever meeting his eyes. He's left hand is leaning on the wall, while his right hand is still clutching the doorknob. He is slightly tilted to the left side and sweat beads are glistening on his forehead.

"I've looked worst" he sheepishly comments and it takes me out of my reverie.

"What? No- I- I just-" my eyes finally fall on his face and his usual perfect smile is replaced by something less charming, more rough, scruffy, and doesn't meet his eyes. More human I couldn't help thinking and something about it seems more attractive. His hair is disheveled and there's a dent on his face that is also on his arm, which shows he's been using his arm as a pillow. 

"Junhong?" he calls for my attention and I quickly look up again steering clear from his lips and force a smile back.

"Sorry. Been a heck of a day." I shrug fighting the churning in my stomach.

"I hear that!" he comments shifting his weight on his right side, wincing from the slight movement and twitching back to the other side. "See what I mean?" he rolls his eyes clutching the doorknob a little tighter than before and I make a move to help him. He flashes me another one of his sheepish smile and I let him hold on to my arm as he manuevers to the couch.

His grip is a lot tighter than I anticipated and the muscles on his biceps are taut, fighting for control. He slowly slides down onto the couch, his left hand holding on to the armrest, while his right hand holds onto my arm for support. I stand awkwardly as Daehyun's breathing calms down and he motions for me to sit next to him. 

I gulp before sitting down next to him with as much space between us as appropriately possible. He makes no reaction to it and I fight for words before I start staring at him again.

"So, how are you feeling?" I manage to ask and he laughs loudly before answering.

"Well evidently I am still a struggling mess, but I didn't want to bother Youngjae so much because he has a lot on his plate already with his presentation being today and Himchan also has his practical designing test. Jongup has to work, Yongguk is always busy saving the world or being a worst off hermit than you and me combine and well Yongnam probably has soccer practice or something, but other than this overbearingly long rant I've been totally okay" he informs poking my arm to signal me to pass him the remote. I give it to him, unable to swipe a smile on my face as he finishes his "rant" and turns on the television. He keeps switching channels and I keep my attention to it.

"Sorry, it's been really lonely and I can't seem to stand the silence." He interjects still flipping through the channels.

"No, I feel the same way" I add as he leans his head on the edge of the couch. 

"Youngjae told me you were coming, but he never bothered to tell me why. Care to elaborate?" He asks lazily turning his eyes my way and I quickly grab my laptop from my bag.

"Oh yeah! Sorry, it somehow slipped my mind, but I uhm, went to your classes today and took notes for you..." I say trying to fight the raw feeling in my stomach that's making the heat sizzle on my ears. I keep my eyes on my laptop as gravity fails to keep my organs from staying in line and submerging to my feet.

"Wait, what?" he asks and I can feel his eyes on me. 

"It's--it's not a big deal. I just felt bad that you'd had to skip classes and I know how much school matters to you. Plus noona takes the same classes as me, so I thought it couldn't hurt if I missed a day. Besides, noona's notes are far better than mine so you're really doing me a favor and well yeah" I finish my explanation totally un-blaisé-like and just want to crawl away into the corner.

"Thank you, Junhong. You really didn't have to do that" Daehyun confesses and I can sense the warmth in his words just by hearing them. Curious and against my better judgment, I look up to meet his eyes and regret it entirely, as they shine brightly at me like a new piece of jewelry. This brings back that clawing feeling, which a small part of me argues hadn't left in the first place, but I quickly drown that thought. The whiskers are only half there and there's a hint of pink to his cheeks, and I resolutely take back that entire bunch I said about regrets.

"It's nothing" I scratch my head, itching to do something. His eyes are still in that happy respite and it's really not helping the guilt I feel from that damn dream. He slowly takes the laptop from my lap and I oblige using that as an excuse to shift a little further away from him. He peers at me again before looking over the document and reading the notes I made. Creases on his forehead starts to form much like noona's does, but his aren't so deep and his lips open a little as he whispers some of the sentences to himself. I lean deeper into the couch averting my gaze away from anything Daehyun when the door opens and Youngjae pops in. THANK GOD.

"Hey guys! Sorry I got caught up on the way home, but I brought some food for us!" Youngjae lightly shakes the kyochon box in his hands and I sit up happy someone else is in the room and obviously food!

"I should get hurt more often if it means being treated like royalty~ "Daehyun remarks naively winking at me and then flashing Youngjae his familiar grin.

"I see Junhong has given you his notes. Once again, thank you Junhong in case this airhead failed to articulate his gratitude" Youngjae retorts placing the box on the table.

"Don't insult the mind of the genius!" Daehyun sits up placing the laptop between us and eyeing the opened box.

"That's debatable, but since the real honorable one here is Junhong, then he gets first choice. Go on and take what you want while I grab us some cups and drinks." Youngjae makes his way to the kitchen and Daehyun waits despite the longing look he gives the chicken. I take a soy and garlic chicken and pass the honey one to him. His expression brightens and I quickly chew on my chicken. Youngjae comes back a second later, pouring us drinks and joins us. I place my laptop back inside my bag and Youngjae takes its place.

Five chickens later, I listen merrily as Youngjae describes the presentations he saw today and his own, which he argues was the most successful and efficient one. "Peasants everywhere" Youngjae finishes off his story, and I chuckle mostly from the sound of laughter errupting out of Daehyun and Youngjae's stoic expression. I help Youngjae clean up the table and he motions for me to sit while he throws the box away and washes the dishes in the kitchen.

"I can help wash" I yell from the couch, but Youngjae denies my attempt to help and get away from Daehyun.

"It's okay! Just make sure Daehyun is in one piece while I am away. God knows he can't function without me!" He teases and Daehyun rolls his eyes.

"Charming that one, a bit needy for my taste though" Daehyun banters back and I smile at the familiarity of their friendship.

"What did you say about my momma?" Youngjae yells and Daehyun and I look at each other before busting out in laughter. His shoulders shake in amusement and he leans back with his head resting on my shoulder. When did he get next to me when there was clearly enough space between us to fit another person is the real mystery and I would dwell on it, if I can get my head on straight. Instead, I stiffen like a freaking startled deer and images of the dream pop in my head. Lips and cat whiskers way too close for my liking and all that purring. 

"I should go. It's getting late and I have some work to finish" I get up from the couch and grab my bag by my feet. I hurriedly put it on and Youngjae comes back. 

"Leaving already?" he asks watching me.

"Huh? Yeah. I have to uhm finish some work, but I'll uh see you guys soon" I say making my way to the door.

"Alright. Well thanks again!" Daehyun waves and I pause before I open the door to head out.

"Any time" I wave them goodbye. Youngjae waves back and I close the door behind me. I walk out of the apartment and make my way to the train without a single thought other than I need to get a girlfriend and to punch Yongnam in the face.

---------TION------------

Hey guys, I hope you haven't forgotten this story as I have been away for a while. But, I want to let you guys know that I'm still very into it. I know updates aren't very frequent, but I am trying to be more consistent. As always, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and will continue to follow Junhong and SooHae in their uality struggles. You can take that statement in any way you want. Also, my heart goes out to the victims and their loved ones from the Orlando shooting. It's 2016 and we should all be fighting for love & humanity. Stay safe and teach love not hate.