“What do you think? Will he like this?” It was hard for you to choose what you were going to wear, because you had no idea what he liked you to wear. You were sure that he had a style he liked for his girlfriend, but you had no clue what it was. You didn’t want to mess up already, this was your first date with him. Well, actually it wasn’t, you had had many dates before, only you couldn’t remember them. Ever since you had agreed to go out with him, you had been nervous, it had kept you awake last night. As you thought about being all alone with him and spending a full day with him by your side, your heart started to flutter inside of your chest. You had still seen him yesterday, and he had seemed so excited about the date, that you hadn’t been able to say no. Even though you still didn’t remember anything about him before the accident, you couldn’t stay away from him. 

There was something about him, but you couldn’t describe it. It was weird, being in love with someone you didn’t know, and it confused you. But you could feel how your body reacted each time he was with you, when you heard his name or when you saw his face. This wasn’t just a regular guy, and you knew that you had to remember him. But you had no idea how to do that. Your doctor had told you not to rush things, it could make you emotionally overloaded which could make you break down once again. You had told him you wanted to take things slow, and luckily he had agreed to that. he didn’t want to rush you and didn’t want to push you to do things you weren’t ready for. He was so honest and so sweet, you could understand why you had fallen in love with someone like him. Baekhyun was a great guy, but you couldn’t help but feel guilty each time you saw him, and it killed you. 

You had no idea how much longer you’d still be able to handle it. The look on his face each time he came over, and he figured out that nothing had changed and you still had no idea who he was. He had so much hope that you would get better and that everything would get back to how it used to be and each time he had to figure out that things were still the same. You could see it in his eyes, ow much it hurt him to be apart from you, but he didn’t say it because he didn’t want to make you feel bad. He always said, “It’s okay, we shouldn’t expect things to go that fast.” Or “It’s fine, I don’t mind waiting for you.” It was so sweet when he said that and it made your heart melt, but you could see that he was partly lying to you. You knew that he would wait for you as long as he had to, but how long would he be able to handle it. What if you would never remember him and if you lost your memory forever, would he be able to live with that? 

It made you feel horrible that you had to disappoint him over and over again and that you couldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear most. But you didn’t want to lie to him, you couldn’t pretend knowing him while you didn’t. You could see it, that he longed for you and that he missed you. That he hated the fact that he had to be separated from you and that he had to leave and go home all by himself, leaving you behind. You wished that you could change things, that you could make things better for him and that you could take away his pain, but you couldn’t. You wished that you could turn back time and that you could undo what had happened, but you couldn’t. You were stuck in this body, that didn’t want to let you remember what you wanted to know the most. You didn’t understand how you could forget a person that loved you so deeply, and who had meant so much to you. 

“I’m quite sure he wouldn’t mind. He always thought you were pretty, no matter what you wore.” Your mother said as she took place on the bed and eyed you. You brushed your fingers through your hair once more, trying to calm yourself down. You didn’t want to mess this up right now, maybe if you wouldn’t be able to remember him then at least you would be able to start over right? “Baby, sit down for a second. There is something I want to tell you.” Your mom said and she shot you a