Genre: Drabble, Angst

Rate: Pg-13

Summary: When fetus Vagaygays shows her English project from 2 years ago and replaces the characters with EXO members.

Lost

    I stare at the ripples forming across the shimmering pond, a stray tear falls onto the tips of my fingers standing out from the numbness of my skin. A puff of air disappears only to be created again with every breath, I feel a sting of pain as I dig my nails into the palm of my hand.

    “You’re alive,” I hear Kyungsoo say, “That’s all that matters, my lady.”

    The warmth of his hands sears through my skin, but I ignore it, such comfort is irrelevant to me. I feel the coldness of the snow, a blanket of white coating the ground before me. But instead of white, all I see is red.

    “But they are not…” I feel yet another stream of tears falling, just like a raging river, the opposite of the still air, bright moon and rippling pond before me. I push his hand away.

    “My life,” I scream, struggling through breaths, “My life is not worth thousands of others!”

    I can feel his eyes examining me, as if to say, “No, your life is worth millions.” I can feel his muscle tensing in realization, I can feel the slight shift of his hand in conflict, wondering if holding mine would be a mistake. But the sad thing is that I cannot feel my own. I feel no pain for myself, no sorrow, no hope just emptiness. Minseok’s eyes shift to mine, I wouldn’t have noticed his stare between his squinted eyes if I hadn’t been staring at the green slits in the beginning.

    “Don’t be stupid,” I tense at Jongin’s harsh tone, this is the first time he has said anything before our escape. “Stop acting like-”

    “Stop acting like what?” I interrupt him, “Like a spoiled brat? Like my parents were murdered? Like my kingdom is being forced into anarchy by my, by...” I feel my heart being ripped to shreds, a pain so unbearable that it almost knocks the breath out of me. “By Chanyeol… By the person we cherished the most.”

    There was a moment a silence between the four of us, as if a death had just occurred. Maybe this was a death, maybe the person we knew was already dead, gone, only a memory, maybe even a figment of our imagination. But for some reason, I still have a sliver of hope that this was all a dream.

    I leaned my head against the rough bark of the tree and close my eyes in despair. I, Pheonix Bassium Soleil, am the princess of the kingdom Bellus, also known as the kingdom of Beauty. On my 12th birthday my kingdom was taken over by my childhood friend, Chanyeol Amicus Odium. I am known to be helpless, weak, hiding behind the strength of others. But I am not. Despite my calm demeanor there is a fire burning. A fire growing with each passing second, a fire that has always been there. I will take back my kingdom. I will take back my dignity. I will take back everything.

🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

    I awaken with a sudden jolt at the dream, my skin tingles with rising goosebumps. The dreams come more often around the winter time since that's when this, un-ceremonial event occurred. I push the silken covers off me and sit up, immediately missing the warmth of my bed. I'm surprised to find tears in my eyes, I quickly wipe them away. 4 years have passed since the death of my parents, since my kingdom was taken over by Chanyeol. I am now 16 years old.

As days turned  into weeks and weeks into months, we have been travelling the world, filling our wanderlust and training every spare minute we had. Minseok, Jongin and Kyungsoo, my childhood friends, have been by my side as guardians since the minute I was born. They were assigned to protect me by my parents. My parents saw a light in them, they all came from aspiring backgrounds, they all started training since the second they could walk, and they all for some unknown reason had a solemn vow to protect my mother’s unborn daughter, also known as me.

Jongin, who is only 2 years older than me, is the youngest of the guardians. His tough facade outshines his caring demeanor, he was often teased for being so young and protecting someone as important as me. He may not be the brightest, but he is definitely the strongest. His biggest feature would probably be his striking discolored eyes. When he was younger he got into a training accident that caused a cut to go straight into the pupils of his right eye. The injury caused the light blue to turn into a deep colored red. He finds the color to be a nuisance, but in it, I see the two sides that he hides behind a mask.

Kyungsoo on the other hand is the complete opposite of Jongin, he is calm and caring, his biggest weakness is strength but his biggest strength is his agility and fighting tactics. He is outstandingly charming and cunning for someone who is only 20, but that's what makes Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo.

Minseok, the oldest of the group being 6 years older than me, is Chanyeol's older brother. Minseok always showed no emotion, a smile from him was as rare as a red moon, but his smile is something I treasured. After the tragic event occurred, he no longer smiled, all he did was stare with his piercing green eyes that only seemed to have become darker. He was like a black cat staring into the night the way his dark hair cascaded over his eyes. Minseok is skillful, intelligent, strong, his stamina is outstanding, but despite all his power, despite all their power, they chose me.

They could've traveled the world, they could've left me. I, who kept a painful grudge and was reminded everyday for the deaths of others, I, who was selfish enough to have self hatred without realizing that by hating my own existence I ruined the chance of hope for anyone in my kingdom. Without them I'd be helpless, in a worse case scenario I'd be dead. But because of them I have become the strong sophisticated woman I am now. Because of them, I can fight back.

"They are meant to protect you," My mother once said, "when we cannot."

Careful not to wake them I grab my bow and a few arrows, I diligently wrap a cloak around myself and buckle the straps of my boots before heading out of my room to the gated yard before me. My fingers wrap around the string of my bow as a let the arrows loose among the various targets set around the grassy plain. I feel a flood of relief every time I let the arrow fly, it's as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders but is once again placed with every arrow.

I hear another set of footsteps ruffling the snow beneath them and turn around, arrow in hand.

"Consisto! Nix it's me Jongin, calm down." I drop my bow and smile, wiping the sweat off my brow.

"Tell me before you sneak up on me, morio." I laugh at the slight smile tugging at the corners of his lips, "Did you need me for something, Jongin?"

His smile fades, he sticks his hands in the pockets of his coat and stares at me, his discolored eyes distracting me.

"It's tomorrow you know, the day when we attack... Are you ready?"

There was a moment of silence between us, as if even the world was awaiting my answer. "I've been ready for 4 years, are you?" I ask, curiosity evident in my gaze.

"I'm ready when you are," He bows down, hand covering his heart and smiles, a gesture completely out of character, "Queen Phoenix Bassium Soleil."

"Well, well, coming to her first thing in the morning. Haven't I told you already that the Princess will never fall for some imbecile like you." Kyungsoo chuckled and bowed a greeting to me, "You're up early princess, I suppose that means that you're ready to set sail for the Kingdom of Bellus."

Jongin arises with flushed cheeks, "I wasn't flirting, you're obviously just jealous that you weren't the first one to see her."

Before Kyungsoo could reply, Minseok stepped in glaring at both of them.

"I hope you two have a good reason to be bothering Nix so early in the morning, tomorrow is an important day. I expect you two to be on your best behavior when we attack. I just sent a messenger dove to inform our allies, they will be expected in Bellus at the crack of dawn-"

My eyes widen, the rest of his words are just a blur of nonsense, it's been 4 years since Minseok has called me Nix. He usually referred to me as "Your highness" or "princess" this must be a sign that the chains on his heart are breaking free.

Jongin and Kyungsoo trembled in fear under Minseok's intense glare. They were definitely still not use to his harsh tone after all these years. Their muscles tensed and cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry, I was just playing around." Kyungsoo mumbled slightly turning to face me once more. "Sorry, Nix."

Jongin nodded in agreement, and rubbed the back of his neck slightly letting his hair fall over his red eye.

I feel tears coming to my eyes but quickly wipe them away. The boys stare at me in confusion and fear as if they'd done something wrong. I smile in reassurance and tighten my grip on my bow. I quickly pull the string and let the arrow fly past the 3 of them straight through the dummies heart. They turn their heads in shock and stare at the bullseye.

"Te amo." I say, giving them a teethy smile. "No matter what happens I will always love you all."

Kyungsoo and Jongin smile back, I think I can see a small curve forming on Minseok's lip.

"Amorem Amamus." They reply, "We love you too."

🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

I always wondered if fighting for my kingdom would be the best path for me, if it was really worth it. But after seeing my home once again, I could feel my heart twist and turn with a shower of emotions.

"Bellus." The sound of my kingdom coming out of my mouth, oh how I yearned to see the rising mountains, sparkling rivers and laughing citizens once again. I turn to the many warriors before me with my guardians by my side, I feel a lump in my throat forming, nausea suddenly hits me. Minseok places a hand on my shoulder and squeezes, I nod slightly and swallow my fear. This is it.

"Warriors!" I hear the echo of my voice in the dead silence of the crowd. "I, Pheonix Bassium Soleil, will take initiative in taking back my throne, for I am the rightful heir, for I am the rightful ruler!"

I pause slightly, the crowd cheers and I can feel the rumble of their battle cries throughout the ground.

"Today, will mark the greatest day in Bellus's history, I thank you for becoming apart of this historic event, your help will forever be praised for years to come! Now! Let us fight!"

The cheers were so loud now, I know for a fact that even Chanyeol can hear our cries, my cries. The four of us hurry ahead on horseback, I release my cloak and let my hair flow as the wind brushes past us. I take out my bow and arrow and shoot one of Chanyeol's guards in the arm. I want my first kill to be you, I want my only kill to be you.

🌒🌓🌔🌕🌖🌗🌘

Hours pass as we make our way closer to the castle, Chanyeol is sure to know we are here now. Guards multiply and so do the deaths. When I make it to the stairs of the castle entrance, I hop off my horse with my bow and arrow and walk up the steps. War happens all around me, blood and agonizing screams fill the air, but all I see is Chanyeol's smile, all I hear is Chanyeol's laughter, all I feel is Chanyeol's strong arms wrapping around me. Tears fill my eyes, I hear Kyungsoo, Jongin and Minseok calling for me but I continue to walk. I reach the familiar doors of my palace and push through them. The palace is empty except for a familiar figure sitting on the throne with a shining crown on his head.

"Nix, what a pleasant-"

I don't want to hear it. I go through the familiar motions once again, bow, set, pull and release. I hear the ping of the string, the small gust of wind against my cheek, the weight lifting off of my shoulders. The arrow whizzes past air and penetrates the crown on Chanyeol's head which falls to the ground seconds after. He wears an expression of pure shock, my breaths come out uneven.

"Don't," I clear my throat, "Don't call my name, don't move, don't smile, don't speak."

For some reason he does what I say, I finally look at him, staring intently at him as if he was a stranger. He looks so different, his once short and raggedy hair falls past his shoulders into a silhouette. His eyes have hardened, I can't even remember the color that was once there.

"I came to kill you." I say, my voice hard, my teary eyes making it hard to see.

He smiles. Not a smirk, not a cheeky smile, not even a happy smile. A smile as if to say finally, you've finally come.

"I've regretted it you know." He laughs, almost like he was sad. "I've regretted doing what I did every second of everyday."

"Then why?" I ask, taking deep breaths that hurt as much as stabs. "Why did you do it?"

Silence. I finally hear the screams and cries outside of the palace, the pounding and slashing of flesh, the thick smell of blood- his voice breaks me out of my thoughts.

"When my mother was murdered," I see his face soften, "I was told that your father, the king, sent assassins to kill off our family. My father, Minseok and I escaped. But as we ran I found out my father was sick with a cancerous disease. On his deathbed, he told me to avenge my mother and take the kingdom of Bellus as my own."

He looked up and I followed his gaze to the mural above us, a painting of angels surrounding a light. He continued speaking but I could no longer see his face, I suppose there were tears in his eyes.

"I hated the sight of you but I yearned for it. My brother never knew nor did he suspect my true motives, I was in sorrow and carried the burden on my own. When I killed your parents, I felt a shame like no other, when you saw me and ran with an expression of pure fear and hatred, I wanted to kill myself also. You and your parents gave me love and friendship, so did Jongin and Kyungsoo. But what was I to do? Ignore my father's wishes?"

I felt sympathy for him, my emotions turned into a jumbled mess.

"A year after I took over the kingdom, I had finally arrest the assassins who murdered my mother. It turns out that the king had nothing to do with the attack." Chanyeol's voice choked, I knew he was crying now, I could feel the pain in his voice.

"My father had killed my mother. My own father. I wanted to die, Nix. I felt evil and disgusted with myself. So I made a plan. On the day you came back," He paused to reach into his robe, he pulled out a glass with a dark liquid and pulled open the cap. "I would drink this, I could only die knowing that you'd take care of the kingdom." He placed his lips on the rim and took a sip cringing. I drop my bow and run towards him. The clatter echoed throughout the room, stinging my ears like a high pitch scream.

"NO! CHANYEOL!" When I reached him, he already took the last sip of the bottle. He stared up at me and smiled. I felt my stomach drop in fear, my heart stung and I felt fresh warm tears reach my eyes once more.

"Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea máxima culpa. I'm really sorry that I'm such an idiot, Nix. Take good care of everyone."

With those last words, I watched as the light left his eyes, I watched as his breath faded with the bitter stench of the poison. Kyungsoo, Minseok and Jongin pull me away from the body but all I feel is emptiness yet again. Is this what I wanted?

Why did it have to end this way?

I took back my kingdom. I took back my dignity. But I lost everything.

This was lit for someone so young, i don't think you guys realize how young I am like I am vERY YOUNG this is fetus writing right here.

This is a blessing, I just bestowed my retarded self upon you.

What kind of name was Pheonix Bassium Soleil kill me it's like all in Latin I'm screeching.

I'm cringing while reading this I can't I'm gone b y e