After all this time Chanyeol hadn’t forgotten anything about Nana. Her scent still lingered whenever he thought of holding her close, her touch would still make his heart flutter, her laugh…oh her laugh, it was his favorite sound. He also couldn't forget her apartment number. 

He hid behind a white sanitary mask and covered himself with his favorite navy blue hoodie as he entered the building. After dating a celebrity, one learns the tips and tricks to meeting each other without getting caught by the paparazzi. Sometimes plans fail and the next morning, the news is all over the tabloids but Chanyeol liked to think he had mastered this art, this game of survival.

Slowly, the door opened and there stood Nana. She was still so beautiful. He would never be able to get over her beauty. She was just something else - a swan in the kpop industry.

She acknowledged him with a small nod, and let him in.  

“Sorry I called you so late. I’m sure you had other things to do.”

Other things to do was an understatement. An image of Heize eating cake alone at her birthday party which he had organized at his apartment, was a difficult image to swallow.

He followed her, into her living room, and she told him to take a seat across from her.

Nana’s apartment hadn’t changed; in fact, everything seemed like it had been untouched, from her to-do list, to her choreography mirror, to the colour scheme. Except for one thing. All of her pictures now consisted of her and Hong Jonghyun, some in which they were together, posing romantically and others where he was alone, handsome and all.  

Nana noticed how Chanyeol’s eyes rested on a tall portrait of him in his army uniform.

Tension filled the air and there were unspoken questions lingering on his tongue.

“I haven’t gotten the chance to take them down, if that’s what you’re wondering.” She broke the silence.

Chanyeol’s ears turned bright red, and he averted her gaze, flustered that she could read him so easily.

“It’s okay, you don’t need to explain. Really it’s totally okay.” He shook his big hands in a grand motion defensively in front of him. Most people would say Chanyeol was an awkward boy in the body of a man. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t play it cool like some of his EXO members.

“How is he?” Her lips hardened into a straight line and silence ensued for a couple of minutes. He hit a nerve by asking that question. It was not his place. She probably thought he was an idiot.

She sighed, before turning completely towards Chanyeol and looking at him. “I called you for exactly that, Chanyeol. I’m sorry but you’re the only one that came to mind. You’re my only guy friend.”

Chanyeol couldn’t hide the growing blush across his cheeks. All this time he had wondered where Nana and he stood. Other than being exes, he had wondered if there was any room for a healthy relationship? And now Nana had put a positive label on it, without any hesitation.

“Frankly, you’re the only one I can trust on this matter and who can keep a secret.”

Her nails dug in to the fabric of her skirt before she asked the very question that had been playing in her mind repeatedly. 

“Should I get back together with him?”

Chanyeol’s heart plummeted down to the main floor of the high-rise apartment complex. He couldn’t hide his hurt. Not because he wanted Nana. No, he had Heize. But Jonghyun...she had said it was a bad breakup so why would she want to continue living like that? Chanyeol really tried to reason with himself that this time it wasn’t jealousy clouding his judgement.

"I,” she started. “I want to tell him about the baby. We broke up because he wanted a family. I didn’t. He wanted to marry me, he was ready for a lifetime of commitment. I wasn’t.”

She spoke of him so highly and he wondered if she was still in love in him. He was a real man, mature, something Chanyeol aspired to be. The fact alone that Chanyeol was with Nana while his own girlfriend was alone on her birthday proved that much.

“My career as an actress has just started to blossom. People like me. I’m slowly getting offers and I’m very excited. I’m not ready to settle down and start a family. He said I can work all I want, but a baby is a huge responsibility. You know me Yeol-ah, once I start something, I give it my all.” Every time she called him by name, Chanyeol’s heart fluttered a little. It was like old times.

“It’s either the baby or my career. And now, I don’t have a choice.” She puts a hand on her belly. “Fate wants me to give my all to the child growing inside of me.”

It was hard for Chanyeol to understand her. She had decided to keep the child, and was even considering getting back with the father so they could raise the child together and be married. But then it hit him why he couldn’t understand. Nana was extremely selfless, unlike him.

“You’re going to be a great mother,” Chanyeol reassured her.

Her eyebrows rose in surprise at the compliment and she stared at him square in the eyes. She fidgeted with her fingers in her lap and looked away shyly.

“You think so?”

Chanyeol nodded firmly. She smiled for the first time that night. 

“Should I tell Jonghyun about the baby right now?” she wondered, still prodding Chanyeol for an answer.

Chanyeol felt that the right answer was yes. But in his heart, he felt that the man didn’t deserve her, and ultimately, he knew that if Jonghyun returned, he would have to leave her life.

“Wait until he comes back home for Chusoek. Tell him in person.”

Considering that Jonghyun had just enrolled in the army and his schedule was probably hectic, it was best to wait. So she agreed to wait for a month or so before she pursued her ex again. 

“I have an appointment next week,” she revealed.

He didn’t know why she was telling him this, but he wanted to believe she wanted his support.

Nana was surprised to see Chanyeol suddenly get up and change couches, only to sit beside her. She backed away in panic, but he calmed her down by placing a steady hand on her shoulder.

It took all of his courage to speak, with the fear of rejection in mind. “I want to help you, Jinah. I want to be part of this journey with you. As long as you need me.”

She followed his gaze from his stomach to her eyes and she noticed that Chanyeol had a hard time focusing on her eyes. He wasn't staring at her; rather he was staring right through her. It was no secret that he still crushed on her.

She chuckled at the adorable sentiment. 

“Fine. Be at the hospital at 9am next Tuesday.”

Chanyeol left Nana’s apartment with a grin but when he back home to his apartment that night, his heart broke to see Heize curled up in his bed, all alone.

After taking a quick shower, he slid under the sheets as well. He propped himself on one elbow and watched her. Suddenly, he had the urge to kiss her, first on her forehead, then her cheek, then her jaw, then her lips. He then spooned her little frame, and secured his arms around her waist.

“I’m sorry Da Hae.” He kissed her one last time before giving into sleep.

The room was cold and dark when Heize awoke in the middle of night. She wondered if Chanyeol had come back. Immediately at the thought, Chanyeol stirred in his sleep, bringing Heize’s attention to his tight grip on her stomach.

Heize spent minutes combing back her long tresses with her fingers, and staring at the dark room absent-mindedly.

She missed her ex-boyfriend so much. She didn’t even know if Chanyeol was a rebound or if she truly liked him.

Heize slipped out of his grip and out of bed. She watched his sleeping figure in sadness, before walking over to the kitchen.

While waiting for her tea to brew, she wondered how long she could last with Chanyeol. She cared for him, she felt optimistic about his career, and he truly had a special place in her heart, but Chanyeol could not fill the void of the one that was truly in her heart.  

Five days passed since the day of Nana’s shocking confession. Chanyeol would occasionally text her and go visit her, and he was surprised that Heize didn’t mind. His album was near completion but for the moment, it was on hiatus, because Heize was leaving on tour with another artist, Dean.

“I’ll miss you, Da hae,” He smiled sadly, caressing her check.

She responded with a chaste kiss on his lips. It felt so bittersweet and the guilt in her mind kept her from going further.

Chanyeol’s eyes started to water.

“Don’t get emotional, you big baby,” she teased while ruffling his hair.

He shut his eyes, to swallow back the tears and nodded confidently.

With one last goodbye, she let go of his hand and started walking away.

When she was too far for him to see her, Heize let her own tears fall.

She was his world but she wanted nothing more than to break up with him. She was undeserving of his sweet, innocent love. She rather be single than feel the immense guilt of dating someone, while being in love with someone else.

A/N: A short little chappie for the last day of 2017. The next chapters will come out much quicker as I'm finally able to see an ending for this story. 

Happy New Year!