Long schedules, lack of sleep, fans grabbing him, shoving him, the constant confessions of “oppa, sarangahe.” It was tiring, but he couldn’t help but love it.

Having just debuted, he was counting his lucky stars that EXO was as popular as they were. For the most part, to reach a fanbase of their number, it would take groups under other companies several years. Hence, why people fought for a position to debut under SM Entertainment in the first place.

At the beginning, it was easier to go out with his friends and visit his family members without the knowledge of his fans or the paparazzi, but eventually he no longer had that privacy either. When fans taking photos of his mom and his dad in their respective restaurant and studio started becoming uncomfortable for them, Chanyeol visited less. When fans made an idol out of Yura because of her beauty, Chanyeol advised his sister to private her accounts and post less.

Chanyeol loved his group, loved his fans, but his family, that was love on a completely different level. 

Regardless of the rough patch his family had gone through, Chanyeol was grateful for the undeniable support and love they had given him. After all, not every idol had the privilege of having their family support them through rough trainee days.

Even with so much popularity as a group, among s, Chanyeol wasn’t the most popular. There were other members who did significantly better in the polls, had a long line-up at fan signs, got more gifts on their birthdays, etc. It was natural to have feelings of jealousy, to blame the lack of popularity relative to s on himself, but never would these thoughts affect him for long. He thought of positive things. He had to in order to keep himself sane as an idol.

“Even if it’s hard, I’ll smile like an idiot.”

That quote became popular among his fans and Chanyeol began understanding the effect he had as a celebrity. He became more careful with his choice of words, his actions and hoped to become likeable, admirable not only as an idol, but as an artist.

However, soon Chanyeol learned that you cannot make everyone happy. 

Roommate. That was his first solo variety show without s. He had wanted to join it in order to show his true colours and passions, and he also liked the idea of living under the same room with females, but of course he would never admit that openly.

That’s where he met the girl who would later become his best friend, Im Jinah, or publicly known as Nana.

He didn’t like her at the beginning; actually he found her to be pretty annoying. Despite her popularity among males, he thought she was a try-hard, not only to viewers, but to 5urprise’s Kangjun who she had openly expressed her liking for.

When he talked about her back at his dorm, Sehun blatantly said: “Hyung, you’re jealous. You’re probably in love with her. Now let me sleep.”

Chanyeol knew that that idea was impossible and far-fetched. Sure, she was gorgeous and her body was something every straight man desired, and at times he did find her to be less annoying, but Chanyeol would not go as far as calling it love. Jealousy, well that idea the maknae may have grasped correctly.

Even if Chanyeol wanted to date, love had no time or place in his career. He figured releasing a solo album would take much longer, and be more problematic (in the case of scandals) if dealing with the affection of a woman. Therefore, before Nana could even crawl into his heart, he had friendzoned her.

She could read him as clear as a bell. His restraint around her was admirable. She had caught Seho, Minwoo and Kangjun ogling at her far too many times, but the tall, big-eared hoobae of hers rarely gave her a second look. Even conversations between them were simple and short.

“I can help prepare dinner.”

“It’s okay noona. I can manage.”

“I learnt some of the dance choreo for Growl. Do you want to see?”

“I have to run an errand. Maybe some other time.”

“I bought this suit for you and Kangjun so you two could get close.”

“Thanks. I’ll wear it well and we’ll try to get closer.”

“Chanyeol, I followed you on instagram. Follow me back, okay~♥"

“That’s not a good idea. You should be mindful of the sensitive fans.”

He seemed harsh at first, when all she was doing was trying to befriend him but little by little, Chanyeol became more concerned about Nana than he had planned on originally. The hate she received and the rumours that floated around her in the media, were taking a toll on her. She was losing weight and her bubbly personality and becoming more and more reserved with everyone. Witnessing the change in Nana led Chanyeol's heart to her and they sharing their life with each other more openly and intimately. 

“I’ve been sad lately and have been thinking of quitting being an idol.”

Knowing how much effort and dedication it took to even get a chance to stand on a stage as a singer, Chanyeol was displeased to hear that she was giving up.

“If you do that, I won’t forgive you. I can’t forgive anyone who would throw away not only their own hard work, but their group’s collective hard work just like that.”

He didn’t expect Nana to start crying after that. Panicked and not knowing what else to do, he offered her a box of tissues. With mascara tainting her cheeks with black stains, Nana brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around herself.

“I feel so alone.” Her shoulders trembled, and her tears spilled endlessly. “I feel like all the life has been out of me. I have no desires, no goals anymore and the incessant, destructive comments about my personality have been killing me slowly.”

Big brown orbs watched Nana with mixed emotions. Watching her crumble before him, his heart ached and without thinking, he pulled her into a hug. The feeling of a man’s embrace caused Nana to open her eyes wide, but the shock subsided quickly and warmth filled her shaking, rigid body.

Although she was depressed, Park Chanyeol’s warm and protective hands gave her the slight hope that he would help her find a light in her dark life. Smiling, she rested her head on Chanyeol’s shoulder and slid her own arms up his back.  His heart fluttered with the gesture and he couldn’t but feel full, complete almost. A noona that he had believed would be no more than a colleague had, with time, nestled herself deeply into Chanyeol’s thumping heart.

“Maybe,” he thought. “Maybe I’m in love.”

When Kris, Chanyeol’s best friend, left EXO without saying a word to him, Chanyeol went through a very difficult time. He questioned his bond with the ex-member and whether EXO was truly as close as they portrayed themself to be to the public. A lot of hearts were broken, a lot of tears were spilled and the lack of trust distanced the members.

Exasperated with the situation back at the dorm, Chanyeol returned to the Roommate household.

The house was empty which he was thankful for. Slowly, he walked up the stairs, stepped into his room, quietly shut the door, and cried his heart out.

He didn’t know how long it had been before he heard her knuckles rapping on his door, and when he didn’t respond, she came in without hesitation. He lifted his head from his knees, she saw his bloodshot eyes, his clenched teeth, his raw feelings and Nana exhaled sharply at the sight.

Dropping her purse at the door, she ran over to him and pulled him into her embrace. She had heard on the news what had happened. She was in a girl group that had constant changes, where members graduated and left on their own accord. She understood the pain of a member leaving, but what Chanyeol was feeling was something different. Betrayal. The departure of a best friend.

He sobbed and sobbed and Nana adjusted her grip on him and pulled him closer, into her chest. If Chanyeol wasn’t swept away by a state of sad emotions, he would have blushed at being in such close proximity to Nana’s s.

“I looked up to him so much. I..Him…We were really good friends and-” were the only words he managed to say before he started crying again.

His head had slipped down to her thighs, and like a baby, he let her comfort him with her soft voice and with her fingers through his red locks.

Time passed and Chanyeol’s tears disappeared along with the last rays of sunlight as the moon and the stars took their place in the sky.

“I should go back to my room and you should sleep.”

They were sitting across from each other, holding hands, and eyes penetrating into one another's.

“Will you be fine?” 

She was genuinely concerned for him but she couldn't do much else as a friend. Sighing, she patted his head and got up to leave.

Chanyeol watched her walk away from him, and his heart churned. The last few hours with her, he had finally felt at peace, after what had been a week of chaos and betrayal, disappointment and cries.

“Noona, will you stay with me tonight?”

She stopped in her tracks and the sound of his voice rung in her ears. Had she heard him right? Had he really asked her to spend the night with him? Slowly, she turned around and met his eyes that were waiting for an answer. His strong and silent gaze made her swallow, and she looked away in embarassment because of his blunt request. 

In the next moment, he was standing in front of her and the close proximity made her blush.

"Nana-"

She nodded and Chanyeol didn't need to say anything else.

In silence, he cradled her face in his hands, stared into her large eyes, and kissed her. A healing kiss shared by two people broken by idol life, by friendships, by love.

Nothing other than more sweet kisses were exchanged between the two that night, as they innocently slept in each other’s arms. 

A/N: I want to clarify that Chanyeol is way popular now and probably one of the most popular members in EXO but when he debuted, I felt he didn't have as much fame relative to some of the members. Just goes to show how hard he worked to become an admirable and talented artist, deserving of the spotlight.

This is part 1 of 3. Stay tuned for part 2 with Heize :)