It had been a month since the break-up. EXO were going about their daily lives, whether it be dating, hanging out with their pals, discovering new hobbies or honing their already established talents. Chanyeol, on the other hand, stayed locked up in his room, composing sad melodies that would mimic his feelings of heartbreak.

Nana had left him. She was tired of him prioritizing everything else before her, and the day he stood up to compose music with another artist - a female artist - had been the last straw. He knew it was over the moment he saw her in the rain, drenched to the bone, shivering and crying. He knew he no longer deserved her, but at that moment, he wished…he wished so badly that he could take away all her pain. She who never asked for a shoulder to cry on when the netizens accused her of being fake while filming Roommate, she who smiled through the pain of a sprained ankle and didn’t miss her performance, she who had been tired of Chanyeol’s immaturity but tried to look past it. So being the principle cause of her tears, was a tough feeling to swallow.

, he fisted his fading auburn hair. The empty battle of liquor was his only companion while Chanyeol moped around his bedroom.

His phone rang. This was the 10th time this week. He knew it was her - the new girl - Heize. She was both a composer and an artist, a soft-voiced singer and a fierce rapper; a well-rounded package that was giving up her free time and sharing her experience to help him achieve his own dreams. But Chanyeol could not bring himself to answer the phone. He could not forgive himself for what had happened and although it was immature and selfish, he was transferring half the blame on her. Deep down inside, he was the only at fault as Heize hardly knew of his relationship with Nana. Had he mentioned Nana, had he’d given any indication that he was in a relationship, had he prioritized Nana the way he prioritized everything that echoed a musical sound, it could have been different. He could have been in Nana’s arms right now, instead of being in this unlivable apartment.

She called again and his ringtone, and having no patience left, Chanyeol threw phone across the room, before switching off the light, and lifelessly falling onto his bed.

It was still noon.

Three weeks passed before Chanyeol was dragged out by his favorite maknae to help him pick out a new phone.

"It's for my girlfriend. It fell while I was taking a selfie when we were at the amusement park last week. She seemed pretty upset about it, but didn’t really say much."

Sehun was in relationship with the maknae of Apink, Oh Ha young. Ironicially, they shared the same last name, which would often cause others to confuse them for siblings. Despite being the youngest in Exo, he didn't share the same dependency on his hyungs as other maknaes. Sehun was very self-sufficient and didn't have a problem getting around, even in the dating business.

They purchased the phone quickly, and after getting some ice cream, they walked around some jewelry boutique and women’s clothing stores.

“This coming December, it will be our first anniversary together so I want to plan something big, and I want to surprise her with couple rings,” Sehun announced as he leaned down to look at some of the jewelry behind the glass window.  

“Isn’t a ring a big deal though?”

Sehun looked up at Chanyeol’s mystified expression and leaned back so he was standing at his full height. “I mean we are both popular idols, and you know many have my relationships haven’t lasted for longer than 2 months ever since I became an idol…So I guess it is a big deal.” He shrugged his shoulders and then strode to the other side of the shop.

Chanyeol walked behind Sehun, keeping pace with him, and pondered over Sehun’s words.

It had just been a year for them too…if only he had been good to her, if only he hadn’t ignored her, if only he hadn’t gotten carried away. Chanyeol clenched his fist, as he imagined Nana smiling at him, hugging him, kissing him, and it made him feel horrible. He could feel his stomach churning, and he made a gagging noise before running to the restroom. Worriedly, Sehun went after him.

His fingers gripped the edge of the sink, as Chanyeol coughed up the contents of his stomach. The bathroom door squeaked open as Sehun came running in, worry crossing his features.

"Hyung, you okay?"

Chanyeol didn't reply and instead, focused his gaze on the mirror. Anger surged within him as he saw his reflection, a sickening image he wanted to destroy.

"," he whispered, lips trembling as tears began forming in his eyes. He could hear Sehun’s feet approaching him, "Hyung, it would be best if we go home. I'll go shopping some other time." He grasped his shoulder and then led a hollow Chanyeol out of the restroom and into their minivan.

When they got back to Chanyeol's apartment, Sehun took the initiative to make some soup for Chanyeol's unsettled stomach. The other boy lay on the sofa, the sofa that held so many memories with Nana; where they had shared their first kiss, where Nana had confessed that she could see a future with him, where they had watched movies and tackled each other. The memories that he had shared with her were unequivocal to all of his past relationships, because he really was in love with Nana. He wasn't only in love with the idea of love, but he was in love with her, from head to toe, inside and out - she made him so happy.

"What should I do?" Chanyeol asked quietly, in a ragged, quivering voice. Taken aback by the call of his name, Sehun turned around from his cooking and saw an unexpected sight of Chanyeol shedding tears.

He took three long strides to the sofa and then bent down to his knees. A piercing gaze looked into Chanyeol's sad eyes, trying to understand him and sympathize with him. His warm hands found Chanyeol’s arms and held them in a strong grasp.

"Hyung, you need get yourself together. You were wrong and you apologized, but she left you. Don't pine after one woman, there will be better ones."

Sehun could feel his own eyes burning with tears because this side of Chanyeol, was not a sight he ever wanted to witness. If he had known that Chanyeol’s relationship with Nana was in peril, he would have helped him out, he would have helped him figure things out. But now that he could see that Chanyeol had let himself be eaten by the demon inside him, had taken all the burden of Nana's departure, had blamed himself and beaten himself up for it, Sehun realized that Chanyeol was probably always this way. His smile and laugh and idiocy was just a cover up of how he felt about himself, especially in situations like this.

Sehun choked up and lowered himself to embrace Chanyeol. They stayed like that for a couple of minutes before Sehun wiped his tears and rushed back to the meal he was making. He stayed the night and the boys had an emotional heart-to-heart talk about their regrets in life. "Sometimes I wish I wasn't an idol," the youngest admitted. "I could have lived a normal life, worked as a dancing coach, dated a woman without worrying about the harmful public attention she would get, settle down and have kids in my 30s. Once I would have saved up enough money, I would move to an island somewhere and live with my family in peace." 

Chanyeol listened quietly, nodding and understanding that there was much more to Sehun than he let on.

"You know, all I really have is dancing. Frankly, that's the only thing I am good at. But hyung, you have music. Not only is that your passion, but you have a talent for it. It makes me jealous sometimes that you have a gift for playing instruments and composing." Sehun smiled, somewhat sadly. "Not everyone is gifted."

Chanyeol looked into Sehun's deep brown orbs as they lay side by side on the apartment ground. He held out his hand for Sehun to grasp and then squeezed it tightly, whispering a quiet "thank you."

The next morning, Sehun woke up to an empty apartment. On the bathroom mirror, he found a sticky note from Chanyeol.

"Thanks to you, I know what to do."

Sehun scratched his head in confusion but was smiled nonethless. That morning, as he ate breakfast alone, he prayed that Chanyeol would never lose his smile ever again.

Her studio smelt like coffee, musk and cigarettes. It was a small, chilly, unlit place consisting of two chairs by the mixing panel and a sofa at the back.

"I didn't think you would ever come," Heize remarked in disdain, while she got seated on the chair opposite to Chanyeol's.

Chanyeol rubbed the back of his head shyly, keeping his gaze on the floor. A pretty yet fierce lady sat before him and her authoritative and confident aura was a lot to take in.

Heize's intense gaze faltered as she watched the shy boy squirm in his seat. To start anew and make the boy more comfortable, she took out her hand in expectation of a hand shake. Chanyeol looked up in surprise and automatically took it. They exchanged smiles and when Heize showed her full set of teeth, he felt his heart's pace quicken.

They got to work right off the bat, applying Heize's mediocre experience and Chanyeol's beginner knowledge into one, upbeat, uplifting song. It was an enjoyment to share his muse with someone as dedicated to learning and making music.

He got home after midnight and instead of going straight to bed, he went to his own mini-studio and tried different compositions. Practice would make perfect and his confidence and motivation in regards to music had been restored thanks to Heize.

The days passed like this - they wrote, they composed, they ate, they laughed, they bickered, and ultimately, they grew closer. Sometimes Heize or rather Dahye - she told him to call her that after a couple of days – would babble about the qualities of an ideal boyfriend and the fact that she had broken up recently, did not escape Chanyeol's ears. She was an attractive woman, and needless to say, her intensity as a rapper and confidence as a woman was incredibly appealing.

Whenever their hands brushed on the mixing panel, Chanyeol would momentarily lose focus and blush. It occurred to him that he was behaving oddly but he would quickly dismiss any of the warm emotions he felt.

Three weeks later, they finalized their song and got it approved by a set of producers so it called for a celebration. Chicken bones and empty cans of beer and an unfinished cake were splayed over the make-shift dinner table. Chanyeol finished his second beer, releasing a hissing sound due to its bitter taste. Heize had drank plenty herself. She became more talkative, and the walls she kept up, slowly began dropping as well as her sweatshirt. Chanyeol's eyes acknowledged her body and it became obvious that she had quite a nice chest, which was accentuated by her tank top.

"You're...beautiful."

The words escaped Chanyeol before he could even think them through in his current condition.

Heize raised a eyebrow at the compliment, and put down her beer can.

"Are you flirting with me?"

He shrugged his shoulders and Heize giggled. She crawled on all fours to him and Chanyeol watched her - shining skin, glossy lips, messy hair - and his mouth went dry.

As if he wasn’t sweating already, Heize turned up the heat a notch by climbing onto his lap. She watched his reaction slowly, and kept her hands on his hard chest, his heart pulsating underneath her lean fingers. Chanyeol's body was tense, his hands were at his side as he did not know where to put them. He only watched in amazement at how Heize confidently straddled him and cradled his face in her hands.

She looked like a kitten. A small, fierce kitten that made him feel emotions he hadn't felt since Nana.

After that, he kissed her.  

A/N: Sorry for the delay. Again, super busy with school but I had written this awhile ago so I decided to post it. I think this story will be longer than expected and I have a lot of plot bunnies, so please bear with me. 

Thank you for reading and don't forget to review and let me know your thoughts.