His heart hammered loudly in his chest. He dimmed out all the external noise to concentrate solely on his upcoming performance. He was ready. He had practiced. Don’t be nervous, he told himself. He adjusted his dark shades on his eyes once more, before being lifted up onto the stage.

His voice cracked at first. The rambunctious crowd was having the time of their life and it was all at once, overwhelming and frightening. He had never done this kind of performance before; he had never been part of a creative process in which he wrote his own lyrics, and performed them on live TV.

Unpretty Rapstar, a competition among the best female rappers from the industry, was the show on which Heize was gaining immense popularity. He joined her on stage, running towards her, arms flailing everywhere and words flying out of his mouth. Heize tried to keep her cool demeanor as Chanyeol put his arm around her, and their faces were inches apart, followed by fangirls yelping and fanboys whistling.

She had just gone through an awful break-up. It was still a touchy subject and the slight mention her of ex, Crucial Star, could bring her instantly to tears. As sensitive as the topic was, she tried to avoid it by turning her focus over to music and the huge platform that enabled her to share her talent.

Things were moving along nicely, even though her heart was still aching. And then, like a Godsend, Chanyeol appeared in her life. He was a pure, juvenile, hard-working boy who’s company helped her overcome her break-up.

The passionate kiss they had share recently had revealed that there were some feelings blossoming between them. But was it enough to start a romantic relationship?

Heize didn’t know.

However, she was certain that she wanted to teach him everything she knew in the context of music, from rapping, to composing and writing music. Thus, she gave him the chance to compose his own lyrics. Awkward and childish as they were, they were original and it revealed a different side of Chanyeol to everyone.

The performance came to an end, and Heize exhaled, sighing in relief. The crowd cheered. They loved it. It was a messy performance, but it was the first of many.

He would improve.

Backstage, the other female contestants cheered them on. The younger ones were fangirling over the member of EXO, and some of the older females were looking at him in a seductive way. Heize saw their expressions, and couldn't deny the little bit of jealousy she was feeling. As far as she was concerned, Chanyeol was her pupil, friend and perhaps lover.

After successful performances, the female rappers decided to go clubbing and having noticed Chanyeol's close relationship with Heize, they had invited him too.

“I’ll go order us some drinks,” Heize yelled over the loud music in the club.  

Chanyeol nodded. He was not too fond of clubs as dancing, flirting, and drinking were not his cup of tea, so he found a quiet spot in the corner and leaned against the wall.

Unfortunately, he wasn't able to hide for long.

“Hey handsome,” a voluminous female greeted him with a flirtatious wave of the hand. She winked seductively and scanned him from head to toe. 

Her friends and her giggled about something being big. It didn’t take long for Chanyeol to realize that they were talking about him being well-endowed down "there". He flushed at their vulgar comments. The lady leaned into him, purposely pushing her chest out, in attempt to impress him with her cleavage. But Chanyeol was just uncomfortable, and not in the least.

As he tried to remove the drunk girl away from him, Heize arrived, two drinks in hand, arching her eyebrows and looking displeased at the sight in front of her. Upon seeing Chanyeol being harassed, she didn’t hesitate to throw the contents of her drink on the girl and her friends. They shrieked, cussed and fled, leaving Chanyeol in an awkward situation with his potential girlfriend. Instead of throwing a fit and holding a grudge against him, she simply pulled him by a collar.

“We’re leaving,” she whispered into his ear.

Chanyeol shuddered, as her hot breath fanned against his neck. He was sweating abundantly and gulped as she led him out of the club. On the ride back home, she looked out the window in silence, distancing herself from him, and the silence irritated Chanyeol to no end. It wasn’t even his fault to begin with.

He followed quietly behind her into her studio. “I’ll get my stuff and leave for the night.”

He started to turn on his heel but Heize grabbed him by the back of his shirt, and pushed him back down onto her studio chair. She then adjusted herself on his lap with her legs on either side of him, pushed her long blonde locks to the side, leaned in and whispered “I’m not easy Park Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol felt like all the air had been out of him. Her cat eyes were so breathtaking and her scent was enthralling so Chanyeol kissed her. What followed was their clothes falling into a messy pile on the floor and a night of longing intimacy.  

They made their boyfriend-girlfriend status official after that night, and physical intimacy became the basis of their relationship. It was a satisfying experience for both of them and their way of connecting to each other. The morning after, Chanyeol would try to engage her in deep conversations and share thoughts with her, but Heize was not much of a touchy-feely person. He realized it pretty quickly that Heize was far from his ideal type - she wasn’t Nana - but she made Chanyeol feel so reliable and secure about himself that a lot of the qualms he had about being a good boyfriend, quickly dissipated.

The month of December called for Christmas shopping. Walking hand-in-hand, Chanyeol and Heize quickly browsed the shopping malls. It had been hardly a month since they had started dating but Chanyeol already knew what to get her. Judging from her fashion style, anyone would assume that Heize was a tomboy who enjoyed nothing more than sweat shirts, a trendy cap, eyeliner and of course, some bling. But as her boyfriend, Chanyeol had noticed that Heize’s face lit up at the sight of elegant jewellery pieces. She had never bothered to ask him to get her anything. In fact, she always provided everything to him, and occasionally bought him gifts on a job well done as her student. Chanyeol decided that she really deserved something meaningful.

“Meet you at the parking lot okay,” Heize reminded Chanyeol, before leaving him to do her individual shopping.

Chanyeol waltzed into the first jewelry store he spotted and installed himself in front of display box and browsed the intricate yet expensive pieces. His eyes were fixated on a pendant with a heart in the middle, so in order to get a better look at it, he turned around to look for the jewelry expert.  

As he leaned back up and turned, he witnessed an unexpected, shocking sight. A few feet away, Nana was conversing with a jewelry seller and making a purchase over the counter. Beside her, stood a man…Hong Jonghyun, holding her left hand and looking at her lovingly. Nana returned the gaze. Suddenly, Chanyeol’s stomach was churning his lunch and bringing it back up. He backed up slowly, agitated and shocked. Not only was he seeing Nana after so long but another man had her heart now, a man who wasn’t him.

The air was suffocating. Chanyeol couldn’t breathe. He dashed through the store and practiclly stumbled into the parking lot. He heard the pitter-patter of feet approaching him, his name being called multiple times, and a petite frame struggling to lift him up and help him into the passenger side. Concerned, she glanced over at his face. His eyes were closed so tightly as if opening them would hurt him, his breathing was uneven and loud, and his large forehead was scrunched up in frustration, brows knitted together. There was silence between them for the rest of the ride home. Chanyeol was serious and somber but Heize didn’t press him for information if he didn’t want to share. If he needed to tell her something, she trusted that he would. Otherwise, she felt like she had no business asking him.

She dropped him off his house, and normally, he would kiss her goodbye but today he left with a simple, “Thanks. See you in a couple of days.”

“A couple of days” lasted a month.

Chanyeol mulled over his reaction about the situation for days. He was so immersed that he completely forgot about his girlfriend and when she came over to tell him that she was considering to go on tour with Dean, Chanyeol woke up to reality and apologized for his distant ways. He came to the conclusion that seeing Nana had triggered some unresolved emotions in him.

“They weren’t good feelings. I think seeing her again was the closure I needed. I don’t feel anything for her anymore,” he explained to his girlfriend.

Heize didn’t need a lot of convincing. A simple “good” was her response before she offered to buy him lunch and then head to the studio.

As EXO had begun to part ways and focus on their own abilities, Chanyeol has also been honing his composition and music production skills with the help of his girlfriend. Heize had offered to help him produce his first album, and with the permission of his company, he felt more and more closer to realizing his dreams.

He really couldn’t ask for anyone better to supervise him. Heize was a positive influence on him and a great teacher. And she didn’t mix her personal emotions with work. He could tell that she she was a bit more reserved after the Nana incident, but she still had his best interest.

“I promise to make this album a successful debut,” she said, putting a hand on his shoulder as he worked tirelessly into the night.

The words touched his heart and without any hesitation, he encircled his arms around her waist and hugged her tightly.

“I’m so glad to be your student,” his voice trembling as he made the confession.

Heize was taken aback by the sudden intimacy, and his head on her abdomen. Nonetheless, she ran a hand through his hair and whispered: “You’re special to me, LOEY.” Her last statement caught Chanyeol by suprise. LOEY was Chanyeol’s composer name. It was his alter-ego, the ideal version of him, and through this name he was able to express himself in the best way he could – through music. And now Heize, who had way more experience than him, had acknowledged him as a music composer.

Chanyeol held her tighter in response, letting his tears fall on her shirt.

“Hong Jonghyun and Nana reported to be dating for 3 months, agencies confirm.” – January 31^st, 2016

Chanyeol tried to ignore the article but it didn’t take long for him to click on the link and get all the details. As he read it, he discovered that Hong Jonghyun would soon be enlisting in the army and the article praised him for not enlisiting in the police unit, like every other celebrity.

“Well, at least she's dating an honourable guy,” Chanyeol said with sarcasm as he exited the browser, deciding that now that it was official, he should also move on.

Months passed, Chanyeol and Heize worked tirelessly every day on his album. But alas, the month of August came and so did Heize’s birthday. Chanyeol had decided that he would organize a special, private romantic dinner at his place so he spent the day tidying up and cooking. Just before she arrived, he dimmed the room's lighting and decorated the dining table with candle lights instead. Chanyeol had pushed back his hair, dressed up in a fitted navy blue tuxedo and worn a strong cologne that Heize had purchased for him for Christmas.

As he waited impatiently for Heize's arrival, his phone rang, and he quickly picked it up without looking at the caller ID.

“Chanyeol?"

His name was expressed in a strained voice.

“Chanyeol, it’s me.”

It was dead silent on his end. He was unable to say anything.

“Answer me please.”

His words and emotions were stuck in his throat, so all he managed to say was:

“Jinah.”

Surprisingly, it did not feel foreign on his tongue to call her by her birth name after so long.

“Can you meet me somewhere?”

Chanyeol, who was firmly set on never bringing Nana back into his life, declined the request.

“I don’t think that’s appropriate. I have a girlfriend now and you have someone too. I was mad at you for the way things ended, but I am very happy in my new relationship and I don’t want to screw...” The words leaving his mouth were cold and futile. He could try to convince Nana, but not himself. He was happy with Heize but their relationship lacked something important.

Emotionally, he felt unconnected from Heize. They were in love, she believed in him, their physical relationship was great, but Chanyeol hardly knew anything about her – her struggles, her dreams, her fears. In fact, Chanyeol couldn’t recall when they ever had gone that deep. He just wished that she could open up-

“I am pregnant.”

There was a long pause and all Chanyeol heard was the manual clock ticking as every second passed during this sudden, overwhelming confession. It felt like time was standing still. Chanyeol blankly stared at the light drizzle outside. Finally, he heard Nana whimper on the other end of the phone and reality dawned upon him. He swallowed. A man had touched her in that way, the way Chanyeol had, and now she was carrying another man’s child, not his. Anger and jealousy were building up inside him and his palm took the beating of his frustrations as he clawed his nails into it.

“Jonghyun and I broke up before he left for the army. It’s a long story but it was a bad breakup. I don’t even have his contact number anymore…I don’t know what to do.” Her voice was muffled and she sniffled as she spoke. “Can we talk? That is all I ask.”

The words hadn’t even left Nana’s mouth and Chanyeol was already grabbing his keys and heading out.

His world was spinning so fast and then he opened the door.

.

Heize stood two feet away, stunning in her tight-fitted black dress. She smiled as she saw his figure appear in front of her.

“Hey babe,” she said, standing on her tiptoes and kissing his lips. Chanyeol felt his stomach knotting up. 

He didn’t reciprocate her kiss, so she pulled back, a bit puzzled.

She saw his distraught, worried eyes. There was only one person who could worry him at this hour, during their date, on her birthday. She sighed.

“Whatever. Go.”

Chanyeol squeezed her shoulder with a quick thank you and promised to celebrate with her as soon as he got back.

He ran down the corridor leaving his apartment keys with her. As soon as Heize got inside the apartment, she fell to the ground and alone in the dark room, cried her heart out.

He wasn’t coming back tonight.

A/N: Hi guys! Sorry for the long delay. I was very busy. The next chapter is almost fully written and should be up fairly quickly. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Please comment down below and tell me your thoughts :)