So I asked for a review from Lady Comma's Review Shop and here it is! Thankyou for th review I have read it and will improve were you think it is needed ^^ I promise for my readers to improve my story :D

Story Title: Starting Over
Author: RaWrXx
Genre(s): Romance
Brief Description: Jess has just moved to Korea with her mum, at first she hates it and just wants to go back home. But that all chnges when she meets Chaejin, he makes her happy, but then she meets his bandmember and things start to change.
Rated H: No
Reviewed By: Adncr3

1. Title: [4/5 pts.]
Starting Over is a pretty generic title. Maybe try to go for something odd, or something unusual for a title that describes your story.

2. Poster/Graphics/Background: [5/5 pts.]
I’ve never given a perfect score on a poster before. I LOVE your poster.

3. Foreword/Description: [7/10 pts.]
Hmm, I like that you put parts of your story in the forward, but be careful not to give too much away. You don’t have to mention that you’re a first time author either, but it’s nice that you do.

4. Plot: [23/30 pts]
While your plot is a pretty popular one, I think you’ve done an okay job making it original. You could take it further though, I think. Try to think of some twists to spice up your plot. Perhaps look up daily writing prompts and see how you can work them into your plot.

5. Flow: [4/5 pts.]
Your flow is pretty good. Just remember that you don’t have to put more than one point of view in every chapter. Try to keep it limited to one point of view per chapter, or if there are multiple points of view, use the Omnipresent approach, that way you can write about lots of characters’ thoughts rather than just one at a time.

6. Characterization: [3.5/5 pts.]
Your characters are a little dry. Try to spice them up, figure out their personalities. For the celebrities in your fics, use videos and interviews on paper to figure out what they’re like in real life. Even though this is fantastical in nature, you can still base a lot of it on real life too. Try to figure out how Seyong would react to the situation. Maybe how your main character would react too. Give them life so that they jump off the page and that they are memorable.

7. Grammar/Spelling: [16/20 pts.]
I really didn’t find many grammar or spelling errors, so good job! Watch your writing for wordiness, and capitalisation though. In a couple of places, you reiterate the subject within the same sentence two maybe three times. You don’t need to do that at all. Here’s an example:

"Seyong-ah" she pulled away for air, her hands still tangled in my hair, my hands firmly around her waist. That's when I remembered where I was, and what I was doing. I groaned, reluctantly pulling myself away from Jess. I stormed over to the other side of the room and kicked over one of the chairs.

"Seyong-ah" I heard Jess whisper much more timidly than before, I turned round to see her confused and frightened face.

(Ch. 9).

All of this could be condensed in the following way:

“Seyong,” she pulled away. Her hands were still tangled in my hair, and my hands were firmly gripping her waist. ((NB: If you just write “my hands firmly around her waist” it kind of leaves the reader to wonder firmly what around her waist.)) That’s when I remembered where I was, and what I was doing. I groaned, reluctantly pulling myself away from Jess, stormed over to the other side of the room and kicked over one of the chairs.

“Seyong,” Jess whispers much more timidly than before.

I turned around to see her confused and frightened face.

Just a note, anytime you are speaking about another person, even if it is in their point of view, you need to put it on another paragraph. Also, don’t feel the need to add Korean honoriffics to the names of your characters. No one speaks that way in Englsih. I know you are writing a fic about Korean idols, but you are writing it in English to be read by mostly english language speakers or learners.

8. Overall Enjoyment/Entertainment: [19/20 pts.]
You know what, I enjoyed it. When I first saw your story I thought it was going to be cliche, but actually it turned out really well. I enjoyed it.

Comments/Feedback: You’ve done a good job so far, but there is still a bit of room for improvement. Perhaps you could get a Beta reader to look over your work too before you post it? Also - regarding the culture, there are a lot of places that you can look up for Korean culture. Especially videos on youtube. Eatyourkimchi’s youtube has a few videos on Korean culture, as does quiranger, TalkToMeInKorean (TTMIK), so look up a few videos. Korea’s tourism website also has some info on cultural norms. Do a little research.

Total: [81.5/100]