Talk Me Down - Troye Sivan

So if you don't mind, I'll walk that line
Stuck on the bridge between us
Gray areas and expectations
But I'm not the one if we're honest, yeah
But I wanna sleep next to you
And I wanna come home to you
I wanna hold hands with you
I wanna be close to you

Jihoon looks at the boy sleeping next to him, his thoughts running a mile a minute. It's so weird how someone who towers over him during the day can seem so small curled up on his bed at night. There are things he wants to say, and do, and stop doing, but he doesn't see the point in it. He just stares at the boy and thinks.

They're not lovers, this is a consolation prize for them both. Their hearts belong to someone else. They're running on stolen kisses and touches and it won't be long until they're found out. He's not sure what'll happen then but he's scared all the same. They don't want each other, but they do need each other and he doesn't know how he'll cope without this.

Here in the confines of his bed, Jihoon can pretend they mean more to each other. He can pretend they love each other, that they mean all those kisses they share. He can pretend the boy next to him is someone else. He can pretend he's someone else. He wants so much to love this boy, he wants so much more than mutual comfort. His bed is a world of possibilities and he wishes every night he didn't have to leave it.

Jihoon feels Mingyu squeeze his hand in that reassuring way he does, soft lips touching his cheek.

"Stop thinking, hyung." Mingyu's gruff voice asserts firmly. "Just come here."

Mingyu pulls him in tighter and Jihoon's thoughts stop running. Only Mingyu can talk him down like this. And it hurts.