It's Okay - Nell

I'm happy enough that we had those moments

I'm happy

I understand well enough that all encounters come to an end

I understand

Mingyu knew it was stupid, hanging on to something that was already gone, but he simply wasn't strong enough to deliver the finishing blow.  Theirs was a tale so ordinary and normal yet it felt singularly unique in its capacity to break Mingyu's heart a million times over. The romantic love was gone, the spark had died. Their friendship was still there and would always be but it's the pretence that really killed Mingyu.

They had met when they were trainees and formed a strong bond immediately. Joined at the hip, really. First they were friends and then their teenage feelings developed into something else. The love had been there since they met, the lust came suddenly. Being normal teenage boys they couldn't really resist the temptation when it was mutual and so they became a couple. It was so good and it made them both so very happy.

Then of course life happened. They were given their debut date and suddenly the somewhat carefree life of a trainee turned into the huge pressure of making sure they survived in an oversaturated market. Mingyu often felt guilty for feeling so much excited terror at the thought, of feeling so much pressure about it, when he looked at what Jihoon, Soonyoung, and Seungcheol  must've been going through.

Somewhere in all the chaos of filming the Seventeen Project and then debuting he hadn't even noticed that he and Wonwoo had drifted apart. They were still close as friends but they hadn't properly touched each other in months. He didn't understand why it happened to them. He desperately wanted to still be in love with Wonwoo.  He wanted to want nothing and no one but Wonwoo. Still, it wasn't to be. He saw the same in Wonwoo's eyes. Their time had gone, left them utterly unawares.

Yet he couldn't find the strength to let go of it himself. He needed Wonwoo to do it. Standing there, in the small bathroom sides brushing each other as they brushed their teeth Mingyu felt like he was suffocating. He washed his face and looked at himself in the mirror, his image wearing an accusatory expression. Why? It kept asking.

It was then that Wonwoo took Mingyu's hand in his and Mingyu went in for one last kiss. He didn't feel anything, no spark, no romance, no love.  Wonwoo broke away and matched Mingyu's sad smile. "We were good weren't we?"

"The best, really." Mingyu whispered and Wonwoo's knuckles.

Wonwoo  pressed their foreheads together and delivered the final words, his breath tickling Mingyu's lips. "Goodbye, lover."

And like that it was done. They both let out a sigh of relief, the pain replaced by bittersweet memories, and they walked out of the bathroom as best friends.