The wind roars and scourges tree and tower. Raindrops like glass beads splinter against the high windows of Hogwarts and the crows seek shelter between the old pantiles that tremble in the storm.

Only very few owls delivered packets or letters at breakfast that morning. Tonight they sit in the owlry, snuggling up to one another closely.

Jackson's hands are sweaty and so is his neck, although his body feels cold and shaky. Chava grips his arm tightly, dragging him further into the hallway. Laughter and warm light emits from the Great Hall but Jackson does not intend on going there.
His cloak is drenched, his feet swimming in his soaked shoes. The wet hair stains his eyes and he brushes it aside angrily.

„You're crazy“, Chava mutters as they walk towards the stairs.
She can talk, Jackson things cheerlessly. After hearing what Mark had done, what he had induced, Jackson's first urge was to run.

He ran over the grass that turned into mud beneath is feet, through the pouring rain, all the way to the borders of the Forbidden Forest and he considered entering it. The trees towered above him, black and howling. Until Chava suddenly stood by his side, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Chava is not typically emotional or good at comforting and Jackson knows that but in that moment he just turned to her and hugged her tightly.

„I really liked him“, he whispered and she said nothing, just endured the cold rain.

Jackson learnt about Mark's boggart from a Slytherin guy who told him with mockery and smugness what had happened. Maybe that is the worst part – not to hear it from Mark himself but some other guy. It underlines how important their relationship is to Mark. How much he really cares.

Jackson tries feverishly to understand why everything happened that happened. Why did the boggart take his form? Why is he out of all he people, he, the guy who is dating Mark, his biggest fear?
There is no clue but it leads to an even more significant question: Why is Mark being with him even though this are his true feelings for Jackson?

Jackson just can not grasp why Mark fears him.

Jackson had plans for Mark, pictures in mind and a Christmas gift already on his fingertips.
And now it is all gone. Their future decays as quickly as it took form.

„You're breathing like a rhinoceros. Calm down!“, Chava scolds him.

They make their way downstairs, toward the dungeons and the Slytherin common room.
Chava's down-to-earth speech is always more helpful than the pitying other people tend to give him – although Jackson would not mind if she asked how he felt.

„I'm so ing angry.“, he says, taking matters into his own hands.

„Why“, Chava says calmly.

Jackson loses his breath again, looking for words.

„W-hy? Why??!“, he cries. The answers to that are too many, so Jackson can't decide on what needs to get off his chest first. He just stands there, his lips quivering and at a loss for words, staring incredulously at Chava whose look is ever so nonchalant.

He just advances to speak when suddenly the door behind Chava opens. A tuft of red hair flashes up in the cool light of the dungeon.

It takes Chava a moment to realize what flustered Jackson so much he completely forgot how to speak. Eventually, she turns around, facing Mark whose eyes are puffy and his nose a little red.

„You“, Jackson says and so much moodiness radiates from that word that Mark feels the immediate urge to turn around on the spot and flee back into the classroom he came from.

Instead he looks down at his pale fingers. A lump of hotness is in his throat, pressing his eyes to cry.

When he got here, in the dungeons, not meeting Jackson was his very intention.

I can't talk. Not now, he thinks, forcing his lacrimal glands to repose. As he looks up finally, his eyes instantly go to Chava as a silent ask for help.

Meanwhile Jackson boils inside. He asks himself why Mark doesn't talk, why he doesn't besiege him with explanations and excuses at once, but is so quiet.
 

Just like it's nothing.

His subconscious mind tells Jackson that Mark cried, but the Gryffindor ignores it and won't listen to his worries. For the past days it was always Mark first. How is Mark feeling? What can I do for him? Will he like my Christmas gift? But now Jackson has to put himself first. It's obviously about time.

He steps forward, demanding the younger's attention.

„What. You decided to just stop talking to me? Avoiding me all day? Letting the Slytherins spread their talk. What is wrong with you?!“, he says and his voice gets louder in the process and Mark's fingers cover his eyes. The younger shakes his head.

Jackson can't take any more avoidance. It makes him incredibly sad, suddenly.

I liked you. I really did, he thinks and with the pain comes rage. He moves closer to Mark and grabs his wrist, uncovering the Hufflepuff's tear-stained face.

„Just talk to me!“, he commands angrily. He wants to hear that it's all just a stupid accident, that it was no boggart after all, that Mark doesn't...

„I'm sorry... I didn't know... it should not have taken that form... I“, Mark stammers. Chava returned his look before, but she does not intervene. Mark realizes that she must be confused about him, too. He can't blame her and it also doesn't matter right now. Jackson still grips his wrist, his eyes inquiring Mark's.

„So it really was a boggart“, Jackson interrupts with audible disappointment and distaste.
Mark nods.

„And it took my form, .“

Another nod.

„So I am your fear.“, Jackson concludes, disbelief taking over.

„Yes. No!“, Mark says loudly.
A firework of images and emotions runs through Jackson's brain. Feelings for Mark and against him are there, both very strong but with great hurt. Yes No...Jackson hates it. He hates disloyalty. He hates confusion and he hates cowardliness. And Mark is all of that, isn't he?

„There are things I need to tell you, Jackson, but right now I just... I need a moment... I want to tell you, I'm so sor-r-ry.“, Mark says, breaking into tears.
 

Not now. Then when?, Jackson asks himself cantingly.

„Yeah Mark, sure. The problem is I don't think I want to here any more from you.“, he replies patronizingly, and drops Mark's cold hand like a used tissue.
A gaze, stricken with fear, meets Jackson's and it stings, but not enough to turn him back. Quite the contrary, Jackson throws him a look of deep disgust.

„Jackson“, Mark aspirates, his eyes filling with tears like a glass jar.

„I didn't ask the boggart to take that form“, he says, his voice gaining steadiness although teardrops run down his cheeks.

„It was not my decision, nor intention, but it did. And I can't tell you why because I honestly don't know.“
Jackson bristles with anger.

„But I want to tell you everything else“, Mark concludes and proceeds to wipe his face with his cloak and inhaling deeply.

„Which is?“, Jackson asks quietly. Suddenly, his throat feels tight and his body tired.

„It's that I... that I...“, Mark says, gathering his thoughts and words. Jackson looks at him wearily.

„I really like you, started liking you. So much I... I tried to be someone who I'm not. I know it sounds pathetic and stupid. And so I wanted to do everything for you – with you! But I...“
Mark runs out of words and his look asks Jackson for a forgiveness.

Sounds like a -and-bulls story, Jackson thinks and is disappointed. It's no big misunderstanding. It's just what it is.

„It doesn't make any sense“, Jackson says honestly. His throat is getting tighter.

Stupid. Don't you start crying like a baby now, too!, he tells himself.

Mark blinks, his eyes moving to his feet.

„Yeah“, he says and it echoes in Jackson's head.
No objection.
No excuse.
No explanation.

„Okay“, Jakson says with a mouth as dry as sandpaper. As Mark opens his mouth again to speak, Jackson cuts him off.

„I've heard enough!“

His shoulders slump down and he shakes his head.

„It's enough, okay? No more...“

He turns around, ignoring the younger's gasp.

With his back to Mark, he stops.

„If you're lying to me, I can not know. But I know that you are not true to yourself and it's not good. I think we... we should just stay away from it.“, he says quietly and therewith begins to walk swiftly, because, as soon as he turns the next corner, he's crying.

Sorry for being incredibly late! But rather late than never, right?
Also, this chapter is now fun, I know...

But I love being back again, guys!!! :)