Mark sits on the grassland, his back leaning against one of the giant pumpkins that the old as hills gamekeeper Hagrid grows year by year. 

The sky is grey and blotchy like oil paint on a canvas. The chilly atmosphere helps Mark to think. 
It's Wednesday and so half of the week has already gone by. And yet Mark doesn't know what he wants.
He doesn't know what's scarier: Having a set date for his first time or his own anticipation for it. Because Mark always identified as cute and as nice and chary. 
Having with the guy he's only known for two weeks after just acknowledging his own uality, is not very chary, let alone careful. 

Mark has never wanted and feared something so much simultaneously. 

Besides, what if he ruins it? What if he freaks out and shows Jackson what an innocent duck he is?
Hufflepuffs won't be cool anymore. 

Lost in thought, Mark's fingers grate a dried leaf and spread the dust over the grass.

"I wish this place had wi-fi~", Mark says quietly. Internet access would allow him to research some things he's concerned about. His parents taught him about contraception and about STD's but the giant school called Hogwarts seems to have no books on that, let alone anything for gay people especially. 

Since last weekend, Mark ponders every day but he doesn't come to a conclusion.

Maybe Jackson really likes me a little bit and maybe I could just tell him..., he thinks hopefully and looks across the estate of Hogwarts. The afternoon sun is peeking through the clouds, putting golden crowns on the coppery trees. 

And there he is, Jackson, wearing a red golden scarf that flutters in the autumn wind.

"There you are!", the elder exclaims. His big smile shows Mark twelve perfect teeth. 

"Yeah~", Mark responds somewhat lethargically. Uninvited, Jackson flops down beside him. 

"So what are you up to?", he asks. His face is so close and Mark's lungs are running out of air.

"I was actually about to leave... for class.", Mark lies but Jackson's spirit can't be broken.

"Great, let me walk you!", the Gryffindor states, jumping to his feet before Mark can even figure out what class he should allegedly go to. 
Thrown off guard, he takes Jackson's hand and gets to his feet.

They start walking towards the front gate and Jackson puts an arm over Mark's shoulders.

"You look cute today", Jackson says. 

"Thank you", Mark replies and quickly looks over at the greenhouses to hide the blush that is crawling over his cheeks.

"I have Quidditch practice on Friday night. You should come and watch."

"Sure!"

They enter the castle and make their way towards the grand stairs. Mark notices that eyes and whispers follow them. 
The fact that he still hasn't figured anything out regarding Saturday night makes him panicky.

"Jackson, I...", he begins, stops in his track and turns towards the elder. 
Even the paintings on the wall are watching them. Jackson's look is open, anticipating anything Mark has to say.

Damn, I really like him, Mark thinks crestfallenly.

"I forgot something in the common room. Thanks for walking me though.", Mark lies for the second time. 

"No problem", Jackson says and his chest rises proudly like only a Gryffindor's could. 

"It was my pleasure", he adds and therewith snatches a kiss from Mark's lips that are still cool from the autumn breeze. 
Then, suddenly, he just hugs the younger, burying his nose in Mark's foxy red hair.
Somehow, that makes Mark's heart beat even faster than any kiss could make it. He's suddenly surrounded by Jackson's warmth and scent.
Quickly, he tilts his head, placing an innocent peck on Jackson's nose. The smile the elder sends him makes Mark edgy all over.

"See you at dinner, okay?", Jackson says quietly and Mark just nods.
Fumbling with his cloak, he watches the Gryffindor turn around and head back towards the moving stairs. 

It takes Mark a few seconds to remember that he said he needed to go to the Hufflepuff common room but as he wants to get a move on, the painting of a bard in a violet appearance grabs his attention.
The bard wriggles his eyebrows, making an obscene movement with his hips. 

"Keep your trap shut!", Mark spits at him, but his cheeks are already flushed. 
Upset, he turns on his heels and dashes out of the corridor in the direction of the Hufflepuff common. The bard's laughter trails off behind him.

Who cares about other people! Mark wishes he could think like that. Mark wishes he had to courage to just tell Jackson who he is and that things are moving too fast for him.
And also that he really likes Jackson, that he needs more than a casual relationship. 

If Jackson liked me, he would accept me for who I am. Do I even want a relationship in which I am not me?

...But I was myself today at the grand stairs and when we hugged. And Jackson was so, so...

Mark massages his temples and looks around. He ended up moving through the whole castle all afternoon, skipping class after class. But it's time for dinner now. Time to see Jackson and tell him. Mark knows that it's right. It's what his careful self would do, be honest and far away from any conflict and dishonesty - even if it meant that Jackson could become very angry at him.

The plan doesn't create a good feeling in Mark's guts, but having any kind of plan is slightly relieving.
He walks through the corridors of the basement and just reaches a stair leading upwards towards the great hall as a squeak makes him stop in his track.
At first Mark thought that he heard a mouse, but it's actually a Hufflepuff girl that emerges from behind a pillar.

She looks like a third grader, is very tiny but wears a big, purple bow in her hair.

"You're Mark!", she whispers. Her voice is full of admiration and so is the look in her big eyes.

"Yeah?!", Mark replies a little unsettled.

Suddenly, the girl jumps forward, throwing her small arms around Mark, hugging him tightly.

"You're the best!", she exclaims, all her weight leaning against the boy. Mark just pats her back in wonderment.

Finally, she pulls away, gazing at him once more.

"Because of you, my crush noticed me. He's from Ravenclaw and sooooo handsome but also smart and when you and Jackson got together he wanted to be my partner in Herbology and he said that he never realized how important Hufflepuffs are and that they are the best in Herbology and he bought me a potted plant the other day that produces nail polish, isn't it cute? Look!", she says in one breath and then extends her hand, showing Mark a row of colorful fingernails. 

"That's... nice.", Mark says who is very bedazzled and slightly overstrained by her fast talking.

"Yes! Thank you", she says happily and hugs him once more.

"You're the coolest Hufflepuff", she adds devotedly. 
Mark just waves at her speechlessly and watches as she dashes upstairs (not without turning around once more and giving him a thumbs up).

It is waiting at the foyer for him when Mark finally reaches the great hall. 

"So do you have a plan after your day off?", It asks casually.

"Not one bit", Mark replies gravely.