3 weeks after debut

  Today is Nana’s high school graduation and later we have a schedule at Weekly Idol. All of the members came to cheer for her along with Hoon. Jimin and I waited while I watched my favorite drama on my phone as she watched Unpretty Rapstar on hers. When we heard them call Nana’s name, everyone started cheering for her. After her announcement, we had to leave for the recording almost immediately.

  The Weekly Idol recording started and it was quite fun. Towards the end, we did profiles on each member and when mine was presented, it was chaos. The MC’s would not stop talking about it.

Lee Eunsol – age 19, main vocalist of Europa

25% Hispanic, 25% Thai, and 50% is Korean

Speaks 3 languages

Biggest fangirl of Ailee

  “Yeah, whenever Eunsol-ssi would see Ailee-sunbaenim on TV, she would scream in joy. I always hear her saying, ‘Oh, look at that unni, I want to be her!’” Byul, another member had said. I just covered my face in embarrassment. It is true that I love “that unni” but hearing my own fangirling made me never want to do it in front of the members again. The MC’s asked if I could sing one of her songs and I did. It wasn't a great performance, but it's trying that counts. Thankfully, the MC's thought it was good enough. "Ailee-ssi, I hope you're watching this. Please do a project with Europa. It will make this fan really happy," one said.

  The only thing that I wish hadn’t happened was when one of them asked how I could wear such a boring jacket with a cute dress. I still hadn’t given it back to Kyungsoo. What was I thinking wearing this? He might see this. I acted all flustered and avoided it without suspicion. To myself, I curse at how stupid I'm becoming lately. Did I really graduate from school like this? Recently, I've gotten myself in situations with me ending up as saying the most 4D answers.

  Europa left later and I hoped to God that they cut that part out. I have to give it back now. Minah, our second maknae asked me in our van where I got the jacket in the first place. “Oh, I just borrowed it from a friend.” Behind me was Jimin staring with a look in her eyes I can’t describe. It was almost like she knew whose it was. I decided to ignore it and pull my phone out to continue the drama I was watching.

  In the middle of the episode, a message popped up:

From Kyungsoo: I’m bored. Coffee?

   Aw, it was just getting good. Can't this wait? I had become three weeks behind on ​Fated To Love You ​​from being busy all the time. I found out that Byul also loves the drama, so we watch it together when we can. I paused it where I was and texted Kyungsoo back: ​​​

To Kyungsoo: You seem to have a lot of time suddenly, sunbaenim. I, on the other hand am a very busy woman.

From Kyungsoo: Haha, very funny. I’m going to be with Dongwoon-hyung so I wondered if you wanted to join us.

To Kyungsoo: Dongwoon….as in BEAST’s Dongwoon?

From Kyungsoo: Yes. It’s alright if you don’t want to.

To Kyungsoo: No, it’s alright. I'll come.

  I felt breathing on the back of my neck and turned to see Jimin too close to my face. She smiled awkwardly as she asked me what I was doing. I explained that I had made arrangements later tonight. “Oh, okey. Have fun,” she chimed and sat back in her seat. "Thanks... I think." Odd, but whatever. I return to the drama on my phone.

  Around 11:30 pm, I walked to a coffee stand and saw the two standing together waiting for me. Dongwoon is much taller than Kyungsoo, meaning me must tower over me since I’m shorter than Kyungsoo. He’s very handsome as well just like on TV. I remember having a crush on him during my early trainee days. I walk up to them and bow, “Hello, did you guys wait long?” “No, you’re fine,” Kyungsoo states. I turn to look at Dongwoon and properly introduce myself, “I’m Eunsol from Europa. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “I’m Dongwoon from BEAST. I saw your debut and I really liked it.” I can feel a slight blush crawling on my face. “Thank you sunbaenim. I'm also a fan of BEAST. Both me and Jimin.” He laughed and said how happy he is to hear that.  We went ahead to order our drinks and sat down at a table. The three of us were wearing masks and only took them off when we felt that it was safe enough. They would talk about embarrassing stories about their members and I laughed. The only embarrassing member of Europa was me and I wasn’t ready to make a fool out myself. Weekly Idol was enough for today. When they asked me about my members, I would throw my leader under the bus as I told them something that happened a long time ago.

  Once Dongwoon had become more familiar with me, he asked for my age and I told him. “Oh, then can you call me ‘oppa’?” It was so sudden, I nearly choked on my drink. It must’ve surprised Kyungsoo as well since he did the same thing. Oppa? I just got used to calling Kyungsoo by his actual name and not his stage name. But Dongwoon already wants me to address him as “oppa”?

  He starts laughing, “I’m kidding. You don’t have to call me ‘oppa’. But you also don’t need to use ‘sunbaenim’ either.” I mentally thank him for getting me out of that awkward situation. I’ve handled too much today. “I’ll be right back. Going to find a restroom,” Dongwoon announced. As soon as he left, there was an awkward silence. We sipped our drinks, not talking to each other. Oddly enough, I started to get uncomfortable. Not because of being alone with Kyungsoo, but something else. He saw the look in my eyes and asked what was wrong. “Do you feel weird? Like someone is watching you?” He looks around, “There’s not many people around.” Maybe it’s just me.

  Weeks have passed and I still haven’t told him that I like him. I felt that we should stay as friends for a while longer. Rushing things was one of my pet peeves and it isn’t going to change. Besides, it was also so I could be sure of how I felt about him. “How’s your group activities going?” Kyungsoo asks out of the blue. “Oh everything’s fine. Kind of tiring, but I’m not really complaining.” I almost told him about my Weekly Idol recording but remembered that I was wearing his jacket during that time. He might figure it out I thought. As usual, I asked about his activities.

  Dongwoon finally came back, “Sorry, I got lost. I’m still not familiar with this area.” I tell him its okey and we got up to leave. We put our masks on and made sure of our surroundings. Kyungsoo insisted on making sure I got to my dorm safe. Such a cliché. I don’t really mind though. It meant more time with him.

  We got to my dorm and before I went inside, he stopped me to say something. “That reminds me, where’s my jacket?” My face is red and my words came out as stutters, “Oh, your jacket. I-I still have it.” I told him I would get it and invited him inside. The dorm was dead silent and I had to tip-toe to my room and grab it. “Here.”

  “Thank you. I’ll see you later. Good night.” Kyungsoo walked out quietly. Something inside me said to go out and see him one more time. I tried to fight it but ended up going outside anyway. Outside, it was slightly snowing. Was there a report on a chance of snow tonight? I ran to Kyungsoo, who was still nearby, and called for him. “Eunsol-ssi, are you crazy?! You didn’t put your coat back on!” He scolded me.

  That moment, I had no idea what was coming over me. “Sunbaenim, I….” Don’t. “I…” Don’t say it. “Can I call you ‘oppa’?” Wait, what?​​​​ It was too late to take it back. His eyes grew wide. “You ran out here without a coat just for that,” he raises his hand to my forehead, “are you feeling alright?” I swatted his hands away, “All you had to say was ‘no’.” I turned to walk away then felt him wrap his arms around me. “Yes. I’d like that.” Naturally, my cheeks flared. It’s not exactly what I meant to have happened but I suppose I’m happy it did. The mood had been ruined again, though, by that same uncomfortable feeling from earlier. I try to ignore it as I say good bye.

  I walk back inside and see Miyoung walking about, rubbing her eyes. “Oh, did you get back?” “Yeah. I’m going to bed now. Good night, unni.” “Night,” she replies with a sleepy smile on her face. I hop in my bed and fall immediately to sleep.

5 days later

  My bad feeling hasn’t stopped. If anything it got worse. During our lunch break, I decided to let Jimin in on what was going on. “SO YOU DO LIKE HIM?” Some people around us looked at us. I hit her arm and tell her to keep it down. “Sorry,” she whispered. I switched to speaking in Thai so no one will understand us. “I had a weird feeling the other day. Like as if someone was watching me.” She stayed silent for a while thinking. “Well, we are idols now. There’s going to be paparazzi following us. When did you start feeling like that?” “When I went out for coffee with Dongwoon-sunbaenim and Kyungsoo-oppa—”

  “Wait, you met BEAST’s Dongwoon?” Is that really what she got from what I just said? “Yes, Jimin-ah, I met him—” I’m cut off again, “Did you get a signature for me?”

  “Jimin-ah, please.” I look at her with scolding eyes. “Okey, okey. Anyway, just be careful. Just standing next to him can be misunderstood.” Not really a solution to my problem but I just said yes. “Now back to what you said earlier, ‘oppa’ huh?” She smirked at me. “Seriously, we’re not talking about this.” She continued to tease me. "Ooo~ someone has an oppa~." 

  Byul came up to us to go back into practicing. But on our way to the practice room, I saw Kyungsoo walking towards us. “Oh, hello,” we greeted him. He bowed back and turned to me, “I need to talk to you.” His tone was serious. Before I could say anything, he grabbed my hand and took me away. “Where are you going, we have practice?!” was the last thing I heard Byul say.

  He ended up taking me to the empty studio where we usually go. “Oppa, is something wrong?” He didn’t look at me and stood quiet. My mind started thinking of the worse possible scenarios. Did someone see us? Did someone follow us? Finally, he speaks, “I don’t really know how to say this.” I’ve heard these words before, but I know that this isn’t a confession. “Remember the feeling you told me about from the other night?” No, please no. I knew this would happen.

  “Well, it turns out that—” “No, it’s not possible.” I couldn’t hear it. I didn’t want to. He pulls his phone out and shows the article of him standing outside of my dorm with me. My face is blurred out, but I know. In bold, it writes “EXO’s D.O with girlfriend in middle of the night!?” I ruined his reputation. Tears are flowing down my face. “It’s….it’s my fault.”

  “No, I asked you to come out.” He’s trying to make me feel better. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I didn’t tell you yet,” words were coming out of my mouth with no thoughts. “Tell me what?” I didn’t even answer him, I just ran away. I hear him yelling out my name but I couldn’t look at him right now.

  I hide in one of the girls’ bathroom and start bawling. Even though I heard someone walk in, it didn’t stop me. “Eunsol-ah, is that you?” it was Amber. She bends down and holds me, “what’s wrong? Tell me.”

  “Unni~, I ruined his reputation. I ruined it and I didn’t get to tell him my feelings.” I cried harder and didn’t really care about what I was telling her. Amber just held on to me, rubbing my back. “It’s okey. Everything will be okey.” She didn’t ask any questions.

  Later, Amber took me back to my dorm. Outside was Jimin and Kyungsoo waiting. I thanked Amber for taking care of me and she hugged me one last time. Jimin ran up and grabbed my hands. “Are you okey? I tried calling you but you never answered.” Behind her was Kyungsoo with worried eyes. “Yeah, I needed to be alone.” She knew I wasn’t really alright but didn’t go further into it. “Hey, I need to talk to him alone. I’ll be right in. Can you make me some tea?”

  “Sure.” She rubs my shoulder then leaves us two. I walk slowly to him and look him in the eyes. I thought that I should tell him. “Oppa, I need to—” “Before you say anything,” I’m interrupted once again today. It was starting to get on my nerves, “I talked with my manager to fix it.” I took a deep breath. I can do this. There’s no other chance, not a good one anyways.

  “Oppa, listen to what I have to say first.” Tears crawl out again, but not as violently as before. He looks even more worried. “I wanted to tell you later, but now that this happened, it seems that it’s going to be rushed," a forced laugh comes out of my mouth. "Eunsol-ssi, you're really making me worry, what's wrong?"

  "Nothing is wrong, I promise." I look down and make the final decision. “Kyungsoo-oppa, I also like you.” I stepped closer and pulled him close. "I like you." And then he hugged me back. Not exactly romantic, but I finally said it.

Authors note: here's my longest chapter so far~ this was really hard for me to write. I had no idea how i wanted Eunsol to confess. There was many choices but i wanted to go with this. Hope you guys like it! See you in the next chapter!