SEVEN

      I'm happy Hyesung's happy. But Hyesung being happy means him being weird. I mean, I've never seen him so open and comfortable about himself. I mean... he looks really confident all of a sudden and I don't understand why. Where is my awkward Hyesung ? My annoying Hyesung ? My shy but vulgar Hyesung ?

I thought it'll be okay in the morning, but he's just like the previous night and he's whistling happily as he walks to the bathroom and gets a shower. I can't help groan and push the pillow on my head. He's too loud for such time in the morning, and ! I'm not sure I like this Hyesung. I'm not used to it.

The knock on the door forces me out of bed, and wrapped in the cover I open the door and look up at John. He smiles warmly and hands me a plate.

“Breakfast.” He says and I raise my brows.

“Huh, thanks ?”

“It's included in the price of the room.” He says, and after a few seconds I assimilate his words and smile.

“Thanks.”

“If you want more just come downstairs. There'll be plenty left.”

I nod and thanks him silently.

“Well, Razzak called and said he'll come around today. He said it'll be good if he could see you.”

“Huh...” I look up at John dumbly. “Why ?”

John smiles and shrugs. “I guess he likes you boys. He paid for three nights by the way, so you don't have to worry about anything.”

“Huh ?” I'm really stupid this morning, and blinking my almost invisible eyes, I've a hard time to understand why anyone would be so nice to people like us. “It's okay man. I mean, he doesn't have to...”

“It's already paid. So enjoy.” Said John before patting my shoulder and walking away.

Still confused, I close the door and walk to my bed where I sit crossed legged with the plate still in hand I stare at stupidly.

“What's this ?” Asks Hyesung when he comes out of the shower.

“Breakfast.” I say distantly and hand him the plate he frowns at but still take.

“You okay ?” He asks, sitting on the other bed before biting in a toast.

“Huh, Razzak.” Hyesung stares at me, chews and waits for my next words. “John said he paid for three nights.”

“Really ?” Why does Hyesung look like he's... beaming ? I'm really starting to feel like I've missed something while standing in the middle of it. “That's great. We should stop by his shop to thank him.”

“No need. He's coming around today. He wants to see us too.”

“Oh.” Hyesung finishes the toast and says, “Do you know why ?”

I shake my head, hang it down and sigh. Without adding anything, I fall back on the bed still wrapped in the cover and try to sleep some more.

“Hey Minwoo !”

I don't answer and believe if I ignore the boy he'll just leave me alone. I'm really an idiot for thinking that though because suddenly I'm being shaken too much for my liking.

“What ?” I say, opening my eyes to glare at a smiling Hyesung.

“Do you think John has banana milk ?”

I stare and blink, wondering if I heard right or if I'm not just simply sleeping. He can't be serious. He can't be ing...

“I don't know !” I shout, outraged to be shaken awake like that for a damn banana milk.

Hyesung looks taken aback as he leans away and raises his brows at me.

“Okay.” He says, as if I'm the one over-reacting. “I'll just take a look downstairs.”

I groan and roll on my side in hope to fall back asleep and eventually be left alone. Hyesung shuts the door a bit too loudly in my taste, but I can disregard it now I'm alone and allowed some peace of mind. Gosh ! It's been too long since I could enjoy some alone time, and I sincerely appreciate it.

 

      It feels like I've landed in some parallel dimension when, after waking up a couple hours later, I find Hyesung sitting in the living room with John and Razzak. The three of them are laughing and talking together as if they're a family, and the sight brings a strange pang in my guts. Not that I'm bothered to see Hyesung happy, but somehow... I feel envious of such perfect family image I never had the chance to experience even once.

I hate these thoughts. I've been keeping them at bay for years. Every time I was seeing a happy family on the street, on TV or simply next door -I was burying deep down this envy I had for something I knew I'll never get. It hurts to be so aware even at such age that this happiness everyone love so much will never be part of your life -and even if I disregarded it all these years, at this right moment such emotion comes back and I hate it.

“Hey.” I say with a small smile, and looking at me, the three in the living room welcome me with a warm smile making me uncomfortable.

I was already never comfortable around people, so finding myself at such kind of reunion giving too many weird vibes bothers me. I don't really want to be here, because I know it's only an impression I have and this happy family doesn't exist and never will. It's just a facade, a facade the three aren't even aware of maybe and I shouldn't get worked up because of it.

“Hello Minwoo. Did you sleep well ?” Asks Razzak as I near the table and sit with them.

“Yeah.” I say, nodding.

Beside me, I can feel Hyesung's eyes on me, and I'm sure he noticed something was off about me. I can ignore it, as long as he doesn't bring it up.

“Well, John said you wanted to see us.” I say, hoping to get all this bull over with soon and get back to my (maybe ty) but real life. A life were dreams aren't sold and reality has nothing to do with what you see on TV.

Razzak nods. “Yes.”

“He said you paid for three nights too, thanks.” I say honestly even if uncomfortable about such kindness. “But you didn't have to.” Razzak's smile vanishes slowly before the man glances at John then at Hyesung.

I feel like something's going on, and I hate to be so ignorant about it.

“Minwoo.” I look at Hyesung and furrow my brows at him.

It's too soon after my awaking for me to think so much about something I know nothing about, and I'll appreciate if someone could enlighten me.

“Razzak has an offer for us.” Says Hyesung, and I can't help the suspicious look I give the man.

He was maybe nice so far, but you can never be careful enough in the street and people's kindness always comes with a price. Which is why I don't accept it. People aren't generous just to be generous. They always want something in return. Nothing's free in this world, even charity. It's all a way for people to feel good about themselves. To feel important and better than others for helping poor little kids suffering so much.

I hate it. I hate this hypocrisy and I hate to be seen as nothing more than a charity case who didn't have chance in life. So what if I didn't ? It's not because I didn't grow up in a loving home nor had what most kids had it means I'm unhappy or even in need of help. I can fend for myself, and all these people thinking every poor souls out there need their charity to survive can all go themselves.

We don't need them. We don't need pity and we don't need anything but to be left the alone. I've survived up to there, and I did it on my own. I don't need them. I don't need no one and I know I shouldn't get so worked up on my own like that, but I just hate such kind of stuffs.

“No thanks.” I say, staring at the man.

“Minwoo ! Listen to what he's to say at least.” Says Hyesung, and as always I'm such a pathetic soft heart to him.

“Okay.” I say, sighing and already fed up by what the man has yet to say.

“I understand your reluctance. It's smart actually,” It's supposed to be a compliment, but it upsets me somewhat. “I don't want to force you or Hyesung to do anything. I'll just tell you what I can afford you and it'll be up to you to take it or not.”

I nod, waiting in growing impatience for what Razzak has to say. I'm practically set to refuse whatever he'll have to offer, but for Hyesung, I still listen. I don't want him to think I refused blindly, and if even after listening to the man and refusing his offer the boy doesn't get why I don't want it... well, I guess some talk will be needed. Then, if we still don't agree, I guess we'll have to go our separate ways. I don't get why it hurts so much to think about such stuff, but I definitely can't risk more than that for this boy, and it was meant to happen one day anyway.

Hyesung and me have nothing in common, besides being in the street -and if parting is the best for everyone, then so be it.

“There's a place a few miles from here for teenagers in your situation. It's nothing to do with social services.” Says Razzak quickly, as if he knew only speaking of them would scare me away. I can't help wonder how he knows that so well, but it's not the topic right now. “It's run by a good acquaintance of mine. He keeps going thanks to private donations. He's getting a good recognition for what he does, and if you like I could get you in touch with him.”

I narrow my eyes at the man and think about his words. I feel like he's too vague in his explanation, which makes me curious.

“What's this place exactly ?”

Razzak smiles. “It's just a house, with four bedrooms and all the freedom you want. Gabe isn't a foster family, he doesn't try to get you to do things you don't want. He's not here to play your parents nor teacher. He just wants to help by offering a place to stay until kids get back on their feet. I talked with Hyesung and I know before the street he was doing pretty good at school.”

I look at Hyesung in surprise. He's never told me that before and I wonder why. With a small smile, he looks too awkward face to such information, and I can't help wonder why.

Thinking about it, I realize he never talked much about his life. He maybe told me about the reason for him to end up in the street, but he never talked about how it was before that. How was his school life. How was everything.

He certainly knows more about me than I do, and I can't help feel frustrated by that. I never liked to let people in, but Hyesung managed to do so too easily and now I feel exposed (if not threatened). It's stupid. I guess it's stupid, but I can't help fear he's gonna turn on me and betray me in the end. I don't know where this come from, but I experienced it already in the past and promised myself it won't happen ever again.

Therefore, at this right moment in this living room with these men and this boy I gave my trust to I start thinking and it's not good. Nothing good never come out of my too deep thoughts, and I can't help feel like something's never gonna be the same ever again -and I fear it'll be this relationship I built with a boy I in fact don't know much about but still trust too much.

“He said he'll like to resume his education.” Razzak's voice brings me out of my thoughts, and after glancing at Hyesung, I nod absentmindedly to the man. “What about you ?”

“Huh ?” Blinking, I look from one man to the other before focusing on an encouragingly smiling Hyesung. I don't get where is this conversation at and I can't hide my confusion.

“There's certainly something you'll like to do. You weren't born in the street, Hyesung told me that much.” I can't help send a glare at Hyesung for that. “So, what is it ? Gabe can help you reach your goal, if you let him, of course.”

“I don't need him.” I say, maybe too harshly, but it's stronger than me. Every time I'm confronted to people's helpful hand I've to hit it away and get far away from it. I can't trust anyone, mostly adults like Razzak, or John, or even this Gabe.

They don't know about the street. Don't know how it is. Don't know how it works, and they think they can take advantage of kids like me just because we've no one and we're nobody. I experienced it enough to know it well, and I can't help hate Hyesung for not figuring it out already. He saw enough to know we can't trust people, but here he is, being all comfy with two guys we know nothing about and met last night.

It's not right. I can't believe he can't see it and I feel like shaking some senses into him. How can he still be so naive after everything that had happened and everything I hammered into his mind. He should know better than that, and it annoys me he doesn't.

“You can think about it.” Says Razzak, and my only reply is a determinate stare.

“Please Minwoo.” Says Hyesung, and looking over at him, I stiffen when his hand falls on mine.

“I need a shower.”

I was never good in face of conflicts, and honestly, I don't want any. I don't like trouble (even if they love me) and I just want to live in peace. I thought Hyesung was the same, that he had understood me. But no, I don't need him to tell me to know he wants to meet this Gabe and get help from him. It pisses me off, but as annoyed as I am, the only idea of sending him away to some stranger we know nothing about scares me.

I can't abandon him like that. What if something happens ? I know too much what people are capable of to part from him knowing he'll go to this place on his own. What if this Gabe's some ert ? What if he abuses kids living with him ? What if he's a monster and I let Hyesung go to him on his own just because I don't want any trouble.

I can't do that. I want to, I don't want to get involved but I don't need to think it over to know I won't let Hyesung go alone even if it means I've to go too. I plan to persuade him to drop it and resume our life in the street... but thinking about it like that, I feel the boy won't accept it.

Why would he ? He's a chance to resume a life he had and loved. What sane person would pass on such opportunity to stay homeless and risk their life at every corners ? I understand why Hyesung won't do it, even for me... and I hate the fact I'll do anything for him.

What the 's wrong with me ? I was never like that before, and I hate this boy for that.

      The water's hot on my skin but I barely feel it lost as I am in my thoughts. I'm trying to figure how to convince Hyesung to just come with me and forget ever hearing about this Gabe, but no matter how hard I try -none of my plans work. Hyesung won't pass on such chance just to be with me, and I won't leave him on his own for such thing. I'm frustrated with myself for that, but I guess I started to accept the fact I care about the boy -more than I ever did for anyone or thought I would.

Having someone beside you is great. The feeling of having someone to trust and relay on is something I never thought I would experience one day. But caring about people . It hurts my head and twists my insides painfully. The only idea something could happen to Hyesung because of me is torturing, and just to avoid it I'll do anything. I don't know if the boy's aware of that, and I hope he's not -because it'll be ing embarrassing. Mostly if he doesn't feel the same.

      I'm sitting on my bed with a bathrobe on when a light knock's heard and the door opens slowly. I need only a glance to recognize Hyesung and I can't help sigh inwardly. I knew he'll come, I was waiting for him actually, but this all situation's tiring me out and I don't want to deal with it.

“You okay ?” He asks and I scoff.

“Yeah, sure. What about you ?” I look up at him with a grin and he sits on his bed playing nervously with his fingers.

“You don't want to go there, right ?” He says, lowering his head like a sad little boy.

I feel bad for him at the right moment and I can't help curse myself for that. I'm suddenly aware I'll just have to tell him we won't go and just resume our life and he will follow me. I can't believe I enjoy having this power over him, but then, a single look at him breaks the feeling.

I can't do that to him. I can't support seeing him so bad and I want him to be happy (as annoying as he can be when happy). I don't want to hurt him, and it's new for me to feel such thing. I don't have experience in such field, but I've this instinct to protect the boy and do my best to make life good for him.

It's ridiculous, and my inner voice repeats me nonstop what a mistake I'm doing if I go to this place. But even that isn't strong enough to convince me to be selfish and drag Hyesung with me back in the street -I can't because I can see it's not what he wants and if he had to go back out there he'll suffer.

It's a hard decision I've to make, and I hate having such responsibility. Hyesung could decide on his own and go if he wanted, but him like me don't want to leave the other behind and will do anything the other want. I could definitely take advantage of this, but instead I'm more than considering giving up my desire for Hyesung's happiness.

It's stupid. I feel stupid but nothing's better than the smile on his face when everything's good for him.

“I don't.” I say and he stiffens. “But,” He looks up. “Do you ?”

Hyesung his lips and averts his gaze awkwardly. He don't need to tell me he wants to go, because I already know he does. But I still want to hear it. I don't want the all responsability, so making him voice his desire helps a bit with the burden I suddenly have on my shoulders.

“Yeah.” He says, his voice turning huskier on the last syllable. “But if you don't wan...”

“Why do you want to go ?”

He tenses up and looks up at me. “Huh, well... Razzak said his friend could send me back to high school for my last year and... I'll really like that.”

I frown and observe him before saying, “That's all ?”

“Huh ?”

“School ? You just want to risk it for school ?”

I'm not upset nor even bothered, just... I don't know, confused maybe. I can't understand why anyone would be so eager to go to school, and I wasn't expecting Hyesung's arguments to be only that. I thought he would tell me he wanted a real home again, a bed, a bathroom with running warm water and food at every meal. Instead, all he seems to care about is school, and I don't get it.

“Well, yes.” He says, looking at me. “I want to graduate and go to college. I want to make a life for myself. Won't it be good, if we were able to work and have money ? We'll be able to get our own place and... We won't have to worry about anything anymore.” The smile on Hyesung's face is all I need to cheer up, and I can't believe how fond of this boy I am.

I'll do anything for him, and...

Wait ! What ? What did he say ? He wants to live with me ? Why ? I mean... he wants to live with me, to stay with me, live with me ? I... I, I don't know, I... It's weird. I never dreamed of something like that and here it is, offered to me. I won't say I don't like it, it's just... I didn't have any real expectations up to there besides being lucky enough to get spotted by a sponsor to get out of the street with all the risks coming with.

! I was actually ready to get into such business knowing how ty and shady it could be. I never really thought about it, or at least, I know everything about it and was just hoping to be lucky enough to meet the right person. It sounds so stupid now I think back about it. I mean, it's not different from bargaining our fate with this Gabe. Going to this guy's place's certainly safer than what I was hoping for all this time on my own spent in clubs dancing.

Damn, I feel like I avoided the worst and all that thanks to Hyesung.

This boy really turned my world upside down, and it looks like for the best. I don't want to think where I would be today if I hadn't met this boy, and suddenly, I want to try this Gabe's place too. I want a chance, and with Hyesung beside me, I know I can risk it. I can risk it because for once, things doesn't seem that bad, and these people downstairs look like great ones.

I hope I won't regret it, but I trust Hyesung, and Hyesung trusts these guys.

“Let me think about it, 'kay ?”

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I wanted to update earlier this week, but I got busy and couldn't.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and you still like the story ^^

Thank you for your support.