The sun was barely up and my eyes yet still closed but I was already strolling through the zoo. Around me was almost impenetrable whiteness that made me feel like I was actually in the middle of the South Pole, when in reality it was just a simple fog. I had shovel in one hand and bucket in the other, only my mind was completely empty. I wasn´t a morning person so I hated morning shifts. Especially today.

“So you say all the would fit in just one bucket?” Donghae snorted and I wished I could shut my eyes tightly and pretend I was lying at home in my bed.

“Hey, are you ignoring me?” Donghae asked again and I let out a grumbling noise that I hoped would satisfy the annoying brunette.

“Yesterday I had a feeling that you were more fun, this is disappointing,” he then sighed and I rolled my eyes. Sorry for being boring.

I severely regretted even starting a conversation with him last night. Donghae was quick enough to find my face among the zoo employees on the internet and when I came to work in the morning, he was already standing in front of the gates and waving at me. I told him to go away but he threatened me that he would make a scene here. So in the end I brought him inside with me.

“Oh, so that´s how you get in,” Donghae exclaimed, when I opened the metal door from behind the cage with exotic parrots.

“Hurry inside!” I scolded because even with the long metal chains in front of the door, one couldn´t have been careful enough. If only one of these guys flew away, it would cost me my year income.

“Ew, that´s disgusting,” the brunette whined, when I began cleaning the cage from the excrements and bits of uneaten fruits.

“Wanna try it?” I asked but my voice came out rough because it was early and I haven´t spoken much yet.

“Did you go out drinking without me after all yesterday?” Donghae laughed and I felt pretty much annoyed. Why did he choose me as the victim of his stupid remarks? Was it because I didn´t let him die? Did I make him angry?

“Shut up,” I in the end retorted and hurried to have my job done.

I went to dispose of the dirty bucket and brought a new one filled with water. There were many things that needed to be done in the cage before I could start with another job. I began cleaning the tall windows and a red parrot was sitting above me and laughing his off.

“I like that one, can I take him home with me?” Donghae was watching the red parrot with amusement.

“Who will take care of it when you die?” I answered coldly.

“That wasn´t nice Hyukjae,” Donghae frowned. I shrugged and continued wiping the glass clean. After spending only a few minutes with the guy, I stopped caring about my language. I stopped caring about him altogether. He was a horrible jerk.

After finishing at the pavilion of exotic birds, my task was to feed ducks. The zoo was already open by then and people started slowly flowing in. Most of my colleagues have already noticed the person following me like a shadow and it didn´t take long before rumours spread that it was the suicide from two weeks ago. Nobody dared to approach us straight but my phone was full of messages from my curious co-workers. Even Yesung posted a selca with ´it´s that sick guy again´ note attached to it.

“Is this all you do?” Donghae asked me while I was throwing crackers and dry buns into the pond.

“What do you mean?” I asked but didn´t even look at him.

“Cleaning and feeding ducks. What a lousy job,” he snorted and sprawled himself on a bench next to me. The sun was slowly peeking through the dispersing fog and Donghae wanted to catch at least one sunray.

“I´m not a vet, I can´t treat animals. The most I do is casual feeding and cleaning. I don´t mind, they pay okay and the staff is nice. And it´s always better than sitting in an office,” I told him, pretending I wasn´t angry.

“Well, if you are not smart, you have to do the manual labour,” he shrugged, “my mom said so and I guess it´s true.”

That was the last straw. I let go of the bag with feeding and stomped to Donghae. I caught him by his jacket and pulled him up. Once we were face to face, I raised him some more and forcefully shoved on the ground.

“What the hell do you know about me?!” I yelled and kicked him. Then I turned around and, without any feeling of guilt, continued feeding ducks and swans.

“Looks like you are interesting only when you are angry,” Donghae chuckled. “Sorry, I went overboard.” He added with a small smile, completely out of his character. I decided to ignore him but the apology set off the pang of guilt I managed to suppress. I wasn´t the type of guy that would beat up others. I really wasn´t.

It became silent between us from then on. Donghae stopped asking stupid questions and I didn´t have the courage to look into his face. Once I finished the feeding, we returned to the staff room to take a break. Yesung was already there and making us a cup of tea. He was sitting by the table in his green uniform with the leader sign on his vest. Donghae was about to sit down but I used the chance when Yesung went to retrieve sugar and caught him by the sleeve.

“I didn´t hurt you, did I?” I asked him quietly and for the first time looked into his eyes. Donghae looked surprised at first but then smiled.

“No, don´t worry about that. I deserved a hit,” and with that he passed through me and sat down. What I felt? It definitely wasn´t a relief. More like sadness. But why?

I couldn´t shake off the bad feeling I had, whenever the brunette was around. That stomach churning and my throat going dry. It´s when you are expecting bad luck or a disaster. It was making me as uncomfortable as those dark eyes. Donghae´s eyes weren´t shining even when he was laughing. He was like a sad song at the end of a movie. The melancholic feeling of the music lingers at the tips of your fingers and you feel immediately down.

“So it´s really you,” Yesung came back and sat opposite to me, next to Donghae, “the guy that wanted to play with lions the other day.”

“Yeah, that´s me,” Donghae chuckled awkwardly. “You have a nice way to start a conversation.” He then smirked and of course Yesung felt bad for saying something like that.

“Don´t mind him,” I mumbled against the rim of my cup. I was warming up my fingers and breathing in the sweet smell of the tea.

“I was surprised to see you here today,” Yesung cleared his throat. He was picking his words carefully, speaking slower than usually. Just this much power Donghae had over all the people present in the room. “Why did you decide to follow our Hyukjae?”

The question was exactly what I wanted to ask too. Why the hell me? What does he want from me? I put the cup back on the table and turned my head to Donghae with expectation. The latter was as calm as a nightclub before midnight and was swirling the spoon in the tea.

“I want him to kill me.”

fanservice:

A fan told Hyuk: “oppa is cool today!”

Hyuk looked at his outfit and said: “I look like a gangster right?” Then smirked.

Good morning. :) Another update! I watched running man with Hyukjae yesterday and it was so funny. They were treating him like a baby. :D Take care and have a nice day - PandaHero