A few days passed and I still haven´t seen Donghae. It was seriously worrying because the latter was practically glued to me by now. I couldn´t believe myself, what happened to me that I said something so rude?

I don´t actually care about the fact that Donghae happens to be gay. Selfishly I´m fixed on my own persona, wondering about my uncalled for and unexpected behaviour. Since when was I such an insensitive person? Maybe since the beginning, only I wasn´t aware of that. I understand perfectly why Donghae has always been so cold towards me. Of course, it´s not like I deserved any better.

“What are you doing here, lazy bum? Get back on your feet and work,” I got slapped over my head with a script. I looked up to see Kangin frowning at me.

“I was just thinking the choreography over,” I told him sheepishly and he rolled his eyes at me.

I was in the practise room today because there were needed some serious changes of the choreography for the current musical we were showing. Many people suddenly fell sick and one of them was the main actor. Of course we had somebody to stand instead of him but I had to reteach the new guy the whole choreography again. I had to make everything balanced with many people missing and make sure the main actor knew perfectly what to do. Only if I wasn´t so unfocused today.

“It´s not like you,” Kangin looked away and murmured just for me to hear, “you´re always professional. What´s the matter?” That stung. I was back at square one with Kangin worrying about me. How pitiful.

“I´m fine,” I answered. It´s not like I wanted to lie but even if I told him, I wasn´t alright, there was no way how to describe him the problem. I was just a bad guy, that was it.

“Whatever,” the older man got angry that I refused to tell him and walked away. He must be disappointed in me.

In the end I stood up and forced myself to focus. I worked hard and as always realised that dancing was my life. With that feeling of emotions flowing through my body, thanks to the motion, I would be able to survive. The muscle pain and cold sweat were the indicators that I was taking the dance seriously. For a few hours I completely forgot about everything and led the flesh mob with my utmost endeavour.

But once it was over and I found myself alone in my empty house, all the thoughts came flooding back like a wave. Maybe I should call somebody. Not Kangin, I made him mad today. Thinking this over, maybe I shouldn´t call anyone after all. Who knows, I could make even more people disappointed when I´m like this. But the me now is the real me, isn´t it? How have I been doing it up until now then? How come I still have friends and family? Why didn´t they dump me? Maybe there´s something about me, that isn´t rotten. Or I could be a good actor too. I could have fooled everyone and perhaps even myself into thinking that I was special. Luckily my phone rang before I could get any further with my thoughts.

“Hello?” I answered without even looking at the caller. I was out of it, you see.

“Open the door,” the voice said and I had to quickly put the phone down to look at the screen. Lee Donghae. “What are you waiting for?” The rude voice commanded.

“Y-Yeah!” I just yelled and without even ending the call, rushed to the front door.

I don´t know where I tossed my phone but I was glad for my empty hands because as soon as I opened the door, a plastic bag landed in my hands. I watched as Donghae carefully put his phone into his coat´s pocket and lazily walked inside. He took off his shoes and stripped, until he was sitting on my couch only in jeans and black shirt. I closed the door in awe and finally checked the bag in my hands. There were two bowls of black bean sauce noodles and some kimbap too.

“Do you want a tea or beer with it?” I asked still somehow lost in this whole situation.

“Beer of couse!” Donghae called at me from the living room and went to look for the remote control. Feeling at home here?

I sighed and went to the kitchen to prepare it. I threw away the plastic wrap and put some side dishes from my mom on the plate. I brought it all together with the drink to the main room and with amusement found out that Donghae was watching a cartoon again.

“You like cartoons a lot, don´t you?” I said before sitting down on the coach next to him.

“Pretty much,” Donghae curtly answered and attacked his bowl of noodles. I didn´t ask anything after that anymore and took the chopsticks.

We ate in silence and I felt somehow uncomfortable. But Donghae seemed to be at ease as he even laughed a few times at the program. I decided to not do anything because I couldn´t possibly think of a single thing that would be okay for me to do. It was better for me to stay quiet and do as Donghae says, if I act on my own, I could hurt the latter again or make him mad. I´m not sure about his mood today.

“I thought you would be in the zoo today but you were in the theatre,” Donghae remarked without looking away from the TV.

“Uh,” I quickly swallowed because it seemed like he wanted to start a conversation, “it was an emergency so I exchanged my shifts. I´m going tomorrow.”

“Emergency? What kind?” Donghae turned to look at me and I blushed because I was very well aware of the sauce that was all over my mouth.

“Some actors fell sick,” I put quickly the bowl on the table and searched for the wipe, “so I had to adjust the choreography.” I found a tissue and cleaned my mouth, hopefully.

“So you are playing a better role?” Donghae asked and stuffed his mouth still watching me.

“No, not that,” I bit my lip and looked away. It was silent until the brunette managed to gulp down the food.

“Don´t you want to?” He asked me and put his empty bowl on the table, stealing some kimbap on the way back to his seat.

“I wanted at first but I like dancing more than acting and I can´t sing,” I was embarrassed to talk about my dreams and career in front of Donghae. “But I would love to try choreographing something bigger, or becoming an assistant in more famous theatres or studios. That would be nice. It´s not that I don´t like it right now, only I want to try new stages, you know. I think it´s the one thing I could really do well.”

I realised I was talking too much and I was even shooting that ugly smile all over the room. I blushed and cleared my throat. I was unable to rise my stare to look at Donghae. He must be thinking what a joke. I know I´m kind of lame and all but I can´t help it but have some dreams. Even tiny people can dream big. But saying it aloud is another thing, I should have kept my mouth closed. This is seriously embarrassing.

“Hyukjae?” Donghae called and I instinctively raised my head. “You were really handsome just now.”

“W-What?” I blabbered and was sure I was blushing crimson red. How can he say that? Me and handsome? I´m sure I sounded totally stupid and not cool. What do I do? I´m so embarrassed right now! Donghae began laughing.

“What are you blushing for?!” He laughed and hit my back a few times just like Kangin always does. I closed my eyes tightly and my chest swelled. I wanted to laugh too and finally smiled into my lap. “Yah, Hyukjae! I didn´t know you were like that! Make sure you make it big, okay?” He rubbed my back and grinned.

“Um,” I wanted to protest but I was smiling too widely for that. Hell, it felt so good.

“Seriously,” Donghae said and massaged my shoulders, “you´re all sore again.” He pulled on my arm so I would shift closer to him and rubbed my back and shoulders with his warm hands. I sighed as my body relaxed. My chest was hot and the corners of my mouth hurt from laughing.

“Donghae? I´m really glad you came today.”

Fanservice:

ELF: Oppa, Did you watch Donghae oppa’s series?
Hyukjae: No.
ELF: Why?
Hyukjae: Because it looked boring.

*Donghae praises Sungmin’s musical*
Hyukjae: But you fell asleep during my musical!
Donghae: Because Eunhyuk’s role was boring.

Good Afternoon! I´m glad I managed to surprise you with my story. I hope to confuse you soon again, though. Thank you for reading and don´t forget to keep checking on whiny Donghae and genius soldier Hyukjae! Take care! - PandaHero