Title: Distance

Author: [redacted]

How long until we call this...love?

The sun is filling up the room,

And I can hear you dreaming…

A calm breeze started to fill up the room, the curtains slowly fluttering. Hyukjae could hear the soldiers waking up and starting their daily routine. Everybody seemed to be overly excited, laughs could be heard from all over the room.

He stood up arching his back and walked to the curtains, a very white snow pile was laying outside. Winter is here, stronger than ever, he thought. His fellow colleagues were cheerful because soon it would be Christmas and they would be able to see their families. Hyukjae was grateful to the holiday seasons as well, but looking at this warm morning and all the joy, he could not stop himself from thinking about a certain someone who certainly was as excited as his new friends.

And please don’t stand so close to me,

I’m having trouble breathing.

“Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell rock! Jingle bell swing, and jingle bells ring”

“Oh No! Please, stop it!” Heechul started to scream at the nearest radio on the store. “I can’t with this Christmas songs anymore!”

“But hyung… today is Christmas eve, what were you expecting?” the taller boy standing next to the electronics area said.

“Aish, Kyuhyun-Ah! Why are you like this?” Heechul answered quite pissed off. “Don’t talk to your hyung this way! And I don’t care if it’s Christmas eve or Satan’s holiday party, I don’t like this catchy-gluey songs.”

“Oh yes, say the man who is part of a boy band.” Leeteuk laughed while holding a bunch of bags. “Anyway, is everyone ready? We have to go now, soon it will start to snow!”

Not far away from the loud and talkative group, Donghae was looking for a special gift, but it was hard to find something with all the hurry. It should be easy, buying a gift for his best friend, but what he could buy for the person he loved the most? 

Donghae and Hyukjae had a great relationship, they met when they were fifteen and since that early age, nobody coud break them apart. But some years after their debut, things started to turn into… something more. It started with a silly dare, just an innocent kiss. After that, the kisses started to be more frequent “It’s just for fun!” they would say. The kisses evolved to make out sessions, and later to some fun on the shower, on the back of the van, on the dorm’s couch, on Hyukjae’s bed.

He didn’t know exactly what led them to where they stood now. He didn’t even know what they are. Lovers? Boyfriends? Well, they are not exclusive, but since Donghae started to get serious with Hyukjae, he never dated anyone else. And suddenly it wasn’t just physical, just for fun, now Donghae could allege he loved his best friend. Heechul-hyung knew it, and Leeteuk hyung as well… and Ryeowook, and his mother, of course… well, basically, everybody knew it, except Hyukjae.

Donghae was scratching his head thinking about it when someone cuddled him from behind and startled him.

“Hello, beautiful.”

“Aaaah, Lee Hyukjae! Are you trying to kill me? We can’t do it right here!” Donghae nervously looked from side to side.

“Calm yourself, sweetheart. Nobody is looking.” The raven headed leaned over and kissed the shorter boy.

Donghae was dazzled, like he always was. Hyukjae asked for permission and Donghae opened his mouth to deepen the kiss. He should say it before it was too late. It was terrifying, but at the same time it was so splendid, heartwarming, excitable! Love, it was love.

“Hyukkie… I need to tell you…” Donghae was cut with Leeteuk’s loud voice telling them it was time to go.

The snow was slowing filling up the floor on sidewalk, Donghae could see the kids playing with snowballs, families walking happily together and couples holding hands. His footprints marked the ground, on his side he could see Hyukjae’s footprints as well. He tried to reach the raven head hand, surprising the same.

Soon. He would them him soon.

And I keep waiting for you you take me.

You keep waiting to say what we have.

Hyukjae caressed the brown hair before him, playing softly with the strands in the pillow. The sleeping boy moved a little, smiled in his sleep and murmured something until he was back at his dream world. And Hyukjae was there, staring, thinking how amazing it was to be so close with that boy after so many problems tried to break them apart.

It was very dark outside, he could barely see the snow falling from the sky. Donghae loved this winter season, according to him that time was perfect for cuddles. Hyukjae laughed at this, he would make fun of the shorter boy and say how corny the later was. However, the now blonde Hyukjae loved to cuddle with corny Donghae. He loved to give him little kisses on the check and to caress the side of his leg and whisper lovely words at his ear.

Donghae moved and now his back was facing the blonde. I love him, Hyukjae thought, I truly do. But when was the last time he said those three little words to him? Wait, what was the first time he ever told Donghae he loved him?

Hyukjae was mesmerized. He never told the shorter boy how he felt? Have Donghae ever told him about it?  It was so difficult, complicated, living on a world he had to hide love. He hid it even from himself.

The blonde leaned in ultil his lips were brushing the brown haired’s ears. He planted a soft kiss there and whispered those three little words, while the snow fell out the window.

How long till we call this love, love, love?

“Hey, Donghae! Amazing performance last night, congratulations!”

“Thanks, Jinwoo-ssi! You did great as well!” the boy bowed to show his hyung respect.

“Hahaha, Lee Donghae, no need for this formalities now! It’s Christmas, isn’t it? We should hurry and meet our loved one!” the elder soldier said laughing.

“Sure, Jinwoo-ssi! I’m happy I’ll be able to see my mother and brother and spend the holiday season with them.”

“Mother? Oh, right, that’s amazing as well! But I wasn’t talking about family.” Jinwoo winked when both walked towards the doors.

“No, but… what? Ah, wow, no, no, hyung! I’m just happy to see my Family members, that’s all. I missed them a lot.” Donghae nervously tried to change the subject.

“Of course, I imagine it, Donghae.” The elder soldier said. “But a guy like you, so handsome and gentle… there’s no way you don’t have someone special, right?”

Jinwoo gave the startled and quiet boy one last look, and kept walking to the exit. He knew Donghae had someone he loved, a guy don’t sighs while staring at the moon for nothing.

The street outside was crowded and still very cold, it was Christmas eve, afterall. The brown haired boy all of sudden didn’t know where to go. He kept walking without any particular direction until he found a department store playing a tradicional Billy Joel’s Christmas song.

Hyukjae once kissed me here, he thought, on Christmas eve, some years ago. Donghae planned to declare his love on that day, but he was too scared. He walked inside the store and remembered how difficult it was for him to find a good present for the dancer. When he was about to leave something caught his attention. It was a very small pingent, totally out of the place, placed  next to the sunglasses shelf.

“Hm, excuse me?” he said to a store employee. “How much is this necklace?”

“Necklace, we don’t… aaah, this one? Someone forgot it here some months ago, people usually put this necklace on the same spot as a joke.” The employee said shaking his head “Since nobody came to pick it up, the staff says it belonged to a ghost. But it’s just a joke, you can keep it if you want! Merry Christmas, sir!”

A ghost? Donghae laughed, people believe anything this days. He walked out of the store, holding the necklace between his hands. He didn’t know who was the previous owner of that pingent, but the person he wanted to give it was almost a ghost to him now. A spirit that lived inside his heart and warmed his body on the camp’s cold nights. They’re distant now, far apart, but love cannot be denied. Even if they’re far apart, their hearts will always be together, Donghae thought while he walked home holding that little moon pingent under the gracious moonlight.

Merry Christmas, Charlomarshmellow!!

I hope you enjoy this little story,

I wrote it with all my heart… and holiday fever!