Title: Body, Mind & Soul

Author/Artist: [redacted]

Your Giftee: Rea/Ailurish

Rating: pg to m

Wordcounts: …….32806

Warnings: mentions of acephobia (for plot purposes). Please take care if that triggers you <333

Author/Artist’s note: so this is…. horribly long and i’m so sorry about that, omg! This story was supposed to be much much much much shorter, believe or not, HAHAHAHA! It’s also quite lame and boring lmao, which is clearly not the best way to promote my own story, but anyway. I still hope very hard that my giftee will enjoy this!!  Have a wonderful holiday and merry Christmas!

Also, since this is my first time writing this kind of plot, I might have written a few things that could come off as offensive. I am very sorry if that’s the case. Please don’t hesitate to point it out to me! Once again, I’m very, very sorry. (Also sorry about eventual typos hehehehe)

 

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– Body, Mind & Soul –

One-shot

Storyline by [redacted]

 

 

 

Prologue

 

 

 

A simple black ring lays at the center of the rosewood table. Only the soft light of a desk lamp illuminates the empty area around it, like a spontaneous crown of light. Several fountain pens, a few heavy folders, some scattered documents and a quiet smartphone surround the place that has been cleared for the dark piece of jewelry. It appears a little out of place on the reddish, black-streaked surface of the polished wood, as if it has been put there to attract the eye purposefully. Or maybe as a reminder.

The harmony of the room seems a little broken by its presence at first, until a lean figure walks over and picks it up. Their moves are gentle and full of an ease that hints at years of experience; of habit and of care. When they slide it up their middle finger a second later, after making sure it has not been spoiled throughout the night, it finally looks like it’s where it really belongs.

Next to a large window, the television is and murmurs the morning news into the quiet drawing-room. The dim light of the expensive device is drowned by the bright sunshine that flows in through the open curtains, and it only manages to steal attention when a flash of bright colors appears on the screen unexpectedly. A string of clever, complex words streams out of the speakers and fills the silence, volume put low but loud enough so it can be heard.

“In a world where soulmates and matches are now a conviction and a truth,” the monotonous voice of a documentary narrator rambles on through the television.

An image of a bustling crowd shows up briefly—it could be Seoul, or maybe New York or Paris—before it’s quickly followed by another one of an unknown couple. Loving smiles plastered on their faces, the two of them are holding hands and looking at each other. The pace of the show seems to slow down and color tones turn warmer, less neutral and indifferent.

“The creation of such a rare connection,” the reporter continues, “and, most importantly, the act of Bonding and of Sharing thoughts with their significant other are one of the most sought experiences by people nowadays. Some of them are even ready to give up on their families, on their jobs and on their dreams—on their lives, only to try and find their soulmate, or at least a match. Sometimes, for naught.”

A dramatic background music, and then a close-up on a test-tube that contains thick red blood. “Science still has yet to explain the origins of this incredible phenomenon, which seems to be granted to most people. It is still unclear whether there is a common denominator amongst those who have not been able to find their soulmates and matches, or if it is simple bad luck. However, a lot of scientists in the world are optimistic that they are close to find an answer—finally. Doctor S—”

 

As he puts his vest on, Hyukjae snorts under his breath and turns the television off. Silence drops promptly into his flat. A quick glance at his watch tells him that it’s yet to be half past eight and that he’s just on time to be heading out. His phone vibrates loudly on the wooden table then and he peers at it, unsurprised when it’s a text message that reminds him of his morning appointments.

Hyukjae doesn’t have either the time or the patience to listen more about this so-called soul-bonding. The flurry of excitement that has built up after its discovery has been piling up for almost a decade already and he’s had enough of it. It’s noisy, it’s everywhere on the news, and it gives him headaches.

Plus, his shift at the hospital starts in less than an hour, and there is no way he’s going to be late for it.

 

 

 

Chapter One

 

 

 

“This is so romantic,” Donghae sighs dreamily at the television, his chin propped up on his two open palms. An envious pout tugs at the corners of his mouth when the interview shifts from the scientist to a newly-bonded couple, who apparently met a few years back on a lucky encounter in South America. The two of them are soulmates, and not only matches, which makes their story seem even more perfect. “I hope I’ll get bonded with someone soon too.”

Next to him, Ryeowook laughs a little and lowers the volume of the on-going documentary. “You’d be lucky if you made any connection at all, hyung,” he says distractedly. “It’s hard enough for two matches to meet up; bonding with a soulmate takes even more time.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” the other exclaims with a half-whine, half-huff. He straightens up slightly and grabs a dust-cloth, then goes to wipe a few tables of the coffee shop clean. “You met Yesung-hyung two years ago.”

Donghae believes he isn’t being too bitter about it; not really. He knows, he really does, that stumbling upon a match isn’t an episode that would happen every few days, let alone getting into an actual relationship with them—or even Bonding with one’s soulmate.

Not having experienced at least a Sharing of thoughts isn’t too uncommon, especially at his age. In fact, Ryeowook is only one of those rare, lucky persons who get to meet one of their matches early on in their life, instead of in their early thirties like most other people. Donghae, on the other hand—barely thirty years old and still painfully single—, has yet to feel any connection at all, whether it be with a match or his soulmate. He still doesn’t know what it feels like to hear the thoughts of someone else; to be as close to another human-being as realistically possible and share a bit of himself with them.

Or, at least, that’s what he thinks it would be like.

Donghae knows—he swears he does!—that there’s nothing to be truly worried about. Yet, he can’t help but be immensely impatient about it. He supposes that his strong liking for romance has something big to do with that. Truthfully, between his soulmate or just matches, he would be happy to come across any of them.

“It’s a good thing you’re still realistic and not too naïve about it,” his mother would laugh sometimes. “I’d be worried about you otherwise.”

Sharing thoughts, much as what it implies—originality isn’t the best trait of scientists, obviously—, is the act of hearing and being able to answer thoughts of another person. It first happens when someone gets in their matches’ or soulmate’s close proximity; they would know then that they’ve made a connection.

The thoughts are usually weak and a little incoherent, scattered at first, which is truer with matches than with soulmates. It’s because the connection between them isn’t too strong yet, Ryeowook once explained to him, it takes time. Only small bits of what sounds like a random rambling would seem to be mumbled in their minds, such as a broken radio that can’t be turned off, unless they would distance themselves physically.

From what Donghae’s heard, upon making a connection, those two persons need to be as close to each other as possible—mostly on a physical and then on an emotional level—to hear clear, coherent thoughts. The stronger it becomes, the farther away from each other they will be able to hear them.

Except that with the ridiculous number of people who live on earth nowadays, it’s quite difficult to find and make a connection so easily.

However, as luck would have it, more than only one sort of connection exists. In fact, there’s the Matching, and then there’s also the Bonding. The first is made with matches—people Donghae would be more compatible with than others—, while the latter is built with a soulmate, whom is the person he’s the most compatible with. They’re someone who has been made to fit with him perfectly, and he with them.

This is so romantic, Donghae thinks yet once again. He pouts a little at the shiny surface of the table he has been wiping for at least ten minutes already.

Just as his younger friend turns to him and is about to speak up, the door of the coffee shop opens and a few customers come in. It’s yet to be nine o’clock in the morning, but Donghae knows that the staff crew that works in the hospital nearby begins their shifts much earlier than that. As expected, he sees a couple of weary faces and white blouses among other cheerful ones—more or less—, ready to grab their first cups of coffee before going on with the day. It prompts him to hurry back behind the counter so he can help prepare their orders, along with Ryeowook who’s already greeting the firsts in line.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Hyukjae makes a face and rolls his eyes at his two best friends, the tip of his pen tapping rhythmically against the reception counter. Behind it, the secretary sends him a sharp look that makes him stop immediately. He grimaces slightly and mumbles an apology, then brings it to his mouth instead, nibbling on the blue cap.

It’s still quite early in the Seoul National University Hospital. Even in spite of it, a flurry of activity has already started to build up in the hallways of the maternity ward. Nurses and midwives are running around, looking more stressed out than it’s probably advised, while a few doctors try to take care of the long line of patients as efficiently and carefully as they can.

Hyukjae would be, too, if it wasn’t for his colleagues’ apparent reluctance to answer his questions.

“Guys,” he sighs exasperatedly after a while.

Siwon and Sooyoung don’t seem to hear him at first. They continue to stare at each other lovingly instead, as though they can communicate only with the sole power of their eyes. And, technically, that’s exactly what they are doing, he thinks with a sarcastic scoff.

The secretary gives him another look, though it looks rather amused this time. He’s not sure if he’s supposed to feel offended.

“Guys,” Hyukjae insists finally. “As much as I understand that it’s easier to just think and not talk at all, I’m actually here, you know?” Then, jerking his chin in direction of the heavy file he put on the counter, adds, “And waiting to be included in that little debate, too. Tell me straight away if I need to get an invitation first.”

Blinking, Siwon turns around and gives him a sheepish grin. “Oh, sorry, Hyukjae,” he laughs and shares a sweet glance with his soulmate. “Sooyoung and I were just—…”

He pauses and she smiles at him, which prompts him to smile back.

And Hyukjae feels like cuffing the both of them around the head.

Rolling his eyes once again instead, he grumbles, “Look, I don’t have all the time in the world either. I’ll go first, and when you two will be done acting cozy and sickeningly in love, maybe we’ll manage to get some work done.”

With a last petulant huff, he walks off to the opposite direction. Sooyoung tries to stop him but she halts and turns toward Siwon, then bursts into pretty giggles for seemingly no reason.

“Oh, great God,” Hyukjae sighs yet once again—but an amused, reluctant little grin still tugs at the corners of his mouth.

As much as he doesn’t want to admit, they’re kind of cute, really.

 

 

 

As a rather scientific man—his medicine studies have helped a lot—, Hyukjae sees things differently than most people who aren’t. Although they tend to ignore or be unaware of it, he knows that making a connection with someone else isn’t all rainbows and unicorns.

There’s at least one thing everyone has accepted subconsciously to be an undeniable truth. On a basic level, the one fundamental rule which has been agreed generally upon in regards to Matching and Bonding is that there are two distinct types of people one can make a connection with. The first are the matches, whom are subtly easier to find since there are more than just one for each individual, while the second are soulmates.

If Hyukjae had to roughly define human nature, it would be divided in a few categories, such as love, , friendliness, and variations of those. Each of them would rank people from the less compatible to the most compatible amongst the seven billions of people who live on earth; the highest-ranked of that exponential curve is called the match.

Soulmates, on the other hand, are the best average possible of all sub-groups that make his basic description of human nature. They’re unique, and somehow made to fit them perfectly; to complete the people they are meant to bond with. And they can feel it immediately; they can feel how different they are from matches.

Matches might be best in one particular category, but it doesn’t necessarily imply that they would suit well in the other aspects too. In fact, the averages of those matches in all sub-groups are always lower than the one of a soulmate.

The best example Hyukjae knows of is Siwon with Sooyoung and Kyuhyun.

From what they explained to him, he knows that Kyuhyun is Siwon’s match in . However, they soon found out after meeting up that they weren’t compatible in love, since the latter is pretty much heteroromantic. Sooyoung, on the other hand, although a little less than totally compatible with Siwon in all the categories that define him, fits with him the most because she’s the best average he could hope for; she’s the perfect balance of every aspect that he needs.

Except that matches are quite difficult to find, and soulmates even more so. It’s mostly the reason why people tend to throw themselves into hasty relationships as soon as they match with someone, rather than making sure they will get along well first. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t at all. As a doctor, Hyukjae has seen too many cases of abuse and of unhealthy relationships between people who made connections but didn’t try to look beyond just that.

However, matches can be the alternative to people who are, for example, aromantic or aual or any variations of those. If they’re not interested in either love or , or maybe something else, even though they have a soulmate somewhere that would fit them perfectly, they can choose to stay with a match who wouldn’t expect them to feel romantic or ual attraction. Matches can then be the persons they deem the most perfect to fit them, even when the existence of their soulmates might state the contrary.

Hyukjae supposes it’s a way through which fate tries to make up for nature’s flaws; they can’t always find their soulmates, and their soulmates might not always be the one they’re looking for, but at least they have a choice.

Oh, well, he thinks as he glances at the file in his hands and heads to his office.

Even though he does wish to be bonded someday, he’s not too impatient about it anyway. His first connection with a match hadn’t been so successful, after all.

 

 

 

Chapter Two

 

 

 

Follow the baby blue line, they said. It can’t be missed, they said.

Either they all lied to him or Donghae has a horrible sense of direction. Or maybe it’s a bit of both; he’s not entirely sure. To be completely honest, he doesn’t even know what ‘baby blue’ looks like.

It’s on a gloomy Thursday afternoon that Donghae finds himself wandering around the buildings of the Seoul National University Hospital. He’s trying actively to find the maternity ward, where his sister-in-law has been admitted the day before, until she gives birth to his niece. Which might possibly be tonight—or even in a few hours. He hopes to see her and his older brother before that happens.

It doesn’t appear very likely anymore though.

As he contemplates whether the line he’s staring at is ‘baby blue’ or ‘navy blue’—not that he really understands the difference—Donghae lets out a frustrated sigh and glances at the time on his phone. It’s almost four o’clock, which means that he’s been in there for nearly half an hour already. This is probably the moment upon which he should admit to himself that he’s lost, he thinks mournfully. The mere confession is painful to make. For God’s sake, he huffs and throws a petulant look around the hospital’s white hallways.

“Where the hell is the maternity ward?!” Donghae finally demands aloud.

No-one seems to hear him.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Today, much like any other, is a busy day at the hospital. Hyukjae has to stifle a small yawn as he walks over to the reception of the maternity ward, ready to meet another patient. A rather impressive number of them are sitting in the waiting area, some nervous and some excited, which prompts him to try and be more alert. Babies, he tells himself with an enthusiastic grin. Come on, Hyukjae—for the babies.

“Hello, Hyorin-ssi,” he greets the secretary at the counter and smiles slightly when she only gives him a curt nod, focused on her own task. He glances behind him, sees a pregnant woman struggling to reach for a magazine over her swollen belly and chuckles softly at the adorable sight. “Who’s next in line, then?”

The younger woman grabs a green paper that has been put on top of a high pile of other similar documents, and then hands it to him. It reads Mrs. Han; 27 years old, third week of pregnancy, among a few other details that are either not as important or more technical. He’s looking over her vague medical history and is busy listing the questions he’ll have to ask her, when he hears it for the first time.

Where the hell is the maternity ward?!

Hyukjae startles and stops, confused. Mrs. Han forgotten for a moment, he frowns and looks around the entrance of the ward. Hyorin glances up at him, an eyebrow raised questioningly while he stays in place for apparently no good reason.

It’s… right here? he finds himself answering in response to the strange thought. I’m… right in it? I’ve been here since seven o’clock this morning.

An odd sensation of déjà-vu nags at the back of his mind, but he’s too bemused and alarmed to recognize it for what it is right away. He blinks instead, now only hearing silence, or something that sounds close to it anyway. Then, as he thinks it’s over, his brain seems to speak up over the rest of his busy inner ramblings once again.

Oh, bro, nice! It’s right here! it exclaims cheerfully.

This time, Hyukjae nearly yelps in shock.

“Of course it’s here!” he exclaims out loud, and the secretary makes such a face at him that he’s pretty sure she thinks he’s gone crazy. Something tells him he knows what is happening, he does, but he still finds himself denying it against all rationality. “I literally just told you that!”

“Sir,” Hyorin says flatly after a while. “I believe you should ask for a day off.”

He ignores her and turns around when his stomach seems to be pulling him in this direction. A gasp escapes his mouth. Oh, my ing God, he panics as the doors of the ward open. A fraction of second goes by, before he tenses all over suddenly.

A man he doesn’t know walks inside, looking unsure—and then looks up with a shocked expression that probably reflects his own. Hyukjae knows—he knows he can feel it, too. His sharp eyes then meet chocolate-brown eyes; something drops abruptly from his chest at the sight, and suddenly—

Suddenly, Hyukjae can’t breathe anymore. He knows it’s theoretically impossible, but for a short second, he believes the whole world has stopped.

 

 

 

*

 

 

The world has stopped. Donghae is certain of it. There’s no way it hasn’t.

Time pauses around him—around them—as his body jolts again, electrified. It’s as though it knows something his mind still doesn’t, deep inside, and is trying its hardest to make his brain aware as well. Everything that is running through him, that used to be his, seems to be tied—to be bonded to this stranger dressed in a white coat standing right in front of him. He can feel his center of gravity shifting around and settling heavily on him, on this man he knows absolutely nothing of. But even though he just met him one second ago—even though he doesn’t know his name, or his favorite color, or the date of his birthday—, it feels like he’s already spent a lifetime with him.

A small, brilliant smile starts to spread uncontrollably upon his thin lips. His heartbeat speeding up in his chest, he stares at the man he’s just made a—a connection with. And this man—this man, he’s—

He’s his soulmate. Donghae knows it. That prickly, delicious sensation that still makes his stomach curl and twist and pull forward, and the stream of broken thoughts that is ushered in his mind—they’re enough of a proof.

Bond! he hears it in his head. —feels so… —odd, nice—warm—and—… what’s his name? Who is he—I want to know his—… soulmate! Soulmate, soulmate, soulmate—soulmate! Thoughts—my thoughts are—all over the—…

Donghae can feel the way they’re Bonding together all the way to his bones. It’s weak, but it’s there. Their hearts are becoming one with the sole power of their eyes staring at each other, and this man—this incredibly handsome man is the only one he can see, and—

“Doctor Lee?” someone breaks both their trains of thoughts.

It’s almost too easy to see, to feel how his soulmate—soulmate!—nearly jumps out of his skin in front of him, just from the way his mental daze snaps loudly into pieces. Drinking in the sight of him, Donghae doesn’t even bother to check who it is and keeps his eyes on the new core of his life instead—only him.

The first thing Donghae sees of him, of the one made to complete him in all the best ways possible, are his single-lidded eyes. Colored with a beautiful hazel hue, he guesses easily that cute little wrinkles would appear at their corners, should he manage to make him laugh. The prospect of such happy moments is nothing if thrilling to him. His nose stands straight in the middle of his face and seems too big for it, but still fits perfectly somehow; its tip is round and looks absolutely adorable, and Donghae nearly coos at the sight. The rest of his features are sharp—like his lovely jawline—and covered with a flawless expanse of smooth, milky-white skin, which he finds himself wanting to touch badly. There’s a pretty mole on his left cheekbone right under his eye, he notices a little avidly, and also another one in the crook of his neck if he looks closely enough. His black hair falls charmingly across his forehead and hovers just above his eyelashes, prompting him to wish he could brush them off to the side.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” the same person calls his soulmate again—Donghae finally realizes that it’s the secretary, and not just some idiot who is trying to annoy them. “But Mrs. Han is still waiting for you and you’ve been staring at this man for the past fifteen minutes already.”

Fifteen minutes can’t have gone by so quickly, he thinks. They cannot.

“Oh,” Doctor Lee clears his voice.

Donghae jolts at the sweet sound of it; it’s exactly the same as the one he hears in his mind and that’s absolutely exhilarating.

“Uh, yes, I—… I mean, I—”

But, soulmate! My—soulmate! Donghae hears him mumble in an almost-whine. I should really take care of—Mrs. Han—… he seems nice, I want to know what his—… third week of—… Babies, but—I want! Soulmate! Soulmate, bond!

And then, with a flat thought that makes him chuckle breathily, he grumbles, Where the hell is Siwon when you need him?

“Yes, of course,” the dark-haired man repeats, fiddling with the greenish paper he’s been holding between his thin fingers. “I have to—have to, and—…” He glances up, sends him a torn look and then stumbles backwards until his back hits the edge of the reception counter. “I need to—to—…”

“I—It’s okay,” Donghae finally finds it in himself to speak up. He gulps, hoping he sounds somewhat decent but has the distinct feeling that he’s failing miserably. His own hands wrenched together in nervousness, he stumbles slightly and nibbles onto his lower lip. “I can just—I’ll just, you know, wait, if that’s okay with you, and—…”

His soulmate nods hastily—eagerly. His hazel eyes try to avoid his own, darting around the entrance as if wanting to find something to focus on, all a the same time that they keep stealing glances at him. “I really need to go,” he says apologetically. “I’ll… talk to you later.”

“Okay, I—…” Before he can turn around and head towards the waiting area, Donghae calls him again a bit too loudly for his liking. “Wait! Can I have—… What’s your name? I—I’m Donghae! Lee Donghae!”

Lee Donghae, he hears a flurry of thoughts that isn’t his own rise in his mind almost immediately. He said—Lee Donghae! Donghae! Soulmate is—Donghae! I should—… Mrs. Han, I’m late, and—… Hyorin is going to throw a fit again if—… he said Donghae!

Turning towards him, the dark-haired man blushes slightly and glances around him. It’s as if he just remembered they weren’t alone. Soon enough, one word resonates in Donghae’s mind.

Hyukjae.

 

 

Chapter Three

 

 

 

Hours might be going by, but Donghae doesn’t feel them. Time is a notion he has forgotten. Somewhere above the reception counter, he can see the hands of a clock moving and yet doesn’t understand what it means.

All he knows—all he’s certain of—is that sometimes, Hyukjae comes out of his office in passing, most probably to take another patient in. Those brief seconds of seeing him are some of the best of his life. It’s like his world have been covered in sad greys which then fade into bright, warm colors whenever he’s near, prompting him to gasp mutely under his breath. Seated in one of the waiting area’s chairs, Donghae finds himself tensing and sliding to its very edge each time his soulmate comes near him.

In-between greeting his new patient and inviting them to head to his office, Hyukjae would send him a quick, nervous glance. It would then always be followed by a hesitant little grin—a sight that never fails to make his heartbeat speed up delightedly.

Soulmate! Hyukjae would murmur excitedly into his mind, and Donghae’s chest would clench happily in response. Sorry—soon, I—… Soulmate! Soulmate, soulmate—is Donghae! Mine! Oh, wait, is this—Mrs. Joon should—… her second child, and— …Soulmate!

It’s okay! Donghae would think back really hard. I don’t mind! I’ll be waiting for you.

Donghae doesn’t even remember why he came here in the first place. He doesn’t even know where he is. But, honestly, he’s just glad he decided to come at all.

If his phone keeps buzzing in the pocket of his coat, he doesn’t notice it.

 

 

 

“Hello!” Hyukjae nearly runs to him about three or four hours after he first stepped in the ward. He looks a little breathless, as if he rushed out of his office to come and see him. “There were a lot of patients today, and I—… I mean, it is my job, so—…”

“I—It’s okay!” Donghae hurries to reassure him as he jumps on his feet. He almost reaches a hand out to touch him, to do something, but drops it quickly when he realizes he would seem too hasty. “Are you—I mean, am I—… you know, bothering you?” 

His soulmate shakes his head no almost immediately, dark strands of hair flying wildly around his face, and Donghae can’t help but find him adorable. The sight prompts him to grin softly, momentarily distracted. It’s only when Hyukjae falters and starts blushing furiously that he remembers they can hear some of each other’s thoughts.

“Oh, uh… I mean,” Donghae grins a little sheepishly. “You really are, you know? Adorable.”

He’s not sure it’s the best way to break the ice and get to know someone, but his dark blush intensifies even more, and somehow, he doesn’t feel too guilty about it.

Obviously embarrassed, Hyukjae adverts his eyes away and clears his throat. Thank you, he mumbles, and Donghae feels oddly satisfied with himself.  

Gathering his courage, he’s about to say something else, maybe propose him to go and grab a cup of coffee—it’s something he’s rather good at, after all—, when a familiar voice calls him from the other end of a nearby corridor. From the corner of the eyes, he sees the secretary and a nurse at the reception huff at the unnecessary noise, and he’s almost tempted to agree with them. Not only is it bothering the patients, but he’s also a bit busy at the moment.

“Donghae? Donghae!” it says. “I’ve been trying to call you for hours!”

When Donghae finally turns around, confused and a little annoyed at the interruption, he gasps in horror upon seeing his older brother run towards him.

“Where the hell were you?” the latter insists frantically. “I was worried for you! With Yoojung about to give birth, that’s really more stress I don’t need!”

“Donghwa-hyung!” he exclaims with a high-pitched voice. So that was the reason why he came here in the first place. “Oh, my God, I completely—… I met Hyukjae, and I just—… What about—what about Yoojung-noona? Is she okay? Has she given birth yet?!”

Next to him, hands put away in the pockets of his white coat, Hyukjae blinks in confusion under the assault of his messy thoughts. Yoojung? he wonders. Donghwa? Who? And then a small, cute, Soulmate.

“She’s my sister-in-law,” Donghae explains to him excitedly. “She’s pregnant! With my baby niece! And she’s… due today, actually.”

He pauses, frowns, and then starts worrying again. “Oh, my God! Where’s she? Where’s my niece?! Hyung!”           

As he continues to panic along with his older brother—she started having contractions, she did!—, Donghae thinks he hears Hyukjae whisper something in his mind.

You, too—cute.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

The room Lee Yoojung has been admitted in is a little further inside the maternity ward. When Hyukjae walks in it, closely followed by Donghae and his older brother, Siwon is already there and seems busy reassuring the few pregnant women present. His smile dulled slightly because of Sooyoung’s absence by his side, the other doctor tilts his head around and raises a hand briefly to greet him.

On one of the white beds, Yoojung shifts uncomfortably upon feeling what must be the first contractions of her pre-labor. Eyebrows tightly furrowed together, she looks like she’s holding herself back from hissing in pain. She still keeps a hand on top of her swollen tummy though, as if to try and comfort her baby inside.

Hyukjae gives her an encouraging smile and in that instant, while he listens distractedly to Donghae’s excited yet worried thoughts, he wishes he could steal her away from his colleague. There’s not much more he could do, but he’d gladly do it if it would soothe his soulmate’s concerns. However, he easily guesses that Siwon would most probably not be very pleased about it—the selfish bastard, he almost laughs.

“Hyukjae,” his best friend grins at him. “What are you doing here? I thought you finished your shift for today?”

Hyukjae shrugs and then glances at his soulmate, who smiles back brightly. Soulmate! he hears as their eyes meet for a short moment. Yoojung-noona is—… Hyukjae, soulmate! Soulmate! So handsome. So romantic. Cute, adorable—bonding! Bonded! But—… baby?

“Mrs. Lee’s husband and brother-in-law were looking for her,” he replies a little awkwardly while rubbing the back of his nape, hiding a small blush. “I showed them the way to her room; Hyorin looked too reluctant to do it herself and I don’t have anything else urgent to do.”

Checking his patient’s information one last time, Siwon snorts a little, though not unkindly. “Oh, yeah. She seemed pretty busy earlier too. I guess she didn’t really appreciate me teasing her at lunchtime,” he muses amusedly, before Yoojung tenses and yelps in pain once again. He turns back to her and makes sure everything is fine, then continues more seriously, “Contractions started. Everything’s normal so far. We’ll need to wait a while longer until the cervix is wide enough for delivery.”

“Nulliparous?” Hyukjae asks and then nods when he’s answered with an affirmative hum. First births are always the toughest. “Need any help?”

“Do you?” the other retorts, an eyebrow raised, before laughing when Hyukjae grimaces reluctantly. “No, it’s okay. There’s nothing to worry about.”  

As Donghwa steps forward with a small thanks and goes back to his wife’s side, smiling while her hair carefully, Hyukjae turns around to peer at his soulmate. Donghae looks up and meets his gaze with a smile, an excitement that isn’t exactly his own thrumming about in his own mind. Exhaling a little breathily, he allows himself to share the sentiment and decides that that’s just enough to quell his lingering hesitation.

“Donghae?” he calls. “It might take a few hours before Mrs. Lee goes into active labor. Do you—…” He pauses awkwardly, looks around, and then glares at Siwon when he sends him a curious look. “Do you want to… you know, have a drink or something? I finished my shift for the day.”

“Yes!” Donghae exclaims instantly, the word resonating just as loud in Hyukjae’s head as it does in the room, which successfully earns them the attention of all the other people present. “I mean… y—yeah, of course. Why not?” Yes—yes—yes—yes! Soulmate, yes!

Silence falls onto the hospital room before quiet giggles erupt from here and there. Hyukjae feels yet another blush creep across his face as he stares hard at the tiled floor, unwilling to meet his best friend’s amused eyes. Yet when he feels Donghae’s thoughts hum happily in his head, warm and excited and full of his name, he can’t help but think that it’s a good idea after all.

 

 

 

The coffee shop Donghae proposes to bring them to is the one Hyukjae walks by sometimes, when he decides not to drive his car to the hospital in the morning. Which is quite a rare occurrence, he muses distractedly—a shame. It looks a bit small at the first glance but is actually very cozy inside, and Hyukjae finds himself looking around curiously while he follows his soulmate beyond the doors. He shivers a little when pleasant warmth wraps itself around him, making winter coldness fade away from his cool skin, and smiles when he sees colorful tinsel fabrics hung around on almost every wall. Somehow, from the way he tells him excitedly about the Christmas tree they’re going to bring in and decorate in a few days, Hyukjae gets the feeling that it’s all Donghae’s work. Never mind the fact that it’s still early November.

“Get settled wherever you want, Hyukjae!” Donghae tells him after the doors close behind them. Soulmate! he then adds mutely. Must be comfortable, my soulmate—… Hyukjae! “I’ll say hello to Ryeowook—you know, my coworker—and bring the menus, okay?”

Nodding, Hyukjae watches him walk away with a small grin and glances around the coffee shop another time, before he sees the bright fairy lights that have been hung up along the walls of a corner. Distracted by their prettiness, he makes his way over and sits down at the secluded table that has been fitted there, then takes his coat off. The shop is rather empty, he notices, but as he glances at the time on his watch, he’s not too surprised about it.

Soon enough, as he gets lost in his thoughts, which are still buzzing with an excitement that isn’t entirely his own, Donghae comes back and carefully takes the chair in front of him.

“Hi,” he says simply, handing him one of the menus, but both their hearts seem to make a jump in their chest when they smile at each other. “You can choose anything you want; it’s on the house.”

“Thanks,” Hyukjae replies. “But you don’t have to, really.”

But I want to, his soulmate says with a firmness that is conveyed by the clearness of his thought. Please?

Then, after ducking his head down for a second and nibbling nervously onto his lower lip, Donghae looks up and smiles tentatively at him. “Now that we can talk comfortably, I—… I mean, maybe we could—”

Out of instinct, Hyukjae tenses almost instantly. Those words are the beginning of sentences he already heard once before, and he still wishes fiercely that it had been the last. Date? he bets bitterly. Move in together? Marry? He doesn’t want to go through that sort of pressure again, like it’s an evidence—doesn’t want to realize that Donghae is already assuming that they’re together, that they’re lovers and maybe more, even though he knows close to nothing about him.

In front of him, Donghae gives him a questioning glance at the incoherent rush of reluctant thoughts that his mind must be taking in.

“—we could try and get to know each other?” Donghae finishes with a hint of uncertainty. Then, holding a hand out, he gives him a bright, hopeful smile, “My name is Donghae. It’s nice to meet you!”

Hyukjae feels his breath hitch in his throat. He knows, he really does, that he’s staring, but right now, as his chest clenches thrillingly and his heart gives an embarrassing flutter, there’s really nothing much he can do about it. Hesitantly, carefully, he reaches out and takes Donghae’s hand into his.

It’s warm, fits perfectly along the curves of his palm, and Hyukjae exhales shakily.

Soulmate, Donghae murmurs in excitement.

“I’m Hyukjae,” he says finally. Soulmate, he answers just as happily. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

They can make this work.

 

 

 

Chapter Four

 

 

 

Donghae learns that Hyukjae turned thirty years old last April, which makes him about seven months older than him. He also learns that his parents live in a quiet neighborhood in the center of Seoul, in an apartment he bought them himself—the proud glint he sees in his eyes almost made him coo out loud—, while his older sister moved to the United States two years ago for a job opportunity. She usually comes back home for holidays, like Christmas or the Korean Thanksgiving Day, but he still wishes he could see her more often than just that. Hyukjae has a dog whose name is Choco; she lives with his parents and, according to him, isn’t even the slightest photogenic. He’s allergic to seafood, but doesn’t like it anyway. He always wears a thin black ring on the middle finger of his left hand, which he says to be very important to him—although he doesn’t tell him the reason why. He’s been an obstetrician not for very long, but started medicine quite early. Hyukjae also tends to see the world through a rather scientific mindset, which Donghae thinks is a little funny, because he doesn’t understand half of the words he says—he probably wouldn’t even be able to repeat them. Though that’s perfectly okay, he thinks every time, because the excited, precious gleam that never fails to brighten up his whole face is entirely worth his confusion. But then, Hyukjae would always smile at him and explain it again with simpler words, and Donghae would think, great God, he’s so sweet, I’m so lucky.

And then, Hyukjae would look up and blink, blush, startled, and mumble, “You know I can actually hear you, right?”

“Isn’t it awesome, though?” Donghae says a while later, a good hour after the coffee shop closed for the night and Ryeowook left. Grinning, he watches his soulmate eat happily the piece of cake he’d be eyeing ever since they walked in and drinks a bit of his own hot tea. When Hyukjae looks at him with curious eyes, he elaborates, “You know, that we actually got to meet each other? I mean, there’re over seven billion people on earth but we still did.”

In front of him, with the bright fairy lights flickering in the background, Hyukjae grimaces a little and puts his fork down. “Well, actually,” he starts slowly. “It’s—…” Pausing, he gives him a careful look.

When Donghae smiles at him encouragingly, he continues, “Actually, it’s not really as ‘awesome’ as it really seems. I mean, it is, but on a different level than you probably envision it. There are a lot of theories and studies which prove that Matching and Bonding are not only based on compatibility rates between two persons, but also on geographic data and on likelihood of encounter.”

Donghae frowns, opens his mouth, and then closes it again. “I—… what?” he mumbles, confused. “I’m sorry, I’m not sure I completely understand what you were saying.”

Chuckling under his breath, but not out of mockery, Hyukjae straightens up and thinks for a moment.

“Basically,” he starts speaking again, and Donghae gets momentarily distracted by the way his pretty hands move around to illustrate his explanation. “If you were to pretend that each person on earth had a score based on how compatible they are with you, the highest one is your match, while the best average of all your matches is your soulmate. But like I said, this score isn’t only based on compatibility.

“See that woman outside? The one who’s trying to open her umbrella?” Hyukjae asks as he points to a lady outside who looks like she’s in her late forties already. “On a strictly compatibility level, since she’s probably fifteen years older than I am, she’s way lower in my score ranking than your coworker surely is. But she’s still higher-ranked than, like, Daniel Craig or something; that’s because we live in the same geographic zone and that we have higher chances of meeting up. On the other hand, I’ve never been to the United Kingdom, don’t really plan to, and I’m ready to bet you everything that I’m more likely to meet Jang Donggeun than Daniel ing Craig.”

Laughing, Donghae leans back into his chair and contemplates what his soulmate just said. Oh, God—… he hears then, which prompts him to look up in surprise. I hope I didn’t—… Please, don’t be mad at me, I—soulmate. Donghae.

“I’m not mad,” he reassures him without thinking. Cringing at how it must sound without context, he adds, “I mean… why would I be?”

Hyukjae fidgets a little on his chair and stares hard at his nearly empty plate. “Well, you… look like you’re really into, you know, romance and stuff. I don’t want to be the person who tells you Santa Claus doesn’t exist.”

“Well, first of all,” Donghae rolls his eyes at him, though not unkindly. “If it’s the truth, there’s no reason for me to be upset, and especially at you, right? I’m just surprised, that’s all. No-one told me about this.” It’s okay, he repeats firmly. I’m not mad, Hyukjae. There’s no reason for me to be.

And then, with a fake seriousness, he states, “And secondly, Santa Claus does exist, okay.”

Significantly less tense, Hyukjae laughs and finishes the last crumbles of his cake. Cake, he murmurs happily. No cake—anymore… it was yummy though. “You’ll have to explain to me why I’ve had to buy my own presents for so many years, then.”

He some sweet frosting off his fingers and shrugs dismissively, “I don’t really blame you for it. Not a lot of people are aware of it. That, or they don’t really understand what it actually means, I suppose.”

A brief yet comfortable silence then settles between them, broken and uneven thoughts shared back and forth. They stare at the rain that has started to fall outside, small droplets of wet coldness hammering against the windows of the coffee shop. It’s probably around ten o’clock in the evening already, but it doesn’t seem like neither of them is willing to go back home just yet.

“You still have to admit it’d be really cool to make a connection with Daniel Craig,” Donghae muses a while afterwards, intent in ignoring the randomness of this conversation. “He looks so good.”

“Yeah, he really does,” Hyukjae agrees, laughing, before he tilts his head to the side and sighs a little. “I mean, have you seen his shoulders? They’re so broad. I bet he gives the nicest hugs.”

Donghae chuckles at the excited expression his soulmate is suddenly wearing on his face and, before he can stop himself, thinks too loudly, hey, I have very broad shoulders too, don’t I?

In front of him, Hyukjae sends him an amused look and lets his eyes linger around his upper arms, but doesn’t say anything. Oddly enough, Donghae finds himself ducking his head down and blushing furiously. Yeah, he hears then. Quite broad indeed.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

 

I hope—Yoojung-noona is—… okay, Donghae frets as he stares out the window in direction of the hospital. I hope my baby niece is—okay.

As he plays with a bit of tinsel that fell on the ground—much to Donghae’s dismay—, Hyukjae looks up from the sparkly fabric and gives him a reassuring grin. He glances outside as well, instinctively looks for the lit-up windows of the maternity ward, and then tilts his head back around to face him again. She’s going to be fine, he thinks hard in response. “Siwon is a really good doctor,” he continues aloud. “He’d probably be even better than me if I wasn’t, you know, so talented.”

Donghae laughs and leans back into his chair, eyes round and bright and so earnest that he almost looks away. “I’m sure you are,” he says with a playfully patronizing tone. “I’m just—… worried, you know? The good kind of worried, though. Donghwa-hyung and Yoojung-noona went through so much; I want them to be happy. Plus, it’s my baby niece.”

“I promise you that they’ll be both fine,” Hyukjae repeats firmly, an encouraging smile spread on his mouth. “I checked your sister-in-law’s file before we left the hospital, and everything’s normal. Siwon let me take a glance and he wasn’t lying earlier; there’s really nothing to be worried about.”

Then, after a short moment of hesitation, he asks, “Are they… soulmates?”

Donghae looks surprised for a second before beaming at him, a wave of gratitude and fondness building in Hyukjae’s unsuspecting mind. “Thanks,” he says quietly.

“Actually,” he utters next. “No, they’re not; they’re only matched in friendliness. Hyung and noona met very early—in high school, I think—and stayed best friends for years, before they fell in love with each other after they graduated from university. But Yoojung-noona, she—…”

Fiddling with a rumpled napkin that was forgotten on the table, he smiles as if it’s an old tale that happened centuries ago. “She met her soulmate a few years back, and they almost split up because of that. Her soulmate was being very… I mean, it felt like he thought he had all the rights in the world to claim her as his wife or something. Like they just had to bond right away, no questions asked. Donghwa-hyung was—he was… devastated. Everybody was saying that her soulmate was the best choice out of the two of them, and that she should leave hyung for him instead. I mean, anyone else would have done it; why not her, too?

“But then, Yoojung-noona told her soulmate that she didn’t want to be in a relationship with him, that she was only willing to be friends, and the only one she loved was my brother. That she had the right to make her own choice. She was so brave—and still is.” He looks up finally, expression so soft it almost makes Hyukjae ache inside. “They sent wedding invitations less than two months afterwards. You know, I—”

Ducking his head down in embarrassment, Donghae doesn’t finish his sentence. But even in spite of his silence, Hyukjae still hears him as though he spoke out loud. I hope I can love someone like they love each other. The words are quiet in his mind, like a hushed secret, but it’s almost too easy to understand what they imply. Eyes shyly avoiding one another, they blush and share similar feelings that can’t be named. Not yet.

Hyukjae does, too—he really does. Maybe Donghae is the one who will help him make his dreams become reality.

 

 

 

But Hyukjae knows there’s still a long way to go before any of that happens. Right now, all he wishes to do is to go home, take a hot shower and sleep the rest of the night away. It’s been quite an exhausting day, and judging by the way Donghae’s mind has started to slow down a little, he guesses that he’s not the only one who thinks so. Stretching his arms up above his head, he releases a small sigh and then slumps back into his chair.

“It’s getting late; maybe we should go. Do you—… do you want me to drive you home?” he asks Donghae hesitantly. “I have a car and it’s still raining outside.”

Slightly startled, his soulmate smiles and nods eagerly. “Yes!” he exclaims and Hyukjae almost finds himself laughing at his excitement. “I mean, I—… that’d be… very nice of you. I don’t live very close though.”

It’s okay, Hyukjae smiles. I don’t mind. Then, as he grabs his coat and puts it on, adds, “Come on, then; let’s go.”

The drive to Donghae’s place doesn’t take much more than about twenty minutes, which is just enough time for them to chat a while longer.

Hyukjae learns then that his soulmate lives in one of the less expensive districts of Seoul because he wants to stay close to his mother, who still refuses to settle anywhere else. Although he does cherish his privacy—hence his moving out—, Donghae admits easily that he loves it when his mother shows up at his apartment sometimes and checks on him as if he was still an eighteen-year-old kid. She would cook him delicious dishes and fret about him for hours, before leaving again like an unpredictable tornado. It takes him a while to get to his workplace every morning, but he doesn’t mind it so much—the subway really isn’t as bad as everyone seems to be thinking.

There are so much words that can describe Donghae, Hyukjae muses as he listens to him ramble about his passion for baking. Mischievous, playful, a little bratty—and yet cute, adorable and slightly awkward on the edges. Passionate, enthusiastic, happiness that’s condensed in a single but breathtaking smile.

Every time Hyukjae’s mind would drift to such thoughts, Donghae would stall next to him and stop talking, before blushing a furious red.

“I—I—…” he stammers in embarrassment this time around. He said! Soulmate said! Hyukjae—… that I had a breathtaking smile! Hyukjae did! “I—… w—where was I again?”

Feeling just as self-conscious, Hyukjae clears his throat awkwardly and slows the car down to a stop. “W—we’re here,” he mumbles, his own face flushed as well.

“Oh—yeah—right, I should—”

A conflicted mixture of disappointment and reluctance washes over the two silent men, but neither of them can guess who it is from exactly.

There’s a brief pause, before Donghae whips around in his seat and looks up at him with wide but determined eyes. “I’m very, very happy I got to meet you today, Hyukjae!” he splutters almost too quickly, as though he’s scared he might not have enough courage to say it all if he drags it on for too long. “We should… we should definitely—… L—let’s talk again sometime soon, okay? I mean, if you’re okay with that, of course, because I don’t want to seem like I—… Y—you can drop by the shop anytime you want, really, don’t be shy, not that you are, but—and, and, you’re very nice, Hyukjae, and your smile is very pretty too, and I hope we can—…”

Before Hyukjae has the time to react, his soulmate leans over the gear lever and presses a quick kiss on his cheek.

“Oh, my God,” Donghae squeaks right afterwards. Skin so smooth! But—why the hell did I do that?! Oh, my God, I—please don’t hate me! Don’t hate me, soulmate! Hyukjae! I— “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that, I just—… I mean, not that it’s wrong, but I should have asked you first, and—… Look, I’ll just go, okay? I—I—I—… see you later!”

Seconds afterwards, Donghae is nearly running to the entrance of his building, leaving Hyukjae to blush alone in the darkness of his car.

 

 

 

Chapter Five

 

 

 

Releasing a happy sigh, Hyukjae flops down onto his bed and wriggles around until he’s curled up nicely under his blankets. They’re a little cool at first but warm up quickly to his satisfaction, which pulls a contented noise out of him. Being wrapped up in the warmth of his covers in early November winter is probably one of the best feelings he’s known yet. That, and snuggling with an actual human-being. Yawning, he turns the lights of his room off and reaches out for his phone on the bedside table, then closes his eyes as he dials his mother’s number.

It only takes three short ringing tones before she’s finally answering.

“Hello, sweetheart,” she greets him sweetly and Hyukjae has to stop himself from whining for attention in response. According to many, he’s apparently not five years old anymore. “How was your day? It’s been a while since you last called.”

“Good,” he replies. “I was a bit busy at the hospital—sorry about that, mom. And you, how are you? How’s dad? Is he still trying to prove the world he knows how to fix a table by himself?”

His mother laughs while his father curses good-naturedly in the background, prompting Hyukjae to smile.

“We’re both doing good too,” she reassures him a while afterwards, when her husband has stopped sulking. “It’s a bit cold though; you should be careful when going out, sweetheart. Even doctors need to take care of their health.”

“I know, mom. Don’t worry about me,” Hyukjae says. “I’m almost never outside anyway.”

He hesitates slightly, turns around on his other side and nibbles onto his lower lip. “Mom? I—…” A pause. “I made another connection today.”

Silence answers him at first, before he hears an excited gasp. “Oh, my God!” she exclaims. “Did you really? I’m so happy for you, love! Who are they? Are they nice with you? Is it a boy or a girl? Have you talked yet? Is it another match?”

“Soulmate,” he answers her quietly. “He’s—he seems nice. Very nice. His name’s Donghae.”

There’s a rustle at the other end of the line as his mother hums under her breath, pensive. “I’m really glad for you, Hyukjae, sweetheart,” she adds more softly. “I hope he’s as nice as you say, and even more. Be careful, though. I don’t want you to be—hurt again, okay? Like with that other little—” She takes a deep breath as though to calm herself and Hyukjae grins—a little sad because he still remembers, and a lot happy because his parents care for him so much. “Just… take care of yourself, okay? Call us if there’s anything. Promise me.”

Against his will, flashbacks of his past abusive relationship are once more brought up in his weary mind. He winces physically at the memory and feels his heart clench hard in his chest, a rush of anger surging through him. It took him a long time to understand that he deserved to feel like this, and that he wasn’t the one at fault at all. That he was the victim, and not them. That’s so weird, they used to tell him. You’re so weird, you know? The familiar pain pulls and aches in the most unpleasant ways, and it takes him a few minutes to push it all away completely.

It’s a soft call of his name that brings him back into reality.

“I promise, mom,” Hyukjae replies finally. “I will.”

“Good,” she huffs firmly. “So now, tell me. How’s he? Donghae, right? Tell me everything!”

Hyukjae laughs and shifts around until he’s lying comfortably in the middle of his bed, worries forgotten, then spends the next hour describing his soulmate to the best of his abilities. Somewhere in the very back of his mind, he can make out a distant humming that sounds a little like Donghae’s low tone of voice. He falls asleep to the sound of it.

 

 

 

The next day, Hyukjae flops down on the nearest couch he sees in the staff room of the maternity ward, groaning to himself as he slumps in it like he’s become boneless. Which is theoretically impossible, he reasons with himself. Shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat, he lets his eyes flutter shut and drops his head backwards onto the worn cushions. He knows he’s acting a bit too dramatic—the nurses have been there for far longer today—, but right now, as all the muscles of his body ache in protest, he doesn’t care all that much. It’s like the hours of sleep he got to enjoy the last night never happened.

Next to him, Siwon rolls his eyes. He snickers at his grumpy expression, before leaning back as well and putting his phone away.

“Having a tough day, colleague?” he asks teasingly and nudges him with an elbow.           

“Shut up,” Hyukjae retorts with a childish whine as he squirms away from him. “I’m exhausted, and it’s barely half past three o’clock in the afternoon. I’m hungry.”

He’s about to add something else, maybe beg his friend to go down to the cafeteria and buy him something to eat, when a familiar voice rings in his mind. Pausing, he listens to it carefully and tries to make out the muffled words he hears. They’re hesitant but warm, thick with a shy yet enthusiastic tone that he recognizes almost too easily. It’s… it starts slowly. It’s a good thing that I brought you lunch, then, right?

Surprised, Hyukjae whips around in the couch and almost gasps aloud upon seeing Donghae standing at the doorframe.

The latter doesn’t dare to step fully inside and shifts awkwardly from one foot to another instead, nibbling nervously onto his lower lip. He waves at him, while a flurry of excitement flares up within them and gets thrown back and forth between their open minds.

“Err… hi?” Donghae utters quietly. “I… came to see Yoojung-noona and Donghwa-hyung and the baby, and I thought—” I thought maybe you’d like—… have lunch? I could—… heard your hunger all the way from the coffee shop.

“Oh,” Hyukjae blinks as he gets up, slightly embarrassed that he had been so loud. “Yeah, I’m… pretty hungry. Days can get busy at the ward sometimes.”

Nodding in understanding, Donghae hands him a small paper bag and grins hopefully. “Well, uh—…” Here you go, then. I made it myself at the shop. No seafood!

Thanks, he says as he accepts it. Thanks a lot, Donghae.

His soulmate rubs his nape delightedly, like a small puppy who got praised, and then gives him another appealing smile. Ah, Hyukjae muses distractedly at the familiar sight. The breathtaking smile again.

Upon hearing his loud thoughts, Donghae squeaks and nearly trips on nothing. I—I—… he splutters, blushing furiously as he stumbles backwards. I have to go. Bye!

Sooyoung walks in a few seconds after he Donghae, just in time to hear Siwon comment airily, “So, Hyukjae, I take it that you’ve made another connection, huh? Because that made literally no sense to me.”

Hyukjae smiles, feeling oddly satisfied with himself. Donghae looks pretty good when he’s blushing.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Donghae barges in the hospital room and promptly shuts the door behind him, then slumps heavily against it. He brings his hands to his face and squeals loudly into them, ignoring the odd look his older brother is giving him. Another incoherent sound of delight is about to flow past his mouth, when Hyukjae’s thoughts sneak their ways in his mind again.

You know, Hyukjae pipes up, affecting a nonchalant tone. If you keep on acting so shy every time I tell you that you have a nice smile, I might keep on doing it just to see your reaction. Because, you know, you do. And you’re being kind of adorable right now.

“Oh, my God!” Donghae splutters in a mixture of embarrassment and thrill. “Stop it!”

In his head, although he sounds just as shy as himself, Hyukjae continues to chuckle at him.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

“Oh, my God,” Sooyoung exclaims excitedly as the three friends have lunch together in the staff room. “You got bonded? When? Where? To whom?!”

“I haven’t gotten completely bonded yet,” Hyukjae frowns at her, momentarily distracted from the amusing mess of emotions that Donghae’s mind has become. “Technically, we only—…”

“Yeah, yeah,” she waves a dismissive hand at him. “Spare me the boring theory, I know it all already. Is he hot?”

“Hey,” Siwon huffs next to his soulmate, offended. “I’m literally just right here!”

 

Hyukjae blinks, perplexed. “That’s… a very odd question to ask me,” he says sincerely. Then, a small smile playing on his lips, he sighs dreamily. “He does look very good, though. I want him to wrap his arms around me and give me a big, warm hug.” He then turns back to his best friends, eyes wide with excitement. “Donghae looks very warm.”

Do I look warm? his soulmate wonders in his mind. Do I? Would I give him nice hugs? Would I really?

I think you would, Hyukjae says with a chuckle and a blush. You have a very beautiful smile, and very nice shoulders. I think you’d give me some wonderful hugs. I don’t know if they’d be as good as Daniel Craig’s, though.

A disbelieving silence answers at him at first. Look. Not everyone can look like Daniel Craig, okay. 

“Awww!” Sooyoung coos at him. “That’s so cute! Hyukjae is crushing on someone!”

“What? I’m not crushing on anyone,” Hyukjae retorts too quickly, just as Siwon snorts triumphantly.

“That Donghae guy definitely isn’t for you, Sooyoung, baby,” he nods wisely as he brings her closer to him. “He gives warm hugs; you don’t like warmth.” 

Hyukjae laughs, shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

“Okay,” Donghwa nods after Donghae tells them about his meeting with his soulmate. “That’s very great and everything, but have you seen my baby girl? She’s beautiful. Gorgeous. Flawless. Perfect. Just like her mother.”

“Don’t be such a spoilsport, Donghwa,” Yoojung scolds mildly but laughs when her brother-in-law rushes to the cradle. “He’s just happy.”

Congratulations on his first connection will have to wait for later. Soon enough, and after much whining and pouting, Donghae’s arms are finally full of baby Lee Yoonhwa—and if Hyukjae’s mind gets assaulted by his adoration for his little niece, he’s almost entirely sure that he doesn’t care. On the contrary, a similar affection to his own seeps slowly in his mind.

Babies, they think in unison.

 

 

 

Chapter Six

 

 

 

Grounded in the kitchen, Donghae keeps glancing in the direction of the living-room even when his mother tries to get his attention, which earns him an exasperated sigh he doesn’t hear. His eyes follow the sight of his baby niece who is cradled carefully in the arms of her father, an envious pout pulling the corners of his mouth downwards. He’s itching to walk over and hold her as well, but apparently, he has to help with the cooking and then set the table for lunch. The fact that he’s become a parent a few days ago seems to be meaning that his older brother doesn’t have to take part in that chore anymore.

Donghae thinks it’s unfair.

“Donghae!” a sharp call then tears him out of his contemplation on injustice, before his mother swats him curtly on the back of his head.

Yelping, he looks up and frowns a little. “Oh, yeah—uh…” he clears his throat sheepishly, giving her a winning smile. “Sorry, mom. I love you.”

She gives him a stern look, but the small grin that’s threatening to spread upon betrays her amusement. “I’m sure you do,” she scoffs, though not unkindly. “I know you’re practically in love with Yoonhwa, but do try and at least pretend that you’re listening to me when I’m talking.”

“I am!” Donghae exclaims. “I was… a little.”

“A little is not enough, young man,” she retorts wisely as she goes back to cutting the carrots. “Now, tell me more about your soulmate, will you? What does he look like? Does he seem nice so far?”

Momentarily distracted from his niece by the pleasant thought of his soulmate, Donghae turns to her and smiles excitedly. His hands start to move around messily, which causes fat drops of water to splash around the kitchen floor and on his mother’s apron. Unaware of the mini-disaster he’s creating, he bounces a little on his feet while squealing happily.

“Oh!” he gasps loudly. “He’s really, really nice! His name’s Lee Hyukjae, and he’s an obstetrician, and he works in the hospital near the coffee shop, and he’s just so cute, and—…” He lets out a small, dreamy sigh, before adding, “He’s so hot, mom.”

His mother raises disbelieving eyebrows at him, muttering about not quite understanding how that is relevant to her question, just as Yoojung steps in the kitchen to sit down at the small table. The younger woman still looks a little tired from the labor but is already in a much better condition than a few days ago. She sends them a curious look and glances a last time at her baby, who’s babbling happily at Donghwa, before she focuses her attention fully on Donghae.

“Are you talking about Donghae’s soulmate?” she asks with a smile, picking up a piece of bread and taking a small bite. “He’s the other doctor we met at the hospital, right?”

“Yes!” he exclaims loudly while ignoring the roll of the eyes his mother sends him. “He was so awesome, right? He’s a great doctor, isn’t he?”

His sister-in-law frowns as if she’s considering telling him that Hyukjae technically hasn’t taken care of her at all, as he wasn’t her doctor in the first place, but he’s already speaking again. “His name’s Hyukjae, and he’s an obstetrician, and he works in the hospital near the coffee shop, and he’s very cute and very hot.”

Yoojung laughs, amused, and shares a knowing look with his mother. “Believe it or not,” she comments airily. “I already knew most of that. Though I suppose I was a bit too in pain to realize if he was really hot or not.”

Then, after finishing her piece of bread and making sure she hasn’t left crumbles on the table, she asks him, “How are your thoughts with him, then? Are they strong yet?”

Donghae pauses in his task—not that he has been doing much so far anyway—and thinks for a moment, blushing faintly. Even now, if he takes the time to listen carefully, he can hear the faint humming of Hyukjae’s thoughts resonating in the very back of his mind. But as opposed to the first day he met his soulmate, it seems like the tuneless murmur has earned more notes to it, like it became some sort of a soft, almost imperceptible melody.

“Well, it’s… I think it’s getting a little stronger,” he says softly. “I still can’t hear his thoughts from here but the… humming sounds louder than the first time, you know? Like it’s strengthening.”

“I see,” Yoojung nods pensively. “That’s nice! I’m glad for you, Donghae. That reminds me of the first time I got to share thoughts with Donghwa in high school. He was so noisy.”

The three of them laugh loudly together and in the living-room, Donghwa sends them a suspicious look. Soon enough, the baby whines again for his attention and he forgets all about them once again.

“Why doesn’t this surprise me,” their mother chuckles under her breath while shaking her head fondly. “Both my sons can’t seem to stay quiet for more than five minutes.”

Yoojung snickers and stretches her arms high above her head, sighing. “Since you can hear each other’s thoughts,” she continues then. “Did your soulmate say anything about you? Does he seem to like you?”

“Oh!” Donghae gasps again, blushing even harder. He ducks his head down, trying to hide a smile and failing miserably. “He… he said that I’m cute! And, and that I have a breathtaking smile—he said breathtaking, can you believe it? That’s so sweet of him! And also that I have nice and broad shoulders. He said that I look like I’d give him very nice hugs.” He whispers the last words like it’s some sort of secret, a thrilled grin spread across his face.

Chuckling, Yoojung doesn’t miss a beat and asks slyly, “Okay, but did he think that you are hot?”

Surprised, Donghae blinks and thinks about it for a while. “I—… no, he hasn’t.” He pauses, then turns to her seriously. “Maybe I’m not hot enough for him? Yoojung-noona, do you think I’m hot? Am I?”

Before his sister-in-law can answer, Donghwa walks in with Yoonhwa in his arms and swiftly kicks the back of his shin. “Stop asking my wife weird questions, brat. She doesn’t find you ‘hot’ at all.”

Whining as the rest of his family laughs out loud, Donghae stomps his feet and continues to argue that it’s vital he knows the answer.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Finally seeing his soulmate again after a few days without feels like drinking a huge glass of fresh water after standing in the scorching sun for a couple of hours. The thought is odd and a little terrifying, but Hyukjae’s mind welcomes it so readily he just can’t fight against it. Instead, he finds himself relishing in the sensation once again and enjoys the rush of words that aren’t his own seeping in his head. They’re still a little broken and messy sometimes, but still much more coherent than when they first met. It feels a lot as if he’s tuned to a radio broadcast of which signal weakens every once in a while. He has to admit it can be a little confusing and distracting, especially when he’s at work, but his soulmate’s thoughts are usually so harmless and random that he can’t find it himself to be annoyed.

A little shy still—butterflies seem to have awoken in the pit of his stomach and, judging by the way the other blushes, there’s no way he hasn’t picked up on his excitement—, he smiles up at Donghae. The latter walks over to their usual table in the coffee shop, next to the pretty fairy lights, and sits down carefully in front of him. Silence stretches between the two of them for a short while, only broken by the excited murmurs of their own thoughts. Hyukjae doesn’t bother pretending and focuses his whole attention on them, the weariness of his mind appeased slightly by their light rambling.

Handing him his mug of hot chocolate, Donghae smiles and quickly ducks his head down, as if it’s enough for him to conceal the rush of his thoughts. It isn’t quite, of course—not at all. Soulmate! Hyukjae hears him exclaim and he smiles a little. My soulmate—Hyukjae is so handsome and cute and nice and—… he makes me happy. I’m happy to see him. Happy! Very happy!

“I’m happy to see you too,” Hyukjae says with a bashful chuckle. “It’s great that we could meet up today.”

“Yes!” Donghae nearly shouts out, which earns him curious glances from other customers. He doesn’t seem to notice them and nods eagerly at him instead, eyes so bright that they look just as pretty as the fairy lights. “It’s been a while!”

Taking a sip of his drink, Hyukjae laughs quietly at his enthusiasm. “It’s only been three days at most. That’s not that long yet, right?”

It is to me, his soulmate protests petulantly, a small pout tugging the corners of his lips downwards. I… —missed Hyukjae. Felt like an eternity. Did he miss me?

I did, he replies softly, and for a short moment, Donghae’s mind seems to blank out for words. I did miss you, Donghae. I’m really glad we could meet today.

Similar blushes color their faces, while they share secret smiles and stolen little glances—yes, they think together, they’re quite happy indeed.

 

 

 

Time then flies by unnoticed as they start talking about anything from futilities to more serious topics, the outside world all but forgotten. It goes from ‘the Christmas tree is very pretty’ to ‘where do you see yourself in the future?’, including ‘baby Yoonhwa is so adorable’.

“Have you already made another connection?” Donghae asks him after a while. He’s already finished his hot green tea and is fiddling with the spoon, glaring mournfully at his empty cup. “I mean, you know, before me? Have you met a match?”

Tensing up, Hyukjae’s eyes become sharp and a little pained. “I—… yes. Yes, I did,” he finally decides to reply honestly. He glances outside and sighs, trying his best to keep his memories at bay. As much as he hates to remember, his soulmate deserves to know. “I—… she was my match in love. It didn’t end very well between us, though.” Or even started, he scoffs bitterly.

“Oh,” Donghae frowns, both at his words and at the onslaught of incoherent thoughts his mind must be assaulted with. “I’m really sorry to hear that. Is it okay if I ask you why?”

Nibbling onto his lower lip nervously, Hyukjae stares hard at the table between them and does his best to clear his head so his soulmate won’t hear everything that goes through it.

“Well, she—…” He stops, reluctant to be too open about his life just yet. Unconsciously, he reaches for his left hand and touches his black ring. “She was really nice but she wasn’t very willing to understand all the… facets of my personality, let’s say. And I… I mean, it’s something very important to me so I didn’t think we’d get along very well.”

“Oh,” Donghae says again with an understanding nod. He peers up at him and blinks curiously, but seems to understand that Hyukjae won’t tell him anything today. “Well, that might sound bad, but I’m really glad that you guys didn’t. I’m really thankful you decided to give me a chance.”

Brightening up, he sends him a winning smile. “I’m okay so far, aren’t I? You said I’m nice and that I have broad shoulders! That I give nice hugs!”

Hyukjae laughs and has to resist the urge of reaching out to pinch his cheeks. “Well, technically,” he snickers. “I said you look like you’d give me nice hugs. You never really gave me one yet, have you?”

“Is this a challenge?” his soulmate smirks at him mischievously. “Because I’m pretty sure that you do want a hug. Is this your sneaky way to ask me for one?”

Blushing, Hyukjae is about to deny it vehemently when the other man promptly pulls his chair closer to him. It makes a loud screeching noise against the floor of the coffee shop, earning curious glances from the other customers once again, which causes him to redden even more.

“W—wait,” he stammers. “I didn’t mean that I—”

Before he can finish his sentence, Donghae leans over and rests a careful hand on his shoulder. Then, with such an earnest gleam in his eyes it makes Hyukjae ache inside, he smiles and pulls him slowly into a hug.

Hyukjae’s heart misses a beat—or maybe two, or three, or even more. His head is brought gently into the crook of his soulmate’s neck, where he seems to fit perfectly, while his eyes close unconsciously under the gentle pressure of his hands. He breathes in his comforting fragrance and sighs contently, feeling himself relax with a disconcerting easiness. The feeling of Donghae’s body so close to his own soothes him much more than he first expected and, soon enough, Hyukjae can’t help but press himself closer to him. His own arms sneak around his chest and he sighs, cuddling eagerly into his soulmate’s reassuring warmth. The latter’s embrace is warm and soft while his arms feels strong around Hyukjae—but still loose enough so that he can break free from their hold whenever he wishes too.

Feels so good, Hyukjae starts mumbling in his mind before he can stop himself. Donghae feels so good, his hug is so good. Donghae—Donghae—Donghae—my soulmate, Donghae. Hugs! Warmth! Donghae!

Against him, Donghae chuckles gently and buries his nose into his hair, much like Hyukjae does into his neck. He was right all along—his soulmate does give the nicest, warmest hugs.

 

 

 

Chapter Seven

 

 

 

The first snow of this winter falls just a few days into the month of December. A thin layer of frosty whiteness covers the streets of Seoul on the first day and then thickens quickly through the following ones. The weather becomes unpredictable, fluctuating wildly between snowfalls and bright and sunny. The only common detail is coldness.

About a month has gone by since the two soulmates first met each other and, while neither of them seem willing to say it aloud, it’s quite apparent that their mental bond has strengthened a lot already. Even now that he’s home and getting ready to go to work, Hyukjae can hear a few words of his soulmate’s random babbling. He smiles as he distractedly focuses on it, his hands busy working on his tie knot

What time is it? Donghae wonders. I should get going… maybe… I don’t want to move… sofa is so comfy today! Then, after a few more minutes of reluctance, he shouts, where’s my other sock?!

This time, Hyukjae can’t help but laugh out loud. He shakes his head in fond disbelief and grabs his car keys, heading towards the entrance. After a last glance at his reflection in the mirror, he finally steps out. The contrast in temperatures makes him shudder uncomfortably and he grimaces slightly, then goes to press the button of the elevator.

You know, he muses to Donghae. I’ve never been to your house but I already have a strong feeling that there’s a mess everywhere.

A pause, followed by a rush of embarrassment and slight indignation that seeps in his mind. But Hyukjae knows it’s only harmless.

I have no idea what you’re talking about, Donghae huffs. My place is very tidy, thank you very much.

Hyukjae snickers and walks in the elevator. Sure it is. Did you find your sock?

The silence he earns in return is enough of an answer.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

“And, and, and then he thought that he’s been right all this time and that I do give nice hugs!” Donghae exclaims dreamily. He turns to Ryeowook, who seems busy working on orders, and smiles in unrestrained excitement. “Can you believe it? He said I give nice hugs

“How wonderful,” his friend retorts sarcastically. “It’d be even more if you could help a little, hyung.”

Swiftly ignoring the last part of his sentence, Donghae holds his chin on his two open palms while propping his elbows on the counter and gazes outside at the hospital. “I’m so lucky, Ryeowook. Hyukjae is so nice and cute and handsome… He’s a bit cheeky and playful but that’s, like, so charming! You know, I caught him thinking he wanted to cuddle with me once or twice already! Isn’t that great?”

“Yeah, yeah—fantastic,” Ryeowook grumbles. “Now can you keep quiet for a while? I’m sure even Hyukjae-hyung is getting tired of your babbling.”  

“He isn’t!” Donghae gasps indignantly, just as he hears Hyukjae protests in his mind, I’m not!

Surprised, he blinks and glances at the hospital building once again. Are you eavesdropping? he asks teasingly.

W—what, no, I’m not, I’m just—… His soulmate seems to pick up on his smugness and huffs embarrassingly. Well, what can I do when you’re practically screaming all your thoughts?

Now, now, Donghae smiles innocently. If you wanted to know what I thought about you, you could just have asked, Hyukjae.

A flat silence drops in his mind, prompting him to snicker childishly.

You’re annoying, Hyukjae sniffs, though not unkindly. Go help your coworker instead of embarrassing me.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

A few days later, as they settle themselves in the staff room of the maternity ward, Sooyoung rolls her eyes at Hyukjae, who pretends swiftly not to have noticed it. Instead, he stares hard at the patient file he’s holding between his hands, even though he already knows it by heart. At this point, everything is worth trying to deter his friend and make her stop nagging him all the time.

“I still think you should ask him on a date,” she reasons yet once again, which prompts Siwon to snicker next to her.

Flushing, Hyukjae sends them both a glare but isn’t too surprised when it goes unnoticed.

“I mean, I understand that you don’t want to rush things, to keep them slow,” Sooyoung continues while snacking on a chocolate bar. “But it’s been almost four weeks since you guys met already. A date won’t hurt, you know? You’re both obviously crushing on each other, so what’s the point in holding back?”

“It’s not obvious,” he grumbles. “Donghae never said that he was… crushing on me or anything.”

This time, it’s Siwon’s turn to snort in disbelief. “Please, Hyukjae. You told us yourself that the guy talks about you all the time. Like, literally all the time,” he says. “You even got distracted in consultations last time because he was rambling too loud about how wonderful you apparently are.”

“That just further proves my point,” Sooyoung nods wisely. She creases the wrapping of her finished snack and aims it to the bin, cheering when it goes straight inside. “Look, just ask him on a date. What could possibly go wrong?”

Hyukjae is briefly tempted to enumerate the long list of ‘what could possibly go wrong’ just to spite her and proves his own point. He sighs instead and turns back to the papers he’s been fiddling with for the past few minutes, a pensive frown creasing his forehead. A date? he wonders quietly. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but rather that he’s still feeling too shy to ask Donghae on one.

I’d love to go on a date, Donghae mumbles so distractedly Hyukjae is pretty sure he’s not fully aware of what he’s thinking. One shot of expresso, vanilla and milk… they said decaffeinated, didn’t they? Hmm…

Hyukjae isn’t quite sure whether it’s a good thing or not.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

When Hyukjae stops in front of the coffee shop on a Monday night after his shift ends, Donghae immediately greets him with a hug. Humming under his breath, Hyukjae cuddles into his familiar warmth and sighs happily, then tilts his head up shyly to press a soft kiss on his soulmate’s cheek. The latter gasps in surprise and tightens his hold around him unconsciously, before burying his face into the crook of his neck to hide his blush.

You feel good, Hyukjae tells him quietly.

Donghae gulps under his breath and squeezes him once, as though to tell him he does too. Maybe we should go. It’s cold outside.

No, he protests in an almost-whine. Stay. Just a bit longer. It was a tiring day at the ward and I’m feeling clingy. “I’ve been wanting to hug you since earlier.”

“I—… okay. Me too.” I missed you. A lot.

“I did, too,” Hyukjae replies softly.

A rush of happiness, thrilled shyness and affection rings deafeningly in Hyukjae’s mind and he smiles lazily, his eyes fluttering shut contentedly. He relishes into it and lets his own emotions blend together with Donghae’s, until it feels like they’re sharing exactly the same feelings. Although their shins are half-buried in white snow and that some fresh new flakes are falling onto them, and that he’s started to shiver from head to toe, Hyukjae’s never felt as good as he does at this precise moment. So good, he repeats absentmindedly. Donghae, soulmate—so good…

The two men stay there for a long while, hugging in the middle of a crowded sidewalk on a snowy day, with Ryeowook peeping on them from inside the coffee shop—but truthfully, Hyukjae can’t care any less. Donghae—his soulmate—feels warm and soft and so loving all pressed up against him, and as he lets his lips brush softly along the tanned skin of his neck, Hyukjae can only hope that it’ll never stop.

 

 

 

Walking over to the mall that’s a few streets down the square they both work at, where they agreed to go hang out together, takes a bit longer than expected. Soon enough, and despite the thick scarf he wrapped securely around his neck before going out, Hyukjae finds himself shivering at the cold that seeps through the holes of his clothes. He grimaces and hunches his shoulders slightly, hoping to keep a little warmer.

Next to him, bundled up in an incredibly thick winter jacket, Donghae sends him a concerned look. Mom bought it for me last winter, he explains when he hears Hyukjae wonder about it.

“Do you want to—…” he starts and then pauses, before holding out a hopeful hand. “Do you want to hold my hand? I’ll keep you warm!”

No, really, I just want to hold your hand, Donghae’s thoughts argue at the same time. Keeping you warm is just a plus.

Blinking, Hyukjae chuckles bashfully but doesn’t dare to comment. He wants it just as much as Donghae. Instead, he accepts silently and slips his fingers into his soulmate’s, who quickly shove their entwined hands into his warm pocket.

“There,” Donghae smiles happily. “All better, right?”

“Much better,” Hyukjae agrees with a smile.

They walk a few more meters in silence, until his soulmate finally decides to break it. “So, I—… um…” He glances around them, as though looking for help. “We’ve been hanging out a lot lately, and I—… I mean, w—would you like to—…” A pause, upon which he seems to reconsider his words hastily. “I mean, last time when we were at work, I heard you talking about…” Dates? he finishes mentally.

Stiffening in embarrassment, Hyukjae adverts his eyes as well. “I—… it was—it was Sooyoung and Siwon.” She said we should… maybe go on a date soon.

“Oh,” Donghae nods hastily, although he still looks pretty much confused and uncertain. “Well, that’s—…” Actually, I already know that, he chuckles sheepishly. I’m just… looking for an excuse to—… ask you on d—… I mean, she’s right, isn’t she? Dates aren’t a bad idea.

By now, the mood between the both of them is so thickly awkward Hyukjae wants to laugh at the whole situation. Except his throat is so tight with anticipation he can’t even find it in himself to gulp his nervousness down. Coldness isn’t a problem anymore—he’s blushing so hard he almost feels too hot.

“Well, I mean—…” he finds himself stammering. No, I—I don’t think it is. A bad idea, I mean! I mean, I’d really love to go on a—… I mean, you know, with you, but I don’t want to—… I mean, yes, I do! But, I—… I’d love to.

Donghae laughs quietly next to him, but it sounds high-pitched and just as nervous. M—me too, he mumbles. “So, m—maybe we could, like—… I mean, I’m free next Friday night so maybe we could go somewhere together and have d—dinner, like a date, or…” He gulps and tightens his grasp unconsciously around Hyukjae’s hand in his pocket. “I mean, assuming that you’re okay with it, of course! I’d understand if you think it’s too soon! Actually maybe you have a night shift that day and I’m just acting recklessly and pressuring you, and that’s really not what I want. I mean, I just… I—I—I’d be very, very happy to go on a—date with you, Hyukjae. Whenever you’d like to.”

How they still both haven’t melted from embarrassment and are still able to talk coherently is completely beyond Hyukjae. He blushes furiously yet once again and clears his throat, ducking his head down. “I’d… be very happy to go on a date with you next Friday,” he says with a small voice, smiling secretly. Then, as an afterthought, he adds quickly, “Donghae.”

Awkwardness doesn’t dissipate for the rest of the time they spend together that night. It’s a good kind of awkwardness, though. When Hyukjae goes back home that night, he flings himself onto the bed excitedly and screams into his pillows. From the way his mind is assaulted with an onslaught of similar thrill and euphoria, he guesses that Donghae is feeling just the same.

 

 

 

Chapter Eight

 

 

 

Friday comes around both too soon and too late. Eyes strained on the moving hands of the wall-clock, Donghae wishes hard that they would slow down, as much as he wants them to hurry up and reach eight o’clock already. There’s still an hour and half to go until then, however, and all he can do in the meantime is brew a little bit more nervousness and wait. Nibbling unconsciously on the insides of his cheeks, he slumps against the counter and lets his forehead drop onto it. He sends another conflicted glance towards the hospital and groans to himself, all under Ryeowook’s amused eyes.

The two soulmates agreed to meet up that night for their first official date together. The prospect of it is as thrilling as it’s also nerve-wracking, but all in a good way. The only downsides are that Donghae feels like he’s become a teenager all over again, that he’s probably going to embarrass himself more than just once, and that Hyukjae will be fully aware of it. In fact, the Sharing of thoughts can also be a hindrance, he realizes mournfully, and most especially when one is trying to come up with a surprise.

Trying not to think of the very reason of his nervousness is a very tiring pastime, Donghae sighs to himself. And certainly not one he can claim to be good at. Hopefully, Hyukjae has been too busy today to pay attention to his inner rambling. He wouldn’t really count on it, though.

“It’s just a date,” Ryeowook then pipes up when he looks ready to tear his hair out of frustration. “Don’t be so nervous, hyung, it doesn’t suit you. Everything will go well.”

Donghae turns to his friend and gives him a pained look. “But what if he thinks it’s boring and realizes he doesn’t like me at all, that I’m a horrible man because I like seafood, and then says he doesn’t want to see me anymore, and I’ll cry and be heartbroken and—”

“You’re exaggerating, Donghae-hyung,” the other cuts him off flatly.

At the same time, Hyukjae’s voice resonates in his head and says, you’re being very dramatic, Donghae. I’m not going to stop seeing you just because you like seafood. What kind of logic is that?

“Sorry,” Donghae mumbles, although he’s not really sure who he’s talking to. “I’m just… nervous.”

I am, too, Hyukjae chuckles softly. I’m nervous and… excited, too.

“I know you are,” Ryeowook nods wisely as he picks up a dust-cloth and wipes distractedly the surface of the counter clean. “It’ll be fine, trust me. Just don’t do anything stupid.”

That’s easier said than done, Donghae wants to retort.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

As nervous as he knows his soulmate is, Hyukjae tries his best to focus all his attention on one task in hopes of clearing out his mind. Which appears to be quite impossible, he realizes soon enough, as Donghae’s agitation continues to distract him. He sighs to himself, swiftly reminded of the one drawback that comes along with the Sharing. Not that he particularly minds it—quite the opposite, actually—, but he supposes that everything should have some of its own flaws. In fact, the stronger their emotions are, the more powerfully they are going to reverberate in each other’s minds. And today, they’re so loud he almost jumped out of his skin when he woke up this morning. As much as Hyukjae enjoys swimming in his soulmate’s thoughts and letting the latter hear his own without the potential embarrassment that speaking actual words brings, it can still be distracting. Considering his field of work, which requires a lot of concentration, and his wish to keep a part of his life private, he can’t help but find it a little difficult to handle. Plus, acting nonchalant or cool while he’s actually feeling shy and eager is nearly impossible these days.

Hyukjae knows that Donghae agrees with him, although maybe for slightly different reasons. The constant struggle he’s been going through all day to keep his plans for the evening secret is certainly one of them.

The thought makes Hyukjae smile happily. He might be complaining about a lot of things, but really, he’s just as thrilled about their upcoming date as Donghae is. Knowing that his soulmate is about to show up anytime soon is enough to make him feel all giddy inside.

Nibbling onto his lower lip, he glances up at the wall-clock of the staff room. Spending time with Donghae is something he’s always looked forward to; spending time that has great chances of taking a romantic stance sounds even more perfect, if that’s possible. Be rational, he scolds himself mildly. There’s no need to act like a thirteen-year-old kid who gets to bring their crush to prom, is there? And yet, there he is, doing his best to refrain from squealing in impatience and failing at it miserably.

Hyukjae? Donghae calls softly, prompting him to blush and his heart to skip a beat.

Yes? he replies, affecting a tranquil tone that doesn’t sound even close to convincing.

A nervous yet slightly amused silence answers him at first. I’m coming over to the ward right now, his soulmate says. Is it okay? Are you done yet?

If he were to be honest, Hyukjae would tell him that he’s been done and waiting for him for almost an hour now.

I—… yes, Hyukjae whispers. He nearly jumps on his feet to grab for his coat, but stops himself just in time when he realizes how desperate it would be. I’ll wait for you at the reception, okay?

As Donghae hums a small yes, Hyukjae adjusts the collar of his shirt and glances a last time at his reflection in a nearby mirror. He smiles to himself and then finally heads out of the staff room, his soulmate’s thoughts buzzing pleasantly in his mind.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

The looks that Donghae and his bouquet are receiving from the staff crew of the ward are enough to send him through another bout of nervousness, doubled with slight embarrassment. He gulps difficultly and tries to give them a hesitant smile—which probably comes off as a grimace anyway—, while trying to keep his mind off the delicate flowers he’s still holding in his hand. Glancing down at them, he makes sure that the few peonies he chose earlier aren’t ruined yet and smiles at the pretty colors.

Quite to his own satisfaction, Hyukjae still doesn’t seem to know about the gift he’s prepared. Keeping his thoughts on them closed has been a tiring task, but most definitely worth it so far.

“Hi, Donghae,” he then hears a familiar voice say softly.

Pulled out of his contemplation, he turns around and finds himself smiling when he sees Hyukjae standing awkwardly by the reception counter. His soulmate grins back tentatively and takes a step forward, his hands clasped together around his coat that he’s holding. He’s wearing a simple burgundy sweater along with a dark pair of jeans, which both flatter his best features in the simplest way. When Donghae looks closely—to be checking out someone is such an unbecoming expression—, he notes that the sleeves are a bit too long for him as they hide almost half his hands. The sight makes Hyukjae look so adorable and yet so handsome all at the same time that Donghae smiles even wider, the pace of his heartbeat speeding up in his chest.

“You… you look really, really good,” Donghae confides with a soft smile.

He’s about to add something else—maybe make an obnoxious compliment about the way the colors of his clothes contrast beautifully with his eyes—, when excited gasps and dreamy sighs rising from around the ward entrance stop him in his tracks. Surprised, he blinks and looks around them with a confused frown—and barely stops himself from cringing physically. Somehow, the number of onlookers that have gathered at the reception seems to have doubled while he wasn’t paying attention.

“Come on!” Donghae sees one of the nurses urge him with a hushed voice. “Give him the flowers!”

Apparently still unaware of the commotion that’s building up behind his back, Hyukjae thanks him with another smile. He takes a few steps closer, and then glances down curiously at the bouquet in Donghae’s hands. Oh! he exclaims, pleasantly surprised. Happiness rolls off him in warm waves, steady and generous just like him. Flowers! Soulmate got me flowers! They’re so pretty…

Then, with a cute frown, he wonders, how did he manage to get them without me knowing though?

Donghae chuckles, a bit proud of himself. “Here,” he offers the bouquet to his soulmate as he walks over to him. “It’s—… well, it’s for you.”

“They’re really pretty,” Hyukjae says aloud this time, and then gives him one of his most beautiful smiles. “Thank you, Donghae.” Thank you very much.

Y—you’re welcome, he clears his throat, destabilized by his prettiness. “I—I—…” he stammers. “Should we go?”

Hyukjae nods excitedly and as they turn towards the doors of the ward, a sudden call of their names stop them in their tracks. Behind the reception counter, the doctor he knows as Sooyoung releases a fake sob and leans dramatically against her own soulmate.

“Oh, my!” she exclaims loudly, prompting the rest of the staff crew to snicker altogether. “The sweet child of mine has finally found a lover! Donghae, dear boy, do bring our precious Hyukjae back before eleven!”

Hissing embarrassingly under his breath, Hyukjae throws them a hard glare that’s swiftly ignored, much to his annoyance. Oh, . , , . So embarrassing! he groans desperately. Someone please shut them up.

“Don’t fall pregnant on the first date!” Siwon adds with a teasing laugh, just as Donghae is hastily dragged outside the ward by his soulmate. “And even if you do, you know where to go anyway!”

“Go to hell!” Hyukjae shouts back. “All of you!”

The sounds of their raucous laughter follow the two men all the way to the elevators.

 

 

 

After Hyukjae puts away the bouquet of peonies in his car, promising to find them a nice vase as soon as he gets home, they decide to take a taxi to head to the Seongbukcheon Fountain Square. While browsing through the Internet a few days earlier, Donghae found out that it was where one of the biggest European Christmas markets of Seoul was being held this winter. With the holidays coming up at the end of the month, he was convinced that it was a rather good idea for a first date. Although Hyukjae was thoughtful enough not to bring it up intentionally, keeping it as Donghae’s surprise, he agreed with him wholeheartedly.

The square is already crowded with families and couples when the two soulmates get off the taxi a while later. Countless stalls have been fitted around it, bright with fairy lights and colorful with sparkly tinsel fabrics, while a huge Christmas tree stands tall in the middle of the fountain. Cheerful carols are playing loudly through the outdoor speakers, barely heard over the noises of laughter and conversations.

“I’ve never come here at this time of the year,” Hyukjae muses curiously as he looks around him, distractedly pulling the hem of his scarf higher around his face. I’m happy I get to come here with soulmate! With Donghae! Will he hold my hand tonight too?

“It’s my first time as well,” Donghae says, before he tilts his head around to give him a warm smile. I’m happy too! Very happy! Hyukjae, my soulmate—first date! “Thanks for pretending you didn’t know where we would be going tonight, by the way. It’s very nice of you.”

Hyukjae laughs and shakes his head, shuffling subtly closer until he can nudge his shoulder with his own. “Don’t mention it, silly,” he rolls his eyes at him playfully. “I still think it’s a surprise even if you’ve been thinking a bit… noisily. A very good one. And I really didn’t expect the flowers.” That was nice, he adds silently with a hint of shyness. I really love them, Donghae.

I’m glad you do. “Oh, yeah,” Donghae exclaims proudly. “I did a good job, didn’t I?”

Smiling in fond amusement, his soulmate slips a hand carefully into Donghae’s and tugs him closer still.  “Yes,” he utters softly while leaning over until his lips nearly brush the cool skin of his cheek. “You really did.”

 

 

 

Chapter Nine

 

 

 

Donghae wears such an outraged expression on his handsome face that Hyukjae has a hard time holding back on his laughter. He bites onto his lower lip to stifle it as much as he can, feigning innocence and confusion as he plays with the leaflet that was shoved into his hands earlier. Tilting his head around to the side, he breathes out slowly and watches condensation fade into the cold air, then tugs a little on Donghae’s sleeve. As fun as it is to be teasing his soulmate, it’s always funnier when there’s an actual response. Even in his mind, Donghae sounds so bewildered that his thoughts are almost all blank.

Hyukjae tugs again, and this time, it seems enough to snap Donghae out of his apparent indignation.

“What do you mean you still haven’t bought a Christmas tree?” he finally demands. “It’s December!”

Snickering, Hyukjae takes a few steps closer until their chests are almost touching. He catches the way Donghae’s gaze drifts briefly towards his lips, prompting him to smile a little wider, then wraps his arms around his waist until his soulmate takes the hint and hugs him back. “I don’t really see the point in having one,” he reasons. “It’s not like I usually celebrate Christmas at home anyway.”

“But, it’s still Christmas!” Donghae insists stubbornly as he tucks Hyukjae’s head under his chin. “You should get a tree at least!”

You’re cute, Hyukjae comments amusedly and peers up at him, enjoying the hues of pink that creep across the other’s face. Sighing happily, he cuddles closer and enjoys his warmth with a contented hum. “Will you help me choose one, then?” A Christmas tree? We could go and buy one sometime next week?

“Yes!” Donghae exclaims. “Of course! I can even help you decorate it if you want!” So does that mean it’ll be our second date?

“Good,” Hyukjae nods and then takes a step backwards, not missing the way his soulmate tries to hold him back for a while longer. “Then that’s settled. Let’s go take another look around, I’m getting a little hungry.” Who knows? he sing-songs airily. Maybe it is.

The two soulmates manage to navigate their way through the bustling crowd rather successfully, all the while peering at the tiny shops shimmering with tinsel and listening to Mariah Carey singing cheerfully in the background. Their hands are firmly entwined together and kept warm in Donghae’s pocket as they chatter over random topics, sometimes pointing to pretty trinkets on display whenever they find some. They try to look around for some original food stalls—I’ve always wanted to try hot mulled wine, Donghae confided, and while it isn’t exactly food, Hyukjae agrees with him—, taking their time to enjoy the market and each other’s company, until they find one at the other side of the square that proposes French specialties.

Are we eating frog legs? Donghae asks as they sit down at one of the free tables. That’s a French dish, right?

“Well, it is, but technically,” Hyukjae muses as he hands him one of the menus. “It’s also a Chinese dish, and I’m pretty sure it’s also consumed in Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia and some other countries.” Then, with a smile, he adds, “I don’t think they’d propose any, though. Frog legs are delicacies in France so it’d be too expensive to be proposed here.”

Donghae nods thoughtfully, a soft smile playing on his lips. “You know so many things,” he tells him. “And you always look so excited when you tell me about them; it’s very cute.”

Embarrassed, Hyukjae clears his throat and looks down at the menu. “I don’t,” he mumbles, before looking up in interest. “And you know a lot of things too! You told me that you liked to bake last time, right?”

Don’t think I haven’t realized your trying to change topics, Donghae scolds playfully. “And yeah, I do! Most of the cakes we sell at the coffee shop are baked by both Sungmin-hyung and I. I don’t think you’ve met him but he works with us too. Always hidden in the kitchen though.”

“I tried to bake once when I was a kid. For a school event thing,” Hyukjae tells him with a snicker. “Mom’s never allowed me back in the kitchen ever since.” And yes, but can you blame me? he retorts. Talking about you is much more interesting.

“I could teach you if you want,” his soulmate offers with a smile, blushing slightly from his wordless comment. Is it just me or are you flirting with me, Lee Hyukjae?

Hyukjae laughs and leans forward a little, his elbows propped up on the wobbly table. “I’d love too,” he nods excitedly. What do you think? he then says with a mischievous tone. He loves the fact that they can be sincere to each other even if it’s only through their thoughts, because that’s surely not something he would have had the courage to say out loud.

A few minutes later while they’re still engrossed in each other and sharing secrets glances, a boisterous waiter comes over to take their orders. “Two Christmas sets for the two lovebirds over here!” he shouts too loudly, and it’s so embarrassing that Hyukjae swears he’s ready to crawl in a hole and stay there for the rest of his life.

But Donghae is laughing wholeheartedly in front of him and is playfully asking the owner if that means they can get discounts, and he sends Hyukjae a daring wink and then blushes a little, embarrassed thoughts stumbling one upon another in both their minds in a frenzy, and it’s so adorable, and Hyukjae—

Hyukjae thinks he’s fallen a little in love.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Little is not enough, Donghae finds himself protesting before he can possibly stop himself, and then blushes furiously when he realizes how childish he must have sounded.

Hyukjae seems to agree with him because he chuckles softly, cheeks just as red as his own. Confident much, aren’t we?

“No!” Donghae denies quickly. “I mean, I just—…” I didn’t mean that—… I mean I’m glad if you’ve started to have f—… I mean, uh, maybe I should—… okay, I’ll just shut up now.

It’s okay, Hyukjae clears his throat awkwardly. You’re making this very easy though. It’s kind of scary, to be honest.

Heart aching at the uncertainty and slight fear he hears in his soulmate’s voice, Donghae gives him a reassuring grin. “Hey, don’t worry about it,” he whispers softly enough so that only Hyukjae can hear him. Something tells him that the matter is important enough that it deserves to be talked about in actual words instead of just thoughts. “Just because I heard you think that doesn’t mean that I’m going to demand anything of you, Hyukjae. I’m not in a hurry; we’ll take this as slow as we want, okay? I don’t want you to feel pressured because of me.”

And then, as Hyukjae sends him a grateful smile, he mumbles, and you do, too.

His soulmate blinks, confused. “I do what?” he asks him with a frown.

You make it very easy for me to fall in love with you.

Eyes widening in surprise, Hyukjae clears his throat and ducks his head down hastily.

Donghae knows it’s not an ‘I love you’, and he also knows that there’s still a long time before any of that happens. But when he sees the brilliant smile that graces his soulmate’s plump lips, he’s certain that they’ve made some progress. Progress is good, he concludes delightedly.

 

 

 

Halfway through the night, after buying a couple of rather useless gadgets and a few Christmas presents, the two men find a small shooting range at the limits of the market. They decide to give it a try and bet another hot drink on it, bickering good-naturedly over which one of them is going to be the winner. Honestly, Donghae has never been really good at these kind of games—he’s more into soccer—but the excited and competitive gleam he caught in his soulmate’s eyes is enough to spur his own enthusiasm.

One hip leaning against the counter that separates them from the targets, Donghae watches Hyukjae aim with his toy-rifle. As his thoughts scatter around a little, he feels a wave of intense warmth spread through him at the enticing sight. Hyukjae’s eyes are serious and focused intently on their objective, and Donghae can’t help but wonder how amazing it would be to be the center of their attention. He wonders how good it would be to have Hyukjae handling him so carefully yet so firmly, like he knows exactly what he wants and will do everything in his power to get it. He wonders how it’s possible for a single man to look so attractive.

, he thinks mindlessly. He looks so ing good.

There’s something in the way he stands—in the way he breathes out slowly to relax, in the way he stares in determination, in the way his perfume reaches Donghae’s nostrils, and in the way his coat hugs the contours of his tense shoulders—that makes a raw emotion he’d rather not feel while sharing thoughts with the object of his desires rise quickly within him. Donghae thinks he shouldn’t have drunk that last glass of mulled wine, even if the seller swore none was spiked.

Just as he’s about to pull on the trigger, Hyukjae is hit by his unexpected arousal and stalls in destabilization. He turns towards him, eyebrows drawn together questioningly. What are you—… he starts and then stops, lips parted in surprise. Oh.

A pause.

Another one.

An even longer one.

Uh… thank you?

Donghae nods stupidly, embarrassed beyond coherent words as he adverts his eyes and wills himself to calm down.

It’s only a while later that Donghae realizes that Hyukjae looked more confused rather than anything else. It was as if he didn’t understand what could have possibly triggered his sudden arousal. Like he didn’t know what to do with it exactly, and like it didn’t affect him in the same way that it would have on Donghae.

Actually, the latter muses, each time he’s caught Hyukjae staring at him, his thoughts would usually echo a desire to have Donghae hugging him tight.

Donghae smiles, glancing affectionately at his soulmate. It’s not like he minds, not at all—he loves hugs too.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

“I had a really good time tonight, Donghae,” Hyukjae utters in the quietness of his car, after he stopped in front of his soulmate’s building. A really, really good time.

“Yeah, me too,” Donghae says just as softly and turns to smile at him.

A silence settles between the two men as they gaze at each other, smiling and blushing and chuckling for no apparent reason. The digital clock of the dashboard indicates that it’s a little after midnight, and snow has started to fall over once again. Hyukjae is vaguely tempted to comment on it—his soulmate has to work early tomorrow and he’s a little worried he’ll be too tired—, but then Donghae is leaning over the gear-shift hesitantly and gives him a tentative smile.

“Can I—” he asks rather awkwardly. Could I—… kiss you? Please? he ends wordlessly. Softer but messier thoughts are hummed in the back of his mind, repeating Hyukjae’s name over and over in a hopeful tone.

Certain that he can’t utter a single sound, Hyukjae nods nervously. Yes, he answers as he leans closer as well. I—… yes. I’d really like that.

“Okay, I—…”

The end of his sentence trails off and is lost in the moment as Donghae rests a hand on his arm, and in a fleeting second, their lips are softly pressed together. Eyes fluttering shut under the soft pressure of the kiss, the two soulmates shift subtly closer and tilt their head to the sides in appreciation. The lip-lock starts innocent, almost bashful, and tastes like mulled wine and the sweet candies they ate together at the Christmas market.

His cheeks burning from shyness, Hyukjae feels Donghae move his mouth slowly over his own. He answers by pressing himself closer but doesn’t dare to do much more, feeling a bit lost and out of place even though he still enjoys it immensely. Then, as his heartbeat speeds up frantically in his chest, Donghae cups his face between his two warm hands and Hyukjae shivers in delight. He rests his own hands atop of his and hums happily, relishing in their close proximity.

Donghae then a hot line along his lower lip, prompting him to gasp in surprise. Their tongues curl together for a brief instant before he’s already pulling back, and instead of sliding in again, he peppers soft kisses along the edge of his jawline. Hyukjae breathes out shakily and shivers once more when Donghae’s hands move up to his hair, pulling him close. His soulmate presses a long kiss on the side of his neck, muttering sweet nothings, and then wraps his arms around him into the warmest, nicest, most perfect hug Hyukjae has ever had.

For a moment, both their minds are silent.

 

 

 

Chapter Ten

 

 

Sooyoung squeals so loud that Hyukjae has to clamp a hand over to quieten her down. A few nurses glance curiously in their direction, while the only other doctor grunts in his sleep and turns around on the couch. Hyukjae throws a pointed glare at his best friend until she nods apologetically—not that she really means it, he knows—, and then lets her go reluctantly.

“You guys kissed?” Sooyoung exclaims again in a barely hushed voice. “Really? On the first date?”

Hyukjae sniffs moodily, adverting his eyes away. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he can hear Donghae snicker at his obvious discomfort. That makes him want to both cringe in embarrassment and laugh along. “Yes,” he retorts bravely, reaching for his white coat and putting it on. “What about it?”

“I didn’t know you were the type,” she muses thoughtfully as she ties her hair up into a pony tail. “And here I thought that you were still from the old school.”

Hyukjae reaches out to kick her shin but she’s swift enough to avoid it, a smug smirk spread across her pretty face. “Shut up,” he huffs with a frown. “Look, just because I’m a—”

“I don’t mean that,” Sooyoung rolls her eyes at him, although her tone softens significantly. She closes the door of her locker with a screech and leans a shoulder against it, observing him with sharp eyes as he pretends to be rummaging through his stuff. “I mean that even emotionally, you’re usually more… cautious than that. You like to follow those rules for romantic dates where you don’t get to kiss them on the first night, no matter how much you’d want to. I remember you waited almost a week before kissing Boa for the first time, right? Even though we all knew that you really liked her.”

There’s a pause, only broken by the snores of their sleeping colleague, before she rests an apologetic hand on Hyukjae’s arm. “It’s not a bad thing that you kissed him on the first date. I just wanted to tease you; I’m sorry if it offended you, Hyukjae.”

“No,” he sighs and gives her a small smile. “It’s okay.”

Sooyoung returns it and stays quiet for a blissful moment, until a mischievous gleam lights up in her eyes once again. “Now,” she giggles in excitement, prompting him to groan exasperatedly. “Tell me everything about your date! About Donghae! Where did you guys go? What about the flowers? Is he a good kisser? Who paid for dinner? Did you hold hands? Are you guys boyfriends now?!”

“Nope,” Hyukjae shakes his head resolutely. He straightens up and gathers his patient files for the day, then practically runs out of the staff room. “No ing way I’m telling you anything, you gossip!”

Who’s Boa then? Donghae asks as Hyukjae stops at the reception of the ward and greets Hyorin with a friendly grin. Boyfriend.

There’s a hint of jealousy that shadows his soulmate’s voice, prompting him to chuckle amusedly. She’s my ex-girlfriend.

Oh. A brief silence. Is she… is she your first match?

Nah, Hyukjae replies truthfully. She isn’t.

It’s only when Hyukjae is about to take in his first patient of the day—Mrs. Yoo, pregnant with her second child—that he hears Donghae’s voice in his mind again. Lunch today? his soulmate asks hopefully, as if he’d say no.

Hyukjae smiles, both at his patient and at Donghae. Of course. Boyfriend.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

It’s already way past lunchtime—around three o’clock in the afternoon—when Hyukjae finally shows up at the coffee shop, shivering from head to toe and fresh snow melting in his hair. Expression alert, he looks around the room for Donghae and then brightens up quickly when he finds him standing behind the counter. He wrings his hands together out of what Donghae guesses to be nervousness and walks up to him, a sheepish grin spread on his flushed face.

“Hello,” Hyukjae greets him while panting a little, as if he ran all the way from the hospital across the square. Before Donghae can utter a single sound in return, he leans over the counter and presses a quick kiss on the corners of his parted lips. “I’m so sorry I’m late, but there was an emergency at the ward; I had to stay longer to make sure everything was okay with my patients, and—”

“Hyukjae, it’s okay,” Donghae laughs reassuringly. He takes his apron off and throws it carelessly to Ryeowook, who sends him an exasperated look when it lands on his face, and then saunters around the counter to join him at the other side. “I heard you stressing out through your mind earlier. I thought I’d still wait for you so we can have lunch together!”

Hyukjae smiles down at him, thankful, and melts eagerly into his arms as soon as Donghae tugs him into a hug. “Thank you,” he mumbles against the skin of his neck, his lips cool. “You didn’t have to but… thank you.”

You’re welcome, Donghae says softly as he turns around to tell his coworker that he’ll be out for his lunchbreak. “So, what happened?” he continues aloud and grabs his coat. “Is everything okay at the hospital?”

“Oh, yes!” his soulmate nods happily, following him towards the doors. “Sorry if I worried you. One of my patients gave birth a few days earlier than expected. The baby is fine, though! His weight isn’t quite there yet but there shouldn’t be any further complications, I’ll make sure of it.” His tone sounds so fierce that Donghae smiles fondly at his determination. “The delivery took a long time, which is why I’m so late.” 

Donghae hums in understanding as they both walk out of the coffee shop and into the cold December weather. Shivering slightly, they reach out for each other’s hands without a second thought and then head down the snowy streets, in hopes of finding one last place that would sell them lunch at this hour of the day. After buying snacks and hot drinks successfully, Donghae decides to lead his soulmate a little further down to the lesser known part of their district.

“Where are we going?” Hyukjae asks curiously and looks around, sipping idly on his hot chocolate.

Well, remember that thing we talked about on Friday night? About me helping you to get a Christmas tree? Donghae says while reaching out to wipe his soulmate’s chin clean of the sweet drink that trickled down a little.

They stop at the end of the sidewalk and wait for the lights to turn green, stealing bites of each other’s food with mischievous grins and playful protests.

“We’re doing that now?” Hyukjae blinks bemusedly, eyes wide in surprise. Really?

“Yeah!” Donghae exclaims. “Why not? It’ll be fun!”

Hyukjae pursues his lips into a pensive pout and then takes another bite of his spicy rice cakes. “I should have brought my car, then. I don’t think I’m motivated enough to bring a tree all the way back to the hospital’s car park.”

Laughing at his reluctant expression, Donghae wraps an arm around his soulmate’s shoulders and drags him to the closest shop he finds that displays Christmas trees. They look rather small and scrawny, but he supposes that it’s already a good start. As Hyukjae wonders aloud about how such a small business can make enough profit by opening only once a year for winter—Donghae only hums along to prove he’s listening—, they’re soon hit by the strong scent of pine and wood.

Smells good, Donghae hears Hyukjae think distractedly as they get nearer. They look like the weakest kids of the Christmas tree family which got rejected when it was obvious they wouldn’t survive though.

Don’t think this so loud, Donghae admonishes him playfully. They might hear you and be sad.

“Well,” Hyukjae comments out loud, as if just to spite him. “Natural selection’s a , as they say.”

The owner of the shop sends them an unimpressed look from where he stands by the door and Donghae just bursts out laughing.

 

 

 

About an hour later, Hyukjae had bought a couple of Christmas decorations and a scrawny Christmas tree saved for him so that he could come back and buy it later that day. Donghae saw a few mistletoes in the bag and he can’t wait for the moment they’ll put them to good use. Judging by his soulmate’s cheeky smirk, he agrees with him wholeheartedly.

“It’s still so small,” Hyukjae comments again as he stares at the tree critically. “You would have died out there all alone, Tree. Be thankful I’m nice enough to buy you.”

Are you actually talking to the tree? Donghae laughs in disbelief. And here I thought you were supposed to be the rational one out of the two of us. “Maybe you can grow it up to be the strongest Christmas tree,” he says, playing along.

A dejected expression on his face, Hyukjae turns to him and sighs deeply. “There are some things that are just impossible to achieve, Donghae.”

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

When Hyukjae gets home that night, after struggling a good half an hour to bring the Christmas tree in—it was quite a hassle even in spite of the scrawniness—, he grabs a chair and goes back to the front door. Standing precariously on the piece of furniture, he hangs one of the mistletoes he bought just above it and then jumps down as soon as he’s satisfied.

“So what do you think?” he shifts around and asks the tree, which doesn’t bother to answer him.

I think you should stop talking to the tree and go to sleep, Donghae mumbles sleepily.

Don’t be so mean to Sermoline, he huffs in response as he goes back to his living-room.

There’s a silence, before his soulmate chuckles in disbelief. Did you actually name your Christmas tree after a medicine for growth hormones?

Hyukjae pats his small, still- tree and smiles in amusement. It’s to give him hope.

I thought there wasn’t any chance?

That night, Hyukjae goes back to bed to the sounds of his soulmate laughing cheerfully in his mind. And he loves it.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

There are tinsel fabrics and fairy lights and sparkly ornaments bouncing everywhere on the snowy ground. The two soulmates can’t feel the cold, however; it’s warm and cozy around them, as though they’re standing right next to a lit-up fireplace. Giant pine trees surround them, rising so high up in the sky—has it always been that purple?—that it’s impossible to see their tops. Hyukjae, or maybe is it Donghae, they can’t be sure, steps on one of the round ornaments and feels it break under the sole of his bare feet. He grimaces, whoever he really is, but oddly enough, there’s no pain.

There’s no time to contemplate that fact. Not much, anyway. Somewhere, someone shouts about regular uterine contractions while asking for a cup of Caramel Macchiato with a double-shot of expresso and soya milk. Hyukjae—they’re pretty sure it’s Hyukjae—shouts back that they shouldn’t drink coffee at all during childbirth, and that he’s too busy anyway, he needs to decorate his Christmas tree with Donghae. Donghae says there’s no soya milk in the fridge anymore—Ryeowook forgot to buy it.

“What Christmas tree?” the someone frowns at them. They can’t see their face but something tells them they’re frowning. “There’s no Christmas tree around us.”

It’s Donghae’s turn to frown. He looks around them and gasps in surprise when he finds himself in Hyukjae’s house. It looks just like his own, he muses in wonder, and before he can realize it, he’s lying across the couch with his soulmate in his arms.

“Hi,” Hyukjae whispers and leans over to kiss him.

The stranger with contractions is gone, leaving the both of them alone in the warmth of the dark apartment. Hyukjae believes it’s Donghae’s, even though it looks exactly like his. He doesn’t say a word about it and scoots closer, until they’re pressed flush against each other. Donghae’s shoulders are broad and strong around him, and his chest is warm, and the cuddling feels wonderful.

It feels good, Donghae and Hyukjae think together, and the words echo loudly in the apartment.

They don’t know what sort of pleasure it is, but they both know there’s pleasure everywhere. Hyukjae thinks it’s from the way Donghae hugs him tight, and Donghae thinks it’s from the way Hyukjae slides across his body with every slight move. Hyukjae soaks excitedly in the physical contact and feels contented with just that, while Donghae wonders if he can ask for more, feel more, have more.

Hyukjae, Donghae starts. He slides a hand down Hyukjae’s back, reaching down for his to knead it, and feels tingles of arousal flare up within him.

Donghae, Hyukjae continues. He snuggles closer into him and feels the tingles too, feels the way fingers him curiously, but it’s easier for him to ignore them a while longer.

I think I—

There’s a muffled thud, and then the sound of something bouncing off the carpet. Something fell on the floor. Donghae opens his eyes abruptly in the darkness, his heart thudding in his chest and his whole body tingling. He knows it’s from arousal and remnants of his dreams are already fading from his mind, and he just knows that his is aching in the confinements of his sweatpants.

Donghae can feel a bit of Hyukjae’s own arousal through the mental link on top of his own, but subtly less intense than the one he feels. Aware it means that his soulmate is awake, he doesn’t dare to put a hand on himself, no matter how badly he wants to. He’s certain that Hyukjae would be able to feel his emotions and guess what he is up to.

Donghae? he hears in his head then, and this time it feels so real that he almost startles in surprise.

His stomach clenching painfully, Donghae seats up slowly and looks around for his phone. It’s on the floor. It’s almost three o’clock in the morning when he checks, and the sun won’t rise any time soon.

Yes? he replies softly, clearing his throat awkwardly.

Was… that my dream or yours?

I—yours, Donghae says immediately, although he isn’t too sure either.

There’s a brief silence in Hyukjae’s thoughts, before he makes a skeptical sound. I don’t think it was, he reasons cautiously. I mean, I’m not the kind who would—… A pause. Maybe… maybe it’s a dream that we both made up?

Donghae opens his mouth to deny it out loud, but then stops. Oh, that… makes sense. What makes you think so, though?

Sounding sleepy, Hyukjae chuckles warmly in his mind. I think it’s because our mental link opened up on more levels—probably emotional ones; it’s so relaxed that our subconscious still communicate when we’re asleep, hence the dream.

And no offense, Donghae, but I don’t dream about you groping my often. I probably played a huge part in the cuddling, though. That was nice. I love cuddling.

“I didn’t you!” Donghae shouts too loudly. “I didn’t!” And I love cuddling too! Why do we have to automatically assume that I’m the erted one?

I’ll tell you next time, okay? his soulmate says softly, almost hesitantly. Then, with a lighter tone, he adds, Well, I think that means we’ll need to learn and block our thoughts better, then. That’d be a good thing, actually; it’ll help me not to get distracted at work.

Donghae nods wordlessly, but knows that his emotions are carried over by his thoughts. Hyukjae? he calls softly.

Yes? Hyukjae replies distractedly, and Donghae hears the words cold shower echo in his mind for a brief moment.

I—… A hesitant pause, before he shrugs and decides he can ask him later. A cold shower does sound good right now. Nothing. Goodnight, Hyukjae.

Goodnight, Donghae. Sweet dreams.  

 

      

 

Chapter Eleven

 

 

 

Hyukjae proposes to decorate Sermoline The Christmas Tree on the following Saturday, inviting his soulmate over for dinner. Mind buzzing with excitement, Donghae accepts happily and tells him he’ll be there as soon as possible. Which might be around five or six, if that’s okay with you, he tells him pensively. I’d like to go home and take a shower first. And possibly get a change of clothes. Hyukjae replies that he doesn’t need to and that he doesn’t mind, not at all, but Donghae insists and he can only smile at his adorable stubbornness.

Saturday afternoon comes around quickly enough, and thanks to a day-off he managed to threaten out of Siwon, Hyukjae is proud to say he spent all morning cleaning his apartment. The result isn’t much different from what it was originally—he’s quite adamant about keeping his environment as clean as possible—, but he’s still immensely satisfied with himself. Sighing deeply, he flops down onto his couch and stretches his arms over his head. A quick glance at the wall-clock tells him that it’s already half past five o’clock. He hums to himself and rolls his sore shoulder—wiping windows is more dangerous than it seems—, then glances down at his clothes to make sure he didn’t ruin them since he put them on earlier.

You didn’t need to do that, you know? Donghae pipes up then, startling him out of his thoughts. I’m sorry you had to do all this just for me.

Hyukjae laughs, shaking his head in amusement. It’s fine, really, he reassures him. I would have cleaned the house anyway. Plus, I like it when I look nice.

I’m sure you look amazing then, Donghae chuckles with a mischievous tone and Hyukjae can almost imagine him wriggling his eyebrows playfully.

Keep those compliments coming and I might be persuaded to make some tea before you come over, Hyukjae snickers.

A dramatic gasp reaches his ears. Temptation! You know how to talk to a man, don’t you? Please make it black tea, oh flawless and gorgeous soulmate of mine! Your magnificence blinds me! You’re perfection! A miracle of beauty! The cutest cupcake I’ve ever seen!

By then, Hyukjae is laughing so hard he’s started to tear up in the middle of his couch. You earned yourself a cookie for that. Fear not, he declares solemnly as he stands up and heads for the kitchen, it’s an industrial packet that I bought in a cheap supermarket. I wouldn’t dare to give you something I baked myself. You might die—I do not want that.

He chuckles again when he hears a small ‘yeah, me neither, that’s for sure’, before adding nonchalantly, By the way, nice try blocking your thoughts about the yogurt cake. You were almost there.

There’s a whine that reaches his mind, soon followed by a moody huff. Donghae grumbles incoherently and seems reluctant to speak up for a moment, embarrassment flooding through. How did you know? he finally demands to know, a pout obvious in his voice. I thought I’d done a good job at hiding that thought!

Hyukjae smiles indulgently as he reaches out for a kettle and pours water in it. Actually, I didn’t hear a thing about cakes or anything. It’s when you started wondering if you should put it in a big or small box that I just guessed what it was about.

Silence answers him at him, and then, a disgruntled, damn.

 

 

 

There’s a knock at the door about ten minutes after Hyukjae finished brewing the hot drink. Tilting his head up, he wipes a drop of tea that fell on the counter, and then goes to open the door with his heart pounding rhythmically in his chest. Sure enough, Donghae is standing at the other side, smiling happily and carrying a white box in his right hand.

“Hi,” he greets him brightly. Hyukjae, he murmurs distractedly. Soulmate—my Hyukjae.

Yes, soulmate—Donghae. Grinning back, Hyukjae tugs him inside and presses a long kiss on his lips as soon as Donghae goes past the doorframe. The latter releases a surprised sound but kisses him back eagerly, leaning forward until their chests are pressed flush together. The two men sigh in unison, mouths brushing one upon another. Soon enough, they find themselves only hugging each other and swaying back and forth, the door still wide open.

“Hi,” Hyukjae mutters softly. When Donghae tries to lean over and kiss him again, he stops him with a cheeky smirk. “Look up,” he says. “Mistletoe.”

And then he runs back inside, embarrassed, and leaving his soulmate to stare up at the ceiling in confusion.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

“I think maybe the red tinsel looks better than this one. Or maybe the blue one? Blue looks pretty.”

It’s about halfway through wrestling with the tinsel fabrics which got tangled up in their box that Donghae looks up over at his soulmate. Perched on the armrest of the couch, Hyukjae idly watches the progress of the decorating while steadily munching his way through an entire packet of cookies. The one that he promised Donghae earlier, the latter notes mournfully.

Hyukjae then gives him a winning smile when Donghae narrows his eyes at him, and sways his legs back and forth, perfect picture of innocence.

“Maybe you could get up and help me,” Donghae shakes his head, feigning exasperation while all he can really muster is warm affection. “You know, like you said you would? Actually, I’m supposed to be the one helping but here I am, doing all the work.”

“I wouldn’t want to bother you,” Hyukjae says solemnly, as if it pains him deep inside not to partake in the activity. “You look like you’re enjoying yourself way too much. Who am I to ruin your fun?”

You’re just being lazy, Donghae retorts with a snort.

Another smug smirk is sent in his direction while his soulmate tries to blindly grab the last cookie of the packet. That I am. “Are you almost done yet?” Hyukjae asks him and eyes the sparkly yellow star that’s been put aside when Donghae looks for it. “Can I be the one who puts it on?”

“Yeah, of course,” he laughs. “I mean, it’s your tree after all.”

A smile spread on his plump lips, Hyukjae jumps up on his feet and picks up the item, then walks over to fit it on top of his Christmas tree. He tries to make sure it’s standing somewhat upright and gives it a critical look when it still stays a little tilted, but then shrugs and nods in satisfaction.

“We did a good job,” he declares and rests his hands on his hips. Good on you, Sermoline. Don’t you look all pretty and nice now? “Right?”

Shaking his head in amused disbelief, Donghae drags him back to the couch and ushers him to sit down next to him. “Yeah, sure,” he rolls his eyes. “We did. It’s not like you were sitting down the whole time and waiting for me to finish the biggest part.” Whatever you say.

Hyukjae giggles and brings Donghae’s arm around his shoulders, holding onto his hand with both of his own. “I’m glad you agree with me, then.”

His soulmate tries vaguely to add something else—probably another witty remark—, but Donghae cuts him off by leaning over and kissing him. It’s soft and innocent at first, like a teasing way to shush him, then grows quickly in intensity when he shifts closer to Hyukjae.

The latter shivers when Donghae a hot line along the seam of his closed mouth and welcomes him inside with a hum, tilting his head to the side to kiss him better. Contentment fills Hyukjae’s mind in peaceful waves, slow and warm, and Donghae takes it as an encouraging sign.

Slowly, Donghae dares to push Hyukjae backwards until he’s lying on top of him on the couch. Arousal is building fast in his chest, like fireworks that never die out, and is reaching down to his crotch already. The feeling of Hyukjae against him and the small sounds of pleasure he releases against his lips are enough to drive him crazy. His hands start to wander down Hyukjae’s body curiously, cupping the curves of his narrow waist before daring to go any further.

Donghae, Hyukjae murmurs wordlessly.

He sounds neither reluctant or willing, although something in his tone tells Donghae that maybe he should slow down a bit.

“Yes?” he replies out loud, his hands staying put. “Is this okay?"

“What? Oh yeah,” Hyukjae nods, pecking the corners of his lips in reassurance. “It’s just that—…” Do you remember that night we shared that dream?

Donghae nods, locking his lips on the edge of his soulmate’s jaw yet still not moving. Yes, he repeats. I do.

Nibbling onto his lower lip, Hyukjae gently pushes him off and straightens up until they’re both sitting properly on the couch again. Donghae tugs him closer without a second thought and wraps his arm back around his soulmate’s shoulders, then reaches out hopefully with his fingers. Hyukjae immediately takes his hand again, threading their fingers together.

“I think we should talk about this before we do anything else than just, you know, kissing and hugging and things,” Hyukjae says then. “It’s kind of important. To me. And to you, too, I hope.”

“Oh, yes, of course!” Donghae exclaims with wide eyes. “I’m sorry, did I—… I mean, I didn’t do anything to put you off, right?”

Smiling faintly, Hyukjae shakes his head. “No, don’t worry. I’d tell you if you did. It’s just that…” He stops and then sighs quietly, frowning. No matter how many times I have to say this, it’s still just as awkward. Still holding onto Donghae, he fiddles with his back ring and readjusts it on the middle finger of his left hand. “Look, actually, I’m—… well, to make it short, I’m aual.”

Donghae blinks, surprised. He tilts his head to the side, trying to connect the word to its exact definition, and hums pensively. “Really?” he says. “Auality is when you don’t feel ual attraction to other people, right? I didn’t know you were.”

“Yeah, that’s about it. And I didn’t really expect you to guess it, anyway,” Hyukjae laughs, his voice sounding a bit tight. He stiffens in his arms, tightens his hold around his hand, frowns harder. There’s a hint of fear that flashes across his sharp features, and Donghae feels his heart ache painfully when he realizes it’s because he’s scared of his reaction.

“Actually,” Hyukjae continues with the serious, scientific voice he always uses when he’s feeling nervous. “To be perfectly accurate, I’m probably more grey-aual than strictly aual since I do feel ual attraction sometimes. But that happens so rarely and it’s usually so weak that I still don’t define myself as alloual. I just… don’t really feel the need or want to have . With anyone in general—not just you.”

Hyukjae pauses, considering. “I’d be fine with having with you, though. The idea isn’t one that repulses me. You’re someone I care a lot for and I think it’s a nice way to show affection. It can be great sometimes and I happen to enjoy it from time to time—but I probably won’t be the one who initiates anything ual in general. We’d just need to­­—compromise.”

Tilting his head to the side, Donghae blinks at his soulmate once again. “Yeah, okay.”

“No, you don’t understand, I—what?” Hyukjae stares at him with a confused expression. “Wait, that’s it?”

“Well, yeah? That’s it. What did you expect?” Donghae laughs. He leans over and pecks the tip of his nose sweetly, smiling. “I’m fine with everything you said. There’s no reason I wouldn’t be. Hell, I wouldn’t have minded even if you’d told me that you didn’t want to have with me at all, Hyukjae. I’m not in this relationship for the , and I don’t expect anything like that from you. Just—I’d never push you to do anything that you didn’t want to, okay? We can take our time, and that for as long as you want! You can tell me the things you want and the ones you don’t, and I’ll tell you mine as well.”

Biting onto his lower lip, Donghae raises a hand to cup his soulmate’s cheek. He craves to erase the uncertainty he sees in his single-lidded eyes, wishes to make him forget all about it. At this moment, something within Donghae tells him that he finally knows the reason why Hyukjae didn’t get along well with his match. Something that screams discrimination. The pained thoughts that Hyukjae’s mind sends him is enough of an answer for him to realize that he’s right—at least on a certain level.

“Your uality doesn’t change anything, Hyukjae—I promise. I really, really like you—and maybe even more. If you’re willing to have with me sometimes, then that’s awesome! But if you’re not, then okay, never mind! It might not seem like it, but I have a very close relationship with my right hand, you know? With my left one, too, but there’s still a long way to go.”

For a moment, Hyukjae’s mind sounds so stunned and blank that Donghae frowns, worried.

“You—…” his soulmate starts. You’re… amazing. That’s the word—amazing. Really. I don’t know how you even exist.

I could say the same about you, Donghae laughs happily as Hyukjae cuddles closer into his arms. Even if you’re a lazy who left me alone to decorate Sermoline The Christmas Tree.

Smiling brightly, Hyukjae kisses him hard on the mouth and cleverly ignores his last comment.

 

 

 

“Let’s have dinner,” Hyukjae exclaims excitedly a while later. “It’s almost eight o’clock; I’m starving.”

Drowsy from their long hour of blissful cuddling, Donghae blinks and hides a yawn behind his hand. “Yeah, sure,” he mumbles and stretches his back with a groan. “What do you have?”

Hyukjae laughs and takes out his phone, while opening one of the small drawers of his fancy coffee table. Then, with a smug smirk, he displays at least fifty take-away menus on it in front of them. “I have these.”

Throwing him an enticing smile, he adds, “I think I want Thai tonight. Or maybe Vietnamese.”

Silence stretches briefly between them as Donghae stares at him.

“…Hyukjae.”

“What?” the other man retorts with an innocent expression. “You don’t like pad-thai? Or pho?”

Sighing loudly, Donghae can only shake his head in disbelief.

 

 

 

Chapter Twelve

 

 

 

The two first days of the following week are a proper disaster—never mind the fact that it’s almost Christmas. Apparently, disasters don’t care about forthcoming holidays. As a result of a major catastrophe that occurred near the busiest district of the center of Seoul, injured patients have been flooding in the hospital for hours. And it seems like it’ll never stop. Although he’s an obstetrician by formation, Hyukjae was also summoned to the emergency ward to help with the rush, along with a few other colleagues from different departments. He’s been mostly helping the nurses with the more minor injuries and redirecting the serious ones to the right professionals, all the while trying to keep an eye on his own patients up at the maternity ward. Fortunately, Siwon has been taking care of almost everything there and has promised to tell him if anything happened.

It’s a little over forty-eight hours, but Hyukjae still hasn’t had more than few hours to sleep. Coffee is the only thing that still keeps him awake and alert. Slumping down in the nearest chair he finds, he sits so low in it that his almost slides off and then allows himself to groan aloud. He grimaces good-naturedly when a nurse of the ER gives him a sympathetic smile before rushing back to her own task, looking just as exhausted as he is and maybe even more.

Donghae? Hyukjae calls as he opens his mind link tentatively, feeling whiny.

The two soulmates still don’t have a complete, perfect control over their link, but it’s been getting better—much to their satisfaction. Building metaphorical walls around their minds is a terribly hard task to learn and yet is more than worth the trouble, they both know.

If he focuses hard and long enough, Hyukjae almost won’t hear anything of Donghae’s thoughts anymore. It’s rather tiring and his brain would feel like someone trampled over it all day long, but he knows it’s promising progress.

Yes? Donghae answers softly. Hi. Is everything okay?

Hyukjae sniffs petulantly, glancing around the lesser busy room of the emergency ward. He sees one of the nurses he doesn’t get along with sending him a sharp look, which he ignores dutifully, and sighs in relief when he realizes he won’t be needed in the immediate future. The flood of patients calmed down an hour or two ago and there’s definitely still a lot of work to do, but he knows that he deserves to take a small break at this point. He wouldn’t be of much help if he fainted in the middle of a consultation, anyway. No, he mumbles half-sincerely, half-whiningly. Can you come over? The head of the ER practically ordered me to take a break. I want to cuddle.

Chuckling, Donghae hums comfortingly. He sounds soft and careful, as if he knows how to soothe Hyukjae’s pounding headache. Yeah, of course. I’ll be there in a few. Are you back in your ward?

No, he replies with a shake of the head. Still in the emergency department. Ground floor. Turn left when you’re in the hospital and then go straight.

Got it.

A wave of warm fondness reaches Hyukjae’s mind from his soulmate, and then there’s silence. Blissful silence, in which he relishes readily.

It’s only about ten minutes later that Donghae finally steps inside the ward, looking a little lost in the unfamiliar place until he finds him, and then walks over to him with a soft smile. Whining aloud yet once again, Hyukjae stands up on unsteady feet and rushes to him. Without a word, Donghae opens his arms and welcomes him into a tight hug, whispering sweet nothings in his ears.

Hyukjae hums happily and buries his face into the crook of his neck, inhaling strong coffee undertones as he soaks in their physical proximity. Donghae, he thinks mindlessly. Donghae—soulmate. Donghae, Donghae, Donghae.

“Well, well,” the mean nurse scoffs sarcastically and eyes them as he walks by. “You look quite clingy for someone who claims to be aual, Doctor Lee.”

Hyukjae stiffens, thrown. He straightens up and opens his mouth to retort furiously, but Donghae beats him to it.

“Yes, well,” his soulmate grits dangerously through his teeth. “You’re talking quite a lot, for someone who’s supposed to be busy working.” Then, with a last hard glare, he spits, “Go away and leave my soulmate alone.”

Spluttering, the nurse huffs and walks away briskly. A wide smile spreads on Hyukjae’s lips as he watches the man disappear in another room. He leans over and shares a sweet kiss with Donghae, who signs in contentment. My hero, he snickers.

“Sorry about that,” Donghae mutters. “I don’t know if I was supposed to say anything, but he… he was being rude.”

“I know,” Hyukjae shrugs. “He is—has always been, not just to me. I think he heard me talk about it with Siwon once, and apparently, he’s one of those guys who think I can’t be a good soulmate and match if I don’t feel ual attraction like a ‘normal person’. He’s not been very pleasant since then—not that he was in the first place.”

A frown creasing his forehead, Donghae leans over and gives him a firm kiss. Hyukjae—soulmate, he murmurs distractedly. Do you want to move somewhere else? You sound stressed and you said you wanted to cuddle.

Yes, he nods with an unconscious pout. Please. To the maternity ward? Stay with me?

“Yeah,” Donghae whispers into his mouth. “Of course. Whatever you want, Hyukjae.” I’ll stay with you for as long as you want me.

Hyukjae smiles and then leans in to kiss the soft skin under Donghae’s eyes, pecks the side of his nose, presses his lips over his temples. He loves the sound of that—he does very much.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Settled on the couch of the empty staff room, Donghae shifts a little more comfortably on the cushions and tightens his hold around his soulmate, who is lying on top of him. As he makes sure that they’re not about to fall off, he idly runs his fingers through Hyukjae’s hair and then smiles when the latter blinks sleepily.

Keep doing that, Hyukjae mumbles. It feels good.

Sure. “Can I ask you a question?” Donghae asks him, eyes hopeful. “Since you kind of like me and everything?”

His soulmate grunts under his breath and snuggles closer into his arms, unwilling to move back an inch. “What do you want?” he whines petulantly. “I’m sleepy.”

Smiling, Donghae continues to gently his hair and leans down to press a kiss on his forehead. “Do you remember when you said you would be okay with having with me someday? This might sound really stupid, and I’m very sorry if that offends you, but… I mean—” I—… you know?

Silence answers him at first, followed by a pensive sound that doesn’t seem neither upset or anything of the contrary. It’s just weary, like it’s something he’s already talked about millions of times. Like something rehearsed. Hyukjae fiddles distractedly with his black ring, worn on the middle finger of his left hand, and contemplates it for a moment. “Well, yes,” Hyukjae sighs. “It’s not because I don’t experience ual attraction like most people do that I can’t be aroused, you know? Usually, just the thought of having or the actions that go with it are enough to get me physically aroused. That’s the whole point of , isn’t it?” Hyukjae shrugs, smiling as Donghae nods seriously. “The only difference is that when I see someone that I find attractive, I’ll be all about hugging them rather than… I don’t know, banging them into the nearest mattress?”

Donghae laughs at that and then gives him an appealing look, his eyebrows raised playfully. “Do you want to give me a hug, then?” You did say that I had broad shoulders after all.

“I want to kick you out of the ward because I need to go back to work in fifteen minutes,” Hyukjae retorts with a laugh of his own. You’re not Daniel Craig but you’re okay, he adds playfully.  

Then, as they finally bring themselves to stand up, Hyukjae tugs him into a tight hug and sighs into his neck. “Of course I do want to hug you, silly,” he mumbles contently as Donghae smiles and kisses the shell of his ear. “You feel warm.”

“Yeah. That’s probably because the heater’s on, though,” Donghae retorts seriously.

Half-exasperated and half-amused—he looks torn between the two—, his soulmate playfully punches his shoulder and kicks his . “Get out,” he laughs again. “You’re annoying me.”

Feeling any better? Donghae asks a last time as he heads towards the doors. I’ll keep my end of the link open if you need anything.

Rubbing a sore point of his neck, Hyukjae sends him a weary but positive grin. Yes. Thank you, Donghae.

He smiles back. You’re welcome. There are three other little words he’d like to add, but somehow, he thinks it can wait a while longer. From the indulgent look Hyukjae gives him, it seems like he agrees.

 

 

 

“You know, hyung,” Ryeowook comments airily as Donghae continues to ramble about his soulmate later that night. The coffee shop is mostly empty besides a small group of quiet teenagers, which allows them some time to relax before closing time. “You’re very whipped for that Hyukjae guy. Though that’s not really surprising, actually.” Turning to his match, he asks Yesung, “Don’t you agree with me?”

“Yeah,” the latter snorts while angling his phone up to take another picture of himself. “I’d find it annoying if I actually listened to a word he said at all.”

Scoffing indignantly, Donghae folds his arms on his chest and glares at them. “I’m actually here, you know,” he grumbles halfheartedly. “Go on and make fun of me, you two. You weren’t any better when you first met each other anyway; I had to listen to your dramatic wailings for days onwards. It was terrible.”

“It was nice,” Ryeowook corrects him with a nostalgic grin. “Stop lying, hyung. You were just as excited about our Matching as I was, you big romantic.”

Yesung laughs and finally decides to put his phone down, taking part in the conversation only to make fun of Donghae. “Oh, yeah, I remember,” he snickers. “You were so… enthusiastic about us. It was hilarious.”

“Shut the hell up, both of you,” Donghae huffs. “At least I was being supportive. I can’t say the same about you, apparently.”

An amused smile still playing on his lips, Ryeowook laughs just as Sungmin walks out of the kitchens and goes to slump down in a chair next to them.

“Oh, don’t be so dramatic, hyung,” the youngest rolls his eyes. “Of course we’re supportive of you. We’re just… trying not to drown in the romance, you know? There needs to be a sane one.”

It only takes a few seconds for Sungmin to catch up, laughing. “Are we making fun of Donghae and his boyfriend again?” he asks, prompting both Ryeowook and Yesung to join in. “You’re so whipped for him that it’s actually hilarious.”

Ignoring Yesung’s comment of ‘yeah, that’s what we said’, Donghae decides to try and change the subject. “Where’s Saeun-noona? Is she coming over soon?”

“Oh, yeah,” Sungmin widens his eyes excitedly for a second as he takes his phone out, texting his wife. “Saeun would hate me if she knew I was making fun of you without her to join in.”

Sungmin is one of the few people who’s in a relationship with someone that is neither his soulmate or even his match. And yet, it still looks like they were made just for each other. “Maybe we are,” they would always joke, “but not in the way fate anticipated.” As far as Donghae knows, they both made other connections in the past which didn’t work out romantically, before meeting each other. They dated for a while, thinking nothing serious about it at first, and then decided that even if the whole world thought differently, they were still in love with each other and wanted no-one else.

“I don’t even know why I still bother,” Donghae sighs. “Bunch of bullies. All of you.”

Glancing around the coffee shop to make sure everything’s okay, Ryeowook pinches his arm and rolls his eyes at him. “Stop it, hyung. We’re all very happy for you, you know that. He seems like an awesome guy, really.”

“He must be, if Ryeowook says so,” Sungmin nods and shrugs, as he hasn’t gotten the chance to meet Hyukjae yet. “How’s your Sharing? Are the thoughts very loud? They were with Sunkyu—still are sometimes when she can’t shut up. I love her but damn, she’s so noisy when she’s drunk.”

Donghae laughs and shakes his head in disbelief, amused by the fond yet exasperated grimace that flashes across Sungmin’s face whenever he mentions his match in friendliness. “They’re fine! They still get out of hand sometimes but we’re learning to control them. We’ve already shared a few dreams, too.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Sungmin whistles in admiration as their two other friends hum with the same tone. “I’ve never shared dreams with Sunkyu or even Kyuhyun. Must be a funny experience.”

“It is,” Yesung answers honestly. “I watched some documentaries that say it’s one of the final stages of a mental link. Something about it reaching its strongest point, and subconscious and things.”

“Do you think,” Ryeowook starts after a moment, looking thoughtful. “Do you think you’re in love with him? With Hyukjae-hyung? I can’t really relate because Yesung-hyung and I got together very quickly, even before the Sharing strengthened. While it’s been a little over a month for you already, and that’s very long. At least for two persons who made a connection, you know?”

“I—” Donghae gulps, suddenly feeling a little overwhelmed as he makes sure that Hyukjae’s mind is quiet and closed. “I think—… I think I’m getting there. He makes it—so easy. We still want to keep it slow but honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if I woke up tomorrow and realized I was already head over heels for him. He doesn’t feel only like my soulmate but, like, my soulmate. Like the one. Do you know what I mean?”

Ryeowook giggles behind his hand and even Yesung spares him a smile, just as Sungmin chuckles softly. “Yeah,” the latter mumbles. “I think I do.”

“Still, you should be careful about that,” Yesung then pipes up, effectively breaking the moment into pieces. “The thoughts, I mean. I remember I thought I got the link under control and then I started , and it was terrible. Trust me, link closed or not, they still hear everything when it comes to that. I suppose it’s because pleasure is too strong of an emotion? It breaks through, you know?”

“What?!” Donghae splutters too loudly, torn between wanting to scream that he does not want to hear that and the second-hand embarrassment that flares in him at the sight of Ryeowook blushing furiously.

“Oh, yeah,” Sungmin chuckles casually. “I know a thing or two about that. Kyuhyun and Sunkyu heard me more times than I can be comfortable with. They might be my best friends but I’m pretty sure that’s not something they were happy to listen to.”

“Guys, can’t you be serious just for one minute?” Ryeowook frowns at them, amused and exasperated. “He was trying to be meaningful.”

Releasing a dramatic wail, Donghae lets his forehead drop on the table between them and decides to feign his death. He just hopes that his end of the link is well-closed and that Hyukjae is too busy to pay attention to him, because the thoughts that are stumbling one upon another in his mind aren’t quite ones he’s ready to share with his soulmate. They’re all about how much he likes Hyukjae, how much his feelings are close to love already, and how much he wishes he could be with him right now—and that’s embarrassing.

 

 

 

Chapter Thirteen

 

 

 

Hyukjae is glaring so hard at the recipe he has in hands that Donghae has to wonder how it still hasn’t scrammed under the nearest table.

It’s Wednesday just before Christmas Eve, and since they agreed that they’d rather spend the next two days of celebration with their families instead, Donghae decided to invite Hyukjae over at his apartment on the 23^rd to compensate. Although they both know that most soulmates and matches would already have met families and moved in together by now, the two men want to enjoy the slower pace of their relationship and take the time to think about it. They’re more than just happy to be each other’s soulmates, of course, but they’re also adamant not to let it grow into something pressuring and stressful either.

“I like this,” Hyukjae confessed earlier. “I like what we have—I like that you don’t take me for granted and that we’re taking our time, but not too much either, and... I just—…” I—…

Yeah, Donghae smiled tenderly in response. Me too, Hyukjae. Me too.

‘I love you’ hasn’t been said yet—but they both know it’s getting close. The urge to rush it is the last thing in their minds, however.

On the other hand, the ideal plan of the day would be to bake some cakes and have fun together. Except that judging from the way Hyukjae is already being difficult about it, although they haven’t even started yet, Donghae guesses easily that it’s going to be a long day. And, honestly, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I… don’t understand,” Hyukjae repeats once again. “I don’t get it, really. This is not precise at all. What is ‘cut the pears in small cubes, but neither too big or too small’ supposed to mean? They say small, and then they say not too small, and then what? What is this supposed to mean? How big are they supposed to be? Is it even going to change anything to the taste or the texture of the cake? Big or not, pears are still pears, right? Or is the size of those cubes going to, like, maybe influence how they’ll be cooked in the cake? I know that smaller cubes would cook faster than bigger ones, but if that was really important, then shouldn’t they tell us?”

Hyukjae whips around to ask for Donghae’s opinion, eyes wide and serious and adorable. “Right?”

“Yeah,” Donghae clears his throat, trying hard to hold back on his laughter. “I mean… sure?”

Apparently satisfied with his positive answer, as doubtful as it was, Hyukjae nods and then continues to rant almost immediately. “So, what is it exactly? Is it one centimeter big? Or two? Three? How do I know?”

“Just go with what you think would be the best, Hyukjae,” Donghae chuckles. “Probably between one and half centimeter and two? You know, so it’s not too big in your mouth but you can still feel the texture when you bite into the cake. Something like that.”

Huffing, Hyukjae eyes the recipe and glares at the pears on the counter. “As I said, this recipe isn’t precise at all. I thought baking had to be precise.”

“It is,” Donghae snickers. Honestly, he’s ready to give his soulmate all of the most imprecise recipes in the world, if it means he’ll act that adorably each time. “Just not about how to cut fruits, I guess. Come on, Hyukjae, you’ll do fine. We don’t even start with cutting the pears, anyway.”

Then, as he takes the flour and the eggs out, he calls distractedly, “Grab a bowl in that cupboard, would you? We’ll prepare the batter first.”

Hyukjae lets out a long-suffering sigh and obliges in the end, but not after reaching out with one hand to pinch Donghae as he walks past him. The latter yelps and startles, dropping a bit of flour everywhere, before he rubs the mild sting with a pout.

Jerk, Donghae grumbles.

Only for you, lovely soulmate of mine, Hyukjae snickers back. So which bowl am I supposed to take? There’re at least five sorts in there. Be more precise, Donghae.

 

 

 

About twenty minutes later—Hyukjae’s cake preparation was supposed to take only ten—, Donghae looks up and chuckles at his soulmate. Hyukjae’s nose is scrunched up cutely, while his hands are covered in flour and still busy manhandling the bowl of batter. Somehow, Donghae fails to understand how one of the easiest recipes in the world turned out into this.

“What’s up?” he asks as his soulmate keeps on twitching the tip of his nose.

“It itches,” Hyukjae whines. “But my hands are all dirty and I don’t want to smear some on my face. Not like a certain someone,” he adds afterwards, sending an amused look at the streak of flour that spreads across Donghae’s right cheek. “You look ridiculous.”

Chuckling still, Donghae walks over and stops next to Hyukjae. But instead of scratching the spot for him, he leans down and pecks the tip of his soulmate’s nose. Hyukjae releases a surprised sound but sighs happily, then nudges him until they can fit their lips together into a sweet kiss. Donghae’s eyes flutter shut as he lets his mouth linger over his own, relishes in his soulmate’s warmth, and then pulls back slightly to pepper his face with butterfly kisses.

“I said it itched, not that I wanted a kiss, silly,” Hyukjae laughs a little just as he pecks the corners of his lips again.

“Magic kiss!” Donghae retorts mischievously.

Hyukjae’s right eyebrow twitches in amusement. “Well, technically,” he starts innocently. “Magic doesn’t exist, as a lot of studies and experiences have proved, and—”

Donghae lets out a laugh and rolls his eyes, pushing him on the shoulder playfully. “Oh, shut up, Hyukjae.”

 

 

 

“So how long am I supposed to bake this?” Hyukjae asks as he points to his baking pan.

Donghae gives him a sweet grin. “Until it smells yummy and looks golden-brown.”

“…You must be kidding me.”

Donghae is very glad that he finally mastered the art of silencing his thoughts, because yes—yes, he definitely is.

 

 

 

*

 

 

As a result of finishing two successful batches of Christmas cupcakes and nearly ruining the yogurt cake with pears, Hyukjae feels properly drained. He releases an incoherent sound from the back of his throat, something like a mix between a groan and a whine, and then throws himself across the couch in the living-room. As he reaches for one of the cushions, he turns around heavily and lies onto his stomach.

Behind him, he hears Donghae chuckle at his dramatic outburst and walk over, before a heavy weight then drapes itself over his back. Hyukjae yelps and then whines, trying to push him off halfheartedly and keep him close all at the same time.

You’re heavy, Hyukjae complains sulkily, too lazy to voice out actual words.

“Yes, well,” Donghae drawls his retort. You’re the one who’s hogging the whole couch so it’s only fair.

After Hyukjae deems his argument to be reasonable enough, he grabs around for Donghae’s arms and wraps them demandingly around his shoulders. His soulmate complies and rolls them over onto their side, until his own back is fitted into the couch and Hyukjae is pressed against his chest. Satisfied with their new position, Hyukjae shifts slightly and smiles when Donghae curls himself more firmly around his back. A soft kiss is pressed on the sensitive skin of his neck, prompting a faint shiver to start at the bottom of his spine, while strong arms sneak around his waist. Hyukjae puts his own hand over Donghae’s and absently traces random patterns on his exposed skin—reaching up all the way to his elbow and then down, and then a little bit higher still.

When slight drowsiness starts to blend in with the beginning of his easily-ignored arousal, Hyukjae wriggles around until he’s facing his soulmate. Rubbing the tips of their nose together, he pecks Donghae’s cheek and lingers there a little. Then, he buries his face into the crook of his neck and sighs, feeling more relaxed than he’s been in days, just as he resumes the drawings of his fingers.

Giving him a small grin, Donghae leans in and catches his lips into a lazy kiss. It’s only lips and shared hot breaths at first, which then grows into something more intense the moment their tongues curl and slide together. Hyukjae hums under his breath, eyes closed, and tilts his head a little to the side when Donghae carefully presses himself closer. The sparkles of pleasure that started to fade away flare up again, lukewarm and building somewhere in the pit of his stomach. Too lost in the warmth and the safeness that his soulmate provides him, Hyukjae puts the thought aside to better enjoy their intimacy.

At some point, however, as his arousal becomes slightly more insistent, Donghae gently takes his wrist and pulls it away from his body.

“We—we might have to calm down a little,” Donghae laughs nervously. “It’s… I don’t know where we stand about this. We did talk about it, but we didn’t really talk about it. You know? About… things. So I think… I think I’d rather go and calm down a little first, if that’s okay? I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” Hyukjae blinks dazedly, and then laughs. “Don’t be sorry, you big idiot. You’re being more than perfect.”

Sliding back just a little, Hyukjae gives Donghae enough space to calm down but still stays close enough so that he remains the center of his thoughts. He can hear it in Donghae’s mind—how there’re only thoughts of him, how Donghae can’t seem to focus on anything else but him. Pleased and a little thrilled, Hyukjae takes the time to think about it. He mulls over the idea which Donghae is apparently trying to push back, and realizes with a start that he doesn’t mind.

It’s not exactly the first thing he craves to do right now, although the prospect of being pleasured physically is always a nice one, but it’s not repulsing him in the slightest. If anything, he’d love to have Donghae all for himself.

“You’re cute, do you know that?” Hyukjae comments. “I… I wouldn’t mind.”

“I—what?” Donghae stops in his tracks and peers at him, eyes suddenly serious. “Are you… are you sure?” he asks softly. “I don’t mind not doing anything. I could just go and calm down for a bit, and then we’d go back to our cuddling. I love that too.” I… I think I love more than just that.

Is this a confession, Lee Donghae? Laughing, Hyukjae brings him into a tentative kiss and nods once again. “I’m not doing it for you,” he assures him, then blinks and chuckles again. “Well, kind of, to be honest. But I do want to have with you. The rest of my motives are entirely selfish, I promise.”

His soulmate rolls his eyes and carefully lies down on top of him with his full weight, which earns him a yelp of protest. “I like you being selfish, you know?” Donghae tells him seriously. “At least about this. You being selfish about the couch and cakes is slightly more annoying, I’ll have to admit.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Hyukjae says as he tries to push him off. “Get off, you fat-. You’re heavy.”

Offended, Donghae huffs that he’s not fat, just a bit fleshy, and that he doesn’t have much to say either. At least my ’s not all bony like yours!

Have been staring at my often, eh, Mr. Lee? Hyukjae retorts playfully as he’s brought to the bedroom.

Soon enough, after a childish wrestling match that leaves the both of them panting—weak stamina on top of that, Hyukjae teases some more—, they fall on the bed while sharing soft kisses and giggling in-between. Clothes are shed off by the bed one at a time, without any hurry, and Hyukjae feels himself blush when Donghae stares at him in deep earnest, like he wants to remember the picture of him forever.

“If I tell you to stop…” Hyukjae starts softly.

Donghae smiles at him, and then leans down to peck his forehead. “I will. No questions asked.”

 

 

 

Chapter Fourteen

 

 

 

Hyukjae’s thoughts are nearly wordless but thrum so loud in Donghae’s mind that he feels dizzy from them, his hands trembling slightly as they trace the curves of his lean body. Donghae can feel the pace of his heartbeat speed up as it thumps in his chest, losing its steady rhythm each time he looks up and catches his soulmate’s eyes. Exhaling shakily, he carefully lowers himself down until they’re pressed against each other, all and shivering at their first contact.

As he releases a soft gasp, Hyukjae widens his eyes and reaches out quickly to hold onto his arms, as if to stop him. Something that looks like hesitation and nervousness flashes across his features, prompting Donghae to ache a little inside. The latter leans in and kisses his forehead, soft and reassuring as he stills above him.

Hyukjae? he asks.

Yes, Hyukjae answers slowly. I—yeah. Just, go slow. Please? I feel… a bit out of place.

Nodding, Donghae pecks him again. Of course. And then, before he can stop himself, he confides, I love you, Hyukjae.

The loud humming of Hyukjae’s mind ceases all at once. I—I—… he stammers adorably, cheeks flushing a deep red as he unconsciously tries to bring him closer. I—… me too, Hyukjae finally utters, and his voice sounds so happy, so beautifully clear and certain and perfect in Donghae’s mind, that the latter has to lean in again and kiss him firmly. Me too. I do. I think I really do. Never mind the fact that we met only two months ago, he adds playfully after that.

Smiling so wide he wonders if it’s ever going to disappear, Donghae tugs him into a warm embrace and relishes in the silence. Then, after a soft whisper of tell me if I need to stop, he reaches down and rubs soothing circles on Hyukjae’s hips. His soulmate is already half-hard from all the stimulations and seems on a good way to be more than just that, but Donghae knows it’s not what he has to decide of his actions on. Instead, he focuses his whole attention on the way Hyukjae stares up at him. His hazel eyes are a little glazed yet never leave his sight, as if Donghae is the last anchor that keeps him safe.

Pushing his impatience to the very back of his mind, Donghae takes care to trace and remember all the parts of Hyukjae’s body that he gets to touch. He pauses when Hyukjae asks him to, continues when the latter says it’s fine, and stops altogether when he’s told to. Hours seem to be going by yet when he sees the look of pure adoration that shines in his soulmate’s eyes, Donghae knows that it’s all worth it.

Yes, okay, I—… Hyukjae utters slowly as Donghae rests his hands just above the curve of his . Okay, go ahead. Slow. Please.

There’s pleasure in Donghae’s mind, the sort that builds almost too quickly in his crotch, pulling and aching and demanding. And there’s also another kind that seeps inside his head such as warm waves, all casted by his soulmate. It all blends together easily, forming a beautiful whole that leaves the both of them breathless. It’s as though their mental link enhances everything—from the hesitation and the need to go slow, the trust they have for each other, to the happiness of feeling such sensations together. 

By the time Donghae reaches out for a and the lube on his bedside table, Hyukjae is left panting in the middle of his bed. He looks beautiful, shining from the soft glow of the moonlight that sneaks in through the curtains, while his dark hair seems to form a halo around his head. His eyes look more glazed than lost like they had earlier, and his lips are slightly swollen from all the kisses and the biting, and there’s a small grin that graces his face.

If you call me an angel, Hyukjae warns playfully. I will kick you.

I wouldn’t dare, Donghae nods solemnly as he pours lube on his fingers and then reaches down. Never crossed my mind.

The smart retort his soulmate has on the edge of his lips is lost when Donghae gently presses one slick finger on his entrance.

Wait.

Donghae does. He doesn’t insist and yet doesn’t pull back either, leaning down to kiss Hyukjae instead. The latter feels tense at first but relaxes quickly, his tongue sliding teasingly along Donghae’s.

“Do you want to stop?” Donghae asks him then.

Thoughts swirling in his mind like leaves lost in a rainstorm, Hyukjae doesn’t say a word at first. Then, after a moment of reflection that has Donghae almost pulling back with an apology, he finally shakes his head. His hands grip harder around his arms and he blinks a little, as if trying to fight a trance he hasn’t realized he’s fallen in. “No,” Hyukjae says sincerely. I don’t. Stay with me.

“I’d never leave,” Donghae smiles and buries his face into the crook of his soulmate’s neck, inhaling as he finally pushes a first finger inside him.

Hyukjae’s mind blanks out once again. His breath hitches in his throat as Donghae sinks his first lube-coated finger deeper inside. Biting hard onto the insides of his cheeks, Donghae does his best to catch all the twists and throbs of emotions that his soulmate shows on his face. He picks up on the pleasure as much as he does on the pain too, stopping or moving some more according to what he sees.

When he is sure that Hyukjae is ready and that he earns himself a faint mewl of delight, Donghae finally pushes a second finger inside. There’s a sharp intake of breath as hazel eyes flutter shut, out of both pleasure and discomfort. Donghae pumps his two fingers at a steady and slow pace before putting the last one in, pausing long enough to let his soulmate adjust to the intrusion.

Mind thrumming with only the sounds of Donghae’s name, Hyukjae’s touches alternate between heavy and light over his body, some of them so quick that they are barely felt. Donghae feels Hyukjae’s knees knock against his thighs more than once as they shift together, smiling a little helplessly and a lot lovingly. Then, Hyukjae pulls him down to press his mouth over his own, before his kisses then move lower, across his jawline and his throat, all the way down to his shoulders.

Can I—… Donghae pauses, gulping, and decides Hyukjae deserves to hear him speak aloud. “Can I—… make love to you? Or do you want me to stop?”

“Yes,” Hyukjae nods firmly, looking like he craves for it as much as he seems lost and slightly clueless. “I want you to. I love you. Come on—go on.”

“I love you too.” So much.

It’s like Donghae can’t breathe properly anymore. With measured touches, he finally takes his fingers out, earning a groan, and softly brushes his knuckles against the insides of Hyukjae’s thighs. Then, after putting a on and lubing himself up, Donghae moves between his soulmate’s legs until the head of his presses insistently against his hole, resting against him with not quite enough pressure. Hyukjae trembles underneath him and bites on his lips, fingers of one hand digging hard into the skin of Donghae’s back while the other is swiftly caught in Donghae’s.

And then, finally—finally—Donghae dares to push forwards.

Both their minds seem to implode. There’re pain and pleasure and love everywhere, the sounds of their names repeated over and over, and for moment, it feels like their emotions are one. It buzzes and thrums and does all sorts of other things Donghae is not sure he would know how to describe. He wonders if that’s how it feels to be dropped into the sky and sinking through clouds, the rush and the delight and the adrenaline bottled up altogether.

As soon as Hyukjae mumbles to him to move, Donghae sets his hips into a slow pace. A louder groan slips out of his mouth. Watching Hyukjae’s face, he carefully pulls out and s back in in a careful motion. And then he does it again, and again, over and over again, and the pressure feels so wonderful around his that he has to close his eyes.

Hands moving distractedly across any bit of Hyukjae he knows it’s okay to reach, Donghae opens his mouth in dire bliss. He gets almost lost in the pleasure—the feeling of his soulmate underneath him, their warmth together, the rumbles of incoherent thoughts that drop in their minds. There’s almost only pleasure left in their thoughts now, only shadowed by an odd sensation of being out of place that Donghae knows isn’t his own. But he trusts Hyukjae to tell him if he wants him to stop, knows he won’t hesitate if there’s anything at all.

Finally, Donghae finds it in himself to look down at Hyukjae, and then almost whines at his expression. He groans instead, long and low and desperate. Hyukjae’s eyes are glazed and a little dreamy, but it seems like it’s more from the way Donghae’s own face is twisted in bliss, rather than the firm slides he makes within him. Moans and broken whimpers still leave his lips whenever Donghae pushes somewhere right, and it’s all it takes for him to echo his pleasure.

The sounds of Donghae’s delight, moans and groans and whines, seem to grow louder at the same pace that his pleasure intensifies. It pulls at his crotch, demands of him to move faster, deeper, harder. And so he does, tentatively at first, until Hyukjae yelps and urges him mentally to do it again.

Soon enough, after a strategic downward slide, Hyukjae jolts forward when he finally strikes his prostate. , Hyukjae curses. ———… this is so… weird. This is—

Good? Donghae asks and smiles unsteadily, pleased with himself, when a squeaky yes! answers him. He slams into the same spot over and over again in fast, shallow s that has his soulmate’s body tensing and quivering and shaking without a stop beneath him.

Donghae feels like imploding at the demanding pull of his swollen , hips begging him to buck even harder—faster—deeper. He gives in, no second thoughts holding him back, reveling in the loud cries and moans Hyukjae releases into his ears. His is doing nothing if him in, trying to own a little bit more of himself each times he s back inside. Velvety, burning hot insides and press wonderfully around his thick, heavy every time he pulls in and out of him, successfully stealing his breath away until he feels light-headed.

Is it okay if I—

Yes, Hyukjae moans between two whimpers and whines, when Donghae reaches down for his leaking, angry-red . Yes, okay—you—please—I—… Donghae, Donghae—soulmate—please, I—… I—I—I—…

Hyukjae awkwardly moves against his s, smooth hair falling messily across his face, while his shivering lips are pressed against his neck—and it feels all so good. They have been there for a while now, teasing him with bites and , and so Donghae turns his head to kiss them thoroughly. But he can’t focus for long; instead, he buries his face into Hyukjae’s shoulder, groaning as his soulmate transfers his kisses on his throat.

“God, Donghae, I’m—” Donghae—Donghae—Donghae—Donghae—… Soulmate—

Hyukjae’s eyes go wide again as he gasps in breaths of air, whimpering with every of Donghae’s hand along his , and looks straight at Donghae with an expression that he wants to steal and keep forever. He looks completely overwhelmed, the good kind of overwhelmed, and almost like he’s going to cry from all the feelings inside of him, and then his eyes roll back. He cries out loud, his body going tense and jerking helplessly beneath Donghae’s. Warm liquid splashes across both their stomach, dripping down almost sinfully.

Donghae has only a few seconds to contemplate the fact that he’s managed to make his soulmate come, before he loses it. Hyukjae is limp beneath him, drawing in great shuddering breaths as Donghae s as hard as he dares. The smell of is heavy on the air and he can hear them both panting and the sounds of their skin slapping together; Donghae’s whole being is overloaded with sensations. He can feel his building in the pit of his stomach, bigger than anything he’s felt before.

“Hyukjae,” he chokes, his hips losing their rhythm and his heart feeling like it’s about to burst. He manages one more and then he’s coming hard. His whole body goes rigid while his vision whirls into white nothingness. His mind flashes frantically with pictures of Hyukjae, of them, of us, and barely holds on. Whiplashes of rapture tear through him from head to toe. They throb and ache and tingle all over his body, pooling in his crotch as long spurts of ecstasy spill out of him.

Donghae cannot breathe anymore—cannot see, cannot think. It’s only—only—

Hyukjae.

They collapse together, sticky and breathless. Donghae doesn’t even have enough energy left to roll off Hyukjae; he only manages a long groan, tremors of intense pleasure thrumming all over his spent body.

“Okay?” he asks Hyukjae sometime later, kissing his eyebrow as he carefully pulls out and throws the .

Blinking dazedly, Hyukjae looks up at him. He looks a little lost still, but happiness and pleasure buzz in his mind in a frenzy that makes Donghae smile lovingly. There’s also the start of a slumber building somewhere and Donghae leans in to kiss him on the lips, just as Hyukjae mumbles, “Yeah. Just aches. Normal.”

Donghae pulls him close so Hyukjae is resting along his side, one leg thrown over his and his head resting on his shoulder. “Want to sleep?”

I think I’m already halfway there, Hyukjae chuckles sleepily.

They lie in silence for a few long minutes, content in each other’s company. Hyukjae is breathing quietly and evenly, still holding tightly onto Donghae’s fingers as he presses his face into his chest. Smiling, Donghae kisses his hair and wriggles more comfortably, then happily joins him in his slumber.

That night again, they share a dream.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Hyukjae wakes up the next morning with Donghae sprawled all over him, snoring into his ear. Chuckling, he tries to roll him over until he can breathe a little more easily and then happily latches himself on him, hugging Donghae so tight he can feel the strain in his own muscles. For a moment, he’s even a little surprised that it doesn’t wake him up. He bites on his lips, listening to his soulmate’s incoherent thoughts, which are still lost in his dream, just as his eyes flicker over Donghae’s sleeping features.

The hadn’t been so bad. If anything, it had been more than just nice, and the ache that thuds faintly in the small of his back feels almost good. Hyukjae loves the fact that Donghae paid attention to his wishes and wants first and foremost—that he took care of him like Hyukjae needed, yet not like he’d been made of glass. It had been frantic and a little rough at times, but Hyukjae had wanted it and regretted nothing. Even now, it felt like the night had been only for the both of them—the both of them taking something they wanted and needed, and giving in return, and Hyukjae—

Hyukjae loves it.

Unable to help himself, he gives into the selfish impulse and leans over to gently press his face into Donghae’s shoulder. His mouth ghosts over his skin, and there’s almost a taste lingering that makes his heartbeat speeds up happily. Hyukjae presses closer still, brushing his lips over Donghae’s smooth skin.

“Awake?” Donghae then murmurs from next to him and Hyukjae smiles. Hello!

“Seems like it,” he replies, thrilled and a little shy. Good morning. You sound very cheerful this morning.

Groaning drowsily, Donghae stretches his arms above his head, just as Hyukjae slides off him and lies on his stomach on his side of the bed. “Well,” Donghae says seriously. “It’s Christmas, and my boyfriend is awesome, and I love him and he loves me—what’s there not to be cheerful about?”

“I could draft you a list, if you’d like,” Hyukjae answers innocently. “There’s a lot, you know? Global warming, bad weather, sad puppies and kittens, horrible healthcare systems in the world, the terrifying lack of proper food in your refrigerator, that thing that—”

Torn between looking exasperated and highly amused, Donghae reaches out with a finger to shush him. “Okay, okay,” he laughs. “I got it, okay? Christmas, awesome boyfriend, us loving each other—that’s enough to make me cheerful. Satisfied?”

“Very,” Hyukjae snickers in response, feigning biting his finger.

Silence settles slowly between the two soulmates. It’s airy and comfortable, stretching over a lapse of time they don’t notice as they gaze at each other without a word. Without a thought. But even then—even if their minds are silent as well, swimming idly in-between the two ends of their mental link—they know with a near exactness what they’re both focused on.

And that’s each other.

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

When Donghae glances at the time on his phone, it shows nine o’clock in the morning, and he’s a bit amazed that they stayed asleep for so long. Rather amused and feeling wonderfully sated, he drops the device somewhere near his pillow and goes back to admire his soulmate. Hyukjae looks back at him, blinking and then blushing at his cheesy train of thoughts, but smiles a secret smile that makes Donghae ache in all kinds of perfect ways. Sprawled on his stomach next to him, Hyukjae folded his arms on his pillow and is resting his head on them, while the thick blankets only cover him from the waist down. The milky-white skin of his back is all for Donghae’s eyes to see, and there are small purple bruises hidden in the crook of his neck and one on his shoulder—and the luscious sight makes arousal twist down his spine, thick and warm in his veins.

After a long moment of avid staring, his end of the link barely closed anymore, Donghae gulps and shifts just a little closer. “You look very good,” he confides, a little overwhelmed. “Like, very good. Actually, you always do. You know, looking good. Hot. y. All these things. But you’re also so beautiful and handsome and perfect, and holy , Hyukjae, I love you so, so much.”

Blushing a furious shade of red, Hyukjae promptly hides half of his face into his pillow. “Don’t be stupid,” he retorts in a half-whine. “I can’t possibly look anything near hot right now, Donghae. My hair’s a mess, I’m all sweaty and sticky with something I’d rather not name, and I have morning breath. How’s that any y at all?”

“You have no idea how my brain works, babe,” Donghae wriggles his eyebrows playfully at him, laughing when Hyukjae punches his shoulder in return. “Does that bother you, though? That I tell you that you look hot and y and things? I can stop if you want.”

Seemingly surprised by his question, Hyukjae blinks in confusion. He thinks about it for a little while, his thoughts pensive and considering, before he shrugs. “Not really,” he replies in the end. “I mean, that’s a compliment, right? So I guess I feel a little flattered, but I just… I just don’t really understand what it is that you see in me that makes you think that I am at all. I’m kind of… indifferent about it, to be honest? In a good way, if that makes sense. But that’s not the sort of compliment that’ll make me blush all over.” The part about me being beautiful and things and you loving me do, though.

Humming in understanding, Donghae brings him closer into a tight hug and sighs a little when Hyukjae’s body slides along his own. It renews his arousal and he shivers slightly, biting hard onto his lower lip. He hopes for a brief moment that Hyukjae won’t notice it but that’s such a futile thought that he almost laughs at himself.

“Is this your morning wood trying to poke me to death or does my morning breath really turn you on?” Hyukjae laughs then, his face pressed against his chest as he peers up at him. He pauses, considering, and then asks hesitantly, “Am I… Do you want me to… do anything about this?”

“Do you want to?” Donghae asks him, unmoving.

Hyukjae blinks thoughtfully, and then slowly shakes his head no. “No,” he tells him truthfully. “I think I’d rather just cuddle in bed with you until I’ll need to go to my mom’s for that Christmas dinner thing.”

“Feeling like not going and staying with me in bed instead just yet?” Donghae laughs at his slightly dejected pout. He kisses him firmly and ignores the fact that they have indeed morning breaths—I’ll brush my teeth after you, Hyukjae promises—, then reaches for a pair of sweatpants. When he’s pulled them on, he makes a scene of getting up and then finally heads to the bathroom.

Before he can reach the door, however, Hyukjae calls him softly. Donghae turns around, his hand hovering over the doorknob and eyes curious.

I love you, Donghae, Hyukjae whispers with a soft, beautiful smile that makes him a little breathless. “Very much.” Even if you’re not Daniel Craig.

Donghae’s smile widens, so much his muscles nearly hurt. Daniel Craig is overrated. “Me too. I love you too, Hyukjae.”

 

 

 

*

 

 

 

Somewhere between their hearts and their minds, the Bonding thrums happily.