Seulgi

            It’s been a year since I joined SM and I met new trainees. Jongin and I became very close in the first six months. We met each other every night and we would practice together until our body ache. We had a fun time helping each other out and teaching each other what we learned that day. Jongin became comfortable with me and I thought our relationship was going uphill, but…turns out I’m wrong.

            In January 2008, our relationship was its lowest point and I even thought we were strangers.  

            “Seulgi, you don’t have to come tonight, Taemin is going to accompany me tonight.” I heard as I checked my voice mail. This has been going for a few weeks now. In the end of 2007, Jongin has been hanging out with another trainee. His name is Taemin. Turns out they’re both extremely well in dancing and so they clicked. I’m not mad that Jongin found another friend he’s comfortable with in the company, but I just felt like he’s replacing me. Taemin’s a way better dancer than I am and I guess he’s also more resourceful than I am. If Jongin could learn from a better person, the sooner he improves.

            “Seul, are you going to stay late tonight? The girls and I want to grill some pork belly tonight!” Jinri offered. The girls just finished practicing and they’re all planning to go have some Korean BBQ. It was one of those rare nights where SM allowed their trainee to eat whatever food they like.

            “No,” I answered her with a sad smile, “Jongin’s going to train with Taemin tonight so I’m free. Is it okay if I join you?” Jinri smiled as she pulled me to Song Qian’s car where all the other girls were waiting.

            “Oh, Seulgi! No practice tonight?” Soojung asked me from the front seat.    

            “Jongin’s bailed on her again.” Jinri shouted from the back seat. I playfully glared at her for her odd word choice. Jongin didn’t bail on me. He just cancelled our plans. Was that the same thing?

            “Well, if you ever need someone to practice late at night, you can always ask me. I’ve always wanted to stay over at the company.” Soojung added. As much as I was comforted by her words, I wanted to ask Jongin if I was still as important to him as I was a few months ago. Was he still as insecure as I am? If he isn’t then I’m glad but I hope he won’t forget that I’m still his friend.

            Throughout the night I kept checking my phone to see if Jongin left me message about anything. I can’t help but feel sad knowing that I might have to search for other best friends. I can’t depend on Jongin all the time.

            “Hey Seul, stop looking so down. Cheer up. It’s a girl’s night out. Don’t worry about Jongin. He’s a douche. If he really is your friend then he would make an effort to spend time with you.” Soojung said as she nudged me. I looked at her and nod. Maybe she’s right. “Look, if you really want a friend to stay late at night with you, I’ll do it.”

            Since then on I stayed in the practice room until midnight with Soojung. Turns out having girl friends can be more entertaining. She can understand my problems and she was willing to help me out with my vocal training. Although my relationship with Jongin drifted apart, I gained a new friendship with Soojung. Ever since that night, Jongin hadn’t texted me nor greeted me when we passed each other. We were acting like we’re strangers.

            A few months later, I almost declared my relationship with Jongin as strangers, but he once again, proved me wrong.

One night I was practicing alone