A/N : Hello all! Just wanted to say a HUGE thanks to everyone who has read/subscribed/commented on the story so far! You guys are the best! Also big congrats on Dongho’s wedding announcement!!! I am just overwhelmed with joy right now and couldn’t be happier for our eternal maknae!

…

It’s a date.

The sentence kept playing over and over in Kiseop’s mind. Is it really a date though? Kiseop sighed, running his fingers through his hair. He was standing on the balcony, trying to get some fresh air and time to think. The more he thought about their brief conversation at breakfast, the more it didn’t seem real. Kiseop just wasn’t expecting AJ to want to hang out with him, alone, at their special date spot. Normally, Kiseop loved it when AJ would take him out on dates, he would spoil Kiseop so much and wasn’t ashamed to flaunt his love to the world. Leaning over the railing, he thought about it some more. Kiseop couldn’t help but feel that things couldn’t just be as easy, that AJ would be so open to wanting to spend time with him when last night he didn’t even want to sleep in the same room as him. The Kiseop realised something; last night happened. Feeling his stomach turning itself in a not, he couldn’t deny the smile that crept on his face when he entered their room and saw AJ sleeping so peacefully.

Maybe AJ believes in us after all?

 Or maybe he is going to just leave you at the restaurant and humiliate you in front of everyone.

Kiseop’s smile faded in an instance and he suddenly felt sick. What if this really was a joke and Kiseop was so stupid and blind in love to accept AJ’s request. He was sacred that their spot which held so many memories of spontaneous dates, anniversaries, and surprise birthday celebrations would be forever tainted by his boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/friend…heck Kiseop didn’t even know what his relationship with AJ was at this point. He tried to think of this as a positive thing, that AJ maybe does really want to make amends with him but the more he thought about it, the more he thought of everything that could possibly go wrong. Kiseop’s mind wouldn’t stop and he was finding it hard to breath. Rushing back inside the house, he needed help.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” Kiseop suddenly exclaimed as he burst into Kevin and Eli’s room.

“Kiseop?” Kevin asked.

Kiseop sighed as he sat down on Kevin’s bed. “AJ asked me out on a date!”

“Kiseop, this isn’t brand new information. We were all there when he said it.” Eli laughed.

“Why would he want to go out on a date with me?”

“Kiseop, what’s the matter?” Kevin asked.

“Honestly I don’t know.”

“I thought you would want this?” Eli asked.

“I do. It’s just, I’m scared.”

“Well what are you scared about?” Kevin asked.

Kiseop then explained to them about his mixed feelings and how in the back of his mind AJ would hurt him again.

“Am I overreacting?”

“Not at all. We all know that things have been hard for you and I’m sure you weren’t expecting AJ to ask you out on a date all things considered. But thinking about the good stuff isn’t so bad. I mean this could be a chance for you two to have a genuine conversation and not these petty remarks that you two keep shooting at one another.” Kevin said. Kiseop opened his mouth to protest at Kevin’s last comment. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed.”

“Or even better, maybe you should just go there with no expectations.” Eli suggested.

“What do you mean?” Kiseop asked.

“Simple. Don’t think about what good can come out of it and don’t harp on the negative either. I’m not telling you not to think of AJ wanting to apologise to you but I don’t want you to get your hopes up and then end up being hurt again. The exact same thing as if you were to go with a negative outlook, AJ’s going to sense it and he’ll be more reluctant to say anything knowing how guarded you are.”

Kiseop considered what Eli said. “You’re right Eli. You’re right.”

Eli smirked proudly. “Aren’t I always?”

“Thanks guys, I appreciate it.”

“Not a problem at all! That’s what we’re here for.” Kevin said.

Kiseop felt at ease now all his doubt and concerns at rest, till he realised something and gasped out loud. “I just realised an even bigger problem!”

“What is it?” Kevin asked.

“I don’t know what to wear!!”

…

Seven o’clock approached way too fast for AJ and Kiseop’s liking. AJ drove them to the restaurant and was thankful that it was a pretty silent ride, although AJ would make a comment here and there like, “Man, I’m so hungry” or “I wonder who is still working there” he was truly thankful Kiseop didn’t start demanding answers on the drive over there. As the two walked inside the restaurant, they took their seats at their usual table right in the back corner of the space. After giving their orders, the two sat awkwardly not knowing what to do or say. AJ knew if anyone had to speak first, it had to be him.

AJ smiled as he watched Kiseop look out the window. “Can I tell you a secret?” Kiseop smiled back and nodded. “I haven’t felt this nervous since I first asked you out.”

Kiseop’s smile grew. “Well at least you’re not as drunk as you were that night. I know I’m a lightweight drinker, but you’re just as bad, if not worse!”

“I’m telling you, Soohyun really did spike my drink that night! At least I don’t throw up strawberries like you!” AJ poked his tongue out at Kiseop.

“Yah!!”

AJ couldn’t hold back his laughter, he almost forgot how to laugh genuine and heartily.

Kiseop didn’t fail to notice it too. “Can I tell you a secret too? I’m nervous too.”

AJ had stopped laughing and became serious again. If you don’t tell him now, you probably will never have a chance like this again. Things are so far so good, you’ve got this Jaeseop! Fighting!

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked you to have dinner with me. And I’m sure you’re also wondering about what happened back in New York as well.”

Kiseop felt his heart start to race way too fast. “You don’t have to tell me anything. I’m just happy to be spending time with my friend.”

AJ felt his stomach drop. He hated it, he always hated the way he would always say the word friend to him. Each time in such a bitter voice that he knew he deserved. But AJ was sure that tonight would be the last time he would ever hear Kiseop say that to him. “No Kiseop. You deserve to know the truth, I owe you that much.”

Kiseop simply nodded and folded his hands in his lap. “Okay, from the beginning.”

AJ took in a deep breath and told him everything. He told him about finding about being sick, how he didn’t want to be a burden to Kiseop and how he had secretly wanted Kiseop to hate AJ so it would be easier for him to move on from him. By the time AJ had finished, both men were beyond tears.

“AJ…” Kiseop’s sentence had died out when he felt his tears falling again. “Why would you do this to yourself? Why would you do this to us?” AJ just started at his hands, he couldn’t bring himself to look at Kiseop’s pained expression any longer. “It hurts that you would go through all this pain all by yourself for my sake.”

“I’m really sorry. I know I shouldn’t have shut you out and there were so many times where I desperately needed you by my side, so much so that it was driving me crazy. I have no one to blame but myself and I know if you want nothing to do with me anymore. I don’t think I can apologise enough over my stupidity.”

“But I do forgive you.” Kiseop replied almost immediately.

“Kiseop…no…”

“Even if you forced me to hate you with all my being, it would never happen. You’re not just some guy to me. You’re not just a friend and you’re not just a boyfriend. You’re my whole world Jaeseop. You mean everything to me. I know that we’ve been dating for two years now but as weird as it sounds I can’t even remember life without you in it and I’m not afraid to say that I’m terrified of living a life without you in it.”

AJ let out a staggered breath. “Kiseop, I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you.”

Kiseop reached out and grabbed AJ’s hand and linked it with his. “You deserve the world Seopie and I’m going to make you see it whether you like it or not!”

“I love you so much.”

“I love you more.” Kiseop said tightening his grip on AJ. “I also owe you an apology.”

“What for? You’ve done nothing wrong.”

“I acted like jerk towards you too. I thought if I acted like I didn’t care about you or what you said, it would make me feel better and that you would feel even worse. But in the end, I couldn’t stand hurting you because I could see the sadness in your eyes.”

“You had every right to be a jerk to me. I’m kind of surprised that you hadn’t punched me in the face yet.”

“I’m not going to lie, I did consider it many times, but I didn’t want to say it out loud but you’re too pretty to be walking around with black eyes.”

AJ raised his brows and laughed. “Oh! Two black eyes?!”

Kiseop shrugged. “Yeah, I have to balance it out.”

“There’s also one other thing that I want to talk to you about…what happened last night?”

“I wanted to remember what it was like to be with you again…” Kiseop whispered.

“Kiseop…I…”

“I knew that you were passed out so I took my chance knowing that you weren’t going to wake up. You must’ve had quite the shock when you woke up.”

“I wouldn’t call it shock. I would call it realisation.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Lying there next to you made me realise my behaviour and just how badly I want this. I don’t want to feel empty again.”

“I promise I will never let that happen.”

The two continued their meal, with less tears and more smiles. The owner of the restaurant had surprised the couple with a free strawberry cake to celebrate AJ’s return home.

“Are you sure you should be eating this?” AJ asked.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“I saw how much wine you had tonight. I don’t want this night to be ruined by you throwing up strawberries in my car!” AJ joked.

“Stop it!” Kiseop wined back, taking the plate they were sharing to his side of the table. As Kiseop and AJ continued on with their meal, they were suddenly approached by a man.

“Oh! Fancy seeing you two here.” The man said.

Kiseop looked like he was about to have a panic attack.

AJ looked like he was ready to kill someone.