AJ shook his head. “No. No, I can’t.”

“You know you have to tell them.” Hoon replied.

“What are you talking about Hoon?” Soohyun asked.

“AJ, please tell them. I can’t hold it in any longer and neither can you.”

AJ took another sip of his water and sighed. “You all might want to sit down for this.” He waited until everyone was comfortable and told his story.

“A couple of months back, I was in the library studying when I started having really bad chest pains, at first I didn’t think much of it but then it just got worse and worse to the point I thought I was going to drop dead. I was taken to hospital and they told me that I have a heart condition.”

Soohyun gasped and then placed his hands over his mouth while Eli dropped an F bomb under his breath.

“A little while after finding out about it I had surgery done to take care of it. Everything was fine until it started hurting again, even more than before the surgery. The doctors prescribed me some pills to make the pain more bearable but it’s something that I have to live with now.”

“I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of this alone.” Eli said placing his hand comfortingly on AJ’s knee. “Why didn’t you tell anyone of us though? We would come here in a heartbeat to support you- no pun intended.”

AJ chuckled. “I couldn’t because of him…”

“Why didn’t you want Kiseop to find out?” asked Soohyun.

“Because you and I both know how he is. He would freak out and become so worried about taking care of me, while no one would be there to care of him- that should be my responsibility as his boyfriend. I wanted to tell him as soon as I found out and so many times after that but I was just scared, I didn’t want him to think that I would die and that he wasn’t there by my side. I didn’t want him to be so caught up with me that he wouldn’t be focused on the band.”

AJ could feel his eyes start to sting as he recalled everything. Looking up the ceiling, he started blinking away his tears before continuing. “I didn’t know if I was living on borrowed time or not, so I started to distance myself from Kiseop. I thought that it would be easier for him not to know anything at all, I wanted him to move on and forget about me. He deserves someone who isn’t on the other side of the world, he deserves someone that isn’t sick. He deserves better than me.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself Jaeseop.” Soohyun said.

“The guilt of acting like I didn’t care about him hurt more than any other physical pain.” AJ said while he let his tears run freely. “All those times he would leave me his voicemail messages, every time he would send me an email or a picture of his stupid beautiful selfies. I know what I did was wrong but it’s for the best.”

“What do you mean it’s for the best? You can’t let him go, you just can’t!” Eli exclaimed.

“Yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t! And I’ll tell you why!”

“Why?”

“Because you’re not dead yet!” Eli said with a smirk.

“What?”

“Eli’s right.” Soohyun said. “Yeah we know Kiseop is going to have a freak out, but only because he cares about you and he loves you so much. Let him be your strength in your weakness, I’m sure it’ll be much stronger than anything a doctor can prescribe.”

“But there’s something I still don’t understand.” Eli said.

“What’s that?” AJ asked wiping his tears with the sleeve of his jacket.

“Why did you tell Hoonie about what was going on and not anyone else?”

“It wasn’t like I planned on telling him about it, he sort of made me confess.” AJ replied.

“I overheard manager hyung talking on the phone to someone about AJ, I didn’t think of it as anything until I heard them talking about hospitals and surgery. So a few days later I called him to ask what happened and if he was okay. He told me what he had just told you guys now and while I was talking to him I confronted him about the Kiseop situation.”

“You should have told us Hoon.” Soohyun said to his boyfriend is serious tone.

AJ noticed Hoon tilt his head down to hide his guilt. “Yah! Don’t be mad at him, I’m the one that told him not to tell anyone. It felt kind of the same as confessing something you did wrong to your mum, Hoonie just saw right through me.”

“Well that’s why he is the mum of the group!” Eli laughed.

Soohyun looked at his watch. “It’s getting late, we should probably get going now.”

“Are you guys staying far?” AJ asked.

“Nah, just a few minutes away.” Eli responded. “I hope Kevin and Kiseop are okay.”

“Speaking of which, Jaeseop as much as we appreciate you telling us everything, you know what you need to do.” Soohyun said.

AJ sighed as he opened the front door for them. “I know, I know. I’ll tell him but in the meantime please do not say anything to him.”

“Jaeseop…”

“Soohyun please. I want him to hear it from me. So just please don’t say anything.”

“Okay fine, but you better tell him soon.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“Goodnight AJ, make sure to get some rest.” Hoon said.

“Don’t worry, I will. Goodnight guys.”

AJ closed the door and rested his back against it. I’m sorry Soohyun but I can’t keep my promise.

…

The ride home was quiet and the atmosphere in the hotel room was even worse in Hoon’s opinion. Eli had said goodnight to the other two and made his way to his room that he was sharing with Kevin and Kiseop. Hoon knew that Soohyun was still mad at him for not saying anything about the AJ situation.

“Wow, what a day!” Hoon said plopping himself onto their bed trying to lighten the mood. Soohyun had his back turned to him as he changed out of his clothes. Hoon walked over to him and wrapped his arms around Soohyun’s waist.

“Hoon…”

“I’m sorry.” Hoon quickly responded back letting his arms fall at his sides while keeping his head down.

“I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other.” Soohyun said as he turned around to face his partner. “I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty pissed off.”

Hoon cringed as he heard those words. “But I promised him not to say anything.”

 “I know how close the two of you are.” Hoon could’ve sworn he could sense a hint of jealousy in his voice. “Still, I’m upset you didn’t say anything to me. Do you not trust me?”

“Of course I trust you.” Hoon replied still not looking at Soohyun. “I’m sorry hyung.”

 Soohyun sighed as he moved closer towards Hoon and pulled him into a hug. “It’s okay Hoon. Just no more secrets alright?”

Hoon nodded into his shoulder. “Okay, I promise.”

“Good. Now let’s get you to bed.” Soohyun said dipping Hoon down a bit so he could playfully nuzzle Hoon’s neck.

…

“Kevin? What you still doing up?” Eli asked as he entered their room.

“I was waiting for you.” Kevin simply replied getting up from the couch to hug his partner.

“How is he?” Eli asked.

Kevin sighed. “Not good, but he’s getting there.”

Eli simply nodded and placed himself on the couch. “And how are you?”

Kevin wrapped his arm around Eli’s snuggling next to him. “Wishing that we were all having fun together instead of all this.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“I can’t believe that jerk.” Kevin mumbled. “So what happened with you guys?”

Eli wasn’t sure if he should tell Kevin what AJ had told them, of course he wanted Kevin to know that AJ had reason to act the way he did, but he didn’t want to cause more drama if he told Kevin and that story being told to Kiseop by someone who wasn’t AJ.

“Not much, just Soohyun giving AJ a massive scolding.” Eli finally said.

Kevin chuckled. “Shame I missed it. Come on, let’s go to bed. We’ll be needing a lot of strength for tomorrow.”

…

The next morning, the members were relaxing in Soohyun and Hoon’s room enjoying their breakfast when Soohyun’s phone started going off.

“It’s Jaeseop.” Hoon said handing Soohyun his phone.

The room fell silent with unease as they heard Soohyun’s phone play the Neverland chorus.

“Morning Jaesop-ah!” Soohyun chimed putting the phone on loudspeaker.

“Good morning! Hey are you guys doing anything today?”

“Mmm, no not really. Why?”

“Oh, I was just wondering if you guys wanted to hang out for lunch or something since I don’t have any classes today. It would be nice to have a proper catch up with you guys.”

Soohyun scanned the room to meet all the members and their hesitant expressions. “Umm…” Soohyun hated being in the middle of this, he wanted to hang out with AJ but at the same time knew that he would let Kiseop down if he said yes.

“Tell him we’ll be there.” Kiseop suddenly spoke.

AJ felt his stomach lurch. “Was that Kiseop? Am I loudspeaker?”

“Kiseop! What the hell are you saying?” Kevin whispered in Kiseop’s ear.

Kiseop walked over to Soohyun and took the phone from his grasp. “I’ll see you soon Seopie.”

AJ kept his phone placed on his ear long after the call had ended. Did he just call me Seopie? AJ was shocked that Kiseop had even spoke to him after what happened last night, but for him to address him by his pet name was something else. Suddenly he recalled the time that he had given him that name.

The two were spending some alone time in their dorm room back in Korea.

“Can I ask you something?” Kiseop asked turning to face AJ in their bed.

“What is it?”

“How come we don’t have a couple name?”

“What?!”

Kiseop blushed. “You know, a couple name. Like how there’s the Elvin couple and the Soohoon couple.”

“I don’t know…I just never cared about those sorts of things.” AJ responded. “Why?”

“I just think it’s cute that’s all.”

AJ smiled, not failing to notice Kiseop’s blush. Kiseop was just too much of a hopeless romantic and AJ just couldn’t deny him anything. “Did you have anything in mind?”

“Mmm...2seop!” Kiseop said proudly.

AJ wordlessly mouthed the name a couple of times. “2seop? I like it!”

“AJ you don’t have to agree with it if you don’t like it.”

“No! I do! I think it’s cute! We can be the Seop-Seop couple” AJ said wrapping his arms tightly around Kiseop.

Kiseop laughed, sinking lower into their bed, enjoying the warmth surrounding him. “I shall call you Seopie and you shall be my Seopie!”

AJ pulled him into a passionate kiss. He absolutely loved this dorky, beautiful, hopeless romantic man. “Why are you so wonderful?”

Kiseop flipped his invisible long hair. “I was born this way!”

“Yah!” AJ said playfully hitting Kiseop’s arm. Rolling him over so that AJ was pinned on top of Kiseop, he leaned in and kissed him once more.

“I love you.”

“I love you too, my Seopie.”

AJ snapped back into reality after realising he had zoned out. Why are you making it harder for me than it already is?

Kiseop on the other hand continued to ignore the very confused faces of s. “What? What is it? Do I have food on my face?”

“What the hell was that just then?” Soohyun said.

“I thought you would be packing your bags ready to go home?” Eli said.

Kiseop laughed, shaking his head. “It’s okay guys, really.”

“Kiseop, you don’t have to do this.” Hoon said.

“I said it was fine. He said we were friends remember? And as his friend, I want to have lunch with him. Now excuse me while I go get ready.”

Kiseop walked out of the hotel room with a smirk on his face. Let the games begin!