AJ slowly opened his eyes taking in the surrounding of his room. He took a few minutes just staring blankly into space enjoying the silence, until he realised something seemed off. AJ was lying on his side staring at the bed opposite him, he continued staring until realisation hit.

!!!! AJ cursed in his head. He could hear the light breathing next to him and could feel the pressure of another arm wrapped around his waist. Suddenly AJ was scared to move. One twitch and Kiseop could wake up and it would be game over. How could you be so ing stupid Jaeseop?! How could you fall asleep on HIS bed! AJ shook his head getting rid of his thoughts and took a deep breath in.

 It’s okay, just get up and leave.  

But AJ just couldn’t do it. He slowly turned around to face Kiseop and realised that he didn’t want to just get up and leave. He wanted to stay, he wanted to stay in his arms and sleep forever and forget about being sick, forget about university, forget about music. He wanted to stay so bad. AJ smiled at himself as he watched Kiseop sleep, cursing under his breath as he still looked picture perfect. He reached out to move away some strands of Kiseop’s hair out of his face but stopped midway when Kiseop started to stir, adjusting his sleeping position. AJ retracted his hand and sighed again looking away, very slowly he removed himself from Kiseop and got out of bed. He picked up the cat plushie that was tossed on the floor at some point of the night and placed it next to Kiseop.

“Good morning!” AJ said walking into the kitchen. “Still the first one to wake up as usual.”

“Ah! Good morning Jaeseop!” Hoon replied not looking up from his phone.

“What are you doing?”

“I want to make pancakes, but I don’t know how.” Hoon replied. “I thought we should have a nice breakfast since this house is full again.”

AJ laughed, Hoon really was the kindest person he had ever met. “Well you’re lucky that I do. I’ll help you out.”

As the two were busy making the pancake batter, AJ couldn’t keep his mind off what had happened a few minutes ago. He suddenly remembered back to when he had promised Soohyun that he would tell Kiseop the truth of everything. Hoon was about to ask AJ if his batter was okay to start cooking when he noticed AJ’s distant gaze.

“Everything okay?” Hoon asked placing his hand on AJ’s shoulder.

“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine.” AJ replied back.

“It’s Kiseop isn’t it?”

“What? No!” AJ exclaimed a bit too quickly.

Hoon laughed. “AJ, its fine. You know I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

AJ took in a deep breath, he was confused and sad and happy all at the same time. He needed to get this weird feeling off his chest. “Kiseop and I slept together last night.”

“What?!!” Hoon exclaimed.

“Shh!”

Hoon clasped his hand over his mouth, staring at AJ with wide eyes waiting for him to continue. When AJ didn’t respond, he continued. “You guys had ?”

AJ shook his head. “No. I meant that we actually slept together. Like the actually meaning of sleeping together.”

“But how?”

AJ told him all about how he saw Kiseop’s stuffed cat and all about how he was reminiscing of that day. He told him about how he ended up falling asleep on his bed and waking up with Kiseop next to him.

“I just don’t know what this means now.”

“Hmm,” Hoon said cooking the first batch of pancakes. “Honestly, I take this as a good thing.”

“How is this a good thing? If things between us weren’t awkward enough, now they sure as hell are.”

“Okay then, let me ask you a question. What do you truly want Jaeseop?”

AJ paused for a long moment. He considered Hoon’s question, but was stumped when he realised that he wasn’t too sure himself.

“I...I don’t know.”

“Well your expression tells a different story. I know that you’re wanting to do a good thing by him and you have your reasons for doing so. But at the same time, is it really worth it? You owe it to him.”

“You know, even though Soohyun made me promise to tell Kiseop everything, I still wasn’t planning to say anything.”

Hoon glared at him. “Jaeseop!”

“But now…” AJ sighed. “I don’t want to hurt him anymore. I don’t want something to happen to me and the last memory we share is me being a total to him. I love him so much and nothing or no one will ever to be able to fill his place.” AJ then suddenly felt his eyes start to sting. “It hurts, Hoon. It always hurts. I’ve hurt him so much and I don’t deserve him anymore.”

Hoon wrapped his arms around AJ and brought him in close. “Please don’t be so hard on yourself Jaeseop. I understand that you did all this out of love and to protect him, but let him be the one to protect you know. Let Kiseop be there for you.” AJ clenched onto Hoon’s shirt as he cried harder, nodding his head against the other man not caring if his sobs were loud enough to wake up the others.

“Oooh! What smells so good?” Soohyun had just walked into the kitchen, his smile turning into a questioning frown when he saw the other two break from their embrace and saw AJ’s tear stricken face. “Is everything okay?”

“Of course!” Hoon replied cheerfully. Soohyun’s questionable look was now on his boyfriend.

“Hoon made pancakes from scratch for the first time and they’re so good! I missed his cooking so much I started to cry.” AJ said.

Soohyun laughed. “Just make sure Eli doesn’t hear you say that! You made pancakes Hoonie?” Soohyun peered over the counter looking at the massive stack and assorted toppings. Hoon nodded shyly. Soohyun picked one up, folded it and shoved it in his mouth.

“Yah!!” Hoon exclaimed.

“Ahh! It’s hot!” Soohyun started waving his hands around his face and trying to chew at the same time.

“You couldn’t wait till a couple of minutes?” Hoon scolded.

Soohyun didn’t respond as he was trying not to burn his mouth. “Mmm, it’s sweet, just like you!” Soohyun kissed Hoon’s cheek, blushing furiously as he watched Soohyun walk away to wake up the others.

…

After the other members had woken up, the six of them sat down at the dining table and had their meal together. AJ had sat down first and decided the best course of action for now was to not look up from his plate. That was easier said than down when he looked up and saw that Kiseop was sitting directly across from him. AJ went back to picking at the blueberries on his plate with his fork, suddenly wishing that he was the ability to read minds, he looked up again subtly and saw Kiseop having a chat with Eli. Gazing at him, AJ wondered what was going through Kiseop’s mind last night. His initial reaction to AJ sleeping on his bed, why he didn’t kick him off and why Kiseop decided to just simply sleep next to him. AJ also wondered if Kiseop had told any of the other members what happened. He wouldn’t have been surprised at all if Kevin already knew the story. AJ let out a sigh, while he was talking with Hoon he did start to feel better and felt that the confusion in his head was starting to become clear, but now it all started to seem cloudy again.

“Are you all right?” Hoon asked so only AJ could hear him.

AJ nodded. “Yeah. I’m going to do it.”

“Do what?”

AJ just winked at Hoon and smirked. It’s now or never. AJ thought as he took another deep breath.

“Hey Seopie!” AJ said casually to Kiseop.

Kiseop turned to look at AJ with a stunned expression. “Y-Yes?”

“You, me, dinner tonight at our usual spot.”

Kiseop could feel everyone else staring at him even though Kiseop was only looking at AJ. He could feel his palms start to get sweaty and could feel his blood rushing to his ears. Why are you being so nervous Kiseop?! This is what you want right? But what if it’s some sort of trick? He wouldn’t be that low would he? But then again, he said that you were his ‘friend’.

“So…is that a yes?” AJ asked when Kiseop didn’t respond.

But a friend wouldn’t be sleeping in your bed, clutching your toy for dear life. Kiseop, pull it together! Just do it! You’ve got this!

Kiseop smiled back at AJ. “It’s a yes.”

AJ’s smiled widened, feeling a sudden weight he didn’t know existed somehow be lifted. “It’s a date then.”

“It’s a date!”