“Hey Seopie, it’s me again. Just wanted to see how things are going. It’s been a while since we last spoke. You’re probably too busy with college stuff anyway. I hope you’re staying safe and healthy, I’m doing fine and so is everyone else. I really miss you- we all do. I love you”

Kiseop sighed as he threw his phone on his bed. Another conversation with his boyfriend’s answering machine, Kiseop was now beginning to get frustrated by it. It had been over a year now since his partner Jaeseop had left for the States yet again to continue his University studies. At first the two of them were fine with their long distance relationship, but as time went on they barely had time to speak with each other. Things like time differences and hectic schedules for both parties seeming to build obstacles in their path, the only time they ever really communicated was on special occasions like birthdays or anniversaries. Kiseop would be lying if he said that his relationship wasn’t difficult, to be honest it was the hardest thing he ever had to do. He hated the fact that his boyfriend was on the other side of the world, he hated not being able to go on dates or just spend time together. He missed hearing him sing the songs and raps he would come up with for the band. He missed his touch, his scent. He just missed everything and he felt as if Jaeseop didn’t miss him as much as Kiseop did.

Trying to not let what had just transpired bother him anymore, he walked out into the longue room to find something to distract him. As he made his way over to the couch, he saw Eli and Kevin huddled up together whispering and giggling to each other. Kevin saw Kiseop enter the room and quickly told Eli to stop.

“Guys, you don’t have to do stop just because I’m here” said Kiseop watching Kevin’s face go bright red. Kiseop knew the reason why Kevin did what he did, the two had many talks about it. Kevin felt bad for Kiseop, having to watch himself and Eli be a couple as well as Soohyun and Hoon while he was by himself. Kevin just felt guilty and thought it was only fair to Kiseop to not be as lovey dovey because he knew how much Kiseop wanted Jaeseop to be there with him.

“Where are the other two?” Kiseop asked.

“Hyung and Hoonie went to go watch a movie together” said Eli.

“Oh…okay” said Kiseop sighing deeply. “Well, I’m off to bed”

Kevin and Eli watched Kiseop drag himself off the couch and slowly trot back to his room. Eli stared at Kiseop’s bedroom door before turning to Kevin. The latter shaking his head and letting out a sigh. “I’ll go talk to him” he said planting a kiss on Eli’s cheek.

Slowly knocking on Kiseop’s door he waited for him to respond. When he didn’t hear anything he opened the door and called out to him.

“Kiseop?” said Kevin with concern. He stayed at the door for a few more minutes, when Kiseop still didn’t say anything Kevin shut the door behind him and sat next to him on his bed. “Kiseop what’s wrong?” Kevin knew exactly what was wrong without having to hear the other boy’s response.

“I can’t do this anymore” Kiseop mumbled as his face was buried into his pillow. “I tried Kevin, I really tried. But now…I don’t think I can try anymore”

“Shh, it’s okay Kiseop. It’s okay” said Kevin as Kiseop cried into his shoulder.

“No it’s not. I keep telling myself the exact same thing, but the truth is that it is the total opposite. It’s killing me Kevin, every day it kills me. As much as I am happy that you have Eli and Soohyun and Hoon have each other, I get so jealous at the same time that I silently start getting frustrated and angry towards you guys. And I know you have every right to express how you feel toward each other but it…it just kills me”

“Kiseop you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know if I were in your shoes and Eli had to leave I would be a total mess from the moment he stepped out the door. But you keep on fighting because you know how much your love is worth and that AJ is someone worth all of it”

“Thanks Kevin” said Kiseop wiping away his tears. “I’m sorry I keep annoying you with my love life drama”

Kevin chuckled. “Don’t sweat it! What are best friends for?”

…

Later on that night, Kiseop kept tossing and turning in his bed. He kept looking at his phone, hoping for some sort of message to appear from his boyfriend. Refreshing his emails for the hundredth time that day he knew he should just forget about it but the problem was that he couldn’t. The more he tried to force his mind to think of anything else other than AJ, the more his boyfriend would appear in his thoughts. Thinking back to his earlier conversation with Kevin, something he had said stuck out in his mind; You keep on fighting because you know how much your love is worth. The more Kiseop had heard the sentence in his head, the more it was awakening a flame with him. Jumping out of bed, he headed towards his closet and drawers and started pulling out a bunch of clothes and shove them in his suitcase. Kiseop knew what he had to do and mentally slapped himself for not thinking of doing something sooner.

 In the next room Kevin suddenly awoke when he heard a sudden loud noise. Freaking out that someone was trying to rob them, he started shaking his love awake.

“Eli! Eli” said Kevin in a panicked whisper when he heard another noise.

“Mmm?” grumbled Eli back to him.

“Eli, I think someone is trying to break in”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s probably Soohyun and Hoon coming back from their date”

Another noise.

“Eli!” Kevin whined. “Please get up”

“It’s just the wind babe, stop being paranoid”

Kevin groaned knowing Eli was going to be of no use. Slowly he opened their bedroom door, looking around he saw no lights on and the door to Soohyun and Hoon’s room to be closed meaning that they had already returned. Tip toeing out into the lounge, he could vaguely see a figure moving against the moonlight creeping through the windows. Turning on the lounge room light, he was even more shocked not to see a robber but Kiseop all dressed up ready to leave.

“Kiseop?!” Kevin exclaimed not caring that he might wake up the others. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m leaving” he simply replied.

“What do you mean you’re leaving? Where are you going?”

“I have to do this. It’s something I should have done a long time ago”

“Wait! No!” said Kevin clutching into Kiseop’s hand. “Shouldn’t you think this through?”

“I did. It was because of what you had said. I need Jaeseop to believe in us again. Hell, I even need us to believe again”. Kevin, still clutching onto Kiseop’s hand, didn’t know how to respond.

“Hey Kevin, you catch that thief?” said Eli stopping in his tracks as he saw Kevin and Kiseop standing by the front door. “What’s going on?”

“I’m going to see AJ” said Kiseop.

“What?! Are you serious?” exclaimed Eli.

“Yes, very. Now can you tell your boyfriend to let go of me?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea Kiseop” said Kevin.

Kiseop was starting to get mad. “Why not? Am I not allowed to go visit my own boyfriend?”

“No… it’s not that. It’s just…”

“What Kevin means to say is that shouldn’t you wait until morning at least? I mean we’re still in the middle of promotions and I’m sure everyone will notice if you’re not around. At least let management know where you’re going so they don’t worry” said Eli.

“You just don’t get it Eli. I’ve waited a whole year, I patiently sat here and waited for him. I just can’t wait anymore” exclaimed Kiseop tugging his hand out of Kevin’s grasp.

“What the heck are you three yelling about at this godforsaken hour?!” exclaimed a pissed off Soohyun with Hoon trailing behind him.

“Kiseop why do have your suitcase?” asked Hoon.

Soohyun looked towards the suitcase and back to Kiseop. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to America. To bring my boyfriend home”

Hoon stared nervously at Soohyun, waiting for what their leader’s response would be. Soohyun on the other hand just closed his eyes and smirked.

“Not alone you won’t”

“What?” the others all exclaimed.

“No, Soohyun. I need to do this by myself”

“Don’t be ridiculous Kiseop-ah” said Soohyun.

“Let’s be honest here, no offence but you wouldn’t last one day in New York by yourself” said Eli.

Kiseop considered this and knew that Eli was correct, considering he didn’t know where AJ actually lived and also the fact that his English wasn’t the greatest in the group either. But of course he wouldn’t say out loud that Eli was right. Plus the added support wouldn’t be too bad either.

“So what do we do now?” asked Hoon.

“We’ll bring him back together” replied Soohyun.