The atmosphere at the restaurant was awkward and tense to say the least. Everyone apart from AJ knew that Kiseop was up to something, all things considered they tried to stay as normal as possible. Eli had asked Kevin if he knew anything about Kiseop’s sudden change in behaviour but Kevin himself was just as stumped as the rest.

“So Jaeseop, how long until your semester is over?” Hoon asked trying to kill the awkwardness at the table.

“Not long actually. Just got a couple of exams to go and then I’ll be on semester break.” AJ replied handing his menu back to the waiter.

“Any new music you’ve been working on?” Soohyun asked.

AJ was about to answer his question when he was suddenly distracted. He watched Kiseop lean in close to the waiter who was standing next to him taking down everyone’s orders. AJ felt a pang of anger flow through his body as he watched Kiseop use that stupid husky, flirty, amazing voice on someone that wasn’t him.

“Jaeseop? Jaeseop? Yo Jaeseop-ah!” Soohyun exclaimed nudging AJ. “Were you even listening to me?”

“Uh, what?” AJ replied.

Soohyun tsked and asked his question again.

“I have a few bits and pieces here and there, but I’ve just lost the inspiration to finish them.”

“Maybe a change of scenery would do you some good.” Soohyun suggested.

“What do you mean?” AJ asked.

“Come back to Korea with us” Soohyun replied.

“What? No way!”

Soohyun raised his eyebrow at him. “Why not? Too American for us?”

“No, no it’s not that,” AJ replied waving his hands in defence. “It’s just…I need the distance”

Soohyun sighed knowing what he meant. “You’ve had a year’s worth of distance Jaeseop-ah”

AJ didn’t respond. He knew that he had no one to blame but himself and he knew it was effecting not only him but the rest of the group. He never thought of himself as a selfish kind of person, but with this he had to be.

Kiseop glanced over to AJ hoping that he had noticed what he was doing, as he looked, he could see AJ staring into space and Kiseop swore that he could see his eyes were looking rather glossy. Kiseop knew that maybe he should just talk to AJ man to man and just clear the air with him. He was hurt, angry, confused and a part of him wanted to punish AJ for acting like a complete to him. Kiseop hated the thought of making someone he loved so dearly suffer, it wasn’t in his DNA to be that guy. But if this is what it would take to make AJ fight for him, fight for them, he would do it.

“Wow!” Kiseop suddenly exclaimed, “I didn’t realise how cute the waiters in New York are!”

Everyone stopped their conversations and stared at Kiseop as the latter just sipped on his water nonchalantly.

“Don’t you think so AJ?” Kiseop asked. AJ stared at Kiseop, noticing how his lips were slowly twitching upwards.

“Oh Jesus!” mumbled Kevin into Eli’s shoulder.

“Um…I…I don’t know.” AJ replied softly.

“Actually now that I think of it, there are a lot of cute guys here. Even your friend, what was his name again? Oh Andy that’s right! He was pretty cute himself. Maybe you could introduce us.” Kiseop said boldly. The other four were just sitting silent, eyes going back and forth between Kiseop and AJ as if they were watching the most awkward and uncomfortable tennis match in the world.

Kiseop thought what he had said was pretty brave of him knowing that in reality he couldn’t care less about the waiter, or AJ’s friend or anyone else in the state. One guy that was enough for him, just wanted to be his friend. What Kiseop wasn’t prepared for was the reaction he got from AJ.

You’re lying Kiseop. Thought AJ with a smirk of his own, not taking his eyes off Kiseop almost as if he was trying to enter his mind. Lying doesn’t suit you. I know what you’re trying to do, but don’t be that guy. Don’t try to fight me with this, it’ll only make you hurt more.

“I should get Andy’s number before we leave.” Kiseop thought to himself out loud.

AJ continued to stare at Kiseop.  Fine then, if this is what it takes to make me get through to you so be it. “Hey Soohyun!”

“Mmm?” Soohyun mumbled back with a mouthful of steak in his mouth.

“I think I’m going to take your advice.”

“What advice?”

“I think it’s time to go back home.” AJ replied.

….

The six members returned home to Korea, as they entered the dorm AJ couldn’t help but smile as nostalgia flooded through him also realising just how homesick he really was.

“As much as I loved being back home, I didn’t realise how much I missed this place.” Eli said plopping himself on the couch.

AJ smiled as he watched a jet lagged Kevin snuggle next to Eli on the couch, the latter grabbing the throw rug off the couch next to him and drape the sleeping boy. As he was watching the two, AJ was struck with a sudden realisation; the roommate arrangements. AJ’s smile had now turned into a grimace- when AJ left, he left on good terms with Kiseop, no problems, no worries. He knew that when he would come back everything would be just the way it was when he left. But even though he came back to a dorm looking picture perfect to his memory, he now had a heart condition and a ed up relationship because he didn’t want to bear any pain on Kiseop which AJ now believed was much worse than he imagined it to be because of the way Kiseop had responded to him and his words. There was no way he could just go back to sharing a room with him. He would need to be tied down to his bed to fight off every urge to jump into his bed and snuggle with him. The way that when either one of them couldn’t sleep they would talk about what the members would be doing in ten years’ time.  AJ couldn’t even begin on the way Kiseop would look at him with his big eyes and that beautiful and sincere smile when AJ would start talking about all the interesting stuff he learnt in his psychology classes even though he knew Kiseop was probably bored to death hearing about it. There was just absolutely no way he could go back where so many precious moments where held in the safety of those four walls.

“I think I’m going to sleep on the couch tonight.” AJ said.

“What? Why?” Eli asked.

“You know…” AJ mumbled.

“You can come sleep in my room and Kevin can bunk with Kiseop then.” Eli suggested.

AJ watched as Kevin’s hand s around Eli’s stomach. “No, you guys should have you’re room. Really, it’s fine.”

“Are you sure? I’m sure Kiseop won’t mind.”

“What won’t I mind?” Kiseop had suddenly emerged into the living room, almost on point.

Eli looked over at AJ who clenched his eyes close and muttered a few swears in English. “Do you mind if Kevin bunks with you tonight?”

Kiseop furrowed his brows. “Why isn’t he sleeping with you?”

Eli looked over at AJ waiting for him to answer the question, but the latter just stood their staring at the floor. Kiseop on the other hand registered why there was a sudden need to change sleeping arrangements, he felt both sad and guilty as he knew what was going on in AJ’s head.

“You deserve to sleep in your own bed AJ.” Kiseop said.

AJ snapped his head in Kiseop’s direction, not failing to notice the gentleness and sincerity in his voice. No arrogance, no ego, just gentle Kiseop. “A- Are you sure?”

“Of course I’m sure, why wouldn’t I be?”

“I…I just thought…that-“

“Relax AJ, we’re friends remember.” Kiseop said before saying goodnight to Eli.

…

AJ wheeled his luggage to his bedroom and was amazed at how even his things where just how he left them. He was secretly wishing all his stuff wasn’t already packed up and stored in boxes.

“I left all your stuff as it is because I wasn’t too sure when you would be coming back.” Kiseop said.

“Thanks.” AJ mumbled. He was expecting all his stuff to be covered in a thick layer of dust, but not a single spec was found. Knowing the ever clean Kiseop, AJ couldn’t help but smile. “Thanks a lot.” He said much louder. Kiseop just smiles in return as he gathers his things and heads to the bathroom.

As AJ hears the door close behind him, he takes a more careful look around the room. He slowly makes his way towards Kiseop’s side of the room, not hiding the smile on his face when he sees everything all neat and tidy. He notices one of his perfume bottles is slightly on an angle on the shelf, poking out his index finger, he pushes the bottle back in line with the others. AJ groaned and then rubbed his face his hands, plopping himself down on Kiseop’s bed. He then notices something in the corner of his eye and AJ automatically can feel his stomach start to lurch. It was a giant plush toy of a cat that AJ had won for him on their last date together before he left for America. AJ hugged the toy bringing it close to his chest as he lay down on Kiseop’s bed, he closed his eyes and thought back to the memory of that day.

…

It had been the day before AJ was due to leave for his studies and the atmosphere in the group was bittersweet. While they were all happy for AJ to live his dream, they were all sad to see him go. Kiseop had been very quiet that day, more so than ever. AJ felt guilty for leaving him, he felt like he was being selfish for going away and leaving his boyfriend behind.

“Seopiiie!” AJ chimed as he entered the room he shared with Kiseop. The latter was sitting on his bed, just playing on his phone. AJ pouted as Kiseop didn’t glance in his direction. “What’s wrong babe?”

Kiseop the suddenly wrapped his arms around AJ tightly, burrowing his head into AJ’s chest. “I don’t want you to go.”

AJ gently patted Kiseop’s back, the pan of guilt growing even stronger. “Please forgive me. I hate that I have to leave you.”

Kiseop looked up at AJ. “No. AJ you don’t need to feel bad. This is your dream, I want you to live it. I just wish you didn’t have to leave me.”

AJ placed his hands on Kiseop’s cheeks, bringing him in close for a passionate kiss. Once they pulled apart AJ leaned in closer, their foreheads touching each other. “I will never leave you. I may not be around you, but I’m always here.”

Kiseop smiled as he wiped the tears away from his cheek. “I’m going to be a mess without you.”

“Don’t be silly. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Say, today is just about you and me. What do you want to do on our final date together?”

Kiseop slapped his hand against AJ’s chest. “Don’t say it like that. You make is seem like your dying.”

AJ laughed. “I’m sorry.” Wrapping his arms around Kiseop, rocking him back and forth. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Mmm…let’s recreate our first date!” Kiseop exclaimed.

AJ raised his eyebrow. “Oh? Any reason in particular?”

“I really enjoyed that day. It was such a good memory and probably one of the best days of my life.” Kiseop looked down to hide the blush that was forming on his cheeks.

“Anything for my Seopie!” AJj kissed him once again.

After the two shared a meal at a restaurant, they went for a walk along the strip further along from their dining spot. AJ was admiring the sea view when Kiseop suddenly cried out.

“Oh no! They got rid of it!”

“Huh?” AJ looked at where Kiseop was pointing at. When they were on their first date, they stumbled upon an open air cinema. AJ couldn’t remember what the movie was that they watched, he was too busy using the ‘cold breeze’ in the air to snuggle closer to Kiseop and take the opportunity to have his first kiss with him. The cinema was replaced with what looked like a fairground. AJ wrapped his arm around Kiseop’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, it could be our first date with a twist!”

“I guess you’re right. Besides, at least we can have our first kiss upon a Ferris wheel!” Kiseop said with sudden excitement.

After going on some rides, the two decided to test their luck with some of the arcade games. Kiseop stopped AJ when he spotted a large black cat plush toy hanging from the ceiling of the kiosk. “Aw, it’s so cute! It kinda reminds me of you!”

AJ walked over to the man and handed him some money. “Watch the master.”

Kiseop giggled, he knew that AJ wasn’t very good with his hand eye coordination. “AJ you don’t have to do this.”

AJ took a few steps back giving him enough space to swing the rings, he only got three shots. The first two were big misses, he was about to throw the third one when he stopped, AJ turned to Kiseop and put the plastic ring in front of him. “Kiss it.”

“What?”

“Kiss it. For luck!”

Kiseop made a face. “Are you serious?”

“Yeah…what’s the problem?”

“It’s dirty.”

“It’s not dirty, it’s romantic.”

“No it’s not.” Kiseop made the face again.

“Look, I know how you are about my sweaty hands. So what if tastes a little salty?” AJ joked.

Kiseop punched his arm. “Yah!”

“Come on babe! Just do it!” AJ gave him his best pleading eyes.

Kiseop couldn’t help but smile. “Okay fine!” He quickly pecked the ring and scrunched up his face.

AJ turned back around to the game and threw ring, unfortunately missing wildly yet again. “Damn it!”

“Sorry! Better luck next time.” The man running the game said.

“Yah you made me kiss that stupid ring for nothing!” Kiseop exclaimed playfully hitting at AJ’s chest. AJ couldn’t help but laugh at Kiseop, the look of disgust only making him cuter than anything else.

Calming down after his laughing fit, AJ grabbed Kiseop’s hands from his chest. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’ll give you a kiss that tastes even better.” Pulling Kiseop in closer, he placed long and gentle kiss on his lips. Kiseop responding almost instantly, not resisting to sneak his tongue in the other’s mouth.

“Come let’s go get something to eat. I need to rid that plastic taste.” Kiseop said.

AJ gave him a look of fake mockery. “Was my kiss not sweet enough?”

“Mmm, it was. But I want cake and I want you to buy it for me.” Kiseop replied sticking out his tongue running off from AJ.

AJ laughed again watching his boyfriend run off to the food stall. He turned around and looked back up at the toy cat. “Um excuse me.” AJ said to the man running the stall.

“Yes, what is it son?”

“How much for it?” AJ asked pointing up to the toy.

The man chuckled. “I can’t just give out the toys. There’s no fun in that.”

“Please. It’ll make my boyfriend really happy.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Please sir. I’ll do anything! I’m an idol I can give you my autograph!”

The man laughed again and waved his hands. “No, no. That’s fine. I’ll give it to you free of charge!”

AJ clasped his hands together. “Really?!”

“Yes son. I think you two make a cute couple. And I did happen to see the slight disappointment when you didn’t make it the third time.”

“Thank you so much sir. Are you sure you don’t want anything for it?”

“Don’t worry about it. Just make sure you never let that boy go.” The man said with a wink.

…

After Kiseop had his fill of strawberry cake, the two decided end their date on the Ferris wheel.

“Thanks for everything today.” Kiseop said hugging his new favourite toy.

“Anything for you.”

Kiseop instantly felt his eyes start to tear up and used the plush toy to hide his face.

“Hey now,” AJ said moving from his seat to sit next to Kiseop tugging the toy away from his face. “No tears okay.”

“I love you AJ. I love you so much.” Kiseop said between sobs.

AJ felt his own eyes start to tear. He hated leaving Kiseop behind when this person was his constant source of happiness. AJ hated feeling responsible for Kiseop’s tears. “I love you more.”

Kiseop just buried his head into AJ’s chest again, the two just stayed like that for a long time, enjoying the silence and the comfort of each other.

“Hey, it’s not all bad. You have this fella to keep you company while I’m gone.” AJ said trying to lighten the mood.

“He is pretty cute.” Kiseop said. He held up the toy next to AJ and darted his eyes back and forth comparing the two. “He’s even cuter than you!”

“Yah!” AJ replied snatching the toy off him. “You want to repeat what you just said?” AJ was now threating to throw the toy out the bars of the ride cart.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Kiseop said. “Not after all that trouble you went to get it.”

“Depends on what you’re answer is.”

Kiseop placed himself in AJ’s lap. “It’s you Seopie. It’ll always be you.” No more words needed to be said, Kiseop wrapped his arms around AJ’s neck and gave him a passionate kiss.

…

By the time Kiseop had returned from his shower, he was startled at the sight in front of him. AJ was sleeping on his bed snuggled with the toy cat firmly in his grasp. Kiseop’s heart started beating rapidly at the sight of the sleeping boy. Stepping closer to the bed, he could hear the light snoring coming from AJ, knowing that he was fully knocked out. Kiseop couldn’t help but stare at AJ, looking so peaceful and content as he slept. He wouldn’t dare to try to wake him up, all Kiseop did was cover them both up with the blanket and gently kiss AJ goodnight.