Amber turned her head to see her childhood friend, she wasn't sure if she heard right "What do you mean?"

The long haired girl felt that her eyes stung, she tried to hold her tears back "I told you that I moved because of circumstances..."

"Yes," Amber said shortly

Krystal bit her lip and continued "I didn't know, I was busy fighting the drugs for months, trying not to go back to using it. I did notice that my belly was getting bigger but I thought it was just the side effect of the drugs I took until one day I had cramps. It was so bad that my mom had to take me to the doctor and he told me that I was pregnant"

Amber had so many questions in her head but she decided to wait for Krystal to tell her story

"My mom wanted to get rid of it, she said she won't raise a bastard"

"Did you?" Amber said carefully

Krystal slowly shook her head "The doctor said the baby was healthy, it was small for her age but my pregnancy was fine. I didn't know what to do at first, I was barely out of my problems, I didn't want it to suffer because of me. I looked at myself in the mirror, it felt strange at first to think that there was a human being growing inside me. One day I felt it moved and I cried. My mom sent me away as I said I wanted to keep the baby, she sent me to her cousin on the countryside, there was nothing there, but she loved me. My aunt taught me how to cook, she took me to every doctor's appointments. I watched my baby grew, I saw her little fingers, her little feet, her heartbeat" 

Krystal's face turned gloomy as she continued "I was barely 9 months pregnant as my water broke. My aunt took me to the small hospital in the village. She called my mom as I was having cramps, the contractions were so painful. The doctor waited for a few hours but in spite of the contractions, there was no opening. They put me on iv to induce the labor but the progress was too slow. They sent me to another hospital because of the possible complications that might occur. It was a long 10 hours until I finally went into labor. My mom stayed by my side, she held my hand the whole time. I was so tired, I only remembered the doctor said he could see the top of my baby's head and told me to push. I passed out after that"

Amber saw tears started falling on her friend's cheeks. Her heart hurt seeing Krystal like that, she guessed that something happened to Krystal's baby. Amber wiped the tears on Krystal's cheek with her thumb

"It was a girl..." Krystal smiled and cried at the same time "I had a baby girl..."

"What happened?" 

"My mother said the placenta strangled her neck and she was small. She didn't cry, she was blue. The doctor tried to revive her but she didn't make it" 

Amber couldn't hold it anymore, she pulled Krystal in her arms and kissed the top of her head "I am so sorry"

Krystal placed her head on Amber's chest, crying her heart out "I wanted to be a good mother, Am. I was going to love her. I wanted to give her the love my mother never gave me..."

"I know you would" Amber held Krystal tighter

"I lost her. I didn't even get a chance to hold her in my arms. I didn't get a chance to say goodbye...My baby"

"I am so sorry, Krys"

Krystal's sobbed painfully on her friend's chest. A story she never told anyone before, a secret she kept deep inside. She remembered her mom took her to her baby's grave about a week later, she kneels down and stared at the fresh grass. She runs her hand on the tomb saying 'Jung Ha-Eun', her heart hurt so much but she ran out of tears. It hurt so much that she could barely breathe.

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