Sunggyu: 15 years old

Dongwoo: 14 years old

Woohuyn and Hoya: 13 years old

Sungyeol: 12 years old

Myungsoo: 11 years old

Sungjong: 10 years old

 

 

~°~°~ Woohyun ~°~°~

 

The delicious scent of beef cooking in the stove in front of me combined with the rice's one beside me calmed me down. It was so relaxing to be surrounded by silence and warm parfums. It was 7pm and as usual, I was preparing a good meal for my brothers. While I was waiting for the beef to be ready, I started humming a familiar song, a melody graved in my heart but long forgotten.

 

“A person who is with me, a person who will keep being with me

I don't want to lose you until the world ends”

 

It's been so long that I did not sing this sweet song. It brought my thoughts back to the happy days when our family was still smiling. I remembered that day at the amusement parc, when the seven of us made the promise to be together, the one to be Infinite. This song was this promise and despite all the events that had happened to this family, my heart had not forgotten this song, the promise had not faded away. Never. I felt myself being filled with love, my heart was lighter and I let my voice out.

 

“I can only dream as long as you're here

Because the world I draw out starts with you”

 

While the sweet words escaped my mouth, I felt better and stronger. This promise, I would fight for it with all of my heart. As I was submerged with past memories in my bubble, a voice pulled me out from behind.

 

“It has been so long that I didn't hear you sing so freely, Hyunie.”

 

I turned around, surprised and saw Sunggyu-hyung on the threshold of the kitchen.

 

“Hyung! Welcome home. I didn't expect you to come back so early.”

 

“I know, the boss told me to leave earlier today, so surprise!”

 

I went to hug him and made him sit at the table. It's been a few months that Gyu-hyung had found a job as a waiter in a restaurant. Usually, they did not accept boys under eighteen but I guessed that hyung had been convincing and hardworking then they kept him. He gave up on so many things in order to keep us alive, even school. So I was glad that at least he was doing great at his job.

 

“Are the kids home yet?”

 

“Not Hoya, but the others are upstairs.”

 

“What about … father?”

 

“He is not back either, surprisingly.”

 

“Indeed, it's surprising!”

 

“We won't complain about it, will we?”

 

“No, you're right. Let's just enjoy the night then.”

 

I smiled to him before reporting my attention to the beef that was almost ready. It was silent for a little while but it was a good silence, a relaxing one, a reassuring one. I felt safe here, in this kitchen that I loved so much and with my dear hyung that would always protect us.

I felt a presence just behind my back, but did not turn around as I knew who it was. Sunggyu-hyung was glancing over my shoulder. I giggled before holding a piece of beef up to his mouth with my chopsticks. He ate it up without any hesitation as I waited for his comment.

 

“Mmh, so delicious. You really are cooking just like Mom.”

 

I smiled happily. That was the best comment that he could ever say to me. He swallowed the piece of beef and leaned next to the stove.

 

“I have another surprise.” He simply said before pulling a thick envelope from behind his back.

 

“Your pay? But it's not the end of the month yet!”

 

“I know. But it's a gift from the boss. I worked hard the other night for the feast so he gave me a supplement for this month.”

 

“That's awesome, hyung!”

 

I hugged him again and he laughed through my hair. I was so proud of him. He was doing so much for us, I would always stand by his side and support him the best that I could.

I released him and he gently ruffled my hair before reaching for the cupboard where we kept the cereals for breakfast. At the very back, we had hidden our money box. Even if father gave us some money each month, it was not enough for the seven of us to survive. Plus, we had to save for an appartment for when Sunggyu-hyung would be twenty years old and then we would leave this house. There were five more years to go before we could get out of this hell.

The money box was not full but there were already a great amount in it. I did not know much about the cost of life but I thought that it was already great to save so much. Sunggyu-hyung seemed to worry about something though when he looked inside the box but as soon as I asked him what it was, he just brushed it away and replaced the treasure behind the cereals. I did not want to push him further more so I just returned to my beef and rice.

 

After a few more minutes, the dinner was finally ready and we all gathered around the kitchen table to eat. Hoya had still not come back and I started to worry about him but Dongwoo-hyung reassured me quickly. I smiled and sat next to Sungjongie but I could not take my mind off my missing brother.

It had been a few days now that he was avoiding us, especially me. I just had this bad feeling that he could be involved in some kind of troubles. Or was I just paranoid? The fear was filling my stomach and I was losing my appetit the more I thought about it. Looking at my brothers eating hungrily and happily, I was relieved that at least five of them were doing well.

I excused myself and left the kitchen, wanting to go to bed in order to calm myself down. None of them questionned me and they just watched me heading upstairs.

As I was about to step on the stairs, the front door opened and closed quickly before Hoya passed by me without a look. I gripped his wrist before he could disappear again and took a look at his face. He had dried blood at the corner of his lips. My heart instantly dropped.

 

“Hoya, where were you? Why are you bleeding? Are you okay?”

 

“Let me go, Woohyun” He replied coldly, sending shiver along my spine.

 

“What happened?”

 

“It's none of your business.”

 

Avoiding my eyes, he forcefully pulled his wrist out of my grip and ran to his room. I was left there, my heart breaking into a million of pieces. Why would he refuse my help? Was I that useless to him that he would not consider me anymore? Was I that weak?

As my tears were streaming down my cheeks and I was focused on my breathing in order to not choke myself out, someone took me in his arms and lead me to my room then my bed. I could take a glimpse of Dongwoo entering in his and Hoya's room when we passed by their door and it killed me a little bit more. He had refused my help but not Dongwoo's one. Why? Wasn't I able to do it too?

 

“Ssshh, it's okay Woohyunie, breath, sssh...”

 

Before I knew it, I was laying in my bed with Sunggyu-hyung beside me, my hair gently. While I was crying my heart out, he calmly stayed there, taking care of me and reminding me to breath. I finally calmed down after a while but he remained there, his warm hand on my head.

 

“Don't ever think that you're weak or useless Hyunie.”

 

“But then why would he ignore me then? And how do you know … ” I cried as some tears fell again, unable to finish my sentence.

 

“Ssshh... you're my brother, I know exactly what you think, but that's not the point. Hoya is not avoiding you. He is scared to face you.”

 

“I don't understand...”

 

“Woohyun, you have the amazing capability to read in each one of us like we were opened books just at looking at our eyes. I don't know what is up with Hoya either but he is just not ready to tell us and is scared that you would find it out just by looking at him. Let him some time. He will come to you and explain himself.”

 

“Is that true?”

 

“Did I ever lie to you?”

 

I shake my head vigorously and he giggled before patting lightly my head.

 

“So trust me and Dongwoo. And please don't think of yourself as weak ever again. You're so strong, Hyunie. You're our shoulder on which we can all rest a while when things are difficult to handle. You're our safe place to come back to.”

 

His voice was so deep and full of sincerity. My eyelids felt heavy and I just let myself fall in his tender warmth where everything was so calm and right. The safe place where they would come back to? So I hoped that Hoya would not get lost and that he would come back to me. Because without him, my heart, my family, was not complete.

 

The next morning, when I opened my eyes, Sunggyu-hyung was still by my side, deeply asleep. I stayed there a while, watching him breathing peacefully. Everything was always so calm and easy with him. He really was incredible.

After a few more minutes, I decided to get up and to make some pancakes for breakfast as we were saturday. I silently went downstairs, checking that father was not home and sighing in relief when I noticed that he did not even come back the night before. In the kitchen, I pulled all of the ingredients out of the cupboard and started to mix everything.

The warm sunlight was pouring through the window as I was preparing the pancakes on the stove. Once again, I breathed deeply in the peaceful atmosphere. The silent kitchen and the delicious scent of food surrounding me were really my haven.

Eventhough I was deep in my thoughts, I was still aware of what was happening around me. So it was natural for me to know exactly who had just entered in the kitchen. The heavy but steady steps, the powerful but controlled aura that was surrounding the person, the scent of strength and safety embrassing every corner of the room. Only Hoya had this presence. I did not have to turn around to know that he was standing just behind me, starring at my back.

I remembered the words that Sunggyu-hyung had told me the night before. I should not stress Hoya out. He would talk to me when he would be ready. So I did not turn around to look at him. I kept cooking the breakfast while he was still looking at me. And everything felt into places again. The sunlight, the scent of food and our presences, loving and caring.

As I was amost done with the pancakes, still without turning around, I broke the peaceful silence.

 

“Can you set the table, Hoya, please?”

 

He did not respond to me but I heard him walking around the room to put the dishes. After a few minutes, all of the noises slowly faded away, including the cooking ones. I was done but I did not have the courage to face him. I was afraid that he would run away from me, again. Though, I did not need to be more concern when he finally spoke to me. How I missed his reconforting voice.

 

“I'm sorry for yesterday, Hyunie.”

 

“It's okay.”

 

“I shouldn't push you away like that.”

 

“You have your own reasons, Hoya. You don't have to explain yourself.”

 

“Yes I have to. I hurt you. And it's unforgivable.”

 

I felt his strong arms around me and I let myself sink into his warmth. I missed it.

 

“Don't feel guilty about it, Hoya. It's really okay. I wasn't expecting you to push me away like that but I understand now and I forgive you.”

 

He tighted his grip around me, as if I could vanish just there. And I smiled. Everything was definitly okay.

I finally turned around and gazed into his deep brown eyes. I saw there all the weight that he had been bearing all of this time. The pain, the saddness and … the guilt. He felt guilty because he was lying to us. But he was lying for a good reason. I knew it and I totally accepted it.

 

“Please Hoya, don't feel guilty about anything. Whatever you're doing, wherever you're going, as long as you come home, it's all okay. You don't have to explain yourself now. Do it when you will feel ready to do so and I will be here to listen to you. Always.”

 

“Woohyun … ”

 

“It's okay, it's all okay.”

 

It was my turn to hug him, tightly. I heard him sighing with relief. I trusted him to come back home, to come back to me everytime.

 

That night, after a quiet and joyful saturday between just the seven of us, we all gathered in the youngests room to put them into bed. It had been a long time that we could not enjoy our day as today. I missed my brothers smiles so much. The sound of their laughter, it was so good to hear them again.

As Sungjong just closed his eyes and drifted to dreamland along with Myungsoo and Sungyeol, a loud slamming door woke them up and scared all of us. No, he was back. Everything was so calm and perfect but he had to be back and destroyed everything.

Growls, screams and broken things resounded downstairs and by reflex, we all run to the closet and stayed there. The kids were trembling in fear in my arms. Father was espacially violent tonight. Nothing good would happen if we confronted him, if Hoya and Sunggyu-hyung faced him.

When I saw the two of them getting up and closing the closet doors, I could not bear it. I could not let them go out there, not tonight. The dread that was suffocating me was even stronger tonight and I just could not let the two of them leaving us. Just not tonight.

So I jumped up and pulled them back with my shaking hands. They were surprised first that I stopped them but maybe was it in my eyes, or the tears that started falling down on my cheeks, but they understood.

 

“Please, please. Not tonight. Just not now, please.” I begged them with all my heart.

 

I could not let them go.

 

“Okay, it's okay Hyunie. We won't go tonight.” Sunggyu-hyung gently whispered.

 

He took me in his arms while I calmed my sobbing down. Without realizing it, all of my brothers joined the hug and we all stayed like this a little bit, in this loving haven while the unstoppable storm was ragging outside our room.

It was almost as if we were just the seven of us, in this warm and lovely room. I was so tempted to think so. But a loud bang broke the moment and we were back to the harsh reality. The screams of our father on the other side of the door were inhuman. I even thought that with the strength he put in banging on the door would destroy it. We were all trembling in fear. Why was he so wroth tonight? What happened?

But before I could let the negativ thoughts taking over my mind, Sunggyu-hyung got up, his eyes determined as ever.

 

“Don't be afraid guys, he will never pass this door.”

 

And those simple words were so reassuring, so safe. I got up too and forgot about the fright invading my head. I wiped my dried tears before speaking up.

 

“Come on guys, let's set up in a corner. He will eventually go away.” I said, finding my calm back.

 

Sunggyu-hyung smiled at me and helped me with the pillows and the blankets. We built a confortable corner for the others and then all gathered there in a tight embrace, under the silver moon.

After a few more minutes, father finally got tired of punching on our door and left for who knew where. But even if the calm was back, the kids were still shaking in fear. I tried to reassure them the best that I could with gentle words but it seemed to not work tonight. They were too afraid. It was then that I got the idea. What if I distracted them with a story about our childhood? I knew they always loved to hear about our past, when happiness was still existing in this house.

 

“Hey guys, do you want me to tell you about the most funny memory that I have with you?” I asked them.

 

“What is it?” Hoya demanded, curious.

 

“It was one of those saturday, when we went to the market with Mom.” I started.

 

“Oh, I think I know where it is going.” Dongwoo-hyung laughed.

 

I was sur he did because it was one of the best memory that I had about the seven of us with Mom.

 

“Jongie could barely walk at that time and Myungie and Yeolie just learnt to talk. While the three of you were in the shopping cart, the four of us were walking by your side.” I went on.

 

“Oh yeah, their three baby faces were so puffy and cute!!” Dongwoo exclaimed and we all laughed at his comment.

 

“Mom was focused on her list and only grabbed what needed and moved on. At a moment, she let the cart behind her and went down an alley. Sungjong saw her leaving him and I guess that he was scared so he started crying and making a mess.”

 

“The maknae making his hyungs lives a hell.” Sunggyu-hyung stated and again, laughter resounded.

 

“As Jongie was making to much noise, I took him out of the cart and hoped that he would calm down in my arms but instead, he struggled and ran away.”

 

“But didn't you just tell that I could barely walk?” Sungjong asked me, curious.

 

“Yeah, but I guess that you're a fast learner and just ran away.”

 

“Oh yeah, I remember now how we followed him in all the market in order to stop him.” Hoya added.

 

“Yup, just imagine Gyu-hyung, Hoya and me running behind the little Sungjongie while Dongwoo-hyung was pushing the cart with Sungyeol and Myungsoo laughing so hard in it.”

 

“That was surely a memorable moment!” Dongwoo said.

 

After we laughed again and again, Sungyeol, Myungsoo and Sungjong finally fell asleep in the middle of us. And while we were watching on them peacefully, I remembered a detail that I did not evoke before at the end of my story.

 

“You guys remember after that incident in the market, when we were on our way back home, in the car? The three of them fell asleep so quickly, exactly just like now.”

 

“Yeah, and they had the exact same peaceful expression as now.” Sunggyu-hyung added quietly.

 

“They are still so young and fragile. I'm so afraid of what can happen to them later.” Dongwoo-hyung revealed his concerns.

 

“It's okay, we are their hyungs and we will protect them, always.” Hoya reassured.

 

“Yes, as long as we are the seven of us, together, everything will be fine.” I whispered, before we all drifted to our own dreams.

 

Mine were full of them by my side at home.

 

 

~°~°~ Dongwoo ~°~°~

 

The first time I learnt about Hoya's secret, it was a raining night. It was the first time that he came back late at home and even if everyone already felt asleep long ago, I was still wide awake in my bed. Seeing the bed beside mine empty was hauting me. I just could not close my eyes.

When the door cracked open and a shadow slipped through it, I sat up and I saw my brother froze in front of me.

 

“Hyung?” He whispered carefully.

 

“Where the hell were you Hoya? Do you know what time it is?” I stated, turning the light on.

 

But what I saw shocked me. My brother's face had blood rolling down from his eyebrow and his lips. His clothes were covered by dust and more blood and his hands were so injured. I immediately panicked and stood up by his side in order to help him to sit down.

 

“Oh my god, Hoya, what happened? Did you fight at school? Is that why you didn't want to go home sooner because Sunggyu-hyung and Woohyun would scold you? What do I do? I should call Woohyun, he will know how to treat ...”

 

“No, please, hyung! Don't call anyone. Just … get the first aid kit and I will bandage myself.” He pleaded.

 

He looked so scared and miserable. I just did what he told me to and got the first aid kit. I bandaged his hands and took care of his bruised face. All the while, we stayed silent. Him because he was surely afraid to be in trouble and me because I did not want to push him too much. I would respect his silence if he decided to not mention anything about tonight to me, even if I was worried and curious.

As I was about to go back to my bed, after treating his injuries without any explanation, Hoya hold my wrist back suddenly.

 

“Wait, hyung. I … I guess I own you some explanations.”

 

“You do. But if you don't want to talk about it now, it's okay. I can wait.”

 

“No … It's too late anyway. I have to tell you … ”

 

“Tell me what?”

 

“I … These injuries … it's because I tried to gain some money.”

 

“You stole someone?! Hoya, it's not the right way to do that!!”

 

“No!! Hyung, no, I will never steal from anyone! I … Tonight I tried to fight in the street in order to win the money that they offered.”

 

“Hoya … No, it's too dangerous, you can't do that!”

 

“It's the only way hyung! Sunggyu-hyung's work will never be enough. And did you see the amount of money in the box? It's not even enough to pay one treatment for Myungsoo. I can't just sit back and do nothing. I endured dad for so long, these injuries are nothing. I can do it, hyung.”

 

“But still, it's too dangerous. I … I can't let you hurt yourself like this, you can just take a job or I don't know but not the street fighting.”

 

“There are a lot of money to win for each battle. Tonight was the first time so I wasn't prepared but I assured you, hyung, I will win and it will help us. I promise. Just … trust me, please.”

 

Were we so desperated? Could I let that happen to my brother? I guess that we indeed needed more money. And his eyes were so pleading. I sighed heavily

 

“Alright, as long as you don't have any deep wound. But please, be careful and don't take too much risk. It's not worth it. Your life is much more important.”

 

“I know hyung. Thank you. It's really just to help Sunggyu-hyung a little bit.”

 

I smiled to him and we finally went to bed. Sunggyu-hyung was doing so much for us. I guessed I would have to find some way to help him too.

 

The second time that Hoya came back home from a street fighting was only a week later. But that night, when he cracked the door of our room open and slipped in, he had a big smile on his face.

 

“I won tonight hyung!” He announced me excitidly.

 

It was only one fight and he had lost the second one but he was putting so much effort in this and was winning little by little. I guess that next time, he would win twice.

I treated him like the other night and told him to sleep while I would go downstairs and put the money in the box. He agreed and as soon as his head touched his pillow, he was already far away in his dreams.

I smiled proudly at him then took the money and went in the kitchen. I was being as soundless as possible and reached the cupboard where our money box was without any problem. I put the thick bundle of banknotes in the box and closed the cupboard.

But as soon as I turned around, a shadow surprised me just at the threshold of the room.

 

“Oh my … Sungguy-hyung, I almost have a heart attack. Couldn't you make some noise when you arrived?”

 

“What were you doing, Dongwoo?” He ignored my comment.

 

I was in troubles. Nervousness took me at the throat and I was feeling trapped.

 

“Hum … I … I was looking for a glass. I'm thirsty. Do you want some water too, hyung?”

 

“Stop it Lee Dongwoo. You don't know how to lie. What are you doing here in the middle of the night?”

 

Did he just say my full name? Okay I was definitly in deep troubles. I swallowed with difficulty.

 

“I … I return you the question. Why are you awake now?”

 

“I heard Hoya coming back home. I never sleep until the six of you are home. What are you two up to? He came back late last week too.”

 

“Hum … I … can't tell you, hyung … ”

 

“Why? Or at least, give me some explanation to the amount of money that you just put in the box.”

 

He was so insisting. I could not just leave without telling him anything. I sighed loudly.

 

“Well, hum … it's just that you're doing so much for us but … with Myungsoo's treatments, the money … ”

 

“I know, it's still not enough.”

 

“Yeah and we don't want you to kill yourself by working too hard so we decided to help you too.”

 

“How?”

 

“Hoya will tell you himself about his doings when he will be ready. He … is afraid that you would scold him.”

 

“I won't.”

 

“Just let him time, okay? And trust him. He will be fine.”

 

“Okay. And what about you?”

 

“I … heard that there are some games with money to win after school, in the lockers room.”

 

“What kind of games?”

 

“I don't know. I wanted to try tomorrow evening. But I think it's some cards games.”

 

For a while, he was not saying anything and I was worried. Maybe he was upset. Maybe it was not a great idea. He kept starring at me, his eyes piercing through my mind, as if he was reading all of my thoughts.

 

“Thank you guys.” He finally whispered, relieved.

 

“Wh … what?”

 

“Thank you for helping me. I was starting to be anxious about the amount of money in the box. I was asking myself if I was doing enough for you.”

 

“Hyung, of course you're doing enough! And more than that. You gave up so much for us. We told you that we will help you with this burden. You don't have to bear it alone.”

 

“I know, thank you. I respect your silence, but please, whatever you're going to do, be careful and be safe.”

 

“We know. Don't worry about us, hyung.”

 

I smiled to him and got closer. He looked so tired and fragile at this moment. I took him in my arms, in a tight embrace and hoped that he would never forget that we were by his side, helping him. Because we were a family and we could only count on ourselves from now on.

 

 

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Hey guys!! Welcome to my new subbies, thank you for being here, I hope that you will love this adventure with me^^ 
Sorry, for taking so long with this chapter. Honnestly, I'm trying to put my life back on track lately so it's a little bit difficult for me to find some time to write. But everything is fine now so I hope to be back more often ;)

Thank you so much for your patience and for being here with me!! I hope that you liked this chapter^^ Let me know about your opinions^^

See you soon, love you all so much <3