‘’ No, anything but that. Please Minyoung no.’’ I pleaded her for the upteenth time.

‘’ Those are my conditions.’’

‘’ I can’t. You’re doing this on purpose aren’t you? You know I’ll probably break down in tears once I see him again. You’re hoping I’ll change my mind and stay. But I can’t…… I won’t. It’s too hard for me, please understand!’’

‘’ I just want you to be sure of your decisions. I want you to look at him and ask yourself if you don’t still love him.’’

I scoffed ‘’ Is that what you think this is? That I don’t love him anymore? Of course I still love him! That’s the reason I have to leave! I honestly don’t think I could ever completely stop loving him. But you know what, even though I still love him, it hurts too much! It hurts to think that he betrayed me. That even though I gave him all I could it wasn’t enough for him! That I wasn’t enough for him! These last few months she was the source of his happiness, not me! It’ll just end up hurting more if I try to stay with someone whom I don’t even make happy anymore!’’ My eyes started to get watery

‘’ I’m sorry. I know you still love him and I can’t even begin to understand how hard it must be for you. I just don’t want you to leave anything unsaid. People tend to regret the things they didn’t do or say more than the things they did.’’

You sighed ‘’ You’re right. But I can’t face him right now. I need more time.’’

‘’ Well, you don’t necessarily have to see him to say what you need to.’’

‘’ What do you mean?’’

‘’ How about you write him a letter? That way you don’t have to worry about breaking down in front of him. And you can take your time and get it all out. I’ll give it to him after you’ve already left.’’

………

Another week passed and everything was settled for me to leave the next day. Kris and Minyoung had taken care of my transportation and everything else. Chen and Xiumin tested my Korean. I had already resigned my job and Luhan had helped me pack what I was going to take with me. Tao helped clean the apartment for Lay to move back in since it was his too, and by ‘clean’ I mean begging me not to leave, acting moody, and finally crying saying he’d miss me while I actually cleaned. All that was left was the million balled up pieces of paper scattered around my desk. I still hadn’t finished the letter. I didn’t know what to say. My phone beeped several times and I saw several messages from my friends reminding you to get some sleep, check that I had packed everything, and that my plane takes off at 6am. I smiled sadly, thinking how much I would miss them. I started scrolling through the pictures I had taken this week to ensure I had at least one of each of them. I scrolled too far ahead, and suddenly, Lay’s face was smiling at me.

………….

It was 5am when I heard knocks on the door. I opened it to find the 4 guys there.

Tao took one look at me and shook his head ‘’ Did you even get any sleep?’’

‘’ No, is it that noticeable?’’

Chen chimed in ‘’ Yeah those dark circles are no joke!’’

I stuck out my tongue at him

Xiumin chuckled ‘’ Do you have everything ready?’’

‘’Yeah I just need to get ready real quick, since some people are being judgmental of my appearance!’’ I looked at Tao and Chen accusingly. They stuck their tongues out at me this time.

Luhan laughed ‘’ Ok well you get ready while we load your luggage into the car.’’

‘’Ok, hey where are Minyoung and Kris?’’

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