I finally composed myself and asked him to tell me everything. I needed to know. He sighed and agreed that I had a right to know. He told me how at first he didn’t really interact with her, but 1 month in they were put together to work on a project. They spent a lot of time together and even discovered that they had a lot in common and could talk to each other so easily. They became close. After the project was over they still talked to each other and mildly flirted with each other for around another month. One day he mistakenly left to work early thinking he was going to be late. That’s when he bumped into her walking into a new cafe. She corrected his mistake and since they were both there and they didn’t have to go in until later, she invited him to have a cup of coffee. After that they sort of just slipped into the habit of meeting each other at that time. He didn’t notice, or rather he was in sort of denial, how attracted he was to her. He tried to think of her as just a good friend and coworker. Suddenly the other night she invited him to dinner, and he agreed to go. They both drank a lot and he noticed she was being very ‘friendly.’ He offered to walk her home since it was late and she was drunk. Once they were in front of her house, he was about to say goodbye when she asked if ‘’this counted as their first date.’’ Before he could react she kissed him. He said that was all he remembered, he was so drunk that he must’ve out. The next thing he knew, he was back home and in bed with you. It wasn’t until now that he was in the shower, thinking about how he was going to be late to meet her for coffee, that he remembered everything. They were so drunk, and he just lost control. He had with her.

Throughout the whole story he was on his knees in front of meyou while I sat down staring at the wall with a stony expression on my face. But on the inside I was dying. It felt like someone was choking me the entire time, and when he got to the last part it was as if he had stabbed me.

‘’ I made a HUGE mistake, and I don’t think i can ever forgive myself for doing this and hurting you so much. But I don’t want to lose you either. Please….. I’ll do anything, just don’t leave me! Please, I love you” he said hugging my legs and putting his head on my lap. He started sobbing.

Hearing him cry like that only added to the pain I felt. I still love him, and that made this all worse. Tears started running down my face again, I wish I could just hate him. I want to forgive him. Seei