Free Man

I am NOT a nature enthusiast, period.

Living all my life in the metropolitan city Seoul turned me into a metropolitan man with no interest of nature—what Seoul have in natural aspect by the way? There’s no way I’d include small parks in the middle of this crowded and bustling city as an interesting natural aspect. With that lifestyle and mindset, I really didn’t make time to visit the countryside and just enjoying nature—which is provided by God as a blessing to us, His creatures.

Well, I know I did something foolish—who would waste God’s grand gift such as nature?—but my job as a writer worsen my view about traveling for nature. My job requires seeing a lot of people and observe their action, reaction, and feelings, and nature couldn’t provide that needs. Once I went to Gangwon-do and stayed a night there to enjoy nature and fresh air.

But I didn’t get satisfaction at all.

I couldn’t see people, their action, reaction, and feelings. What I saw there only trees, animals, mountain, rice fields, et cetera. From that single trip I made one conclusion: nature didn’t add any value for me as a writer.

Years passed since I made that conclusion, and along with time, my belief in that conclusion was changing slowly. Especially since I began traveling around Asia.

I began to admire nature and its peace, especially when I stayed in Okinawa and Phuket.

Local delicacies and hospitalities captivated me instantly. Yet, the best parts of Okinawa and Phuket are the blue ocean, the bright sky, the comforting sun rays, the white sands, and the fresh air.

Yeah, all of it are parts of nature. I’ve broken my own belief about nature and I had no regret for it.

But Okinawa and Phuket weren’t the highest point of my admiration towards nature.

The peak of my admiration towards nature appeared in Bali is when I walked through the rice terrace in Ubud—under the bright and clear blue sky nonetheless—while getting showered by comforting sun rays and accompanied by the sound of gentle breeze.

With Kim Taeyeon by my side.

“Kim Taeyeon!”

I yelled her name as I walked slowly to her place. She was sitting in a semi-permanent construction called ‘saung’ by the locals with her smartphone on her hand and headsets plugged on her ears. She was definitely typing something on her smartphone because even from afar, I could see crease formed on her forehead as a sign of concentration and her thumbs’ fast movement.

I didn’t try to call her again—I was afraid to disturb her—instead I just walked at the same pace to her place while looking around to my beautiful surrounding—both nature and human beings. When I arrived at her place, I sat quietly at the other side of her position.

At first, she didn’t notice my presence as she kept doing what she was doing before my arrival—writing on her smartphone. I didn’t say anything, just saw her by the side and took a cigarette from my pocket. A content smile formed on my lips as I took a drag of my cigarette.

Well, the cigarette’s smoke eventually made her alert of my presence. In seconds, she stopped her thumbs’ movement and looked up just to saw me right in front of her.

 “Whoa, Jiyong! You surprised me!” she said comically with her ahjumma-like voice. I laughed at that and kept smoking.

“Don’t bothered by me, Tae,” I continued to smoke. “Just do whatever you did before. I won’t disturb you because for once you look so serious.”

Taeyeon shook her head and put her smartphone back to her sling bag. She scooted closer next to me and looked at me with her curious stare.

Her stare screamed this sentence: ‘Tell me what had happened between you and Im Yoona, Jiyong!’ 

“What?” I asked dumbly. She knew that I had figured out what her stare means, but I played hard to get.

“Tell me!” Taeyeon crossed her hand on her chest. She perhaps forgot that she is 35 years old.

“Tell you what?” I still played hard to get and to amusement, Taeyeon pouted. “I’m really and genuinely curious Ji!”

I laughed. My laugh sounded so light and happy now. “Well, it went well.” I started. “I finally said my hidden feelings that I’ve been keeping all these years.”

“All of it?”

I nodded. “All of it.”

“Including that 3 stupid words?”

I nodded again. “Including that 3 stupid words.”

Taeyeon smiled at my words and tapped my shoulder lightly proudly. Her face somehow looked… Proud? Or happy? Well, I didn’t know—and care anyway—since I was busy with my happiness and I wouldn’t let anyone mess with it.

It was a kind of happiness I’ve been looking for the past 9 years.

“Well, how do you feel about that Ji?” Taeyeon asked me curiously. Without any notice, she took my cigarette pack which I put on the saung’s flooring. “Tell me.”

I raised a brow at her persistency. She wasn’t a person like this since day 1. When it comes to my past and my story, she usually let me talk at my pace—she even waited for me. Why the sudden change? “Why do you want to know Taeyeon? Why are you so curious?”

Taeyeon slipped a cigarette between her lips and took my lighter. She lit the cigarette and took a drag before answering. “I’ve seen your misery before you met her, Ji. It’s only natural for me—as your angel and helper—to know the final outcome of my help.” Taeyeon shrugged her shoulder and took another drag. “I want to know did I do the right thing to help you.”

Hearing her reason, I couldn’t help but smile. Well, she had her point there.

“I’m really glad that you pushed me to do so, Tae.” I took a final drag of my cigarette before throwing the cigarette to the ground. “It wasn’t easy to talk to her as you’ve expected, but I managed to do it.”

Taeyeon widened her smile as she kept smoking. I continued my chatter. “After I talk to her I felt the heaviest burden on my shoulder was lifted. My heart is finally at peace, my mind become clear, and my soul feels free…”

I took a really deep breath before saying this sentence. I’ve been waiting to say this since years ago and finally… I got to say this.

In front of Kim Taeyeon.

My angel. My helper. My heart’s guardian.

“I’m a free man, Kim Taeyeon.” I said in one breath as I looked straight to her eyes in one soft gaze.  She returned my gaze with a similar one—only softer and more mother-like. “I’m free to love anyone again…”

Taeyeon smiled wider at my last statement.  She must have been so happy too. “I’m really happy for you, Kwon Jiyong.”

I smiled at her words. She really looked like an angel with that pretty smile of hers—her smile is the type which would captivate man in a positive way. “Please love a special woman with all your heart. I hope she’ll feel the same towards you and both of you finally can find happiness.”

Our job as writer demand us to have good diction and wide range of vocabulary—in Korean and English, but her words are so special. It melts your heart effortlessly and elegantly. Her words can turn into quotations if you use it well.

“Thank you, Tae,” I said slowly—really mean every single word. I bowed my head deeply to show her my gratitude. “I really can’t thank you enough for doing all of these, Tae. Millions of thank you can’t express my gratitude for you. Even I don’t know what I did in my past life to be helped by an angel like you in this life.”

Taeyeon was flabbergasted at my action and words. She shook her hand in air, obviously felt what I said were exaggeration. “Really, don’t mind me.” She scooted closer to me—so our body were so close to each other—then forced my shoulder to rise. “I’m happy to help.”

“How can I repay you, Tae?” I suddenly asked. Well, it doesn’t mean I’ve never thought of return the favor to her—after all what she did to me and my life is so brave yet precious. I just thought this was the right time to ask.

“What?!” Shock was apparent in her face. She mustn’t have expected this coming. “You don’t need to do so, Ji. Being my travel buddy is more than enough.” She shrugged her shoulder and smiled casually. “Besides, I’m not a woman who seek payment nor advantages for myself.”

“Well, let me treat you then.” I didn’t have a heart to say yes to her suggestion. Instead, I strongly oppose that idea.

She did something I couldn’t do to myself for the past 9 years. She managed to push the coward yet selfish Kwon Jiyong to confess his heart content to the woman he loves for the past years.

She is a really amazing woman, isn’t she?

I put puppy eye gaze this time—hoping she’d say yes to my humble request. To respond it, she looked at me with raised eyebrow—that gaze which can be translated as ‘then-what-do-you-want-to-do?’ “This afternoon, tonight, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, and for the rest of our journey, let me take care of you.”

I kept looking at her with the same puppy eyes for a whole minute, while she was thinking about my preposition. She thought really hard, I could see her eyebrow creased playfully.

When she was thinking hard, I didn’t look to anything but her. Even though the “If you insist, monsieur.” She finally said with a small smile. I knew she wasn’t exactly happy with my request—she’s a very expressive woman anyway—but she knew she doesn’t have many choices. “I’ll be grateful in your care.”

Years after Yoona started her career as a chef, she opened restaurant of her own.

It’s a fine dining restaurant named SOIGNÉ that specializes in Korean fusion cuisine with French influence—a country that aspires her since we were kids—located in Banpo, Seoul.

Both I and Seunghyun attended the grand opening of the restaurant. The foods were great—of course! This is the great chef Im Yoona we’re talking about—the ambience was nice and elegant, the wine selections were amazing, but if I have to b