Loud laugh was coming from inside the house, where happy family lived with two children. The boys were playing together, while their mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner, from time to time looking at them with a smile. Father once again had to stay longer at work, but they have gotten used to that. Sometimes he even didn’t come back for the whole night, working really hard for his family, so they could live their best.

“Mom, he is teasing me again” six years old boy complained to his mother, when his older brother held high in his hand one of his toys and he couldn’t reach it.

“Boys stop fighting” she shook her finger at them and put her hands on her hips. She controlled herself and turned down the curve of her lips to an appropriately serious expression.

“He started” the small boy complained again.

“Squealer” his brother muttered under his breath still not giving him his toy.

“Behave like a big brother and play with him instead of always quarreling” she said to the older boy.

“It’s not fun” he whined but obeyed his mother. “You are lucky that you are younger” he ruffled his younger brother’s hair.

“You should get used to that already, grandpa” he stuck his tongue out and ran away quickly before his brother could reach him.

“Hey you, it's only 10 years difference” when the small boy hurried out of the room, he shouted after him.

He woke up in the night frightened. He felt that the air was saturated with the heavy burning smell and thick aroma choked him. He got up slowly from the bed and hesitantly headed toward the stairs. Suddenly, as if paralyzed, he couldn’t move, when he saw that everything was on the flames. Fire like a wild beast devoured all his house from the inside. "The house is on fire!" he thought and immediately he remembered that his mother and brother also are here.

He wanted to scream, but the smoke was getting thicker and it was impossible for him to say even a word. He felt that he becomes weaker and even though with all his strength he wanted to save his family, he couldn’t move from his spot. Sweat sprung out on his skin, and the world began to blur before his eyes. No, he shook his head. He had to save his family.

Noise has woken him up. Siren. He was in the ambulance. When he opened his eyes, unknown figure appeared in front of him, dressed in an white apron… once white, because now it was all covered with a color of blood. He wanted to ask, what about his family, but he felt a sharp twinge in his neck and he slowly fell asleep.

They saved only him, a woman with a small child died right away. He couldn’t believe it when the next day, his father told him this terrible news. He stared at him blankly, on his face there were no emotion, no tears. The man tried to hug him, but he just turned his back and laid back on the bed. Over the next several days, or even weeks and months, he didn't talk to anyone, he merely stared into empty space. Father was very worried about his son, who isolate himself from the world. He didn’t go out, didn’t talk to anyone, and even stopped eating. Over the past few weeks, he lost a lot of weight in a short time and only after many hours of requests, he ate a small meals.

When he turned eighteen, and the situation hasn’t improved too much (the boy went out only to school and rarely said anything), the man decided to take radical steps. He found a specialist psychiatric clinic abroad, which would ensure his son anonymity and helped him to solve any problems. That, at least would protect him against harassment and insults from his classmates.

“Wonwoo” he walked into his room without knocking, knowing that he wouldn’t hear any response. The boy was lying on his bed. “I have a news for you” he started carefully and sat on the edge of his bed. The boy didn’t even look at him, all the time staring at the ceiling. “I don’t know anymore how I can help you. I tried so many times, but you always reject me…” his voice broke into sobs but he continued talking. “You must understand that I'm not trying to get rid of you, completely the opposite. I want to regain my son back, because you are the most important for me” he assured him and put his hand on his. To his surprise Wonwoo didn’t pushed him away.

The boy looked him in the eyes for the first time in a long time. They both started at each other, communicating without a words. Wonwoo’s eyes were filled with so much pain and suffering, more so than he had ever seen before and it was enough to cause his heart to sink just looking into such an sorrowed gaze. The man moved closer to him, placed his arms around him and pulled him into an embrace, allowing him to sob on his shoulders releasing the anguish he felt inside.

“I couldn’t save them” terrified groan of pain escaped his throat. He tightened his grip and buried his head in his father’s shoulders. Wonwoo cried loudly and kept muttering 'I couldn’t save them' to himself, over and over again. His father patted him on the head.

“It's not your fault” he assured him but also couldn’t hold back his tears. “It’s not your fault” he repeated. “None is blaming you and I am sure your mother and Samuel wouldn’t want you to think like that” he moved away a little from him, so he could clearly see him. He put his hands on Wonwoo’s face and brushed off the tears with his thumb. “I want you to go abroad for some time” he spoke slowly, carefully choosing all words. Wonwoo was just staring at him, but he didn’t say anything. “They will help you, I promise” he added and sobbed loudly.

Wonwoo knew immediately what that means. Father sends him to a mental institution. He couldn’t understand why was he doing this. After all, he should understood him, didn’t he suffer at all from the loss of his wife and the youngest child? Did he not understand that it was hard to live without them? Wake up everyday and not be able to hear a cheerful voice of his mother, who was talking about making breakfast or playing around with Samuel, teaching him new things and even fight sometimes. He missed them so much. He couldn’t pretend that everything is fine, if it was not!

“As you wish… father” he said coldly, pulled away from him and again laid on the bed.

“I am sorry” the man whispered and stood up. “I love you” he added before leaving.

They sat at the bar, drinking another beer. Both of them have lost track of which exactly it is. Wonwoo need this, and Seungcheol as his friend, couldn’t leave him alone.

They met in America. It turned out that they both are in a similar situation. Their parents sent them to forced treatment. Seungcheol had problems with aggression, apparently he couldn’t stop himself from hitting someone, but Wonwoo didn’t believe in this. Already after the first conversation, they became friends and he didn’t see him as an aggressive man. After some time Seungcheol explained to him that he has never started the fight, he just couldn’t remain indifferent to the suffering of others. Because he was one of the strongest guys in school, he always beat all of them and at the end from innocent person he became oppressor. Also Wonwoo trusted him so much that he told him his whole story. Seungcheol listened to the end, he didn’t judge him and just showed a big support. Thanks to each other they were able to overcome their own nightmares.

“You screwed up everything” Seungcheol said when Wonwoo told him everything what happened.

“It’s better this way” he took a sip of his drink calmly. His friend looked at him strangely, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

“Mingyu…” he stopped for a moment, thinking about something. “It’s better that it ended before anything has truly begun” he said and looked at his friend. “What?”

“You are stupid” he shook his head in disbelieve. “You like him” he said and Wonwoo didn’t deny.

“It doesn’t matter” he finished his glass of beer and ordered another one.

“Bull” Seungcheol raised his voice a little.

“It would not work out, even so” he  said with sadness in his voice as he closed his eyes for a moment.

“Why not? Even I can say that he likes you too, I saw how he was looking at you during your date” he assured him, but Wonwoo already knew that. Mingyu wasn’t very good at hiding his feelings. He smiled as he remembered how the boy was always acting insecure in his presence and his cheeks were all red. “You are smiling” Seungcheol noted. “You were thinking about him.”

“Of course I was, because you are keep talking about him” he said.

“So what are you waiting for?” he asked. “Call him” he added with excitement and quickly swallowed a gulp of the alcohol.

“No” he said firmly with a serious face. “I can’t” he added softly.

“Why?” he asked him.

“Because I don’t deserve to be happy” his voice broke and Seungcheol could tell that he was about to start cry.

“I think you drank too much” by force he took away a beer from him.

“How can I be happy without them” he muttered, putting his head on the bar. Seungcheol sighed loudly. Even though he hasn’t shown it recently, he still didn’nt completely come to terms with the loss of family and he tried to punish himself for this. Although it's been four years, he still, to some extent blamed himself for that.

“Let’s go home” he put his hand on his back but he didn’t say anything. He fell asleep. Seungcheol shook his head. “He needed that” he thought and wrapped Wonwoo’s arm around his neck and lifted him from his chair. “Let’s go home” he repeated, this time only to himself.

“What happen?” Hansol asked his hyung when he entered the room, while slamming the door loudly.

“Nothing” he snapped.

“Yeah, I can see” he said sarcastically. “So how was the date with Wonwoo?” he tried to ask another question.

“Don’t even mention his name” he clenched his fist in anger, so tight that his knuckles turned white.

“Troubles in paradise” he looked at his friend carefully. “Are you going to tell me what exactly has happened?” He asked and sat at one of the chairs.

“Oh nothing, I just found out that I would be very good toy” he said with irony and sat next to him.

“Wonwoo hyung said that?” his mouth widened in surprise.

“Not technically” he hesitated for a moment. “But he didn’t deny, so it’s obvious” he added.

“That’s something new for you, hyung” Hansol crossed his arms over his chest. “Before that, it didn’t bother you when you were doing the same thing.”

“That’s something new for you” he mocked his friend. “Don't be such a smartass!”

“Hey, I am trying to help you” he reminded him. “I am sure it was just a misunderstanding” he tried to comfort him.

“Misunderstanding or not, it’s over” he added with a sad voice.

When he finally said it out loud, it hit him and he realized what exactly has just happened. After all there was nothing between them, only one stupid kiss at the bar, and one date with a fatal ending. So why did he feel so terribly and that aching feeling in his heart truly hurt him so much?

“Are you ok?” Hansol put his hand on his shoulder.

“Yeah, it’s nothing” he assured him, with all his strength, trying not to show any weakness. “I will just…” he didn’t finish because he heard the sound of his phone. Not even looking at the screen, he picked up the call. “Hello” he said.

“Mingyu?” asked the unknown person on the other side of the phone.

“Yeah and you are…?” Hansol looked at him in confusion and mouthed to him ‘who is that?’. Mingyu shrugged his shoulders, he also would like to know that.

“We met today. I am Seungcheol, Wonwoo’s friend.”

Only one chapter left, I can't believe I manage to get so far:)

Thank you for all your comments and subscriptions. They really motivate when you feel like quit everything. So please help me :)