~*ONEW*~

          A Concert.

          A big one.

          The first of its kind.

          Who’s concert is it?

          Ours obviously.

          We’ve been waiting for this day for ages it seems, and it’s finally happening! We’ll have the stage all to ourselves in Tokyo, Japan: all our songs, all our dances, our big hits, our singles, our solos, everything is all us, just me, the leader, and my four boys.

          Ahh, a solo stage! I’ve chosen an opera as my piece. I begged to have live music to accompany me. No one understood why I had to have live instruments playing right behind me until I sang the song as a practice run. Everyone then understood that this piece just needs live music. A background track of recorded sounds just wouldn’t cut it.

          I’ve recently just heard that the orchestra has been chosen and that they are practicing diligently. A week after learning this I asked for a demo of their music. I know a week isn’t long but I just couldn’t help myself. I had to listen and sing to them. It was a feeling…

          Ever since then I always listen to it when I practice. I know it will sound different later, but it still gives me an idea of what to expect. The instruments they’ve chosen. Who’s a stronger player than the others. Who to watch out for.

          Tomorrow I finally get to meet this orchestra. My orchestra. That probably sounds selfish and odd, especially since I’ve never met any of them, but that’s how it feels. It works both ways: I’m their singer, their voice. They are my music, my sound. We belong together to make one piece; this one performance.

          Yes, the leader’s thoughts are this selfish. And because of that, I just can’t wait to meet the orchestra. Put faces to all the sounds I’ve been listening to and practicing with. I’ll finally get to practice with them! I’ll be able to watch them perform this beautiful music and I’ll sing with them…

          “Yah, hyung… Calm down, already. Come and sit down with us. It’s chicken!” Jonghyun calls over to me from the kitchen as I pace around the living room. All four know I’m very anxious and excited. A smile has been on my face for the longest time these last few weeks. Through everything that’s been going on, I’ve been viewing my cup as half full.

          This concert will be perfect and amazing and fun. My bandmates and I are going to rock Tokyo! SHINee will be at its finest!

          Today is a break for us, hence why we all get to sit and eat lunch together right now. But I got sidetracked with thinking about the orchestra and our concert. I’ve yet to even take a bite!

          How are they not as excited? It’s our concert, not just mine, but sometimes I think I’m the only one who’s excited for it. Then again, maybe I’m just the oddball out since I’ve been this excited ever since we knew about the concert almost 6 months ago… That might have something to do with their lack of enthusiasm.

          I go to stand in the doorway of the kitchen and give everyone my bright smile. “Actually, I’m not that hungry. I’ll think I’ll head out and walk off some of this energy that’s building up. Save some for me, ok?”

          “Hyung, take a coat! It’s getting chillier lately,” Kibum calls after me as I’m already heading out of the apartment. I quickly grab my coat as an afterthought. Good call, Key-umma.

          25 minutes later and I find myself in front of the building where the orchestra has been practicing. Hmm, I swear my mind isn’t thinking about this all day, everyday…

          Looking up and up and up, I think I finally see the top of the building, my mouth wide open. It’s so tall! How many orchestras can fit in there? What if I can’t find mine? What will I do then?

          I chuckle to myself, looking down at the side walk. It scares some of the people around me but they do nothing about it. If only they knew who it was under this hat and the big sunglasses and big coat… Then I’d be hearing, “Onew Sangtae!” But I’m not Onew, SHINee’s Leader, right now! I’m a man on a mission! Cue Mission Impossible music!

          Everything I do, it’s Onew sangtae~

          I wander around the first floor, getting an idea of the simple layout. Not only is this place tall, but it’s huge, too! Suddenly I hear familiar music. My music. I decide to follow it, letting it lead me wherever it wants. I recognize the flow and the instruments. It sounds more beautiful than the first recording of a week’s practice.

          I see a door blocking my music and myself, but decide that’s good. I don’t want to disturb them. Plus, I’ll be coming in here tomorrow and introducing myself, so why spoil that? I sneak closer, deciding I can finally take the hat and glasses off. There’s a small glass pane I can peek through, and I take a peek.

          Everyone is working so hard. They all look so concentrated! Not even one single mistake! It sounds flawless! It’s beautiful and breathtaking. This orchestra could go on stage right now. It sounds so enthralling in person.

          My eyes graze the room, looking at each individual and their instrument. Everyone is dressed casually and comfortably, some are even opting to sit. Their faces reflect their concentration as their hands move to create life with sound.

          Tomorrow I will complete that life with them. I’ll add that last ingredient. We’ll work together to make it nearly perfect.

~*THE NEXT DAY*~

          Stage fright is a thing of the past. Nervousness isn’t even in my vocabulary anymore. I’d overcome these small aspects a long time ago, and even then, it was never a big deal in the first place. I’ve always just pushed through with everything I’ve got.

          But as I wait outside the small windowed door from yesterday, I can’t help but feel these things. I’m unsure as to why, but it may have something to do with how I’m theirs just as much as they’re mine. Or something along those lines that have been plaguing my brain since the idea of singing opera with a live orchestra entered my brain.

          It doesn’t matter, though. It’s not like this feeling is overtaking my body. I’m a professional and I’ve been through many similar moments in my life. I always come out on top and do just fine.

          …

          So why do I end up tripping over thin air in front of everybody?!

          OK, so actually I just tripped over nothing in front of everybody but no one saw because the door had been angled just so that they couldn’t see me. The director had motioned me in with a soft tone and so I obliged (thank goodness no one saw my Onew Sangtae!). I bow to him and then look around the room, recognizing all the faces from yesterday’s adventure.

          “Hello, I am shining SHINee’s leader, Onew!” I use my usual introduction with the usual pump of my fist. It’s habit to me now and I’m afraid that one day I’ll forget how to normally introduce myself. Maybe I’ll be meeting my fiancé’s great grandmother, and instead of introducing myself normally with my name and a gentle bow, I’ll instead pump my fist and give my stage name!? That would be…- humorous, actually.

          “I’m really looking forward to singing with all of you. I’ve been listening to a cd with you all playing when I practice, and it fills my heart with joy. Now that we will be practicing together, I wonder what this new feeling is.”

It’s just selfishness.I chuckle at this because it’s so true. Now that I finally get to practice with them all, my selfish side is taking over. These people are now mine to care for. So maybe the joy from before was the fact that I didn’t have 20 girls under my belt to care for?

          Soon the director gets us started up. My first time singing to them and with them. This is going to be an amazing experience in itself.

          The orchestra starts and finally I get to sing. My voice just comes out, ready to be sung. I warmed up earlier today at home before coming. I wanted to be ready so I wouldn’t waste anyone’s time.

          A few notes in and I notice a violin player has stopped. Her eyes are concentrated on me but not at the same time, like she isn’t really seeing me. Her arms slowly drop, her violin resting in her lap as she sits on the chair. I continue with the song, not wanting to bring complete attention to her just from stopping. I notice water in her eyes. Am I doing something cruel? Is my singing terrible? Is she scared of me?

          Finally our first time through is done. A few of the girls around the violinist notice her distraught expression: wet cheeks, red eyes, slightly damp nose. I can’t keep the helpless and worried expression off my face even when she looks towards me and finally sees me again.

          Did I do something to make her like that?

          The rest of the two hours of practice continued as such: she would miss a note or hit the wrong one. Each time we tried going through, she would make a mistake. A few times she didn’t even bother and just listened, staring at the notes in front of her with anger and confusion on her face. Am I making her like this? Am I perhaps not the right singer for this orchestra? Should I not be their singer, and them not my orchestra? What happened to making that perfect life together?

          At the end of practice I leave the room before anyone has the chance of bombarding me. I saw familiar looks from some of the players when I first entered the room: SHINee World is vast and large with many different people living in it. I should have expected as much. I head for the bathroom: they won’t expect that.

          I give them all about 20 minutes or so, figuring they’ll stay and chat for a bit before going on their way. I don’t have Manager hyung with me: I came by myself, figuring it’d be fine. I was only semi-right, but it’s fine. I think I’ll continue to come alone, unless a few of the other members want to come and watch. Oh, I’d love that!

          Time to head out!

          I dash for the exit, hating the smell of the washroom, and start heading back towards the practice room. I hear noises coming from inside and decide to take a quick peek just to see who’s still here. Eyeing around the doorframe, I spot the crying violinist. She’s mumbling to herself, putting things away in her case, folding the chair she had been sitting in, putting the note sheet stand away. She looks distressed still.

So… please be honest and let me know what you think. This isn’t how I imagined the fic continuing on, but I’m writing another fic and it switches PoV so when I started writing this chapter it came out like this and I was all, “WAIT! OH NO!”

:/

But I decided to keep it (as you saw in the preview). But if it’s not working out I will gladly get rid of it and go back to what I was doing with just “your” PoV.

BTW I passed my finals with A’s!!! 8) I’m also on Christmas Break from school AND work so I have more free time now until the 3^rd of next year!! And I’m thinking… Christmas Special? Any ideas or suggestions? Yes or No? Hmm probably be late anyways, like I usually am *weeps* I’m sorry!

@missterious I usually don’t like this style of fic either, but I usually end up writing like that anyways :/ I’m glad it isn’t annoying! Please let me know when it does get annoying or something! :)