~*ONE DAY BEFORE THE “WEEK LATER” IS OVER*~

          I’ve been bringing in my mp3 player to listen to the original song when we practice. That way I can’t hear Onew’s beautiful and amazing and powerful singing voice. Closing my eyes and facing a window has also helped me. I tell myself to just drain out of my brain and become the violin and just play the music. I lose myself in it so everything around me is gone. My mistakes have been disappearing! I’ve gone back to the first time I played this beautiful piece, no mistakes.

          Every day I come to this building just to practice. I stay behind and work my fingers until they’re so tired I can barely hold chopsticks. But it’s been worth it. I see the director look at me every now and again and he gives me a nod of approval.

          Today is the last day of extra practice for me. After this, the director will tell me I can stay and I’ll be so happy and confident I won’t have to do overtime and kill myself. At least that’s what I’m hoping will happen. It has to happen. The director gives me approving nods! He can’t kick me out!

          Everyone has left, so it’s only me and the cleaning lady yet again. She’s never bothered me before. I’m glad. Settling the violin under my chin, I prepare to start playing when I suddenly hear footsteps.

          Looking towards the door, I wonder who could still be here. It’s not the janitor lady, she’s too nice to start bothering me now. Maybe a robber? Ha, I doubt it. Or maybe someone forgot something. I look around to see if maybe I can find what they may be looking for.

          “Excuse me.”

          My eyes widen and my head snaps back to the door. No way… No no no… I must be dreaming! Why oh why…

          It’s Onew!

          “I’m sorry to bother you, but I was wondering if I could come in and practice?”

          “Ahh, I-I guess. Should I leave then?” My heart is beating so fast! I can’t talk straight and my concentration is suddenly gone. So much for just pretending Onew is any other guy off the street.

          Onew raises his brows, giving me a curious look. “Am I to only practice alone or in a large group? You’ve been here every day for about two weeks now, practicing until it’s late at night. I don’t mean to kick you out now. I just want to practice with you.”

          “With me? But… but I always…” I always screw up and make practice stop, except for this past week because I’ve been completely ignoring you as though you don’t exist and I don’t think you’re one of the hottest things to walk this planet. “I’ll only ruin your practice.” I can’t bring myself to look at him. My hands are shaking. I’m so embarrassed; this is terrible.

          “I don’t think you’ll ruin my practice. You’ll make it more fun! I can practice to keep going forward no matter what comes my way!” He smiles that smile that reaches his eyes and I catch myself looking at him and smiling back.

          I am so hooked.

          “Well then, if you don’t mind me being here… I would love to practice with you.”

          Is it possible for Onew’s smile to get bigger and brighter, because it just happened.

          We’ve come to the point where we practice without notes, except for me. I need to keep the sheet music before me; it really helps to keep my mind on the music instead of the one before me, coming closer. Oh dear, this may not work out after all. My fingers are starting to shake and my heart is beating faster. The notes won’t help me concentrate is my fingers won’t follow them.

          Drats, this was a bad idea! Who knew being a Shawol could be so tough?!

          I try to settle my hands, shaking them out roughly and flexing my fingers. I’m proving I still have control over my hands, not my hormones or emotions. Onew notices my actions and comes even closer (why oh WHY?!), and asks, “Are your hands alright? Are they tired? Are you ok?”

          “Uh, no, it’s just… Well, they seem too… Hmm… it’s so embaressing…” I clear my throat, my cheeks practically on fire as I shuffle my sheet and look at the floor or the wall or anywhere but at Onew. Am I really about to admit my problem to the cause…?

Well, why not. I have no reason to lie. But I still can’t look at him.

          My words are quick and tumble from my lips in a mess. “You see, I’m a huge fan of SHINee! And when you’re here I’m just so nervous! I can’t see straight, my fingers won’t keep steady and I can barely concentrate correctly!” I can’t believe I just exposed my most embarrassing secret. To an idol I adore, no less.

          I stare at the floor, mentally hitting myself, waiting for a response. I must look so stupid and unprofessional now in his eyes. He must see me as just another stupid fangirl. I shouldn’t have said anything! He’ll always remember me as the stupid violinist who was too obsessed with him to work correctly and got kicked out of the concert!

          As if right on cue, the leader’s laughter reaches my ears. How could I ever meet his eyes now? I can’t take anymore and turn to pack away my violin, getting my case open.

          “Wait, wait, why are you packing up? I thought we were going to practice together?”

          My eyes are b with tears as I gather enough courage to look at him. I don’t have to say a single thing: my expression explains everything and he understands, his face falling, sadness taking away that smile that I love so much.

          “Please don’t leave. I wasn’t laughing at you, honest. You have to believe me. It’s just that I never knew I could affect someone that way. Girls are usually giddy, hiding their faces but still trying to get right beside me and prove a point. They’re so full of pride that they don’t miss a single step. This… is different. You’re… unique.” He smiles a sad smile, a questioning look in his eyes. He’s waiting to see if I believe him or not.

          My first thought is, “How could I disagree?!” But that’s so fangirlish and unrational… Let’s be me for a minute and do this as I would with any other person. I look him up and down, trying to look beneath his celebrity skin and character. I don’t know him outside of that world, except for the past few weeks of practicing together.

          And he’s exactly the same.

          When his voice starts to tire, he pushes through and keeps going to the end. You would figure since there are no cameras or fans that an idol would play the idol card and let himself be pampered and coddled, getting his way with whatever. But Onew never has. He always bows to everyone when he arrives and before he leaves, saying his thanks. Onew Sangtae is real, and he does truly get hurt sometimes, hiding from everyone, but it’s still possible to see the pain as he covers it up. He’s so unselfish and caring, always giving and never taking.

          He has never given me a reason to think he isn’t a sweet and caring person who would laugh at my embarrassment.

          I nod my head, the slightest of smiles on my lips. “I won’t leave. I… I believe you.”

          The smile on his face is one I have never seen before as he says, “Thank you so much!”

          My heart skips a beat.

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Neh, what do you think? Like or dislike?