warning: kind of (?) a around the middle. I will leave a * before and after the part for those who don't want to read it. ^^

Baekhyun was pretty certain he did not fall asleep in here.

He clearly remembered sitting on the couch in Chanyeol‘s arms, warm and content, listening to Kyungsoo and Jongin talk about something when eventually his head fell on Chanyeol‘s chest, and everything turned dark. He had fallen asleep on the couch for sure, but then why was he now in Chanyeol‘s bed, with Chanyeol nowhere in sight?

He rolled to his side, looking around the empty room. There wasn't a single sound indicating that Chanyeol was somewhere in the apartment, either.

“Chanyeol?” he tried calling.

No answer. Baekhyun was definitely alone.

He sat up in the bed, pouting. When did Chanyeol leave him? He hadn’t even noticed him move him to bed, not to mention leaving it. Did he go to work? Baekhyun would be furious if he did. He wanted to go with him, to make sure that Chanyeol doesn’t get punished by his father for what Baekhyun had done yesterday, and also, to find out what was going to happen now. If he was still an employee at PKO, or was he already thrown out without no discussions awaiting.

He turned to look at his side, and noticed a piece of paper on Chanyeol’s side of the bed. Baekhyun grabbed the paper and unfolded it, grateful that his boyfriend at least left him a note of his whereabouts. That was a nice thing to do after disappearing.

Good morning, Baek, was written in there, I’m going out for a bit and I’ll be back in a few hours. Have breakfast, watch TV, but don’t go out, please. You need to heal your cold first. I’ll see you later. Love you, Chanyeol

Baekhyun bit back his lips from forming a smile. His boyfriend was so cute.

As far as his health was concerned, Baekhyun was feeling quite alright, actually. His headache was gone, he wasn’t cold anymore, although his throat still felt a bit iffy. Baekhyun really wanted to get a pill for that before it got serious, so he reluctantly pushed the warm blankets away, and climbed out of the bed. He left Chanyeol’s note on the bedside table.

He padded over to the bathroom, his feet unpleasantly cold on the bare floor. Opening the cabinet above the sink, Baekhyun pulled out Chanyeol’s medicine kit and went through it, hoping to find the pills for throat pain. But there was none, so he pushed the kit back to its place, frowning.

He really needed to get that pill now, otherwise his throat would go crazy, and two days later, he wouldn't be able to utter a single word out. And Baekhyun will definitely need his gift of speech when faced with the rage of Chanyeol’s father. Who else will talk back to him and defend them both?

Baekhyun contemplated his choices. He could wait for Chanyeol to come back, and ask him get the pills then. But he didn’t even consider that one, because he had given Chanyeol enough trouble as it was. There was no way he was going to order him around like some pawn for stupid throat pills, too.

His other choice meant getting dressed and walking over to the pharmacy. Baekhyun knew there was one nearby, because he always saw the bright green sign whenever Chanyeol drove him to his place. It wasn’t even going to be ten minutes to get there, so that could work.

But Chanyeol had asked him not to go anywhere. Ugh.

Baekhyun pursed his lips, conflicted.

Well, what Chanyeol won’t know won’t hurt him, he decided. He’ll be back before Chanyeol anyway.

Content with his resolve, Baekhyun quickly brushed his teeth with a new toothbrush, that Chanyeol thoughtfully had left for him, and washed his face. He then took a quick shower, thankful for the freshly washed towel and clothes that were left on the washing machine for him. He wondered how early Chanyeol had gotten up to take care of him like this, and ended up smiling throughout the whole time in the shower.

When he got out of the shower with damp hair and droplets of water running down his back, Baekhyun noticed another thing Chanyeol had done for him. He had left Baekhyun his suit, neatly folded, but he had also left him a new set of his own clothes to change into. In case Baekhyun didn’t want to wear the suit at home, and wanted to be more comfortable. 

Baekhyun smiled.

He picked Chanyeol’s clothes.

When he was all ready and drying his hair with a towel, Baekhyun headed over to the kitchen to drink some water. There, another surprise waited for him. Chanyeol had prepared breakfast for him, and left it on the table with a cup for tea. He had prepared Baekhyun a box of cereal, a sandwich, three boiled eggs and bread. He went as far as giving him choices for breakfast, and Baekhyun couldn’t help the tiny squeal that left his lips when he saw that.

Best boyfriend ever, he thought happily.

He stuck to cereal for breakfast, smiling whilst eating the whole time as he thought of Chanyeol. He felt happy and excited for some reason, though he could have used a healthy throat to be one hundred percent happy with everything. But hopefully the pills were going to help him with that, and he will have no complaints about nothing in the entire world.

He put on his winter jacket, not forgetting to tightly wrap the scarf around his neck, because he knew Chanyeol would be really upset with him if he didn’t. Actually, he would be upset with him for leaving the bed in the first place, but Baekhyun wasn’t going to let him know of that, and although he did feel a bit guilty about lying to Chanyeol, he was certain that it was for the best. Luckily, Chanyeol had a spare key hanged beside the door, so Baekhyun had no problems getting out and locking the door behind himself when he left.

It took him around seven minutes to get to the pharmacy, and those seven minutes weren’t pleasant at all. The beginning of November was never pleasant when it came to the weather, and the weather was quite windy and cold. Baekhyun reached the pharmacy all shivering and holding back himself from cursing. Finally, finally he reached the right place, and stepped into the room that unpleasantly smelled of hospitals.

“Good morning,” the woman behind the counter greeted. Without Baekhyun, no one else was in there.

“Good morning,” Baekhyun responded curtly, and turned to search for his pills.

He found them quite easily in the corner of the pharmacy. He grabbed a box and was about to go to the counter, when his eyes caught on a sight of a small blue bottle.

He froze.

He knew what the bottle was. He had never given those a second glance because it was embarassing, and he never needed one. Not until now he actually wanted to use one.

But now, he kind of did.

ert Byun Baekhyun, he scolded himself.

Chanyeol’s fingers on the skin of his stomach. The warmth.

Huge ert Byun Baekhyun! What are you even thinking about?!

What was he thinking about? He wasn’t thinking much. Or maybe he was, but he couldn't stop. He wanted Chanyeol.

Chanyeol might have been innocent, shy and introverted, but he was a man, too. He also had needs and wants that were only natural. Baekhyun couldn't have been the only one, right?

At some point of their relationship they were going to take that step. Everybody did. That was just a way of expressing love and trust in another way, and Baekhyun felt like he was ready to do that with Chanyeol. The only thing he needed to wait for was for Chanyeol to be ready as well.

Baekhyun reached out and took the bottle.

He barely noticed the lady behind the counter looking at him knowingly as she was cashing him out. Baekhyun’s thoughts were more concentrated on the unfamiliar feeling that filled his chest. It felt like some sort of decision, inner resolve, that he himself didn’t even know he had to make, but made. 
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    He loved Chanyeol. He was so sure of that as he was sure of nothing else in this world. He trusted Chanyeol, too. And he wasn’t quick on trusting others, therefore Chanyeol was so much more special. Baekhyun was ready to give up anything and everything of his for him, including the things he had never given anyone else before. Therefore it couldn't hurt to be prepared for the day when Chanyeol was ready, too.

All the way back to Chanyeol’s place, Baekhyun's thoughts were all concentrated on the fact that he had given Chanyeol his heart in such a short while, and never, even for a second, didn’t stop to rethink the decision. And Baekhyun wasn’t the one not to rethink his decisions - he was the exact opposite of that. But instead of feeling scared for making a mistake, he actually felt more calm than ever.                                                

When he was back in Chanyeol’s apartment, Baekhyun put the spare key back where it was, took off his coat and hid all the traces of ever leaving the apartment. He then took a pill for his throat, and hid the medicine in his bag together with the bottle. Chanyeol wasn't going to know about its existence until the right time came. 

After taking the medicine, Baekhyun went back to bed and fell asleep again, body screaming for more rest as he was still tired from the fever. He didn’t realize how much time has passed, until he felt a faint touch on his cheek, and heard the sheets rustle lightly as another person lied down beside him.He opened his eyes, and smiled.
                                                                                                                               
“Hey.”
                                                                                                                                                                
“Hey,” Chanyeol answered with a soft smile, eyes warm and bright. “How are you feeling?”                        
Baekhyun leaned towards him, throwing one arm around his neck and pulling him as close to himself as possible.                                                                                                                                        

“Much better now that you’re here,” he murmured into his shirt. “Where were you?”                                    

Chanyeol put his arm around Baekhyun’s waist and kissed the top of his head.                                               

“I… was in a job interview.”                                                                                                                                                  

Baekhyun pulled his neck backwards to look up at him, confused.                                                                 

“What do you mean you were in a job interview? Don’t you already have a job?”                                                                    

Chanyeol smiled.                             

“It’s not the job I have at PKO. I was thinking today, whilst you were still asleep, and… and I made a decision."

Baekhyun looked at him curiously.

"What decision, Yeol?" 

At least he was positive it wasn't a bad one. Chanyeol's eyes were too sparkly, too happy. 

"I just thought about how you always told me to do something I really wanted to do, and Yixing, Jongin also told me the same. Also, Jongin and you always complained about me working overtime and now that my father is probably very mad at me, and most probably going to fire me anyway,  I just thought… that maybe it was the time to start anew. To do what I want to do."

Baekhyun felt that he looked dumb, staring at Chanyeol with his mouth open and his eyes wide like that, but he didn’t care. He simply had never expected to hear something like this. Chanyeol chuckled at his expression.                                                                                 

"I was proposed a job a few months ago, but I didn’t take it. I didn’t have the courage to. But then you came along, and everything changed.. I changed," he explained, eyes sparkling and smile never disappearing from his face. "So I called the company and asked if they still wanted me, and they said yes. I'm starting on Monday."

 Baekhyun had never seen him so full of excitement and joy as now. But it was a beautiful and happy sight indeed.

"So you got hired somewhere else?" he asked, still unable to believe the news. "What are you going to be working as?"

Chanyeol brushed Baekhyun's fringe out of his eyes gently, and his smile widened.

"I'm going to produce and write songs, Baek," he answered. "How I always wanted to."

"Oh my god!" Baekhyun sat up instantly, gaping at him. "You mean I will actually get to hear your songs? You will actually release them? To the world?"

Chanyeol sat up as well, chuckling at Baekhyun's excitement.

"You're the one I will write them all to, after all. You can be the first one to sing them, if only you'll want."

"Of course I want to!" Baekhyun held Chanyeol's hand in his. "I thought you would never leave PKO. I'm so happy for you, Yeol!"

He really was. This was what Chanyeol really wanted to do in life, what he enjoyed doing. It wasn't the dull job of a general manager, full of stress, working overtime and being blamed for things you were not at fault for. This was dreams coming true, happiness because of what you're doing everyday, and a chance that finally people will be able to see the talents that were hidden within this amazing person called Park Chanyeol. This was more than Baekhyun could ever ask for, and now it was all real.

"So you're not going to work at PKO anymore?" Baekhyun asked again, still reluctant.

Chanyeol's smile wavered.

"I won't really have the time to. The agency that offered me the job stated that it's full time. I'm going to be one of their main producers after all."

"I thought you never showed anyone your songs," Baekhyun pouted. "How come this agency knows how good you are, then? Wait... Have you been lying to me, Park Chanyeol?"

Chanyeol shook his head instantly, big eyes full of sincerity.

"No! Yixing had a couple of my old songs. He sent them to them, his friends from the agency, without me knowing, and... he added that I'm one of the best songwriters he had ever met. And they decided to hire me thanks to him."

"That's amazing," Baekhyun leaned against the headboard, smile blooming on his face. "Yixing is great. I couldn't be any happier."

Chanyeol looked at him, smiling, being happy for him, and couldn't contain himself from smiling as well. He shifted forward, getting closer to Baekhyun, leaning in. Kissing and touching Baekhyun was becoming so easy, so natural, he didn't even feel shy of it anymore. He just wanted to kiss him now, and he didn't take long to allow himself to.

At first, it was gentle, like always. Just a soft, sweet brush of their lips. But Baekhyun then wrapped his arms back around his neck, pulling him closer, and the kiss quickly turned way more passionate. Chanyeol's hands found their place on Baekhyun's sides, fingers touching the soft fabric of the sweater he was wearing - his sweater, he realized. Baekhyun was dressed in his clothes he had left for him this morning, and Chanyeol could feel a surge of pride and possessiveness run through him as he pulled the smaller closer and kissed him deeper, fingers digging into the soft fabric he knew well.

Being touched like that, Baekhyun felt the heat from Chanyeol's hands even through the clothes he was wearing, and the feeling on them was making his heart jump and beat faster. He also wanted to touch Chanyeol, so he let one of his hands slip away from the other's neck as it went down, and rested on Chanyeol's chest instead, right on the spot above his heart. He could almost feel the steady beating of it in his own fingers. It also could have been his own, drumming in his ears unstopably and loudly, making him dizzy to the point where Baekhyun could hardly think.

He pulled backwards a little, just to take a look into Chanyeol's eyes. They were so heartwarming to see, two brown orbs full of care, safety and love. They were dark in the dim light of the room, but warm and beautiful as ever. Baekhyun could look at them forever, but he still wanted to touch, to be closer to this amazing person he could call his, so he leaned in and kissed Chanyeol again.

This time, Baekhyun's hands weren't satisfied with just being clasped around the taller male's neck. Baekhyun couldn't stop them from wandering down, to his collarbones, arms, broad chest. He wanted to feel as much as he could, to memorize every curve of Chanyeol's body, to be closer and show him all the feelings that couldn't be expressed with words, and could only speak through softest and most passionate of touches. He was almost desperate, pressing his lips firmer against Chanyeol's and meeting his tongue with his fervently, hoping that Chanyeol could feel what was going on inside his heart.

But as Baekhyun's touches grew more heated and bold, Chanyeol's became more hesitant. Baekhyun could feel him growing less certain with every touch of his, and feeling that his touches were causing him discomfort almost hurt. When Chanyeol flinched at the touch of his fingers on his bare collarbone, Baekhyun stopped moving his hands at all, and pulled them away completely. His stomach churned.

Although he knew that it wasn't that, that flinch, those doubts felt so strongly like a wordless rejection. And an unpleasant doubt, that he might be forcing himself on Chanyeol, began growing inside his chest.

Seconds later, Baekhyun couldn't take it anymore, and pulled away from the kiss.

"Baek?" Chanyeol whispered, caugh off guard at the suddenness.

"I'm sorry," Baekhyun murmured, biting his lip. "I'm sorry, Yeol."

Chanyeol sat straight, looking at him. His eyes, that were dazed and full of passion seconds ago, had now turned worried.

"What are you sorry for, Baek?"

Baekhyun could feel his throat getting tight, and he felt so mad at himself for feeling like he's about to cry for this. It was stupid, he knew it was, but he had never been rejected before and it was not a nice feeling. He felt ugly, erted, undesirable. Guilty.

"Baekhyun?"

How does he tell him the reason? 'I'm about to cry because I want you in that way, but you don't want me'? Ridiculous he would sound and he knew it. Baekhyun knew it and it made it harder for him not to burst into stupid tears.

He might have been ready, but Chanyeol might still be not. He might still not be even sure that Baekhyun really was the one, that he really wanted to spend his life with him, and give everything to Baekhyun and Baekhyun only. He could love him, but he might not be that completely sure of that love yet. And that was normal. Baekhyun could understand that.

But it still stupidly hurt.

"Baek, I'm growing worried here," Chanyeol touched his cheek, looking into his eyes. "Could you please tell me what's going on?"

Baekhyun looked into his eyes, and for a second, he really wanted to do just that. He wished he could.

"It's nothing."

Chanyeol squinted.

"It's clearly not," he pulled at the loose sweater on Baekhyun's sides, encouraging him to hug him again. When Baekhyun reluctantly did, he sighed. "Please, tell me what's bothering you."

"Promise you won't feel disgusted with me?" Baekhyun asked, burying his nose into the crook of Chanyeol's neck. He smelled pleasantly of freshly washed clothing, with a hint of cologne that he always used. The familiar scent filling his nostrils made Baekhyun feel a tiny bit better.

Chanyeol frowned at his question.

"Don't ask silly questions, Baek. What disgust? What are you even talking about?"

Baekhyun pressed himself closer.

"There's just something I've been...thinking about a lot."

Chanyeol shifted a little, worried.

"What were you thinking about?"

"That I... that I want you," Baekhyun murmured into his shirt, and his cheeks instantly grew hotter than the sun. Oh god, he said it.

He could hear his heartbeat going crazy in the seconds when Chanyeol didn't say anything in return. Anxiety was killing him now.

Was he going to lose his boyfriend now? Was this it?

"You want me?" Chanyeol asked a minute later, puzzled. "But how is that-- oh."

There was a second of silence as he processed that.

"You mean--"

Not wishing to hear those embarrassing words from his lips, Baekhyun hastily nodded, still hiding his face in Chanyeol's shirt.

"Baekhyun," Chanyeol nudged him gently a second later. "Look at me."

Baekhyun didn't want to. Not now.

"Please?"

Feeling the heat pulsing underneath his skin, Baekhyun pulled away slightly, shyly looking up to Chanyeol.

Chanyeol's eyes weren't full of disgust, or any other bad emotion. They were as gentle as ever, warm and concerned. Understanding.

"That's not something I would disgusted of, Baek," he whispered, and Baekhyun noticed his own cheeks were slightly tinted with red. "I-It's not that at all. I..."

He struggled to find words, and his cheeks grew redder.

"I.. w-want you, too," he finally confessed, too shy to look into Baekhyun's eyes. "In every way. But I'm just... scared."

Baekhyun heart jumped in his chest.

Chanyeol wanted him, too.

He didn't think he was disgusting.

Park Chanyeol wanted him too.

"Why are you scared, then?" he managed to ask, although his heart was beating so fast that it felt like it was about to leap out of his chest.

Chanyeol breathed in nervously.

"I'm scared of not doing anything right," he confessed, looking at their clasped hands. "I have never done that before, and I never wanted to with anyone but you, I'm not a child so I know that it's something people do, but... ugh. Most of all, I'm scared of hurting you with my own hands, Baekhyun."

Baekhyun looked at their intertwined fingers, too.

So that was what it was. Chanyeol wasn't a child, and he did think about those things. He wasn't innocent to the point of not knowing or